Reset
by Phlogizein
Summary: Naruto's seal has weakened and he can no longer fully contain the fox. Rather than let it loose, he instead chooses to end his own life, and as a gift, a mysterious stranger offers him a one-time opportunity to change everything.
1. Opportunities

Summary: Naruto's seal has weakened to the point where he can no longer fully contain the fox. Rather than let it loose on his home and family, he instead chooses to end his own life and dreams, and as a reward for his sacrifice, a mysterious stranger offers him a one-time opportunity: to change everything.

I do not and never will own Naruto or the things related to it. This applies to the entire story.

This work of fiction will have violence in it. It will not have sexual content. I can't guarantee all of the information in this story will be well-written, but I will do my best and constructive advice is encouraged. But if you're going to be rude or degrading, then don't bother.

It had been years after the Akatsuki had been taken down--more than a decade after Sasuke's betrayal, his teacher's death, and the destruction of his home-- and now, at the very end, after everything that had already happened, things were falling apart. Again. And there was absolutely nothing he could do to stop it this time. Well, nothing that included his survival.

The seal was too weak and was failing.

He hadn't been using the Kyuubi's power or anything in years, but it no longer mattered, thanks to a little spy planted in the village long ago. How in the world the traitor been able to alter it, much less get to it in the first place, was a mystery to all the experts, and that meant...there wasn't anything that could be done to stop it.

Naruto had known this for two years. The only real answer was for him to die before _It_ got loose and finished what It had started 24 years ago on the day of his birth. The powerful Jonin had looked at his hands and his face in the mirror that morning and realized he'd put it off for far too long.

Now, there he stood in a clearing a good distance away from Konoha, holding a kunai to his own neck. In the middle of that perfectly clear night, he couldn't help but wonder how much it would hurt. And...would he see them again? All his old friends that had...passed...before him, would they be there waiting for him? What about his parents? It was breaking his heart, knowing that he was leaving one family behind to embrace another and he felt no shame for the tears that fell down his cheeks. In a way, he was making the same decision his father had made all those years ago, except that neither of his children would be paying the price along with him. No, this time, the only casualties would be himself and the fox. How ironic. _Dad, I understand now...far, far more than I ever wanted to._

But the worst part was knowing that he might not even see his father. The technique that the Fourth, and later the Third, had used was forbidden for a reason. If all it had required was a life, well, that wouldn't have been so bad. Death is scary, sure, but seriously, everyone has to eventually die, anyway. So no, that wasn't the problem. The problem was that those involved in the technique essentially ended up in a place of eternal torment. Hell, in other words. What if his father really had ended up there?

It made Naruto sick. He looked at his hands again and had to wonder if he would have been able to make that same choice. Maybe. The seal had weakened enough that it had finally affected his appearance to the point where his eyes would never be that brilliant blue again. No, they were red. And his hands would never be the normal, albeit calloused, digits his wife would hold and that would tickle his two sons till they surrendered their last piece of candy to him. Instead, his appearance was such that his hands were forever clawed, his teeth were sharp and protruding, and the marks on his face had thickened. It all made him look just as he had on that bridge 12 years ago the first time he'd ever accessed the Kyuubi's chakra. He couldn't push the transformation back any longer, no matter how hard he tried.

Now, it was sheer willpower alone that kept that...thing...at bay the rest of the way. Things had finally come to a head; he would rather die than put his home and family at risk like that, and since the Kyuubi would die when he died, the only option was this.

He'd left a few letters behind for his loved ones to find. They already knew the situation, but no one, not even his wife and children, had any idea of just how desperate it had gotten, so he'd left them messages to explain and tell them how much he loved them.

Ten minutes ago, he'd sent his best toad-friend with another message, telling them where to find his body if they wanted to bury him, and he couldn't put it off any longer. _And just two weeks before they were going to announce me as the next Hokage..._ he thought, amusement and cruel irony filling his senses. _Well, no use crying over spilt milk._ And then, he cut, making sure that it was deep enough that even that stupid fox couldn't heal it in time and even drinking a somewhat slow but powerful poison beforehand, just to make sure.

If he could have gasped in pain, he would have. Whoever said that suicide was the coward's way out was both right and wrong. It was the worst possible way to deal with personal issues, not to mention unbearably painful. But if it meant protecting his loved ones, Naruto thought to himself as he fell to the ground in a puddle of his own blood, the world around him growing black, _I'd do it a thousand times over._

The last thing he remembered seeing was a star in the sky. It was so bright that it managed to push back even the darkness of pain and death for a moment and leave itself forever imprinted in the young man's memory. _Wow...at least...I got to...see something...beautiful...before..._

* * *

Naruto slowly opened his eyes. _Where am I?_ he wondered. It definitely wasn't a hospital, of that much he was sure. But still, everything was white--shining, bright, even sparkling white. And yet, for some strange reason, it wasn't stark. Instead of everything being colorless and boring, this white seemed to explode color...without a spot of it anywhere. He shook his head, not even bothering to think too much on it, as it would almost certainly just give him a headache and confuse him further. He was a man of strength and wisdom, NOT intelligence. _Definitely not intelligence._

Someone laughed. "Oh, you're not as dense as all that," that same Someone said in good humor.

Naruto's eyes widened considerably. For one thing, there was no one there, and for another, he hadn't spoken a single word out loud. Was this some sort of mind-reading jutsu?

He (there was no doubt of it being a male's voice) just chuckled a little at that. And no, Naruto had once again not spoken out loud. "No, it isn't, but don't worry. I mean you no harm. Actually, I'm here to give you a gift, a reward, if you will."

This time, the blonde didn't give him the chance to read his mind with that strange jutsu of his (what else could it be?). He immediately opened his mouth to ask, "Then what the heck is it? And what's this gift you're talking about? If you're thinking of hurting my village, you've got another thing coming. I'll beat you down right here and right now! As soon as I find you, that is," he finished lamely.

The chuckles turned back into laughter. Full, bellyache-inducing guffaws. Yup. Mr. Invisible was laughing at Naruto. Precious. He could already tell they would be **wonderful** friends in the near future. Not. He growled just thinking about it. Darn it! This guy was worse than the Uchiha!

"As I stated before," Invisi-guy continued after a few minutes, "I have no intentions of harming you. And as for you harming me, well, let's just say I'm not worried and leave it at that. You should really be wondering about that gift. It's not every day I offer something like this to a human being. In fact," the being continued, "it has never been offered before at **all.**" Naruto felt What's-His-Face's breath tickle the back of his neck with that last statement, making a shiver crawl up his spine.

He spun around to face the other man, expecting someone powerful-looking with a deadly aura about him. What he saw was...almost disappointing to the point that it was shocking. A plain-looking man stood before him. His ordinary brown hair, brown eyes, and kind smile were anything but threatening in appearance. In fact, he wasn't even any taller than Naruto himself. Actually, he was at least two inches shorter, if not more. But what struck him most was Mr. Mystery's other attributes. He was heavily scarred, and from what the blonde could tell from the robes he wore, the scars covered his entire body. And he couldn't have been any older than 35. _What in the world...?_

"Don't worry about my appearance. I once had to make a choice very similar to yours: My life or the souls of countless others. This is the result of it." There was no arrogance in his attitude, and there was also no sorrow or sadness. He'd said it so simply that there was no doubt he didn't regret it one bit. Naruto's respect for the guy rose quite a few notches at that.

"Well, what's your name, at least? I can't go on calling you nicknames, now can I?" the younger man reasoned.

As expected, the other guy just smiled. "For the moment, you have no need to know a certain one of my names. You'll learn it in time, though, no doubt. But if you wish, you may call me Ayu. And your gift is a reward for choosing others over yourself and your dreams. It is a chance--a one-time offer--to change everything. Whether for better or worse, it is your decision. But it will be hard, very hard, since you will no longer have a demon to help you with your injuries or exhaustion. All of this must be without that kind of help. Do you understand?" Ayu fixed Naruto with the most stern eyes he'd ever seen (and would probably ever see, for that matter).

His own blue eyes closed for a moment, taking some time to digest everything and think about the offer. First of all, he still technically had no idea who this "dude" was (what kind of guy names himself "Walk"?), and second of all, the gift itself was questionable. What did he mean by "change everything"? Of course, there was no need to voice his concerns out loud, much to Naruto's annoyance.

"If you were ready to hear my other name, I would have told you it. But as for it not being mine, I have many names and this is one I have chosen to show you. And if you accept my gift, I will send you back in time." Now, instead of closing, Naruto's eyes snapped open in shock. Who was this guy that he could just so casually (well, maybe not that casually) offer to stop the clock and turn back the hands of time itself? Just how powerful **was** he, anyway!? Suddenly, for the first time in a very long time, his hands shook in..fear?...respect? He didn't know, but he could no longer meet the brunette's eyes.

"Naruto, do you accept?" There was a kind smile on Ayu's face as he waited for his response.

What could he say? "Lord Ayu, if it is a gift from you, then I accept with humble gratitude." If there's one thing he'd learned over the years, it was to show respect to those in positions of authority, and Naruto had no doubts that a guy who could control time itself had to have a lot of it.

Ayu's smile brightened so much that even the sparkling white around them seemed dull by comparison. At least it wasn't the grin that Rock Lee liked to blind people with. That would have been too much. Death, resurrection, time travel, _and_ a Gai-grin all in one day? Naruto didn't know if he'd be able to take it. Wait a minute. Death? "Hey," he began, "wasn't I--" He never had a chance to finish as the area around them started fading, the brunette's smile the last thing he saw before he blacked out, just like that star.

* * *

If you like it, let me know. If you don't like, let me know why. This is sort of a trial thing.

I'll finish the story, more than likely, whether anyone likes it or not, but that doesn't mean that I'll publish the rest of it here...


	2. Discoveries

Here's just a little bit to whet your appetites...enjoy! (Standard disclaimer still applies.)

_Dear Members of Team 7,_

_ I guess you're probably wondering where I am right now and what I'm doing. I wish I could say that I'll tell you when I get back, but I can't because I won't be coming back. Now, now, don't give me that look. I'm not pulling a "Sasuke," ok? In fact, if I could, I'd stay with you all forever, laughing at Sai's attempts at humor, betting on Kakashi's next Gai-challenge, gaping in awe about Sakura's latest medical discovery/breakthrough, and wondering where Sasuke might be now. I never was able to keep my promise to bring him back to Konoha, but at least he is no longer an Avenger. At least he has some peace in his life, and maybe, just maybe, that's enough. _

The two people standing next to the boy were shocked. He had literally appeared right at their feet in front of them. Completely nude. Rin averted her eyes, blushing furiously. Obito wasn't much better, but he had the decency to pull off his dark jacket and cover the kid. He wasn't worried about the stranger suddenly waking up and attacking; he was definitely out of it.

With him newly-covered, Rin felt it was safe to take a peek. After all, she was a medical-nin. In fact, it was pretty embarrassing for a naked body to have such an effect on her, but it was so sudden! There was no poof, no pop, and not one ounce of noise. They'd just blinked and voila, there he was in all his birthday-suit glory, albeit somewhat covered in blood. A random boy popping up out of nowhere like that would shock anyone out of their senses. But she'd regained her professionalism pretty quickly and leaned over to check his vital signs. As she did so, she gasped.

"What! What is it!" Obito practically shouted.

_Geez, do you have to be so loud?_ Rin thought to herself before answering, "His throat...look at it."

Obito looked and promptly swore. "Well, I guess we know where all that blood came from," he said.

"Yeah, but who did it and how in the world is this guy still alive? Whatever made that cut should have sliced right through the jugular. And..." she paused as she continued her examination, "...he's been poisoned." Now it was her turn to swear. Someone REALLY wanted this person dead. At least the poison was a slow-acting one that she recognized. If only it weren't so potent. Rin sighed. This was going to be tricky. And to think this was supposed to be their day off.

"Can you heal him?"

"Yes, but it's not going to be easy." Her brown eyes turned to his dark ones as her voice took on an air of authority. "Contact Minato-Sensei immediately, tell him what we've found, and get back here as soon as possible, preferably with a medical team and some clothes." He took off at once, and Rin was left watching the new kid, wondering who was after him and how he got away and ended up at their team's training grounds, of all places. Also, who was he? His face and hair were mostly covered in his own blood, so it was impossible to tell, but he did appear to have some birthmarks...maybe.

She shook her head. She could figure all this stuff out later! Right now the priority was to save his life! Friend or foe, it made no difference off the battlefield; this was her job and she would do it and do it well. The green energy in her hands increased as she fought to contain the deadly toxins and heal what remained of the lethal wound to his throat. Odd...the jugular was intact, but not as though it'd never been touched. It had been _healed already. _

Deciding that the poison itself was the real problem, she took one hand off of his chest and slipped it into her weapons pouch to take out a kunai. She then made a small cut to his forearm, put the knife back, and proceeded to drag whatever poison she could out of it. It was much more difficult than simply giving him an antidote, but there wasn't time for that. Just because it was slow-acting didn't mean it was _that _slow.

Her thoughts were cut short when Obito returned with Minato and a medical team in tow. Kakashi wasn't there. Not that she'd expected him to be; some random nude, injured guy probably wasn't something he would consider worth his time. Then again, she hadn't actually requested his presence. ("Requested" as in "ordered," that is.)

"What's the status?" Minato asked, immediately in his typical dead-serious attitude. Women loved that kind of thing.

"His throat has been cut but partially healed, so that shouldn't be a threat to his life. However, he was also poisoned, which I am trying to fix." Sweat dripped off her forehead onto the youth she was working on. It was an exhausting process.

The youth, feeling said drops of sweat, suddenly awakened, gasping. His eyes shot open as he looked around in panic and tried to get up.

"No way, kid. You've been seriously injured and aren't going anywhere but the hospital," Minato stated in no uncertain terms. "Medics," he called, "as soon as Rin says he's stable, take him to the hospital, please. Obito, stay here and make sure he doesn't try anything. I'm going to request some ANBU to keep an eye on him." The blonde wonder left without a sound, a brief flash being the only thing signaling his leave.

Now the stranger looked even more panicked, but he did as he was told and stayed put. It was hard to read his facial expressions thanks to the blood, but he was clearly both afraid and in pain. Also...his eyes... Rin shook her head again. There were more important things to worry about!

She finished pulling as much of the poison out as she could, remembering to keep a small vial of it so she could create an antidote (if there wasn't one available), and the medics gently put him on a stretcher, nearly dislodging the jacket covering his waist. Then they began the careful process of carrying him back to the hospital.

As the two teammates watched, the boy passed out, most likely from weakness and the pain of being jostled even a little. Then they looked at each other.

"Oh, man!" Obito could not contain his excitement. "A real, live mystery! And it's all ours! YES!!!" He leaped into the air, pumping his fist, and landed somewhat...clumsily. Rin sighed once more. He was the only Uchiha in existence (that she knew of) who was constantly looking for fun and entertainment rather than obsessively practicing some new jutsu or other. For that reason, his whole family--parents and siblings included--called him worthless, and yet, he never let it get him down.

She chuckled to herself. Maybe he had a point this time. "I have to admit, it is very intriguing. What do you say we try to find out a little bit more about him?" she asked, turning to the hyperactive teammate.

Her answer came in the form of another leap into the air (fist and all) and an exclamation of, "YEAH!!!!!!"

Rin laughed. She loved Kakashi, but Obito had more personality. Maybe some of it would rub off on him some day. After all, that stick could only go so much further up his--

"Come on, Rin! Let's go find Kakashi and get him to help us!" _Perfect timing as always, Obito. Perfect timing._

_

* * *

_I should have longer chapters after this, but this will do for the moment. Let me know if the action seems to rushed; I tend to get carried away when writing.

Also, if you catch any spelling mistakes or colossal grammatical errors, let me know.

Any other helpful comments...? I could use 'em.


	3. GoldieLocks

Here is the next chapter. Let me know what you think about the characters' personalities. (Standard I-don't-own-this speech still applies)

* * *

_Sasuke, this part of the letter is for you. I don't blame you for what you did and I also don't blame you for not coming back. Things never did seem to turn out the way you were hoping, did they? You and I have that in common far more than you ever realized. You want to know what I miss the most? I miss the way your eyebrow would twitch every time you tried to hold back laughter or a smile whenever I told one of my stupid jokes or somehow tripped on an invisible rock. Even when it was aimed at mocking me, I still liked seeing it because it was one of the only times you seemed at ease, like you'd forgotten certain things that had happened. Do you remember when Kakashi asked us what our dreams were? You didn't have one then, so I'm going to give you one: be happy. Yeah, it's corny, I know, but if someone didn't tell you, I know for a fact you'd forget it was ever important. As for your ambitions, things with Itachi may not have gone as planned, but you don't have to worry about that other one. He's safe and taken care of for life. I only wish I could be there for more of it. And just as I was going to be named Hokage, too..._

Minato stepped into the hospital room, sliding past the two ANBU guards at the door without hesitation. They knew him well enough not to bother asking him his business. Besides, that kid...despite the fact that he had randomly appeared in such a condition, there was also the issue of his identity. If it weren't for his age, the hospital staff and guards would all have thought the Yellow Flash had a twin he'd never told anyone about. They'd love to ask the younger blonde some questions themselves, if they could.

However, with the damage to his throat, it'd be awhile before he could talk again. Still, the two ANBU would have first dibs at any juicy gossip once the kid **did** start talking.

The top-ranked Jonin stood by the bed, staring at the teenager in front of him. He couldn't be more than 13 or 14 years old at the most and it seemed that people already wanted to hunt him down. That right there was cause for concern.

It didn't mean he was a shinobi, however. He could just be a politician's son, or maybe royalty that someone wanted out of the way. (Although, his obscene amounts of chakra made that unlikely.) Minato was there to find out for sure.

AND WHY THE HECK DID HE LOOK JUST LIKE HIM?? It was making him nervous just looking at the boy. Seriously, who was this kid?

Well, according to the doctors, he should be waking up pretty soon, so...he pulled out a notebook and a pencil from his weapons pouch and started to doodle. After about ten minutes of that, he noticed the stranger stirring and watched as brilliant blue eyes met his own.

After a moment of confusion, the boy's face scrunched up in pain and he grabbed his head. Then, he looked back at the ninja before him and tried to speak. He panicked when he found that impossible.

"Relax," Minato said in as calming a voice as he could. "Your throat was injured pretty badly and it's a miracle you survived. You won't be speaking for awhile and will probably have a bit of a scar, but other than that, you should make a full recovery." The youth looked relieved but still confused. "You know, I'd be very interested in knowing how exactly you got that injury. Care to explain?" he asked, handing the other blonde his pencil and his notebook after flipping it to a clean page.

The teen just stared at it for a moment before grabbing his head again, this time with both hands. _Strange,_ Minato thought._ He shouldn't be having migraines._ He watched as the kid with the strange marks on his cheeks just shook his head after a moment and then jotted something down on the paper and handed it back to its original owner.

The two sentences made the Jonin look at him in surprise before he called a nurse in.

"It's alright. Don't worry; we'll have this figured out eventually. In the meantime, you just try and get some rest. It's possible that it's just leftover stress from whatever happened to you, so it'll probably go away in a few days. Ok?" The stranger nodded, but the worry and fear never left his face. Maybe he sensed the slight fibbing on Minato's part. The nurse came in then and he figured it was time to leave and give his report. Wonderful.

This was not good. The Third would be very unhappy to hear about this...although, he suspected Obito would be thrilled as it deepened the mystery. But he had to feel just a little bit sorry for the injured boy. Things were about to get very hard on him.

_"I can't remember anything! Who am I?"_

Just for that alone, Goldie (he already had a nickname) would be subject to interrogation. Too many spies had claimed the same thing, and although Minato was pretty sure he was telling the truth, it made no difference. They had no choice.

* * *

_Hey, Sai, this next bit is for you. Now, I know you've been showing emotions a lot more lately and all, but I have to insist that you DO NOT start sobbing out loud at my funeral. Got it? I want it to be fun, not miserable, if at all possible. Just don't make any of your little comments about my...personal assets, if you don't mind. Besides, it's completely not true! Just ask my wife, if you don't believe me. Haha, maybe not. I guess it wouldn't be very appropriate, huh? Anyway, would you do me a favor? Well, actually, would you do me two favors? Keep an eye on my family and try to hold the team together. I don't want you all missing me and getting upset every time you think of or talk about me, so I'm making it a rule right now that you have to laugh at 80% of the time you guys talk about me. Which means talking about the good times, not the bad. I don't want my death to be either the last thing or the first thing you all remember about me, ok? And if Kakashi keeps standing at that **** memorial all the time, smack him for me. The last thing Team Seven needs is one more emo around..._

Flowers, flowers, and more flowers. Every type, every cut, every variety....in every...single....room. He was a man, for crying out loud! Men don't want their houses decorated in daisies and-and roses! (And tulips, orchids, chrysanthemums....) It was getting ridiculous, Inoichi thought as he walked into his living room. His girlfriend and he had had a little...tiff lately. Nothing serious. Just a wee bit of an argument. About his dislike of flowers. And all things frilly. With that thought, he figured it'd be a good idea to check out his bedroom, too.

Ah, it was both satisfying and infuriating to find out his suspicions were correct. Satisfying because it meant his skills were improving (Aimi was ridiculously unpredictable and therefore volatile), and infuriating because now his sheets had flower prints and were distinctly frilly and, he choked as he saw this, lined with more than enough lace to make anyone who saw it start wondering about his...identity.

Oh, but that wasn't all. Oh, no. Apparently, she'd found the white jacket that had quickly become his favorite to wear and had dyed it. Now it was a pale pink, about the same shade as those tiny roses Aimi was fond of. (Teacup roses, perhaps?) He cursed long and hard when he saw that.

And there was nothing he could do about any of it. Well, not unless he wanted to be laughed out of town when word got around about his lapse in house security and, um, other matters. His two former teammates had no mercy. In fact, if he had to guess, Shikaku had probably helped her set it all up, the traitor! His traps weren't anything to sneeze at and he could think of only one person capable of getting through them so easily.

Now that he'd figured all that out, how the heck was he supposed to get all this stuff out of his house without the whole town seeing?

He was spared from having to answer his own question when a voice spoke from the window (which, he just realized, had been open the whole time, making him curse again). "Yamanaka-san, the Hokage requests your presence immediately." Then, the ANBU turned around as if to leave, paused, looked back into the room, and choked back a laugh as he ran off to let the rest of his squad know what he'd just discovered.

Aimi was going to pay dearly.

He'd made it to the Hokage's office ten minutes later, still swearing in his head and planning retribution. The secretary let him in immediately, where he saw Minato Namikaze and a doctor he didn't recognize.

"Good afternoon, Hokage-sama. Is there anything I can do for you?"

Sarutobi sighed and said, "I'm afraid so. It seems a boy was found in Minato's team's training grounds; he was badly injured and could not be identified. When he awoke a few hours ago, he implied that he had a case of amnesia."

Oh. _That_ kind of assignment. Inoichi had to say that out of all the ways of interrogation in existence, his least favorite was invading another person's mind. It was like a less physical version of rape and was only used in certain circumstances, this being one of them.

"I see," he replied. "I'll go and see him at once, if you like."

Their village leader nodded, clearly not any happier at the prospect than Inoichi was. "Yes, you and Minato go see what you can find out and report back to me immediately."

The two then bowed, left, and headed to the hospital where he met...Minato's twin?? He glanced at his friend for a moment before shaking his head and walking towards the obviously frightened kid. The boy's eyes darted from him to Minato and back as if to ask, "Who the heck are you?"

"Just relax," his older version said, "we need to see who you are as soon as possible, and Inoichi is here to help you with that." Then Goldie looked at the interrogation specialist and nodded. Great. Now the kid was going to feel not only violated but betrayed once he figured out exactly what this "help" consisted of. If he were guilty of something, that wouldn't be a problem. But if he hadn't done anything wrong, well...oops.

Inoichi moved next to the boy, put his hands on his forehead, and entered the teen's mind. What he saw shocked him and he backed out quickly.

"Hey, Inoichi, what's wrong?" Minato asked, worried. But he ignored the other Jonin and hurried back to the Hokage to report.

His hand was shaking the whole way, though. It wasn't because of what he'd seen; it was because of what he'd _felt._ That was the special aspect of that jutsu. Whatever images he saw, he experienced the emotions along with them, although not nearly as strongly. Howver, this person, this child, had tried to kill himself, and those feelings leading up to it were almost over powering Inoichi to the point that he was tempted to follow suit.

Having a spy show up in the village was no big deal. Having a mentally unbalanced spy was also somewhat common. But having a spy that had emotions running so strongly that he couldn't be safely interrogated? That was rare. And what's more is he had no doubts of Goldie's amnesia.

He kind of wished he had it, too.

* * *

_Hey, Kakashi-sensei! You know something? I think that, out of all the members of Team Seven, I'll miss you most. Why? Well, for starters, you're living proof that stuck-up jerks have hope of recovery. And for another, you taught me the value of never leaving a person behind. Protect those you care about. The team is more important than the mission. Don't let people with masks intimidate you. Eat your vegetables. Wash behind your ears. You taught me all of those things and I thank you. Wherever I go, whether it be heaven or, um, not heaven, I'll remember your kindness towards me. You were my mentor and the first Jonin that I ever respected, and you were one of the only ones besides Neji (more or less), and the other teams' leaders. By the way, the Pervy-Sage is NOT on that short list. I'm sure you can guess why. Anyway, like I told Sai, don't you dare spend all your days mourning me and thinking about all the ways you could have done better, blah blah blah. Not one bit of it is your fault, so if you dare to even think of spending all your free time at that stone crying over me, I will haunt you. And I will steal your mask, too. So don't you dare. The others are going to need you too much for you to just lose yourself in sadness. I did what I had to do. Now, you do what _you_ have to do..._

Sarutobi just stared at his top interrogations specialist. "Say that again, please."

"The subject was in that condition because he attempted to take his own life. I didn't see much in the way of images, but the emotions were so overwhelming that I didn't dare to stay any longer. I can't say what led up to it, but I can say that he was absolutely certain that he was doing the right thing. There were no signs of extreme depression or anger but rather a sadness and such a grim determination that I nearly chose to slit my own throat on the spot." To say that the Third was shocked was an understatement. Such a thing was supposed to be impossible. People going through that particular type of interrogation could not simply overwhelm their interrogators with emotions. Sure, they could make them **aware** of the feelings, but to do this? It should not have been even remotely feasible.

And yet it was. The Hokage closed his eyes in frustration. So, a possibly dangerous, suicidal spy had a natural and blatantly powerful resistance to the mind-probe. This day was just getting better and better. The next phrase he uttered had so many "blankety-blanks" in it that one of his ANBU guards came in to make sure he wasn't accidentally murdering his guest in anger.

He wasn't. Mr. ANBU left the Third to his dirty language.

"Hokage," the Yamanaka began, "I realize how dangerous it is to have a possible spy be that dedicated and in that state of mind showing up here. He might decide to blow himself and the shopping district up. However," Sarutobi's eyebrows rose as his Jonin continued, "I have no doubts that he truly does have amnesia. If he got his memories back, he could be dangerous, but as he is right now, he's about as harmless as a kitten. And the fact is that, until he does get some memories back and we can question him to make sure he truly is a spy, killing him right now would be nothing less than murder."

"I know, I know. What do you suggest, since, sadly enough, you know more about this kid than anyone else at the moment? He definitely needs to be under constant surveillance with someone powerful enough to keep him in check if he gets out of hand. What do you think?"

"Why not put him with Minato's team? They'll be able to keep an eye on him better than anyone else right now, especially since they do have some time off. Plus, they found him and Obito's going to stick to him like glue till he's got Goldie-locks all figured out." Inoichi paused to chuckle. "Couldn't keep that one away even if we tried. And he's already familiar with him and Rin, not to mention Minato, whom he trusted enough to let me use my jutsu without putting up a fight. They'll be able to get a good idea of what kind of person he is and what kind of shinobi, as well."

"If he even is one," the Hokage put in.

"Oh, he definitely is,' the interrogator stated. "One of the nurses was a Hyuuga and looked him over. Apparently, his chakra coils are extremely well-developed, and not just for his age, either. There were a couple of other indications, as well, but that's the biggest."

Oh, what Sarutobi wouldn't do for a headache-free day. Just one. Was that really too much to ask? "This had better not come back to bite us." Inoichi gulped. "Alright, it will be just as you suggested with one more stipulation. He must have sessions with you every other day." He saw his subordinate grimace and start to speak, holding up a hand before he could do so. "You won't use that jutsu on him. I just want to keep an eye on his mental health as much as possible. Now, go ahead and give the message to Minato and leave me in peace to deal with this mess. The council is already throwing a fit at just letting him live."

Inoichi nodded and left hurriedly as the Third grabbed his pipe while trying to think of which countries would dare to send such an obvious spy right to their doorsteps. The list wasn't exactly short. However, out of those nations, which ones had the ability to make him pop up like that? He didn't know of any. And what's more, whoever heard of a spy who'd tried to kill himself _before_ completing his mission. And nude, too. Can't forget that. He wasn't aware of anyone, sane or otherwise, that would send a shinobi behind enemy lines with severe injuries and with absolutely nothing to defend himself with.

There was a ton of motive, no means that he was aware of, but one big, blonde-haired, blue-eyed opportunity. Things weren't adding up and he didn't like it.

* * *

Obito was practically buzzing with excitement. "HE LOST HIS MEMORY?!!?" he practically screamed at his poor teacher. "THAT'S THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER I HAVE TO TALK TO HIM FIND OUT WHO HE IS HOW HE GOT HERE WHERE HE'S FROM WHAT HAPPENED WHO--" Minato-sensei clamped a hand over the youth's mouth to stop the noise. He knew couldn't stand listening to him when he got going like that.

"You know, I seriously doubt Goldie's as happy about this as you are, Obito."

Oh. Right. Thanks a lot, Sensei. Ruin all my fun with logic and reasoning, why don't you. Wait a minute... "'Goldie'? Did you just call him 'Goldie'?" His teacher wanted to slap himself. Obito didn't even have to ask; he could tell by the look on Minato-sensei's face. Priceless! Just think of all the jokes he could come up with!

...And then reality hit again with the help of the brick known as "Teacher."

"That's the nickname all the nurses were calling him and it just stuck. Now, he's going to be a member of our team for awhile so that we can keep an eye on him. In the meantime, you are not to antagonize, infuriate, or otherwise provoke him. Is that understood?" Oh, boy, he was using the old "teacher glare." Obito didn't know anyone strong enough to fend that one off, except maybe Kakashi, but he was basically an ice-block, anyway. He wouldn't know a feeling if it bit him in the butt.

And Obito wasn't the Ice Cube. Darn. So much for fun. "Alright. I'll try not to." He made sure that his voice sounded dejected enough to warrant a free bowl of ramen. Minato-sensei was predictable like that.

"Good, because, if you do, you'll be joining a Yamanaka for a little one-on-one conference." Then he left. Without offering him ramen.

...So much for predictable. Goldie...he already didn't like him just for that. But he'd have to be subtle about it. _Can't have the Elder Blondie mad at me._ He shivered at the thought. There was a reason for the "Flee on sight" command for his sensei. Certain buttons should never be pushed. Others, though...well, he'd just have to wait and see.

The black-haired boy cackled in a mock-evil manner as he walked back to his apartment, rubbing his hands and plotting the whole way.

* * *

I can only speak for myself when I say this, but seriously, I love Obito's mind and the way it works. What do you think?

And that was Ch. 3, completed the same day as Chapters 1 and 2. Is this story worth continuing or not?


	4. Echo

Next chapter is up and running! Enjoy and feel free to point out mistakes/inconsistencies/etc. (Standard disclaimer applies)

_Tick..._

_Tick..._

_Tick..._

_Tick..._

_I'm going to kill that clock._

_Tick..._

_Slowly. Piece by piece._

_Tick..._

_With a very large hammer._

_Tick..._

_Tick..._

_WHACK!!_ Too bad only a pillow was at his disposal. Still, he smiled in smug satisfaction as the now-cracked and troublesome little noisemaker slid effortlessly off the wall and crashed onto the floor.

Which, of course, alerted his guards. He glared at them as they jumped in and then stared at the offending piece of technology and himself. What did they know? They didn't have to worry about going insane from the constant _TICKING!_ If he never saw another wall clock again...

"What the crap was that?" asked one of the Masked Bandits, as he liked to call them.

_Glare._

"Um, would you like us to remove the clock?" another one volunteered.

_Smile, clap, clap, nod._

The three looked at each other, grabbed the **thing, **returned his abused pillow, and left the room muttering something about how "Obito" would love to hear about "this," whatever the heck that meant.

He didn't care. There were more important things to worry about, like his throat and his memory. Thanks to Mr. Ponytail's mind games, he'd regained one brief memory, and it wasn't a pleasant one. In fact, it filled him with a sense of dread and terror for what he had almost done to himself.

_Let's see...small meadow, beautiful night, holding a knife to my own throat. Did I leave anything out? Hm. No, I didn't think so. Great. Just what I always wanted--to be mentally unhinged. Even Mr. Ponytail seemed rather disturbed by it._

Oh, and the best part was the pretty little nickname they'd saddled him with already. Goldie. What, did they think he was a dog or something? He sighed. What a wonderful life he had woken up to yesterday. Apparently, everything was going so well that he'd opted to end it all rather than sticking it out. Was he a coward or brainwashed? It was impossible to tell. After all, he was a stranger to himself.

And to them, as well, since he'd "crash landed" there without any identification of any kind, being stark naked and all. For some reason, "Goldie" just couldn't get over that fact. Unhinged was one thing. Outright insane would be more than he could bear.

The patient spent the next half hour staring at the hospital's ceiling, wondering who and what he was. If it was something bad, maybe he this was a second chance and he could become something better, instead. Maybe...

Someone was approaching the door. He could smell it. How, he couldn't say, but it was one more question he wanted to ask his old self as soon as they'd "reunited," so to speak. He considered the possibilities as his doctor walked in to check on him.

In complete silence, of course. Goldie couldn't really blame him; seriously, it's not like he could talk back or anything. But still, wasn't there some sort of research on the effects of the lack of human interaction? The doctor walked back out after making a couple of quick notes on a clipboard.

_I'll take that as a "no."_

As he walked into the hall, however, he stopped and appeared to be discussing his recent findings with another person. Probably one of the guards. Maybe they were running an illegal gossip ring or something. He chuckled in his mind at that--grown men gossiping like teenage girls. Ha! Take that, Masked Bandits!

So it came as quite the shock to the young blondie when an older blondie slid past the guards and into the small hospital room. _Whoa..._he hadn't sensed this guy at ALL.

Interesting.

"Well, kid," he started off (not gaining any cookie points for calling him a kid), "the doc says that your throat is healing nicely and that you should be getting your voice back pretty soon, within the next week, I'd imagine." The boy on the hospital bed slapped his hand to his forehead, leaned back on his pillow--the faithful friend that had helped put that clock in its place--and threw back his head in a silent scream of frustration.

The other guy laughed, earning him a nasty glare that would have frozen the sun. He shut his mouth very quickly. "U-uh, you'll be happy to know that you're cleared to be released from the hospital, at least." The boy was not impressed. "I, uh, took the liberty of finding you a place to stay for a little while, too. You'll be staying with Obito till we figure out who you are. Ok?"

No response. Why should he even bother nodding? It's not like he had any say in the matter.

"Um...he should be along shortly with some clothes..." Mr. Sunshine trailed off nervously. Goldie didn't care. He was mad and wanted to take it out on someone. Darn. Now he wished he still had that stupid clock. He could use a little target practice.

An impatient voice interrupted his inner musings. "Hey, let me in, Lizard! My sensei's in there and told me to come by!"

"It's alright. You can let him in," Minato assured the guards. Then Obito walked in and Junior Blonde stared.

The first thing to enter "Goldie's" mind? _Hedgehog._ He had to bite his cheek to hold back the grin. However, that didn't stop "Hedgehog" from noticing.

"What's so funny?"

_Oh, nothing, except that your hair is so pointy that it could be used as a weapon._ Now he really did grin.

The black-haired youth tossed the bag he carried onto the floor next to the bed, opened it, and pulled out a chalkboard, an eraser, and some chalk. "Here," he said.

With silent laughter on his lips, Goldie wrote the animal's name down, reasonably sure that no one would understand it.

He was wrong. Minato's guffaws actually echoed, they were so loud, and Obito, well, he was a little...slower. "I don't get it. What does a spiky mammal have to do with anything?"

Yeah, right, like _he_ was about to tell. Minato was apparently thinking along the same lines. "Never mind, Obito," he managed to choke out as he struggled to contain his laughter. "Never mind."

"Anyway," his dark eyes narrowed suspiciously as he introduced himself, "I'm Obito Uchiha and you and I are going to be roommates for awhile."

Uchiha...there was something about that name that seemed vaguely familiar, as though he'd heard it in a dream once, long ago. It made his headache come back and he cradled his head as he waited for the stabbing pains to pass.

They didn't. Instead, brief images and faded voices seemed to echo in his mind. _"...would you know!....suffering now because I had those bonds!.." "...I'll do anything it takes to stop you...even if I have to--"_

"GOLDIE! Snap out of it, kid!" _Hey, what's up with all the shouting? You're just going to make my head hurt worse, you idiot._ He looked up at the yelling blonde and concerned Uchiha, irritation flashing in his bright, blue eyes. _Darn it, I was remembering something!_ Why couldn't they have left him alone for five minutes...

"Geez, thank goodness! We were getting worried. You were unresponsive for about five minutes." _Hm. Never mind._ "We called for a nurse, but she had an emergency down the hall and won't be here for another few. You ok?"

_Yes, yes,_ he nodded, wanting to get this over with.

"Did you remember something?" Obito asked, finally asking the question that was clearly plaguing his mind and would keep him up all night long without an answer.

Goldie rolled his eyes and wrote something on his chalkboard.

_"Yes, and I would have remembered more if you hadn't interrupted me."_

The dark-haired boy was a bit insulted, but Mr. Sunshine ignored the slight barb. "What did you remember? Write down everything you can."

_"I don't really understand it myself, but I saw a waterfall with giant statues. There was a boy there, and he had strange eyes. I think he was trying to kill me, but I wasn't scared."_

Minato's eyes widened as he read. For a moment, his gaze darted to his student before looking back at Junior Blonde. Then, he motioned to Obito and the two left the room, presumably to have a little "conference."

Goldie figured he might as well take a nap.

* * *

_Sakura, the more time that passes, the more I realize just how far we've come and how much has been gained and lost along the way. We gained strength, careers, and irreplaceable friends and families. But there are days when I wondered if what we lost in return was worth it. What happened to having a childhood? We'd both like to believe that being shinobi had no effect on that, but we also both know that's not true. How can being turned into killers not have consequences? My childhood was never much to speak of, but what little of it I'd had was ripped away the day Haku died. I tried to hold onto it a little longer, anyway, but masks just can't replace the real thing. And yours ended the day Sasuke walked out of the village, leaving you unconscious on a cold bench. Or was it before? Ever since he got that curse mark, you've never been the same. But you know what? With all that we've done in spite of that, I can't say I regret it..._

"Hey, Minato-sensei," his student turned to him, "what's up? You look a bit freaked out."

"Not freaked out, as you put it, but somewhat disturbed. He only reacted like that after you told him your family name."

"Yeah. So?"

Minato sighed. Sometimes it was really irritating trying to get through to Obito. And what's more, he was sure at least part of it was an act. Ok, so he **hoped** it was an act, because, if not... "Did you read what he wrote? It said 'strange eyes.' There aren't exactly a whole bunch of different dojutsus running around, you know. Also, he mentioned a waterfall with giant statues. Ring any bells?"

He waited patiently for the light to go off in the young Uchiha's head.

.....

.....

"Oh! You mean someone with a sharingan was trying to kill him, and maybe at the Valley of the End, don't you?"

"Or Goldie was trying to kill him there, yes. Which is why I think it would be best if he didn't stay with you, after all." The disappointment practically screamed from the chunin's face. He'd have to buy him some ramen later to make up for it.

"...I understand." The look of utter dejection tugged at his sensei's heart strings. Yes, some ramen was definitely in order. "But then, where's he going to stay, Sensei?"

"He'll have to stay with me, in that case. You and I both know Kakashi's out of the question."

"Yeah, no kidding. Old Ice Cube would have Goldie tearing his hair out in half an hour."

"Uh-huh, and since his mind's fragile enough already..." he let his student fill in the rest, then left him to go back to inform the troubled teen.

His decision to take in "Mini-MInato," as one of the guards had called him, could prove to be more trouble than it was worth. As a jonin and a team leader, he had several responsibilities that would make the arrangement difficult. Plus, it could also be a double-edged sword; the kid could keep an eye on _him,_ after all. If he were a spy planted by Iwa and learned a bit too much about a certain technique of his, for example, the consequences would be horrendous.

It'd be like walking on egg shells. Maybe he could get his old teacher or one of his friends to help...

The man looked at the kid as the nurse checked him over, unplugging him from whatever contraptions they'd had him hooked up to, and released him into Minato's care. Sullen and (of course) silent, he was clearly less than thrilled to hear about his living arrangements. Or was it something else? Sure, his place was nowhere near five-star accommodations, but it had to be better than living on the streets, right?

As soon as he was dressed, the two of them left without a word, the elder leading the way. Strange, but he got the distinct impression that Goldie was more than a little troubled to be leaving, even though he clearly hated staying, and that it had nothing to do with where he was going.

"What's wrong? I thought you'd be happy to leave."

Blue eyes didn't even glance in his direction. _That's some attitude that kid's got. Maybe Kakashi wouldn't have been such a bad placement, after all. Still...there's something about him. And his looks! If I didn't know any better, I'd say we were related, but I don't have any relatives. At least, I don't think so. Dad did have a somewhat questionable reputation, but that was before he met Mom. Then again, looking at this kid makes me wonder. I guess I could compare their DNA, since Dad's is still on record. That would clear things up quickly._ He thought for a moment and decided to go for it. What was there to lose? Nothing. What was there to gain? Maybe a brother. Yes, he'd definitely go for it.

* * *

Naruto's not emo or anything; he's frustrated and scared, just like any normal teen would be after losing his memory and realizing that he'd tried to kill himself. He doesn't remember that he was once an adult and so has no knowledge or maturity to fall back on. He's just winging it the best he can.

Did you catch the interaction between Minato and Obito? Obito is probably going to be one of my favorite characters because of the way he handles his teacher so easily.

As for why Minato won't test his own DNA to Naruto's, it's because it wouldn't occur to him that he could be his son. Time travel would be the last thing he'd think of with a father that had a player's reputation at one point in his life. Way to go, Blondie.

As for whom Ayu really is, I'm leaving that one up to debate for the moment.

And Naruto's future wife and sons...I have an idea for this, but I'd like some input on whom they should be.

Thanks for all the reviews, and I'll try to keep getting chapters up there fairly quickly to keep you happy :)


	5. Ramen and DNA

Standard disclaimer applies, as always.

* * *

The Yellow Flash stared at the test results in shock. An hour ago, he would have laughed at the possibility. But now... DNA tests don't lie. He cursed under his breath.

His father had a grandson. That could only mean one thing. He had a half sibling out there somewhere who had a kid. And his nephew had been almost literally dropped right off at his door. A nephew who had nearly killed himself and could very well be a spy working for the enemy.

In fact, now that he knew they were related, it was more likely for him to be an enemy; after all, family members tended to trust one another, and killing a relative was far more difficult than killing a complete stranger. And with him being a war-hero and it being _his_ nephew, it would be even worse. The public would love the kid.

He went through the list in his head as he sat outside the Hokage's office, waiting for a meeting to finish.

--Defeat a powerful enemy. _I can handle that, no problem._

--Fend off a thousand fan-girls. _Been there, done that._

--Take out multiple targets in the blink of an eye. _Well, I am the Yellow Flash._

--Create jutsus capable of leveling a building. _Rasengan, check._

--Deal with an emotionally-stunted robot, a dim-witted, fun-loving Uchiha outcast, and a gentle girl that hates to kill, all on the same team. _Yup, got that._

--Kill his 13-year-old nephew for being a spy. _I...don't know._

The jonin put his head in his hands and thought about the boy he'd gotten to know over the last few days. They were so different from each other! The boy definitely had some Namikaze characteristics with his physical appearance, that was for sure. But from what he could tell of his attitude, not so much. Namikaze men were known for being polite and calm, not to mention intelligent and serious.

Goldie simply wasn't. Like Obito, Minato hoped and prayed that at least some of it was an act. Polite? Not a chance after calling his new teammate a hedgehog. Calm? Ha! The kid couldn't sit still for an hour if his life depended on it. Intelligent? He had a feeling he shouldn't even go there. And serious? Maybe he had seemed like it at first, but when Minato discovered that his toothpaste now stained his teeth purple every time he brushed, well, that went out the door **fast.** And so did he...to buy some new toothpaste.

Lovely. He was already getting attached. To his only living relative. A boy whose life might have to end by his own hand. Minato desperately needed some advice.

He looked up as the door opened and the meeting finally ended. He noted the Hokage's two former teammates leaving, along with a few other members of the council. That could only mean one thing. Sarutobi-sama was going to be in a foul mood. Pesky ex-teammates with delusions of authority tended to do that to a person. _Arrogant little twits._ Elders or not, they could be real jerks sometimes. Still, he bowed respectfully as they walked past him, not that they noticed.

He walked forward after they had gone and couldn't help but dread the discussion he and the village leader were sure to have.

"Ah, Minato-san. How is your new house guest?" The voice was polite, but clearly strained.

"Actually, that's what I came here to talk to you about, Hokage-sama." He had the older man's full attention now. Was that a good thing or a bad thing?

"As you know, spies showing up randomly isn't exactly rare, even if they've never made such a grand entrance before. But if I had to guess, the most effective type of spy an enemy could use is one with an excellent connection to the village, such as actually being a citizen." His boss nodded, eyes narrowing slightly. "Well, if this 'Goldie' really is a spy, then he's almost the perfect plant."

Now the Hokage's eyes widened. "Do explain, Namikaze-san," he commanded, voice sharp and demanding.

Minato closed his eyes briefly, wondering why he was ever stupid enough to think there were no risks involved in that DNA test. Oh, that's right; he was just so _certain_ that it'd be negative, that's why. And all those little warning bells going off in his head were completely ignored. _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ Nothing was ever that easy.

"You remember my father, right?" Sarutobi just stared. Of course he remembered. "Well, do you remember the reputation he had before he married my mother?" Ah. Now the pipe-smoking genius was starting to see where he was going with this. "The nurses and doctors always made sure to keep a sample of his DNA around, just in case certain...problems...ever came up when he wasn't in the village. And one just popped up out of nowhere. Literally."

The Third interrupted. "Are you saying he's your brother?" The man's voice was deceptively calm, but his eyes looked like daggers.

"No. I'm saying he's my nephew." At this, Minato was no longer able to look his fearless leader in the eyes. But he looked back up when he heard a loud _BANG_.

Said fearless leader had just slammed his fearless head on his wooden desk, and the jonin caught a few muttered phrases.

"Kaito, how could you do this to me! I thought we were friends and yet you left me this ticking time-bomb as a going-away present!" He lifted his head back up and stared at the ceiling as he continued. "When I see you in the afterlife, I'm going to beat the crap out of you!"

It was almost, ALMOST, enough to make his subordinate chuckle. He stopped himself, thankfully, but he couldn't help the tiny grin that threatened to expand. Till the ever-observant Hokage looked back at him, that is.

"There's nothing funny about this, you know."

Minato gulped, grin suddenly nowhere to be found. "Yes, sir."

Sarutobi sighed and asked, "Well, what have you learned about him so far?"

The Yellow Flash thought back for a moment, thinking of all the written conversations the boy had had with both himself and Inoichi. "You recall when I told you about what he said regarding the Valley of the End?" Yes, he recalled that. "Well, from what I can gather, not a single Uchiha has ever seen, heard, or had any contact with him whatsoever, and I even checked with the Hyuuga clan just to make sure. Not one person knows anything about him." The Third agreed that the news was interesting, but not necessarily all that surprising. "Also, I figured I'd take him to our training grounds yesterday to see what he can do. His neck is mostly healed, except for his voice (if it weren't for Rin's quick and efficient work, he'd never speak again at all), so I didn't think it'd be a problem. The rest of the team was already there, each practicing different techniques. I figured it'd be a good idea to see how familiar he was with jutsu. But, as usual, Obito just had to spruce things up."

"What did he do this time?" Sarutobi groaned.

"He turned the place into a fire hazard!" Minato was unable to help the irritation that laced his words. "He said he wanted to experiment with a new fire jutsu that he'd just invented and voila, nearly half the trees were turned into torches! I thought it was going to be the end of us all with the way he was shooting off those flames..." his voice drifted off for a moment.

"Let me guess; the new kid had a hand in your survival. Correct?"

"You have no idea. He reacted purely on instinct and shot a massive water dragon straight at the Uchiha without using a single hand sign. And to top it off, there wasn't even a puddle of water nearby for him to use, meaning it was all chakra-generated. That kid is powerful. While I'm grateful he was able to cool Obito off quickly, the evidence against him is getting thicker by the day. And yet, Inoichi assures me that he still can't remember who he is."

"I think I need an aspirin." He opened his desk to look for a bottle of the medicine, came across a bottle of something **else** instead, and poured himself a cup. Why not. "Please continue with the other things you have discovered."

"He has deadly accuracy with any weapon he throws. After that fireworks fiasco, I figured there was no need to ask him if he knew any ninjutsus. So we moved on to senbon. Five minutes later, every single target had a needle perfectly in its center. Then, somehow Obito got it into his head to yell, 'Make a design! Do a smiley face!' A few minutes later, each of the targets was grinning."

Sarutobi chuckled a little at that while the jonin in front of him sported a wry grin. He was used to the Uchiha's antics by now, but they were still amusing. Still, there was something else the man needed to know, so he continued.

"Goldie knows how he got cut and poisoned and it seemed to shake him up pretty badly. He told us that he doesn't want to remember what happened before if it was that bad. At this point, both Inoichi and I think he is repressing things on purpose. Whether or not it's because of the reason he gave us, we don't know."

Fearless Leader broke in. "And there's no way to be sure, thanks to that impressive mental barrier of his." The Kage turned his chair around and faced his window and was silent for several minutes as he watched his village, a gentle smile gradually taking over his tired face. "Do you see all those people out there, Minato-san? Each one of them has a story. How many do you think would change theirs if they could?"

The blonde was silent. He knew what the Hokage was asking. This could be an opportunity to help a young man out and possibly gain a powerful ally in the meantime. But there were also so many risks involved; was it worth it? Was it worth the risks for him to connect with a family he never knew, and if it turned out that the boy was an enemy, could he bring himself to kill his only known relative no matter how close they became?

As his hands clenched at his sides, he sad, "I'll give it some thought, Hokage-sama. Thank you for your audience today." Then he bowed and left.

It was time to meet up with his team and let them know what was going on with Goldie. And darn it! There had to be a better name to call him than THAT! It made the blue-eyed youth sound like a puppy!

As usual, the hyperactive Uchiha was the first to talk. "So, let me get this straight. He's powerful, a possible enemy, an amnesiac, has an impressive shield that protects his mind, lives at your house, and just _happens_ to be your never-before-seen nephew?"

Yeah, that pretty much covered it.

"No," the mask-covered Kakashi corrected. "You missed one other piece of information."

"And what's that?" challenged his self-proclaimed rival.

"We might have to kill him."

Oh. That. Count on the Hatake to make bad news worse. Anyway, now that that was brought to their attention... "We need to think of a name for him. 'Goldie' just doesn't cut it."

They thought for a moment. Rin, as always, had the most sensible suggestion. "How about we call him Aoi for his blue eyes? It's still a color, but it's also an actual name. What do you think?"

"NO!" There was only one person on the team who had a set of lungs like that. "Have you seen how much ramen that guy eats?? It's obvious that we should give him a name that has something to do with that. How about that book your sensei wrote? That awesome main character was named after ramen, wasn't he?"

He blinked. "You mean you want to call him Naruto?" Obito nodded. "Um, I know you mean well and all, but I seriously doubt he'd really want a name like that." The kid's face fell. Great. Another round at Ichiraku's.

Kakashi spoke in his usual emotionless voice, "I agree. Naruto is a stupid idea. Aoi is preferable over both that and Goldie." His teammate literally bristled at his idea being shot down like that but held his tongue. Rin was blushing. Thank goodness their newest member was with Inoichi at the moment. Who knows what would happen if he were present.

Minato shook his head. _Team dynamics from Hel--_

"Aoi Namikaze. Not bad, even if it's not as good as Naruto Namikaze," the Uchiha muttered grudgingly. The boy was putty when it came to Rin (and not much else).

"Good. Then it's settled. Let's head over to the training grounds now and see what we can do to repair them." Everyone got up from his living room floor (where they usually held team meetings) and headed out the door.

"Oh, and Obito?" The boy turned back. "No fire jutsus for two weeks." The other two chunin looked relieved.

* * *

_I said that things never quite turn out the way we hope they will, that I did what I had to do, that I don't regret the price I've had to pay, and that when I said not to mourn too much for me. Well, I meant it. I meant all of it. This isn't how any of us imagined things would turn out. We all thought we'd grow up together and then grow old together, not have us picked off one-by-one as time passed. It hurts and it's not fair. But that's how things are, and there isn't enough time in eternity for "what if's". The seal has gotten too weak for me to keep holding the Kyuubi back and we all know what that means. And the key that was supposed to strengthen it isn't helping anymore, either. Even I can't figure out exactly what he did, and I'm supposedly an expert. There was nothing that could have been done, believe me, and Kakashi, you should know better than anyone what this thing is capable of. We're talking about the most powerful demon human kind has ever seen. As a jonin ninja and future Hokage of the Hidden Leaf Village, it is my job that I keep you safe, even if it costs me my life. Remember what you said, Kakashi-sensei? Those who don't care for their teammates aren't even worthy of being called garbage, and I care for you all too much to let anything happen to you. Long ago, my father made a similar sacrifice for his precious ones, and I do the same for you with no regrets. I can't promise that there are no tears, but I can say that when I think of all of your futures filled with the freedom and peace the generation before could only dream of, I laugh in joy and find myself content. I hope that you will understand and can do the same. It's time for me to go now. I entrust my Will of Fire to you all. We will meet again some day, but not too soon, alright? Goodbye..._

Aoi shot up straight out of bed, panting and sweating profusely. That dream was no ordinary dream. He cursed in his head, still unable to talk, even though it had been more than a week. He didn't mind that so much anymore, though. Silence had become almost comforting. These dreams, however, were another story. They were memories, memories that he didn't want, especially since they could very easily be called waking nightmares.

He was young in this one, around four years old, and he was running from a group of teenagers that thought it would be fun to "see _It_ squirm." The man who had pulled him out of their grasp and into his home had seemed like a guardian angel at first. He'd fed him, let him get cleaned up, and given him a place to sleep, acting as the perfect host and friend. Until later that night, that is.

He shuddered at the images. Pushing them out of his head, he checked his **digital** alarm clock. 3 a.m. Ah, might as well put the time to use. Yesterday, he had discovered that he knew how to create shadow clones (which had caused no end of fuss and confusion over how he'd learned them in the first place) and had been briefed on their many uses and weaknesses. Kakashi thought they were dangerous. Aoi thought they were fun! A whole bunch of little "hims" running around causing havoc--I mean, having fun! What could be better than that? Besides, he had a new prank he wanted to play on Minato-sensei. Uncle or not, he was the youth's favorite target. Oh, yes, he loved shadow clones!

Another image popped its way into his mind: A whole line of clones shooting up out of water, covered in some weird-feeling red chakra. He fell of his bed as he gripped his skull in agony. Image after image flashed before his mind's eye. _No, no, NO!_ But these would not be pushed back, and he screamed as he "felt" a blade of electricity rip through his chest. Then, strange hands were grabbing him, touching him, and he screamed again, trying to move away, only to meet his attacker's eyes and see they were a bright blue. They weren't black like...his. They weren't cursed.

But Aoi didn't relax. He couldn't. The man was too close--too close! He crawled backwards until his back touched the wall, the world around him spinning. The blue-eyed man was saying something, but he couldn't understand it. Was this guy a threat? It'd be better not to stay and find out. The last time he had stayed, the one with green eyes had--

"Aoi! Aoi, it's ok. It's just me. You're ok, you're ok." His mind had suddenly started comprehending sounds again, and with that calming voice, the boy's breathing slowed.

"Minato-sensei?" he called weakly.

"Yeah, kid, it's me." He moved to touch him and Aoi jerked back.

"Don't!" His teacher moved away quickly. The adrenaline rush had left the youth shaking and panting, but at least he was out of the nightmares again.

His teacher smiled. "Hey, you got your voice back. I guess you don't need to carry around that chalkboard all day anymore, huh? Maybe we can take the team out later and celebrate at--"

"He had green eyes." Aoi's voice was barely above a whisper.

The older blonde's head jerked up at that. "What?"

"The man. He called me a monster, said that demon-boys couldn't do anything about it. Couldn't stop him." He felt dead. Not tired. Just dead. Limply, he fell over, Minato barely having time to catch him, and fell back asleep into another deep dream. This one, however, was different.

He opened his eyes to find himself in total darkness. Even so, he could see his own body, as though it glowed in the dark. Where was he? How did he get here?

"You're being very stubborn, Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze. I figured it was time to give you a little push, so to speak."

The blonde twisted from side to side, desperate to meet this person who had spoken a name that was all too familiar. "Who are you and why did you call me that?"

The being sighed. "Because it's your name, Naruto, the name your father gave you when you were born."

"My father. You mean Minato's half-brother?" He had the sinking feeling that he was missing something important.

"No, I mean Minato himself."

Shocked, the boy could do nothing but stare at...well, nothing, as his former self came back to him full-force with all the experiences he had been so desperate to suppress. But there was no pain this time, no resistance. After awhile, he blinked. "Ayu. It's you."

The man was ecstatic. "Yup! It's me! I'm glad you're back. Things are going to start to heat up now, and if you want to make a difference, you're going to have to get a move on."

"Right. But I have a few questions I'd like to ask you, if you don't mind, Sir."

"Ask away."

"Why did I lose my memories like that? It doesn't make any sense. I mean, did I land on my head or something?"

He couldn't see Ayu, but he had a feeling that the man was shaking his head in amusement. "No, I did that. Couldn't have them figuring you out, now, could we? It would have resulted in questions that should not be asked. Inoichi Yamanaka was NOT happy with the results."

Naruto couldn't help but laugh. The man had never liked him back in his own time and had done everything short of spitting in his face to show his disrespect, but here, Ino's father was treating him like an actual person. And all it took was a little failed interrogation attempt.

"Ok, second question. Did I die?"

"Yes."

Hm. Short, simple, and straight to the point. "Then, does that mean you're dead, too? I mean, you did say that you had given your life, right? So, are you, um, a ghost?" His voice shook slightly at that last word. Naruto **hated** ghosts.

But Ayu just laughed. "Both yes and no, I'm afraid, but that is the best answer I will give you for now."

"Awww...well, then, how come I'm back in my younger body?"

"That, Naruto, is for you to figure out. It's time for you to wake up." And with that, the dark space disappeared, replaced by a nice, bright light...

...THAT WAS BURNING A HOLE THROUGH HIS CORNEAS!! "Hey, what's the big idea?" he asked irritably.

"Aoi? Aoi, THANK GOODNESS! You had us all worried sick!" That voice...it was so annoying. There's only one person it could be.

"Obito." The boy leaned closer to listen. "Shut up and turn off that stupid flashlight before I shove it down your throat."

He leaped back in surprise. "You can talk now?!" _You just noticed, kid?_

Naruto sighed. "Yeah. I got my voice back just a little bit ago. Didn't Minato-sensei tell you? No? Then what are you doing here in my room and where is he?"

"Oh, um, he said you were tired and needed to rest. Then, he left me here to keep an eye on you while they left to go train. They're always leaving me behind..." he finished with a presumably dejected mutter and pout.

"Drop the act. I'm not buying you any ramen." The blonde had to laugh as he saw Obito's chin drop in shock. Apparently, this was the first time his bluff had ever been called.

"Hmph! I knew I never liked you, you meanie! And to think I stood up for you when they decided to give you that stupid name." _Good actor,_ thought Naruto wryly as he watched the chunin shake his head in disappointment and walk towards the hall. _Wait a minute..._

"What are you talking about?"

The boy stopped and tossed his answer over his shoulder. "Since you like ramen so much, I suggested we call you Naruto. But nooooo, they wanted the color blue. Stuck-up, self-absorbed, grey-haired..." his voice faded as Obito continued walking down the hall. "Aoi," however, was now the shocked one.

That kid was a LOT smarter than he seemed. Either that, or just really lucky. But if things worked out, he could actually use his real name here! _Yes!_ Things were looking up. Finally!

He got up out of bed, hurriedly threw some clothes on, and followed Obito to the training grounds, determined to make up for lost time.

* * *

I loved writing this chapter. Needless to say, Minato came to the wrong conclusion regarding that DNA test, but it's going to come in very handy for his "nephew," so no harm done. Now that Naruto has his memories back, what will he do with his knowledge and strength?

By the way, in this story, Kakashi and the others are around 12 years old, so it's an entire year before the incident that gave him his sharingan takes place.

Hope you all enjoyed and I'll try to have another chapter up by tomorrow or the next day :)


	6. Shelter EDIT

(Standard disclaimer applies)

Ok, apparently I really, really like writing this story, because I couldn't even wait till tomorrow to upload it. Enjoy!

**Update: I have included a new scene at the end of this chapter; aside from that, not too much has been edited. Mostly, things have been clarified and made more reasonable.**

* * *

Rin's mouth was hanging open. Minato's mouth was hanging open. Obito's mouth was hanging open. Kakashi...still had a mask on, but he looked pretty surprised, too.

Their new teammate was incredible.

He'd shown up about the same time as their prank-pulling Uchiha and had promptly announced his preference for the name Naruto. The three of them had looked at each other, wondering what sort of blackmail he had on the blonde. Had to be something good to pull that off. But it was his choice...

Then, Naruto had told them he'd remembered some things about his life-specifically jutsu. Minato insisted on a demonstration.

"Taijutsu first," he'd said. The evil grin on his nephew's face should have told them something was up. However, it looked like she was the only one who'd caught it.

"Will do, Minato-sensei!"

Now, they all stood off to one side as they watched him fight with one of his clones using a style none of them had ever seen before. And it was ridiculous, to say the least. It was like he'd utilized every movement known to mankind, even using various kinds of dancing and a combination of several types martial arts, including what seemed like his own variation of the Hyuuga's Gentle Fist (although his fist was not nearly so "gentle"). Rin seriously doubted the strange-looking and random concoction would work for anyone but the blonde powerhouse.

He'd be spinning on two hands one moment, trying to punch the clone in the knee the next, and then blocking its strikes from hitting not his tenketsu, but rather various pressure points and vital organs. It was interesting to note that neither the clone nor the real deal ever got a single hit in.

"Holy sh-" She quickly put her hand over the Uchiha's mouth, but that didn't mean she disagreed. Their new teammate was _easily_ Jonin level in taijutsu.

Minato's voice was weak as he asked his next question. "Is that all you remembered?"

Everyone saw the grin this time as Naruto shook his head; sweat started forming on their teacher's brow. "No, that was just taijutsu. Would you like to see some ninjutsu?"

Obito was thrilled at the prospect. "YEAAAAH!" The others were scared but nodded anyway out of curiosity. What else could the blonde do?

"Ok, this one was really hard to learn. It took me months of using shadow clones to get the basics because it combines two elements, but it was worth it."

Standing next to his shadow clone, he held out one of his hands, palm facing the trunk of a large tree, and began channeling chakra through it. She looked closely as what appeared to be a small ball of water formed in his palm. Then, his clone placed both of its hands on the backs of the original's, and as soon as their hands touched, a massive stream of spinning water shot out and drilled a hole through the wood...and any other objects behind it for several meters. It had looked like a condensed version of a tornado. And the hole was surprisingly small, meaning that it was an intense, focused attack and could probably be expanded as needed.

And he had done it without any hand signs whatsoever. Or any water nearby. Without breaking a sweat.

Kakashi was the first to regain his voice, although it was a little shaky. "May I ask how you did that?"

"Sure!" he replied with a wide smile. "I just combined the two elements of wind and water, creating what essentially amounts to a typhoon. It takes too much concentration to do without a clone, though, but it doesn't take up as much chakra as you'd think, because the wind gives it more than enough power to make up for it. But it sure was difficult to get the aim down. And the first few times I tried it, I ended up with horrible burns on the back of my hand."

That made sense, considering he was literally shooting chakra through his own body. "How'd you get the water to spin like that?" she asked.

"Oh, that? I don't send the wind shooting straight through the water; I sort of combine the two sideways... Kind of complicated to explain. Anyway, that's how the thing spins like that."

Sensei had one more question to ask. "Did you create that technique?"

The blonde boy thought about it for a moment. "Not exactly. A friend showed me something similar and I just adjusted it a bit." His face had gone to happy-as-a-clam, to contemplative, and finally to sad, all in the space of ten seconds. Rin got the very distinct impression that he was hiding something, something important.

"What about that AWESOME taijutsu!"

"Obito, you don't have to yell. That one's a mash of just about everything I've ever seen that works, plus some of my own inventions. I like to use it because it's impossible for anyone to copy or steal it, but also because it's extremely unpredictable, making it effective against even the toughest opponents. You wouldn't believe the amount of butts I've had to kick..."

Rin caught a hidden meaning behind his words; he wasn't talking about just any opponent. _Can't be copied, eh? And it's unpredictable...Aoi-I mean, Naruto, you invented this to use against the Uchiha clan, didn't you? Or was that just a bonus?_

Minato-sensei was looking more disturbed by the moment; it wasn't hard to see why. If his nephew ended up being a traitor, he'd be very, very difficult to take down. Unless...

"Naruto, how are you on genjutsu?" Rin asked.

He rubbed the back of his head and laughed a little. "Well, to put it simply, I suck. I know how to dispel them alright-well enough to save my tail, if necessary-but I've never learned to create a single one. Even my transformation technique isn't an actual genjutsu."

Her brow creased in confusion. Kakashi spoke up before she could. "What do you mean? If that's the case, then how can you call it a transformation?"

"Well, for one thing, it's like the difference between a regular clone and a shadow clone. One is an image and nothing more; the other is solid and can be touched and felt as well as seen. That's exactly the difference between my transformation and the regular type."

At that statement, everyone was practically bug-eyed. They wanted to see for themselves. They wanted this guy to PROVE it.

Big mistake.

One tall, nude, blonde woman stood before them with nothing but little wisps of smoke covering her...assets. Rin looked at her sensei in horror to get him to make "her" go away, but he was having his own problems trying to deal with sudden dizziness from loss of blood. Kakashi wasn't any better. Obito, on the other hand...

...was on the ground, rolling as he clutched his stomach and _laughed._ "Oh, boy, you and Jiraiya-sama are gonna get along GREAT!" he was saying. Rin had to wonder why he was the only one not bothered by "her."

The "female" just sighed and said (in Naruto's voice, surprisingly), "Sorry, I forgot to add clothes." POOF! "There! Is that better?" The "girl" was now wearing an exact replica of Rin's outfit, which included a black, form-fitting tank top with a pink vest covering it and black, jonin-style pants.

_How the heck did he do that? But at least those two perverts over there have stopped their nosebleeds._ She watched as "the other woman" walked over to Obito and lifted him up by his collar. "See? Solid, not an illusion, or else I couldn't have touched him." (And now the voice was distinctly feminine. Not bad.)

After a certain boy's cries of "TEACH ME, TEACH ME!" had died down, the now-male version of Naruto explained the basics.

"Why would you create such a ridiculous jutsu in the first place?" Ah, Kakashi. Rin loved him, but he was little more than a jerk 90% of the time, even to her.

But the blonde looked away and didn't answer for awhile. When he did, it was almost enough to make her cry.

"I was an orphan. No family, no friends, just a few people who treated me like a charity case. Aside from those few, the people of the village had either pretended I didn't exist or just outright hated me. The more time that passed, the more people ignored me. At first, I thought that was a good thing, but after awhile... You might not understand when I say this, but negative attention is better than no attention at all, especially for someone with ADHD, such as myself. I had to do something with all that energy, but since there wasn't anyone willing to teach me anything, I was forced to watch and learn. By doing that, I saw that most of the men in the village were perverts, and what better way to get back at them than to use the technique they refused to teach me?" He paused and smirked. "You wouldn't believe how many men filled the hospital beds the day after I tried it out for the first time."

"I'm...sorry," said Minato-sensei hesitantly. Rin understood why. How could a person apologize to his nephew for not being there when the man had never even known of his existence in the first place?

But the nephew just brushed it off. "Nah, forget it. After awhile, I found some people who genuinely cared about me and helped train and took care of me. What's more, they kept me safe. No one had ever really done that before. The village leader had tried, but politics always got in the way. In the end, all he could really do was assign a few people as guards, but they didn't really do their jobs..." His voice had trailed off at the end, leaving Rin to wonder what people had done to him over the years and if that was why he had ended up in Konoha. It didn't explain how, of course, but it meant there was a chance that he was an ally rather than an enemy. Maybe, like herself, he had been in need of a better home.

"What happened to your parents?" Kakashi surprised them all by asking the question they'd all been thinking. _Less icy today, I see. That's good._

"They both died the day I was born. Correction: one died and the other was killed. Or, if you want to be technical about it, they were **both** killed." The dark and somewhat bitter tone indicated that they'd asked the blonde enough questions for the day, and as though they had reached a silent agreement, the three chunin left the two relatives alone.

Apparently, he remembered more than just jutsu. They had a lot to talk about.

* * *

Naruto stared at his dad. This was going to be interesting. He probably had some questions about last night. Not good. Not good at all. He'd have to be extremely careful about what he told his "uncle." Thankfully, he had a story in mind.

"What you said last night." _Geez, no wonder Obito can get you to buy him ramen all the time. Predictable!_ "You said something about a man with green eyes. What did he do to you?"

As soon as he had mentioned the eyes, Naruto had stilled. Just because he'd been expecting it didn't mean it wasn't uncomfortable to talk about. This particular question was...less than appealing. He looked away.

"Come on, Naruto, talk to me. I mean, you were screaming in a way I've never heard anyone scream before. You didn't even recognize me for several minutes. And on top of that, you've also said that the village hated you and wouldn't lift a finger to help. I want to know...what did they do to you?"

The boy knew he wasn't trying to be nosy and only wanted to help, to know more about his life, why he had left his former home, and how he'd managed to pop up there. If Naruto had been in his place, he would have wanted to know, too. He'd have asked the same questions (albeit a bit more loudly and obnoxiously). Plus, he knew the rules; no one had been able to question him when he'd had amnesia. Now that he'd remembered, he was fair game, and Minato was doubtless trying to make it easier on him.

But how much easier would it be when he would be forced to meet up with Inoichi and maybe even his apprentice, Ibiki? As the next-in-line Hokage, he'd had significant training from the both of them in the future, so he could probably withstand most of their tactics-even torture, if it came to it-but he wasn't so sure about the mind probes of Ino's father. He'd really have to come up with a fancy defense for that one. What a pain. Maybe he shouldn't have revealed his newfound memories so soon, but it was too late now.

So be it. "Have you ever lived on the streets, Sensei?" Minato shook his head and Naruto closed his eyes. There was no way he could get through this if he had to look at him. "Well, I have. I was kicked out of the orphanage when I was about three or four, I think. Couldn't really say. But kids that young who live on the streets...my God. They're not safe from anything-wind, rain, freezing cold, blazing heat, food poisoning, starvation, bullies, thieves, gangs, killers-they're out in the open 24/7. Those that survive all of that usually succumb to predators, both animal and...human. I mean, it's not like a little four-year-old can really do anything about it, is there. That jutsu of mine that I just showed you? It wasn't purely for attention; I just said it was for the rest of the team's sake. It also just happened to be the best defense I had. You might find it perverted and foolish, but it saved my life more than once, which is more than I can say for those so-called guards! Did you know they'd actually _lead_ people to me? That sometimes they'd even stay to _watch_? Did you know that the first time I was forced to kill another person was because a woman sicced her daughter on me with a kitchen knife!"

Naruto could remember _that_ as clear as day; he'd just run from the girl, but it did little good. A few minutes of panic later, and he found his hand on the knife now lodged in her throat. It was one of the most gruesome things he'd ever seen, not to mention something he'd completely blocked out after the fact. How had he escaped punishment? Did the Council even know about it? Those were questions he'd probably never be able to answer. It hadn't been till he was twenty and had taken a little trip down memory lane that it had come back with such haunting clarity. He looked up at this, expecting to see shame and disgust on his father's face.

What he saw was rage, absolute, almost blinding rage. Naruto found himself scooting back. He'd said far too much. When his father spoke, it sounded more animal than human.

"Who was it."

It was pretty obvious that he wanted to kill whomever had harmed his "nephew." Yeah, that sounded good in theory, but not in reality. Technically, they hadn't done anything yet. Still, it had the unfortunate result of reminding the blonde that, had his father been there, things might have been very different for him growing up. It was on his "List of Things to Change."

"You don't have to worry about it. I left that life behind for a reason, and there's not a snowball's chance in Hell of me ever going back." He stood up, figuring now was as good a time as any to make his exit before he said anything else. "I want to stay here, Minato-sensei. You're the only family I have, and I'm not giving you up. Even if you one day decided to kill me, I'd still be staying." And with that, Naruto Uzumaki disappeared from the world forever, and Naruto Namikaze took his place.

As he walked away, though, he wondered...how exactly would he live once his younger self was born? Yeah, that might be just a little complicated. But he'd be able to work it out eventually, right?

And hey, if nothing else, he could teach the little tike the Sexy Jutsu! Yeah!

* * *

Minato needed to talk to someone, and he needed to talk to someone NOW. What his nephew had just told him was horrifying, to say the least. Not to mention humbling. All of that and he was still cheerful. Happy, even. Still, he could barely hold back the contents of his stomach after news like that.

He stood up and headed to a familiar apartment complex, knocked on the door, and waited. And waited. And **waited.** He banged impatiently and did not jump back in surprise when a gorgeous, red-headed woman opened the door suddenly.

"WHAT!" Then she saw _him_ and her eyes narrowed. "Well, well, if it isn't Mr. 'I've got better things to do than to see my friends.' What do you want?"

Minato winced. He deserved that. He'd been avoiding her for months. But still, he was desperate.

"Kushina, I need your help." He watched as one eyebrow arched in irony. "Please, I'm begging you."

His emotions must have shown on his face, because her eyes softened as she opened the door for him. "Alright, but make it snappy. I've got somewhere to be."

The two would talk hours into the night, his frustration with his inability to help his relative fading as Kushina's no-nonsense, blunt manner eased his heart. Minato may not have been able to be there for him then, but he would let nothing stand in his way of being there now.

* * *

Naruto sat on the floor of his room. Now that he was here, he might as well make the best of the situation. _But how to go about it? It was so awesome before! How could anything ever compare now?_ he thought to himself as he stared at the paper before him.

_She_ would approve-he knew that immediately. Still, there was something very distinct missing...lacking...and he didn't like it. No, he didn't like it at ALL. _On the one hand are all the pros,_ his mind reasoned as it looked at the words on the left half of the paper. _On the other hand, however, are all the cons,_ the teen continued as he looked at the other half. _As much as I hate to admit it, the pros definitely outweigh the cons._

Finally, and after much deliberation, Naruto sighed, rolled his eyes, and stood to his feet. He had come to an important, life-altering decision.

He wouldn't wear orange on ninja missions...

...mostly.

Actually, he and Hinata had long ago created their own family symbol, complete with the Uzumaki swirl and an altered version of the Hyuuga's markings, and (while he couldn't use some of the designs for obvious reasons) Naruto had come up with something he intended to wear to remind himself of what he was fighting for. Now, to put it on a jacket...

After a bit more planning and drawing, the blonde left the apartment again to head to a clothing store Minato had already taken him to once. He was pretty sure they could personalize the outfits, and his father had given him a little cash for ramen (as in, enough for 25 or so bowls), so there should be enough to spare.

He approached the woman at the counter, trying very hard not to stare at the brown-haired woman who looked shockingly similar to Tenten from his own time. _Her mother, I bet!_ And just like her daughter, the woman had a sweet smile on her face...and an obvious love for weapons.

A somewhat stylized and clearly dangerous dagger hung on a chain around her neck, a green and golden bird with more than one tail-each one seeming to wrap around the dagger many times-decorating the sheathe. The knife itself was small, perhaps five inches long and curved with a handle that seemed to be encrusted in emeralds and small, yellow stones that he couldn't identify. All things considered, it was an exquisite, and definitely expensive, object.

_Huh. Never would've guessed Tenten's family to be loaded, but then again, how else would she be able to afford all those weapons of hers? Still, I never did see her with that one in particular. Wonder what happened to it..._

But he had time to find the answers to those questions later. Right now, however, he had a self-imposed mission: Get nice clothes.

"Hi, ma'am! I was wondering if you could help me a bit," Naruto said with his biggest I'm-a-harmless-and-happy-idiot smile. It was very useful for putting people at ease. Besides, it was somewhat true.

She smiled back. "Well, just let me know what you're looking for and I'll see what I can do."

"Uh, well, I was kinda wondering if you could personalize a jacket for me."

"Oh, sure! We do that for shinobi all the time! No problem! Just bring your clothing by or pick it out here and we'll make it look however you want," she finished, cheerfully.

Just as he'd thought. No problem! "Great! Then I'll go look for one while I'm here!" Naruto turned to walk away and then paused before turning back around. There was one more thing that he was curious about. "Um...by the way, I was kinda curious about that dagger you have there. What bird is that?"

"Huh?" she replied, confused for a brief moment. "Oh! You mean this? It's a phoenix, my father's clan's symbol."

"Eh? But I thought the phoenix was all red and fiery. Never really heard of a green and golden one before."

But Tenten's mother just gave a small chuckle. "It can be either, really. Some myths even paint it blue, but I like this one the best; nothing says renewal better than the color of leaves in the Spring."

She had a point there, and he was about to tell her so before she interrupted his thoughts.

"You know, in many ways, it's the perfect symbol for the village Hidden in the Leaves. Just like the phoenix, from the ashes of the fire, a legend emerges. That's what my clan believed when we joined the Senju and Uchiha in building this place. And that's what my mother's father believed, as well. One day, I hope to pass this dagger and the Will of Fire on to a child of my own..." A dreamy, wistful expression crossed her face at this, and Naruto couldn't hold back his most sincere, sun-shiny grin.

The design for his wardrobe had just been changed.

By the end of the week, his new outfit would be ready, complete with black, jonin-style pants; a dark blue, chakra-reinforced, sleeveless turtleneck (to hide the scar from cutting his own throat); and a black jacket that could almost be taken as a trench coat. And on the back of said jacket was his new symbol: a green and golden phoenix with twelve tails rising out of a fire of nine tongues of red and orange flames, and in its beak, a sprig of lavender flowers rested.

It was, in a word, perfect.

One day, the world would hear and speak of the legend that would become the Rising Phoenix.

But first, Naruto really needed his daily-if not hourly-ramen fix. He had to keep his girlish figure, after all.

* * *

Well, what'd you think? The chapter's not very long, but I think the action more than makes up for it. Anyway, here's Kushina! And why has Minato been avoiding her, anyway? (All the women are probably thinking "Men!")

Not the most cheerful of chapters, was it? But this is some of what happens to children who grow up on the streets alone. Maybe not quite that badly, of course, thank God.

Anyhow, thank you so much for all the reviews and I'm thrilled you like the story!

**Update: I added a bit, as you can obviously tell :) One major reason for that was my lack of descriptions of characters and places. I guess a reason for that would be my focus on the psychological characteristics of, well, characters rather than the physical. But both are equally important, no? By the way, I have very little artistic ability, but if someone wants to make an artist's rendition of that symbol on the back of Naruto's jacket, that'd be awesome (hint, hint lol).**

**(On that note, if you were wondering about the symbolism, the twelve tails represent the Konoha 12-Rookie 9 plus Team Gai- while the lavender represents Hinata specifically, and maybe the Hyuuga clan as a whole, if you want to stretch it a bit. The nine tongues of flame obviously refer to the Kyuubi and perhaps even Naruto himself, while the phoenix represents the entirety of the Hidden Leaf Village. Kinda neat, huh?)**


	7. Why So Curious?

The next chapter is up! I tried to make it longer this time, and I also wanted to give you a little background information on Naruto. Well, his "adapted" version, anyway.

I'm so grateful for all the reviews I've been getting! Thank you so much!

Enjoy! (Standard disclaimer applies...as usual)

* * *

Another session with the boy wonder. _Great,_ Inoichi thought._ The kid may not be a genius, but he sure can keep a secret._ Now that he was over his bout with amnesia, it should have been easy to get all the answers he wanted from this 13-year-old, but it was like trying to kill a tiger with a feather--there'd be a reaction, alright, but not one he was interested in receiving! _So much for Konoha's top interrogation specialist._

Maybe he'd let Ibiki try his hand at him. He was getting awfully skilled and had requested something more "challenging" to do. Yeah, that sounded like a great idea! The kid would be off his hands finally and he could relax, drink a nice cup of hot tea, avoid his irate girlfriend--

"INOICHIIIII!!!!"

--or not. Naruto, his precious guest who was sitting on _his_ couch eating _his_ cookies, snickered. Inoichi felt his eyebrow twitch.

"Aimi, just the girl I was hoping to see. Here, I'd like to introduce you to--" Once again, she'd interrupted him, but with a fist instead of her voice. Another black eye and more gossip material for the precious little ANBU. They'd nicknamed him "Mr. Tulips" and they were going to pay.

"Shut up!" the white-haired woman yelled, pale eyes flashing. "I woke up this morning and guess what I found when I went to get dressed. Guess!"

"Um, I don't know. Mice?"

"Mice," Aimi repeated evenly. "And did the 'mice' do this, by any chance?" She held up a bra with holes right in the middle, right where...He swallowed. _This is bad. Really, really bad._

Naruto had, by this time, decided that his hands needed a lot of attention.

"Look, I know what you're probably thinking, and I swear I--"

His volatile girlfriend _tsk'd._ "Inoichi-kun, you know better than to swear." _Uh-oh. She said that waaaay too sweetly._

"Buttercup, I had nothing to do with this! I would never cut up your clothes like that!" _Ok, so that's a fib, but I'm not about to admit anything._

A quiet voice snickered again. "Tulips and Buttercups, how sweet." They both turned and looked at him, completely forgetting their little "tiff." A look of appreciation and surprise was on her face; but his eyebrows were twitching a mile a minute.

"Naruto, was it?" _Nod._ "Well, I'm very pleased to meet you. I'm Aimi, his girlfriend...for now."

"Yeah, kid, would you mind leaving? The young lady and I were having a conversation, and you look like you're enjoying it a lot more than you should."

The smirk never left the young blonde's face. "Aww, how come? Woes in the land of bliss?"

_THAT DOES IT! _Ten seconds later, Naruto found himself thrown unceremoniously on the front step, nursing a bruised backside encountering the neighbors' curious stares. The Yamanaka hoped he'd learned his lesson as he stepped back in his home, locking the doors behind him.

"Aren't you the charming host, Tulips."

He groaned out loud but smiled to himself. While it was true that he was terrified of his girlfriend and could get very angry at some of the stunts she pulled, he had to admit that those very things were also why he loved her so much. The last thing Inoichi needed in his life was one more predictable and boring person, and if there was one thing he could say about Aimi, it's that she never failed to keep him on his toes.

And if he had to occasionally cut up her bras to get her attention, so be it. Unfortunately, this time it really had been someone else.

_Doesn't mean I can't reap the rewards,_ he thought as she began stalking closer and closer and closer...

* * *

_La-la la-la la la la!_ Obito hummed to himself as he skipped down the lane to Ichiraku's. Sure, Naruto had seen straight through him, but Sensei was another story entirely. _Free food!_

He supposed he'd get pork, like always. Just the thought of the combination of noodles cooked to perfection, broth that was perfectly smooth, meat that was tender and practically bursting with flavor, and all the wonderful toppings he could eat was almost too much to bear. The young boy trembled in excitement as he walked into the restaurant and...

...Ran right into the junior Namikaze. He immediately put his nose in the air. They weren't on speaking terms right now, thank you very much. Not after that prank the blonde had pulled.

It wasn't fair! They were fellow Prank Masters! He shouldn't have been one of his targets! No fair, no fair, no fair! And that one had been especially cruel. Obito had stepped out of the shower yesterday morning to find that his shampoo had been filled with hair coloring. **White** hair coloring, which, when it combined with his naturally black hair, turned it **grey**.

He'd had to go to a team practice looking like some loser from Kakashi's fan club! No, the blonde could not be forgiven. Not for that.

Of course, that didn't mean the Uchiha wouldn't seek revenge. He cackled evilly to himself. He and his new rival would soon be at war, the likes of which never before seen in this village. Muwahahahaha! They just had to make sure Kushina didn't get in the middle of it. Normally, she kept to her best friends (like Aimi), but if word got out about this, well, he and Naruto would be in trouble. She was _that_ good.

It took him all of two seconds for all of that to run through his mind as he sat as far away as possible from his nemesis.

Just one little problem. Something was nagging at the back of his head, a question he was desperate to ask his older teammate. He wanted answers, darn it!...but he'd have to actually talk to the backstabber in order to get them.

Not happening.

No way.

Not a chance.

Never.

.....

.....

_Gahhh!...fine._

"Hey, Naruto," he said through clinched teeth. His pride could only take so much, after all.

But the other boy didn't even turn to look at him as he answered. "Yeah? What do you want?"

"How'd you do all those jutsus without using any hand signs?"

His teammate went still for a moment as he thought. "Practice."

"...Not gonna tell me, are you."

"Nope. Besides, you'll figure it out as you go." _That's a lie, if I've ever heard one. I've been around ninjas my whole life, and all of them use signs. You liar..._but he was forming a plan in revenge already for both that and the hair.

"Naruto, you know you and I are two of the top pranksters in this village, right?"

The boy nodded.

"Well, if you want to work together, I have the perfect target in mind, but in order to do it, I'll have to learn that Shadow Clone thingy of yours. What do you say?"

The boy nodded again. _Perfect! And so the fun begins._ Kushina was going to **kill** the blonde! But why stop there? He wanted more ramen.

"Hey, Naruto?"

"Hm?"

"Would you buy me another bowl of ramen, please?" _Use the puppy-dog eyes, use the puppy-dog eyes._

"Eh. Sure. Here," he said as he tossed down some money. Then he left the younger ninja all by himself.

_Soon, the world will be mine!!! Yay! Ok, maybe not the world, but I can at least hand Naruto's butt to him on a platter and get Kushina back for drawing fairies and rainbows on my favorite pair of shoes! Step One: Complete._

* * *

Naruto knew the kid was up to something. After all, one good prank deserved another, and his had been especially priceless. _Oh, man, Kakashi's face! Don't think I'll ever be able to forget that!_

Of course, there were other things about his former/future sensei. The man had finally settled down with some girlfriend he'd managed to keep secret from almost everyone and he'd never seemed happier. _Emi, I think her name was. She'd be around now, in fact, but I haven't seen her anywhere, and that's a girl that would definitely stand out._ That was the day he'd finally taken down that stupid mask and let everyone there see his face, which was just the members of his team and the Hokage. After that, the mask had gone right back up. He'd all but retired after that, taking command of ANBU secretly and doing one heck of a fine job. That Kakashi had always been one of his most trusted advisors.

This Kakashi was a different story. Whereas his future self was/would be an S-class ninja, this one was a class-A jerk. The good part about that was that he was far more fun to play with this way.

Naruto had to smile when he remembered his latest prank on Mr. Sociable. A little glow-in-the-dark hair color had managed to find its way into his shampoo (much like Obito's, strangely), and he'd heard a very distinctive scream later that night after Minato had let them all go home from practice. Ah, yes! Life was good!

As he continued to head to Minato's house, he wondered what was going to happen today. He'd gotten carried away with his story-telling yesterday and didn't know what to expect. At least his "uncle" hadn't told Inoichi about it yet or he wouldn't have gotten away that easily. And none of what he said had been a lie.

Having a physical, female form to change into when necessary had stopped more than one overzealous shinobi from attacking him. It even worked on his two ANBU guards, who usually passed out for a while due to blood loss. Too bad they'd always find him again later.

Ah, well, that was all in the past...sort of. No use dwelling on it now. Besides, there wasn't enough time for all that junk. He only had a short time in which to get ready for things that would be happening soon, namely the Kyuubi attack and Obito's death. Could he stop the demon? Maybe. He'd gotten pretty powerful and it was only because he wanted to spend more time with his family that he hadn't been made Hokage as soon as he'd turned 18. But to be honest, all his efforts would probably only slow the thing down for awhile.

And Obito...his death had had a profound and immeasurable impact on Kakashi. Without that sacrifice, his sensei might never have learned his lesson. Could he stop the young Uchiha's death? Yes. _Should_ he? Naruto wasn't just here to play games, and even though he liked the kid, that didn't mean he should save his life. _What am I supposed to do?_

It was in this state of mind that he entered the house and completely missed seeing the three people sitting in the living room waiting for him. As he walked by, heading to his bedroom where he fully intended to take a long nap, one figure spoke up.

"So you're the nephew, huh? Looks more like your twin, Minato!" Naruto froze in his steps. _No, it couldn't be...but he's still alive in this time, so is it possible?_

He carefully composed his face and turned, seeing his godfather, had to force himself not to run to the man, hug him, and cry for all he was worth.

No emotion showed, however. "Yeah, what of it? Who are you two, anyway?"

The Sannin just smiled. "Allow me to introduce myself! From the North to the--"

Not wanting to hear his long-winded rendition and embarrassing display, he interrupted. "You're Jiraiya, aren't you?" He waited as surprise registered on all their faces before he continued. "From what I hear, you're quite the pervert, constantly looking in women's baths and all that. Kind of humiliating, considering the fact that you're supposedly one of the most powerful ninja in the world. Sad, really." Naruto struggled not to laugh at the man's shock, which lasted for about two seconds.

"You're pretty well-informed for someone who supposedly just regained his memory." The sage's tone was friendly enough, but his eyes had suddenly grown suspicious.

The boy sighed. _Open mouth, insert foot._ "Not too long ago, I had a little episode where it all came back rather quickly and brutally. Ask Minato-sensei if you don't believe me." It was a partial lie, but he really didn't have much choice in the matter. What was he supposed to do, TELL them he'd killed himself in the future and gotten brought back to life in the past? AND that Minato wasn't his uncle but his father instead? Oh yeah, that'd go over really well. He'd have a very comfortable room with padded walls in no time.

His father finally broke in at that. "Yeah, he's telling the truth, and it was...brutal, as he said. Still, Jiraiya-sensei has a point, too. So far, you've shown some pretty impressive jutsus that no one I know has ever seen or heard of, you won't tell us very much about yourself aside from that horror story I heard yesterday, and I get the impression that you know far more about this village and the people in it than anyone in your position should. Am I right so far?"

Naruto was confused. "What makes you think I know so much about the village?" There was no point in denying the rest.

"We've had people carefully and constantly monitoring you wherever you've gone. Until yesterday, there was nothing suspicious in your actions. You stayed here or went to the training grounds with the team unless you were meeting with Yamanaka-san. Besides the trips to Ichiraku's and that store with the gag gifts, you have been nowhere else. And yet, after leaving the training grounds yesterday, you walked to the academy, then to the library, followed by a trip to a wooden bridge built only two weeks ago. Not once did you hesitate or get lost. You were even able to avoid the worst areas. Care to explain?"

There was no getting past the uncomfortable looks he was getting now. _Hmmm...time to wing it._

"What do you want to know, exactly?"

Jiraiya spoke next. "Kid, I've done some checking around, and not one person on this planet besides the ones in this village has ever seen or heard of you. As far as anyone can tell, you don't exist. Except for the fact that your DNA shows that you have family here--which you couldn't possibly have known about, seeing as how your parents died the day you were born and that they were not likely to have known, anyway--we're having trouble coming up with reasons for you being here. Reasons that **don't **include spying, that is. As for what answers we're looking for, let's start with your real name."

The teenager rolled his eyes in frustration. "This IS my name. Believe it or not, my name is actually Naruto and always has been since the day I was born; how in the world Obito came up with it is beyond me, but the hedgehog was right on the mark. As for my last name, that's something I was never told, until I'd left the village, that is." _Yeah, left and came back to beat the snot out of Pain._ "Turns out that my dad had a few friends who decided to teach me some skills. Believe it or not, I couldn't do most of the basic jutsus, but when it came to A- and B-ranks, I caught on to those almost immediately." He smiled for a moment, remembering some of Iruka-sensei's facial expressions when looking at his pathetic excuses for clones. "That's why I can do Shadow Clones. To this day, I have never yet been able to produce a half-decent regular one. That's how I got so strong so quickly. I've really only had maybe three years of formal training."

Their jaws dropped. "Oh, plus the fact that I can, well, _could_ make over a thousand shadow clones at once to help with my training. Thanks to that ability, I must have gotten about ten years' worth of growth. Hm." He tilted his head, thinking about it.

"Ok, so that explains your abilities and maybe even your name. But that doesn't tell us about your reasons for being here." Man, his old sensei was one persistent little booger! _Pick, pick, pick!_

It was time to serve the biggest load of horse manure he'd ever been forced to before in his life. It made his stomach churn to lie to his only family and greatest heros like this (not counting the red-head, whom he'd never seen before), but they weren't leaving him much choice.

"When I was born, the current leader of the village decided I'd make a nice 'experiment.' That's how my father died--protecting me. My mother died from giving birth. That's why the people hated me and called me a monster, along with other choice terms I won't bore you with. They kicked me out of the orphanage when I was pretty young...not really sure how old...and forced me to live on the streets. The new leader that took over tried to make things better for me, but those idiot politicians wanted me dead without them looking bad for it."

Naruto's eyes darkened noticeably. "Survived that Hell till age seven, at which time the people who trained me started taking care of me and eventually trained me. One in particular decided that staying in the village was getting too dangerous and took me traveling with him for a couple of years. Not too long afterwards, I was told my last name."

His voice was very soft now. "After my sensei died, I got very angry and depressed. He'd died trying to get rid of those jerks who wanted me either dead or to use as a weapon and succeeded at the cost of his life." _Well, his sacrifice did lead to it, so it's not exactly a lie._ "I didn't want anyone else getting those ideas, though. I'm not a weapon; I'm a person, and I knew they'd use me to hurt the people I cared about. I...didn't want that."

"So you tried to kill yourself," Minato whispered.

Nodding, Naruto continued his half-truths. "I'm not dead, but I did manage to get rid of the thing that was causing me all the trouble, along with some of my chakra and a couple of other bonuses, but it was worth it. I'm finally free of that thing. How I ended up here in my birthday suit still alive is probably due to a friend I met recently. He sent me here as a gift, but don't ask me what jutsu he used, because I'm clueless, too."

The woman he'd seen sitting on the couch spoke up for the first time. "And who was this friend of yours? He sounds powerful."

"He told me to call him Ayu, and you're right. I think he's the most powerful person I've ever met." Naruto stood. "That's really all I can tell you right now. Like I said, it's a life I will never go back to, no matter what. Believe me or not, that's your choice, but...I hope you will." He moved to head to his room.

"Wait, Naruto," the Sannin called him back. "That doesn't explain your knowledge about this village."

The boy rolled his eyes again. This was getting ridiculous. What, his life's story wasn't good enough? Ok, so it wasn't exactly an accurate account, but still. "I said we traveled. I've been to Suna, as well. Lady Chiyo is their head medic like Lady Tsunade is Konoha's. But this place is much prettier, except when the sun is setting. There's nothing like seeing it from the desert. Trust me." Gaara would be pleased at that.

Gaara...so many horrifying things had happened to him, but things had been great in the end. He and some kunoichi had gotten married and had five kids at last count. And the woman he'd married...she'd seemed sweet at first. Until he'd accidentally ticked her off by spilling ketchup on her clothes. After that, she had scared him more than her husband! Naruto could still remember the torture that woman had put him through--shopping! The poor blonde nearly gagged right there; he'd take knife to the stomach over that any day!

The three adults, in the meantime, were watching him curiously, wondering what that strange look on his face was for. They figured it was time to wrap this up.

"One more question, Naruto." The boy snapped out of it and gazed at the white-haired ninja. "You're obviously not going to tell us where you're from, but can you tell us a little more about Suna? We are fighting a war, after all. Any information you have could be invaluable."

He thought about it for a moment. "I know what happened to their third Kazekage."

A collective gasp filled the room. _Eh, why not? If they think I'm valuable enough, they might decide to let me live, after all._

The woman was the first to speak. "Can you tell us what?"

"Sure, it was Sasori, Lady Chiyo's grandson. He killed him. Apparently, the guy's body was somehow preserved and turned into a puppet. Darn thing can still use its iron sand techniques, too." Every eye was wide and watching. "Well, I didn't actually see all this myself. A friend of mine who had managed to survive one of his attacks did that. And she saw a LOT, believe me."

His dad was quick to take advantage of the information. "We should tell the Hokage this information immediately and then pass it on to Suna so that they can investigate. If we're lucky, it'll improve relations with them and maybe end this blasted war. Later." Then the Yellow Flash, um, flashed out of there.

As the other two had not finished staring at them, he sat back down. "What else do you want to know?" His voice was tired. He'd been talking for...a long time and he'd missed his nap. _Darn it, I'm getting grumpy._

"You tell us."

"Hey, wait a minute. You know all about me, but I don't recall even seeing you before, so until **I **get some answers of my own, I'm not telling you anything else."

The red-head smiled. "Kushina Uzumaki. Nice to meet you, young Namikaze."

...Man, he'd thought it was hard not to react to Jiraiya's presence, but this! His mother...

But this time, something showed on his face, because she was asking him what was wrong.

"You're from Whirlpool, aren't you?"

"Oh, I see. Yes, I'm perhaps the only surviving ninja of that country. You didn't think there were any, did you?"

Wisely, all he did was shake his head.

"Now, then, what else can you tell us about the other nations that you think we might not know?"

_Geez...fine, whatever._ "Here's a little something: I can name all of the bijuu and their locations."

Kushina didn't understand what he was getting at, but Jiraiya's eyes looked like dinner plates.

"Ichibi's in Suna, but I don't think they've sealed him recently; the Nibi is in Kumo, and I'm not sure that one's been sealed yet, either; the Sanbi is supposed to be in Kiri, but my information's lacking a little for that one; Yonbi's in Iwa and so is the Gobi; Rokubi's also supposed to be in Kiri; Nanabi is somewhere in Takigaruke; Kumo also has the Hachibi; and the last one, the most powerful of all the bijuu, the Kyuubi, is somewhere right here in the Fire Country."

The two in front of him were now shaking; even if his mother had never heard of the others, there was no mistaking the name of the Nine-Tailed Fox.

"How do you know all of this?" they asked with shaking voices.

Naruto paused. This was getting dangerous. "You understand that I'm trusting you with information that could easily get me killed if it gets out that I know this, right? I mean, I'm not in any Bingo books at this time and I'd like to keep it that way."

His old teacher's face dawned with understanding. "You're giving us something to hold over your head to prove yourself to us, aren't you. If you betrayed us, all we'd have to do is release the fact that you know this information and you'd be hunted down and killed by every nation on the continent."

"Exactly. It's the only guarantee I can give you that I'm not trying to hurt this village. In fact, I don't really want to hurt **any** village. If possible, I'd like to live to see peace, lasting peace, in every nation. But let's start with one at a time, right?" For the first time since they'd started questioning him, a real smile brightened his face.

And for the first time since Ayu had last spoken to him, he didn't feel alone.

"And I know all this because I'm just that good." The fist to his head was the last thing he recalled before drifting off into darkness.

* * *

This is where the plot starts to thicken a little, thanks to Naruto's information regarding Sasori. What will happen? Stay tuned to find out more!

And you wondered where Ino got it from...

Obito, Obito. Where do I begin? He's so much fun!!

Anyway, reviews appreciated as always! Can't promise I'll be able to update every day like this, but I'll try for at least every other day :)


	8. Minato's Bad Day

(Standard disclaimer applies...yay...)

* * *

_Naruto loved noodles. He especially loved them in the form of ramen with extra toppings and made from scratch by Ichiraku himself. There was nothing else like it in the world! Often, his friends found him there, having been slurping down the food for hours._

_And that was how _she_ found him._

_Sensing a presence, the bottomless pit turned quickly to see Sakura standing there, looking nervous and scared. _Why would she be scared?_ he wondered._

_"Sakura-chan! Have a seat and I'll by you a bowl!"_

_But she just looked like she was going to be sick at the very mention of ramen. "That's...ok. Naruto, I have to talk to you about something important."_

_The 17-year-old turned dead serious. "Gotcha." He handed some money to the "old man" and motioned for Sakura to follow, heading to the only place he could: his apartment._

_As soon as they entered the door, he activated his security seals. The only time his teammate acted like this is if it were something really big. Now she could say whatever she wanted and it would be kept safe between the two of them._

_But she was just standing there, shaking in fear and almost crying. He couldn't stand to see her like this! "Sakura! What's wrong? Tell me so I can help you!"_

_"I-I'm so scared, Naruto!"_

_"Why? What's the matter? I won't let anyone hurt you--you know that."_

_She looked up. "Do you promise?"_

_"I promise that I will do whatever I can to help you as best I can," he replied firmly, erasing all doubt from her mind._

_She took a deep breath and said the last thing in the world he'd ever expected to hear. "Naruto, I'm...pregnant."_

_The room seemed to spin as the blonde took her words in carefully and very, very slowly. "...Sakura?..."_

Naruto woke up, the world still spinning from his dream. At least it wasn't a nightmare this time. It'd been a week since his meeting with his parents and godfather and not once had his sleep been peaceful. He knew at least one of the reasons was because of guilt. The other reason was that it was just plain typical. Even back in his own time, he would have bad dreams. Only his wife seemed to help with them.

But this one was actually ok. He wished he could go back to sleep and finish it.

He looked at the clock. Time to get up, so that was out of the question. The blonde tried to stand--

--and promptly fell down. _BANG!_ No harm done. It was just his head hitting the floor. Mr. Yellow Flash couldn't get there fast enough. He rushed over to his dear "nephew" and demanded to know what had happened.

"I don't know. Everything was spinning...oy..." Just talking was making him dizzy.

Minato felt his forehead. "You're burning up. Looks like a fever, so you'll have to stay in bed till you're better." Without waiting for a response, he then proceeded to lift him up on his bed and covered him back up.

"A fever? Weird. Never been sick before."

His father's fussing stilled. "Really? Not even a cold?"

"Nope. That's one of those little bonuses I mentioned going away. I rarely even shivered, let alone caught a cold." But he was beginning to tire again and was soon snoring. Loudly. Too bad it was a dreamless sleep that time. He really would have liked to have seen the rest of that other one.

* * *

Minato left the room. _Crap! I was planning on showing him the Rasengan, too..._ The kid's information regarding the Third Kazekage had made the Third Hokage drop his pipe and burn his robes. Maybe the information couldn't stop the war immediately, but if this boy turned out to be right, then there was a chance that at least Suna would call for a cease-fire.

They'd passed it on as a rumor and were still waiting for a response.

Kushina and Jiraiya had filled him in on the rest of what Naruto had said and he had promptly gone to demand he tell them how the heck he knew so much. The blonde's response? "Don't ask questions about how I know these things or I'll have to either lie or stop telling you altogether. You'll be putting both my life and my contacts' lives at risk if you don't back off." The way he'd said it...no way was he any ordinary 13-year-old. He acted more like he was 30.

_I guess growing up on the streets will do that to a person._

Oh, well. Time to go meet the rest of his team. They only had a few more days of vacation before being called back into duty again, and although he was hoping his newest student would be healthy by then, there was still the rest of the team to get ready.

Minato arrived at the training grounds to see Obito nursing a burned hand, an unconscious Kakashi, and an irritated Rin trying to tend to them both.

"You idiots!" he heard. They really must have done something stupid to get their sweet-tempered medic that angry.

He hopped down beside her. "What they do this time?"

"OH!" She looked up in surprise, obviously not expecting him to show up like that. "Well, you remember Naruto's Water Drill?" (They had to call an amazing technique like that _something._)

"Yes. Tell me they didn't attempt the same thing."

Obito averted his eyes. Kakashi...was still out of it, so he just laid there like a pile of laundry. Dirty laundry.

"What did you do." Statement. Not a question.

"Well, none of us are wind elements, even though Kakashi has water, so we thought we'd use two different elements. If we'd known that the combination of fire and lightning was going to be that difficult to control, we never would've done it like that."

_Geez...I can see it now. Kakashi tries to pass his lightning through Obito's hand as he is working with fire, they don't combine them properly, and the blast burns this guy's hand and sends his teammate flying into a tree. Great. Now there are THREE students who can't practice today._

His hand slapped his forehead. _Wait, why am I hitting myself? It's their fault. They deserve the slap!_ But that would have to wait till they were no longer injured.

"Come on, let's get these two idiots to the hospital."

Obito spoke up. "Hey, Sensei, where's Naruto?"

"Hmmm? Oh, he woke up with a fever, so he's staying in bed today. I guess it's good that practice has to be called, in that case. He'll need someone to look after him. Well, let's get going, already."

As they hopped towards the hospital, with one boy under each of their sensei's arms, he wondered...maybe Naruto could teach them that jutsu in exchange for the Rasengan. _Sounds like a good trade to me. I'll talk to him later._

Minato turned to stare at Obito, who had just started chuckling. When he asked why, the boy's response was priceless. "My hand's burned; Mr. Ice Cube must be starting to warm up to me." With that, the little Uchiha passed out. _Strange. I didn't think he was that tired. What else have you been up to today, Obito?_

* * *

A few blocks from the hospital, Kushina was fuming. She'd just come home from a short B-rank mission to find cotton candy all over her kitchen's tiled floors. And the almost-invisible wire that led right across the entryway just "happened" to send her flying, where she landed right on top of the sticky sugar.

**"Who did this?"** she hissed through the annoying, albeit delicious, candy. Probably Obito, the little jerk. She'd have to have a little talk with his sensei.

Her cheeks burned at the thought of Minato, anger disappearing in her embarrassment. Darn it! She wasn't some fan-girl and shouldn't be acting this way! But the woman couldn't seem to help it. Thankfully, she was good enough at acting to hide it from him. Of course, that didn't mean he didn't know, anyway. Oh no, he definitely knew.

That's why he'd been avoiding her till that incident with his nephew had left him desperate enough to come to her for advice and help.

The more the last Kunoichi of Whirlpool thought about it, the more she was certain she'd made a big mistake after that mission from Hell he had lost half his team on. He'd come to her for help that time, too, and she'd truly just wanted to comfort him at first by giving him a peck on the cheek. As usual, things backfired on the red-haired woman. Minato had turned his head and...they'd agreed never to mention it again.

Obviously, one of them was still holding a grudge.

As she cleaned her kitchen (setting off several more traps consisting of feathers and balloons filled with sugar-water--for the stickiness factor, she was sure), she thought about his nephew. And what her friend had said about him.

_..."Alright, but make it snappy. I've got somewhere to be."_

_The man didn't waste any time. "I have a nephew."_

_Kushina's head jerked in surprise. "What? But you're an only child...right?"_

_His bitter laugh was more than enough to convince her otherwise. "That's what I'd always thought, but apparently Dad wasn't all that good at keeping track of all the villages he visited."_

_Ooooh, she could feel the anger radiating off of him, as well as the sadness. "Tell me everything."_

_"He showed up randomly about a week ago, shocking the crap out of Obito and Rin. And his injuries were nothing to scoff at, but I won't get into those just yet. Anyway, the boy's face was hard to see because of all the blood, but once he'd been cleaned up... He looks almost exactly like me, 'Shina. Blonde hair, blue eyes, the smile--everything. I didn't think it likely, but I wanted to make sure that my father hadn't been unfaithful to my mother. Well, guess what. He might have been."_

_She was trying not to look as horrified as she felt. "Maybe it was before they were married?"_

_He looked up at that. "Yeah, maybe. In fact, going by his age, that seems more likely, but still. The boy, Naruto, had amnesia at first, and Inoichi tried getting through it, only to come up against a formidable mental shield. So we waited to see what would happen, and last night, I woke up from his screaming. I walked in to find him holding his head in agony and tried to snap him out of it, but when I reached out to touch his arm... Kushina, I've never seen terror like that before. Never. And it took a good while to calm him down. But guess what the first thing he said to me was."_

_She didn't even bother trying to answer that because she had an idea what it was about._

_"He told me that 'He' had had green eyes and told him that 'demon-boys couldn't do anything about it.'"_

_The kunoichi closed her eyes. So her guess was accurate. That's why he had come to her; she was the only one he knew of with experience in dealing with these things, although not first-hand, thank goodness. No, that would have been her sister, had she still been alive._

_If only that had been the end of it. "That's not all, either. He was forced to live on the streets at around age four--I don't even think Naruto's completely sure of his age just from the way he said that--and the child was tortured and tormented mercilessly. My nephew--_MY _nephew!--was abused, starved, and left for dead and there was nothing I could do about it! And what if this whole story is just that, a story? What if he's really a spy sent here _because_ he's my nephew and I have to..." Minato could speak no more._

_She didn't blame him._

Kushina still couldn't blame him, until she'd experienced the miniature blonde for herself. Yes, he was definitely hiding something, but one thing she would stake her life on was that Naruto meant them no harm. As suspicious as the circumstances surrounding his appearance were, he only wanted to help. And she'd felt that same connection that she'd seen on Minato's face whenever he spoke of the youth. Whatever it was, she knew that she'd defend him with her dying breath and had no doubts that his uncle would, too.

With that, she'd finally managed to clean the last bit of the sticky concoction off her floor. But rather than it wearing her down, she felt more energized. Maybe even enough to go "play" with her best friend's students for awhile. She cackled evilly as she headed into her room to search through her secret stash of "goodies."

What should she use this time? That handy little medicine that would make them pee purple? Itching powder in their sandals? There were so many to choose from!!

_Decisions, decisions..._

* * *

Elsewhere sat one very unhappy Toad Sage, mourning his missed opportunity to do some more of his "research." That book of his wouldn't write itself, after all!

It was all that darn kid's fault... If the little jerk hadn't been acting so suspicious, he wouldn't have been assigned to watch him. What he **really** wanted to watch were the women's baths. Heck, he'd even take them fully clothed at this point! Because what had he seen so far? Oh, yes. Naruto staggering to the kitchen. Naruto crawling to the bathroom. Naruto puking his guts out. Wonderful environment for his writing muse.

It was enough to make Jiraiya cry. All those beautiful ladies were waiting on him and here he was, stuck babysitting a 13-year-old boy. "It's not fair!" he sobbed. "Why couldn't some stupid ANBU do this, instead?? I'm missing my RESEARCH!" He continued his whining for several more minutes (all very "quietly," of course) till he saw the blonde suddenly stand up from his bed and shakily walk to a desk, pulling out a small notebook.

_Hmmm...maybe he likes his research, too!_ thought the old lecher. _Let's get a closer look, shall we? He's pulling out some ink and a brush--painting or writing? Oooh, I hope it's got pictures!_ Eagerly, he leaned forward with his binoculars as he watched from the next rooftop over. Thankfully, the boy was facing away from him as he...doodled? A little line here, a little swirl there, a bit of kanji--

HOLY CRAP! That little kid was creating a seal!!

Jiraiya's jaw dropped open as he studied the art, hoping to discover what type it was, but he didn't recognize it till Naruto tore out the page, put it on his chest, and applied some chakra to it. When it began to glow green, the sage knew it was a healing seal, one of the most complicated types to make.

It was both exciting and terrifying at the same time. He'd been watching the blonde since their little confrontation, and so far, he'd discovered that the boy was a ninjutsu genius, extremely proficient in taijutsu, could use almost any weapon with the experience of a master, and now seemed to be an expert in seals. His only weakness was genjutsu, and even that wasn't much of one, since he could dispel most with barely a flick of his wrist. This guy was unbelievably--unnaturally--powerful for his age and maybe any age.

If he'd been born in Konoha, Naruto would have been Hokage material already. But now, this boy was obviously meant to be a very dangerous weapon. Just from what he'd seen, the Toad Sage was sure he'd be Minato's equal if his uncle didn't have the Hiraishin to back him up. That, and the Rasengan, anyway. He'd have to inform his student and his sensei of this right away.

_Darn it, you stupid kid! You're making me miss more RESEARCH!_

In the end, it took him two hours to find the older blonde. "Minato! There you are! I've been looking all over for you! What are you doing in the hospital?"

"Oh, just the usual: my students acting like fools and injuring themselves, one getting burned and the other getting a concussion." He sighed in irritation. "Then, a few of my fans spotted me here and decided to form a mob. Just waiting for them to leave."

His sensei laughed. "HAHAHAHAHA! You're running from a bunch of _unarmed, civilian women!?_ This is too good to be true! Why don't you just use that jutsu of yours and get the heck out of here? Or better yet, just do a standard transformation and walk out."

"Can't," Minato said through gritted teeth. "Didn't bring any of my special kunai with me and one of them is a Hyuuga. All he'd have to do is use his byakugan and I'd be toast!"

"HAHAHAHA--wait a minute, did you say 'he'?" The popular man rolled his eyes and Jiraiya started laughing even harder. "You're getting chased by men _and _women! Won't Kushina just love hearing about THAT! Ha ha, Minato, you really need to get yourself a girlfriend. At the very least, it'll let the **guys** know it's not meant to be." At that, the sage started his obnoxious laughing once again.

A low growl was his only warning as a powerful fist sent him crashing into another chair in the waiting room. The furniture disintegrated on impact. _WHOA! Guess I pushed too far, hehe._ He stood up, still relatively unharmed (he wasn't a Sannin for nothing!) and addressed his still-seething friend as though nothing had happened.

"Anyway, I came here to talk to you about something important." Blondie (Jiraiya's own nickname for his former student) looked up curiously and demanded to know what. "You know how I've been assigned to watch your nephew, right?" _Nod._ "Well, I saw something today that you're not going to believe."

"He didn't fake being sick, did he?"

"No, he was puking, alright. Nastiest sounds I've ever heard, too. But he did get out a notebook. Now, I thought he was just going to write or doodle, but this kid made a seal...a healing seal." Minato's eyes grew wide. "Yeah, that was my response, too. I mean, it's one thing for a shinobi to create his own explosive note, but to create something like that? On a scale of difficulty from one to ten, that one's easily a seven. It requires extensive knowledge on both the art and the human body, which takes years--years!--of experience."

The jonin couldn't do more than sit back down and blink.

"Blondie, I don't know about you, but I'm worried. For one thing, he's at jonin level from the little he's shown us. For another thing, I don't think we've seen half of what he can do."

"Do you doubt his loyalty to the Leaf Village?"

Jiraiya snorted. "I don't have any doubts that he wants to help; my concern is what kinds of experiments were done on him and why. He said they wanted to make him a weapon. Who did it and whom was the kid supposed to kill? And did they experiment on more children? Because, if they did and there are more at Naruto's level, we're in trouble. Big trouble."

The uncle put his head in his hands and groaned in frustration. "I'll see if I can find out a little more later. Our team has a mission in three days, so maybe I'll see something--anything--that will give us a clue. In the meantime...um, Jiraiya-sensei?"

"What?"

"Would you mind heading to my place and keeping my nephew company for a bit till I get there?"

His blue-eyed student was hiding something and his mouth dropped as he realized what. "You put one of those seals on me for Hiraishin, didn't you!...fine, I guess I'll help you get past your fan-girls and fan-boys just this once, but you owe me."

Minato just laughed nervously as he scratched the back of his head. "Thanks."

* * *

_Whew! Back home safe and sound!_ MInato sighed as he stepped away from an irate Jiraiya. Well, he **had** used the man as a homing beacon. He really needed to learn Naruto's Sexy Jutsu. Obito had already started getting it down (with the sannin's full approval, of course) and he had to admit, it had some definite uses. Not even the byakugan could see through it because it was a physical transformation. But if anyone found out, those fan-boys would probably go nuts.

So he'd just have to use a male transformation. No biggie.

He headed down the hall to Naruto's room to discuss the idea with him, only to discover no one in the room. _Probably went to the field, thinking we'd be there._

"Hey, Sensei! Naruto headed out. Gonna go find him. I'll be back later!" Although, he did question his reasoning behind leaving the man alone in his house...there was no telling what he'd do.

But he arrived at the field nevertheless and saw something truly shocking. Naruto was there and he had over 200 clones with him. Ok, yeah, the boy had mentioned being able to create an obscene amount, but now he'd witnessed it for himself. And all of them were working on elemental manipulation. Fire, to be more precise. Each one of the clones held a leaf and worked on burning it. But it was how they were being held that was amazing. Some had the leaves on their arms or legs, others on their foreheads, and there was even a small group that was holding them between their toes. _What in the world??_

He went up to ask one of the clones. "What are you doing?"

"Huh??" The clone looked up at him in utter bafflement for about three seconds (to process what he'd said, apparently) before a light seemed to dawn in its eyes. "OH! I'm trying to learn how to create a full-body fire attack, sort of like a cloak, that can double as a chakra shield. Wind and water are too hard, so I thought I'd start with fire." Then it went right back to work.

But Minato had another question. "How many elements can you use?"

"Hmm? Just three so far. I was hoping for lightning, since I'm also trying to create a three-element combo, but this'll do."

_A three-element combo? Is that even possible? I mean, two elements, sure, but THREE?_ Rather than interrupt again, however, he picked a comfortable tree and sat down on a branch to watch.

After about 15 minutes, he noticed the "arm" group making some progress. One among them raised his head and said, "Disperse, group A!" A few dozen popping sounds later, and he had one less group to watch.

To his surprise, the other clones all lifted their heads (except for the group with leaves on them) as though they'd learned something significant. Minato had experienced the knowledge gain himself, but he didn't realize it extended to the other clones like that, too. Then again, he rarely used the jutsu, anyway. Not that he couldn't, but that he didn't see it as all that useful.

He'd changed his mind.

"Hey, Naruto!" he called out. Big mistake, because a chorus of "Yeah?" was all he heard for the next few minutes. "The REAL Naruto!" he corrected.

"Oh!" a lone one cried out. "That's me! What's up, Minato-sensei?"

Minato couldn't help but frown. The boy never called him uncle and he wished he would. But that could wait.

"I was wondering if you'd help me with a problem."

The teen's eyes widened. "Uh, sure! Don't know what I could do, but ok!"

He sighed. This was going to be embarrassing, but it was necessary. "I'd like you to teach me your Sexy Jutsu."

Every single clone rolled in laughter.

* * *

Well, I certainly enjoyed that chapter, especially that last little part. Lol the world-famous Yellow Flash learning the Sexy Jutsu?? Gotta love it.

And don't freak out about the whole Sakura-thing. I had that one planned since the beginning. Wait and see what develops with it first, because it's probably not what you think.

Anyhow, I'll try to have another chapter up tomorrow or the next day; working on a nice term paper right now and an annotated bibliography, so if it's a little late, sorry :(

Let me know what you think!


	9. Naruto's Big Mouth

(Standard disclaimer applies. Doesn't really make much sense to put this at the beginning of each and every chapter, but oh well. Not everything in life has to make sense. Heck, if it works for politicians, who am I to argue?)

* * *

_"I'd like you to teach me your Sexy Jutsu."_

Naruto seriously hoped his father had a good reason for asking that, because he had a lot of questions, otherwise. He was already having a hard time choking out "Why?" between his laughs.

"Just trying to avoid certain crowds. Besides, I think it'd be great for sneaking in places. It's the perfect disguise, completely undetectable by any ordinary means. And if you teach me that and your Water Drill, I'll show you my pride and joy."

Water Drill? He didn't recall giving it a name... Wait a minute. His pride and joy? Did he mean...?

"I'll teach you Rasengan. So, what do you say?"

"HECK YEAH! YESYESYESYESYESYES!" Then he promptly began singing, "I'm gonna learn Rasengan, I'm gonna learn Rasengan" for five minutes.

Minato rolled his eyes. "Just show me the jutsu already. I'll work with it and try to create a male version right away."

An hour later, Naruto was impressed. It'd taken all of 10 minutes to explain the fundamentals behind his original technique and only 15 minutes for his legendary father to master it. _The history books were right. He IS a genius._ At the end of the hour, he had a fully-functioning male version: an ordinary-looking man with brown hair and brown eyes. _Not bad. Looks authentic, just as it should._

Getting back to business... "Ok, now you teach me the Rasengan!"

The older blonde nodded and concentrated his chakra into the palm of his hand, creating a familiar, spinning globe.

"Cool..." his son breathed. "How do you do it?"

"Come with me and I'll pick up some supplies to teach you, but I warn you, it took me three years to create this sucker, so don't be surprised if it takes you awhile to learn it."

As soon as the man's back was turned, Naruto let out a tiny smirk. _Just wait and see, Old Man. Just wait and see._

They worked till late in the evening, Naruto having busted the balloon within the hour. It took that long because he was determined to learn the one-handed version this time around. Needless to say, Minato was shocked.

"How'd you do that so quickly?' he asked, mouth hanging to the ground.

"I just made it spin in a bunch of different directions, that's all. It was easy after I figured it out."

Pale and weak, his father just nodded. "O..kay, um, then let's move onto the second step. It's a lot harder than the first, but maybe you won't have too much trouble with it, all things considered."

Naruto had already planned that taking another hour. _BOOM!_ There it was, a limp piece of rubber, the remains of the once-round training ball. He looked over at his sensei. _Dad's looking pretty bug-eyed there. I wonder when he's going to snap._

"What the...?" _Here it comes._ "My nephew...IS A GENIUS!!" And then the reserved, dignified man began a dance of celebration right in the middle of the field.

The former jinchuriki watched with amusement. _I guess I didn't get it all from Mom, now, did I_, he thought to himself.

After mastering the first two stages came the dreaded final stage. Technically, since he'd never actually managed to keep the balloon intact, this would be his first time mastering stage three. And it was difficult. But Minato stayed with him the whole time, watching in a combination of eager anticipation and relaxed confidence. It was really nice.

Naruto was just managing to hold the energy together (and sweating profusely with the effort) when an ANBU messenger arrived. After a brief word to the older jonin, Minato came over to him and said the Hokage wanted to meet with the team.

The appearance of the entire team clearly did not impress the boss; Kakashi was in the hospital, Obito was injured, Rin was upset, he was exhausted, and the only one 100% fit for duty was their sensei.

Needless to say, he was less than enthusiastic to assign them their mission. "It has been reported that there is a small base located in the small, southern peninsula of the Land of Earth, where, rumor has it, our enemies are creating a weapon of sorts." Naruto's eyes widened at that, and the Hokage noticed. "Your mission is simply a fact-finding one; I'm not expecting you to engage any enemy shinobi unless absolutely necessary, but if there is a dangerous weapon and you feel you can destroy it, be careful. This isn't some boarder skirmish. It's right in their territory."

Naruto had a good idea what some of this was really about. His shadow clones weren't exactly a secret, nor was his Sexy Jutsu, and those would come in very handy in a spy mission like this. Plus...they wanted to see what made him tick.

But he had a reason for going, himself. "Hokage-sama," he began, "there's something about that base that you should know."

Hiruzen lifted his eyebrows. "And what do you know and how did you learn of it?"

Sighing, he replied, "I know at least a little bit about _all_ the Great Nations, most of it things I would be executed for if it ever got out. I can't tell you how I learned it, but I know for a fact that there is definitely a weapon there, and it's meant to be very deadly. However, it's not...finished, I guess you might say." By this time, everyone was staring at him. _Guess they still haven't gotten used to my unexplained wisdom. Wonderful._ "The weapon...is a human."

Ah, yes, that REALLY got their attention. Obito (the loud-mouth) was the first to speak. "What do you mean by that?"

"Yes, indeed. Do tell us, Namikaze-san." The Hokage, ever polite, had eyes as hard as steel.

"Last thing I heard about it is that she's a young child who has been brainwashed most of her life. There's one woman, however, who's been trying to get the girl out of there. She's probably the one who released the information."

"Is that how you found out?" This question came from Minato.

"Yes, indirectly, and that's all I can say regarding that." At this, he noticed that every single eye was narrowed suspiciously. He countered that. "Look, don't you have enough on me already? You don't have to trust me, but it'd be nice if you didn't treat everything I say as some sort of ploy to bring down the village. If I really wanted to do that, believe me, I could. But I don't."

The Sandaime looked at him for a moment, then ordered everyone else in the room out, including the ANBU guards. "Now, young man, you've just made one heck of a claim. What makes you think you could back it up?"

Naruto rolled his eyes. _Yeesh, you'd think I'd be used to being underestimated._ "Simple. I have a technique that do it in one shot, or I could go to your enemies, instead. Actually, all I'd have to do is contact a certain man. But like I said, I. Don't. Want. To."

"And I'm just supposed to take your word for it? A possibly deadly, unknown ninja here in MY village, telling me he could destroy it in a single move!?" Sarutobi was fuming.

_Well, I asked for that. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Guess I don't have much choice now, do I?_ "No, I don't. Crap, I was hoping that I wouldn't have to do this, but it looks like there are no other options." At this, the old man got ready for a fight. "Relax. It doesn't involve fighting. Geez... You know, out of all the Hokages I've known, I think I respect you the most. And I think--I **hope**--I can trust you with this."

He sighed again and closed his eyes briefly. "Do another DNA test."

"W-what?"

"Another test. Do another test. But this time, compare it to Minato Namikaze's. And whatever you do, do NOT tell anyone, especially him. It would only confuse him and scare him at best."

The Hokage was confused. "What are you saying?"

"I'm not his nephew. Do the math."

With that, he walked out, wondering if he'd just royally screwed everything up with his fat trap. He hoped not. He really, really hoped not.

"Naruto!" He was called back in. "Your team leaves in two days. If the results show that you're nothing but a sham, I will have you executed. Understood?"

"Yup. Got it, Old Man." He'd almost started walking again when the man again called out.

"By the way, Suna was very pleased that we passed on possible information regarding their Kazekage. They would like to meet our source of said information; do you think that would be wise?"

Once again, it was easy for him to guess what the Old Man was hinting at. Translation: _What information do you have on them that might prove useful?_ "Do you think they can be trusted, Hokage-sama?" he asked without turning around. "I only know a little bit about their politics, but their Council is running things right now, isn't it?"

"Yes."

Disappointing news. "I know of the guy they'll pick for their fourth Kazekage, and he's a real piece of work, but he also truly wants to protect his village. Like my own father, in more ways than one... Anyway, suffice it to say, if you could get him to see that a treaty would be in his village's best interests, he'd go for it. But I don't know this Council, so I can't help you there. Sorry."

Then he left, once again wondering how much damage he'd just done to the future. His team was waiting for him further down the hall, and the suspicious glances he thought he'd receive were instead curious. _Whatever you told them, Dad, or whatever they told you, I'm grateful for._

"So...where's Kakashi?" Naruto figured he had nothing to lose by asking, and he was genuinely curious.

Rin answered him this time. "Oh, Big-Shot's in the hospital. He got himself a lovely concussion while training with Obito here." She held up his burned hand for emphasis.

"Speaking of that, a little birdie tells me that you know a little sealing. Is that true?" Minato asked.

_Ah. Pervy Sage. _"What, is peeking at girls in the hot springs not enough for him anymore? Or does he need a different kind of research for a new book?" He knew perfectly well why he was being watched, but a chance to insult the man's pervy-ness? How could he resist?

His father laughed, thinking the same thing. "No, but I was wondering if you'd be willing to try it out on Obito's injury here. Unless it's too much for you to handle, of course." _Great, get my pride going. Nice strategy, Dad. Fine, I'll play along for now._

"Of course not! I can do anything! Believe it!!" To no one's surprise, Obito repeated his infamous phrase...three times louder. _Heh, I've really missed saying that over the years._

Besides, seeing the legendary Yellow Flash with a big grin on his face was more than worth it. "Ok, sure, but let's get out of this hallway first, alright?"

In Minato's living room:

The young Uchiha was about the most curious and irritating kid Naruto had ever met. First, he'd wanted to watch him make the seal--no biggie. Then, he'd wanted him to explain what the symbols meant. A little more difficult, but again, no biggie. After that, he'd asked why some lines were shorter, others longer, some thicker, and some thinner. Oh, and why a few had to be in this shape or that shape, what it would do if the shape was wrong, and if he required special paper, ink, training, etc. That last question Obito had managed to spit out in the space of 10 seconds, panting to catch his breath afterwards. Naruto had finally stopped answering him altogether and just concentrated on finishing his seal.

"Cool..." whispered Obito as he saw it taking shape, quiet for once in his short life. "THAT'S SO AWESOME SHOW ME HOW TO DO THAT I WANT TO LEARN SHOW ME SHOW ME PLEASE!" Apparently, once and _only_ once.

Minato was the first to speak this time. "Obito. Shut up. I have a headache." _Probably from the humiliation of learning how to transform into a naked woman._

"That makes two of us," Naruto pointed out. "Anyway, this isn't as easy as it looks. When you use seals to heal, you have to take everything into consideration. How'd the injury get there? How serious is it? Is it infected? How long has it been there? What kind of damage did it cause? Why do you think it's taking so long to draw one? Honestly, Rin would probably be a much more effective teacher for this sort of thing because of all the medical information you have to be aware of."

There was a long pause in the living room. Till Obito broke it, again.

"Um, Naruto? You're making my head hurt."

Shaking his head, he replied. "Never mind. Just let me get a look at your burns." After a few minutes, he took out another page out of his special, chakra-covered notebook and began to draw.

_Let's see...he hurt his hand than 24 hours ago, so this line needs to be shorter and a bit thicker. Have to account for the fact that it's a burn, too; gotta put the word "fire" right here. It has already been partially treated, so this needs an extra swirl to channel the chakra here instead of there...gotta cover for possible nerve and tendon damage, so I'll add..._

Twenty minutes later and he was done. He placed the piece of paper on the hyper boy's hand and began to insert his chakra through it very, very carefully. Five more minutes passed and the kid's eyes widened. "It doesn't hurt anymore! YAY!!!"

"Yay, indeed, Naruto." His father looked at him proudly. _Hm. I wonder what happened to him being suspicious back in the Old Man's office..._

* * *

_"Sakura, I don't want you to worry about a thing, ok? I'll take care of it. That seal will keep that genjutsu up as long as I'm alive; it's completely unbreakable so that no one will know. And here, hold onto this. Keep it with you wherever you go, and if you ever need my help, just focus a little bit of your chakra into it and I'll come running."_

_"Naruto, this can only be hidden for so long. Eventually, this kid's going to be born, and what do we say then??"_

_"I have a plan for that. Do you trust me?"_

_"Yes. With my life."_

The results had come back. He'd stayed up till 3:00 a.m. just to run and check the results himself. It was impossible, and yet there was no way he could deny it. The poor ANBU guards that were still there wanted nothing more than to go home and rest, but the Hokage had one last assignment before he sent this particular pair away.

"Bring Naruto Namikaze here at once." _This can't be...he's too young to have a son this age! He would have been 10 years old! And I have it on good authority that he's never even done...that...before in his life, so how?_

He didn't have to wait long for answers as the boy himself walked in 15 minutes later. Immediately, he dismissed his guards and activated every privacy seal he could. Sarutobi only had one word in mind: "Explain."

"A friend of mine sent me back to the past. To me, this all happened almost a quarter of a century ago. Don't ask me why I look 13, but in reality, I'm closer to 25. Ayu seems to have a strange sense of humor..."

"N-no, that's--"

"Impossible? Allow me to let you in on a little information. I know you're planning on making my father the next Hokage, even though you haven't informed anyone of this yet. You once considered your student, Orochimaru, a prime candidate, but lately his actions have been...troubling you, yes?"

All the Sandaime Hokage could do was nod.

Naruto continued. "I'm going to give you the locations of one of his bases. Check it and see for yourself what he's been up to."

The old man was trembling. "What should I expect to see?"

"Death. Bodies everywhere. Remember when you found Tenzou?"

_What the...?_ "WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT!" He rose from his desk, glaring at the boy/man standing in front of him, who replied very calmly.

"Out of 60 babies, he was the only survivor. Orochimaru was the one who experimented on them, and if you don't hunt him down and kill him, it will come back to haunt you, this village, and every single nation on this continent. Just to let you know." Naruto grinned as though he'd merely been talking about the weather, but his eyes were cold and hard. This was no joke to him.

He cursed. He cursed long and hard as he sat back down. In truth, the Hokage had known all along that his student was up to no good, but...he just couldn't. And now this supposed man from the future was telling him that he had no choice. But still, something was bothering him.

"How'd you know about Tenzou? That information was sealed by my own two hands. Only the Hokage has access to it, and I don't care what time you come from. There's no way you could know that without stealing the records!"

To his irritation, Naruto just smiled again. "Unless I had been the Hokage, that is. Right?"

Sarutobi cursed again, out loud, this time. "You?? Are you saying that you are a Hokage from the future??"

"Ah, well, sort of. I'd been in training for the position ever since I'd turned 17, but I didn't want to take over just then for personal reasons. But the current leader had let me see some of the sealed files just to get the hang of it, and she would let me help out in the office, as well. She really only let me see parts of certain records, though. For example, I know what we'll most likely find in the Land of Earth because of that. The girl would be around 8 years old right now, and she has very, very strong connections to this village. Not only that, but even at this age, she's pretty strong. Believe me when I say that you definitely want her on our side, not theirs."

The Hokage's hands were trembling. _He really was telling the truth. This is...ridiculous._ "Will your team be enough to get the girl out and bring her here safely?"

"I think so. You still might want to send Jiraiya along as backup, just in case. I mean, I can take them, no problem, but that would raise too many uncomfortable questions, if you get my drift. I think Minato-sensei could, as well, but I also don't think he can be everywhere at once, despite the rumors."

Grumbling, the village leader said that he would contact the sage and the boy left, telling him to return in the morning for an official forehead protector and test to see which level he could be safely placed at; he wasn't quite ready to trust all of the blonde's claims.

Besides, he was irritated, and seeing the self-proclaimed Fifth Hokage get his butt kicked would go a long way towards making him feel better.

_I'd really like to ring someone's neck, that's for sure. And he was right about his father; I really was about to announce him as the Fourth. Yondaime and Godaime as father and son...that sounds nice._ He stood up from his chair and began heading out of his office to finally go home when a thought hit him and he stopped dead in his tracks. _Wait a minute...Naruto said "she." He specifically referred to a WOMAN Hokage. Does that mean..._

"HOLY CRAP! MINATO GETS TRAPPED IN THE SEXY JUTSU!"

* * *

_"Naruto-kun?" Hinata hesitantly poked her head inside his door. She'd been knocking for 10 minutes and he still hadn't answered. But since it was unlocked, she figured she'd check to make sure he was ok._

_He was. He'd just fallen asleep so deeply that he hadn't heard her. Currently, he was lying on his bed, half-naked, and covers all over the floor._

_Hinata blushed at seeing the bare chest of the young man she had fallen for years ago. She was still fairly shy and extremely modest. But that didn't mean she was going to cover him up. She also knew it was wrong to stare at others and felt embarrassed whenever caught. But that didn't mean she was going to stop ogling him. Oh no. She fully intended to stand right next to him and stare for as long as she could, blushing madly and with a slight nosebleed. Even the thought of Naruto catching her didn't deter her one little bit._

_Actually, she was kind of hoping he would. Hinata would like that. She'd like that a LOT and could hardly wait till she could stare at him everyday as much as she wanted without fear of humiliation. It wouldn't be long now. Their wedding was just weeks away..._

"Skipping, dancing, and twirling, these are a few of my favorite things," the young Uchiha sang. Out loud. In public. In a crowd. And very, very off-key. While skipping, dancing, and twirling like a ballerina.

He did it on purpose. Obito liked the stares. Why wouldn't he? No one would even glance his way otherwise. Being essentially ousted from a clan was hard; those that didn't ignore him were rare. Also, he'd heard that his mother had recently had another child--another son. He'd been replaced, and they'd made that perfectly clear to him as they'd named the new baby Obito, as well. Officially, the elder son no longer existed in their records; anything of his that he'd left at home was now forever someone else's.

And the boy was desperate for the attention. Plus, if he could convince them that he didn't care, then they would lose at their little game. Why had he even gotten kicked out in the first place? For being "weak."

_Which is why I like the new teammate so much,_ he thought to himself. _Rin-chan and Minato-sensei pity me and Kakashi feels as though it's his job to remind me of my situation every time he looks at me, but Naruto..._ All it had taken was for him to see through Obito's manipulating ways of getting free food and he'd forever earned his younger teammate's respect. Now, all that remained was for that respect to be reciprocated.

Last night, Obito had decided that, since he wasn't likely to accomplish that through strength (impossible against a powerhouse like that), he'd do it through training, determination, and, last but most certainly not least, PRANKS.

He continued his skipping, dancing, twirling, and singing all the way to the ramen stand. Naruto was bound to show up sometime, and when he did, Obito would have a little gift for him.

A sly grin plastered itself on the dark-eyed boy's face as he saw the rest of his team already there. _Hmmm, a 4-for1 deal, eh?_ He pulled out a few small packages from his pocket and made his way to a stool.

"Good morning, everybody!" _Be your usual, chipper self and no one will suspect a thing!_

Kakashi ignored him (as usual), Minato smiled and gave him a thumbs-up, Rin waved hesitantly (she'd clearly heard the news about his new brother), and Naruto (whom he had sat next to) slapped him on his back and said "Good morning" right back to him.

"I'll have some pork ramen, please!" he announced, loudly enough to get the attention of people all the way across the street. Then he did a mental countdown. _Three...two...one..._

Minato scratched his shoulder. Kakashi shifted uncomfortably. Rin shivered. And Naruto jerked his head up in surprise. _Operation: infect with itching powder is a success!_

He thought that just until he noticed an irritating tickling sensation right between his shoulder blades. _Oh, no, don't tell me..._

The blonde teen turned to him and smiled as he struggled to restrain his attempts at scratching. "Great Prankers do think alike!" Their companions were now straining to relieve the infuriating sensations that plagued them. "You know, we should hurry up and get out of here before they find out we had something to do with this."

Obito couldn't agree more. First stop: the showers--to wash the powder off!

One problem. However fast they were, the Yellow Flash was always faster, even with his movements being somewhat...impaired. He stood before the dashing-off pair now, eyes glinting in anger (and embarrassment).

"We'll discuss this later, you two. Naruto, since you've finished your breakfast" _scratch scratch_ "you can head over to the Hokage's **right now.**_**"**__ Scratch scratch scratch._ "Yes, before you get to wash the powder off. You can follow and observe, Obito, since I have something to take care of at the moment." Minato continued to scratch as he glared. "Get going!"

The two jumped over the rooftops quickly to escape, and as soon as they were a safe distance away, they laughed. And tried desperately not to scratch.

"Hahahaha! Did you see that? We got them GOOD! Hey, did you put the powder on all of them, too?"

"Yup! They got a double dose, and my versions a little...tricker to get off." Naruto looked slightly guilty at that. It only took the Uchiha two seconds to realize why.

"HEY! That's the same stuff you put on ME, isn't it!"

The blonde rubbed the back of his head and laughed nervously. "Um, yeah."

Obito felt his blood boil as his face turned red in anger. "You...you're going to pay for this, Namikaze."

And with that, a merry little chase began. It ended only once they'd gotten to the Hokage's office, with both boys still trying not to think about their uncomfortable dilemmas.

They were allowed into the office immediately. The Third looked up from his paperwork and barely glanced at him before staring at the blonde, as though unsure of whom he was looking at. "Are you ready for your test, Naruto Namikaze?"

"Yup! Sure am, Old Man!"

Obito cringed. _Old Man?_

Sarutobi, however, hardly seemed to notice. "Good, then here is your opponent. Jiraiya, you may enter."

Even Naruto's eyes widened in shock as the sage jumped in through the open window and just leaned on a wall, watching. So, one of the legendary Sannin was going to determine his new teammate's rank? "Glad I'm not in your shoes, Buddy."

All he got was a weak laugh in return.

"Well? Get to it! Feel free to observe, Obito, but don't get in the way."

Great! He'd get to observe, after all! This was something he definitely didn't want to miss. He just hoped his new friend would survive. He wanted the recipe for that altered itching powder badly.

As Jiraiya motioned to Naruto and the two leaped out of the still-open window, the Sandaime turned to him with a smirk. "Let's go watch the fun, shall we?"

* * *

Sorry this is a bit later than I had planned. College. Anyway, I might end up editing this chapter a bit later on, but I'll let you know if I do.

Hope you enjoyed! And I love getting reviews, by the way, so thank you!


	10. Wonder

This is both a happy and sad chapter. It was very difficult to write because of the fight scene and I hope it meets your expectations. I can go back and revise it, if necessary. But you also find out just what's been going on with the war, and it's not pretty. Also, you get to see a little--very little--Minato/Kushina development. As far as it goes, I'm pretty pleased with the chapter and I hope you are, too!

(Standard, irritating disclaimer applies)

* * *

The pervert couldn't help but keep glancing back at the continuously-cursing blonde behind him, but whether he uttered foul words because he was trying to ignore the itching powder or whether it was at the thought of fighting him, he didn't know. Personally, Jiraiya hoped it was both. Be more fun that way.

They made their way to a training field that had been specifically prepared for this reason (in other words, cleared of all rocks, trees, and practicing teams) before he turned around to face his opponent. "Alright, here's good enough. Now, first I want to see where you're at in taijutsu. 'K? Then, if you seem to know what you're doing, we'll try a bit of ninjutus. We'll just take everything in stages, so don't worry." That was a blatant lie. There was no way he'd go easy on this or any other kid on that level! He'd seen enough of what this junior blonde was capable of and now it was time to find out more.

Apparently others had the same thought, because the Hokage, Obito (who was shifting strangely), a few dozen ANBU, and more than one Jonin were standing at the edge of the field, watching and wary.

His opponent's shirt was already looking moist from sweating in fear. He smiled. _Time to get started._ "Begin!"

Naruto just stared at him for a moment before shaking his head and getting into some weird-looking stance. Of course, having watched him spar a bit with his new team before, the sage knew not to brush it off...as the less-educated ANBU guards were doing. _Morons. They should know not to underestimate a ninja based on nothing more than appearances. I'll have to have a talk with Sensei lat--CRAP!_

The younger Namikaze had attacked without warning while Jiraiya was off in his own little world. And the way he'd attacked...the boy had literally stood on one hand and delivered a very painful kick to the man's stomach while blocking Jiraiya's own kick with his free hand, somehow managing to stay balanced the entire time. Then, to top it off, the hand that held his foot literally wrenched it at the ankle, effectively twisting it with nothing more than brute force._ Geez! Not enough to hold me back or even really hurt me, but still! Anyone else might have ended up with a broken ankle!_ The sannin decided he'd better be a little more careful around this yellow whirlwind of energy.

Regaining his ankle (and his composure), the older shinobi figured it was time to cut loose. If this kid was really as capable as he, the boy's uncle, and now Sarutobi were betting, then he was in for one heck of a fight. Maybe after he'd beaten Naruto, he could put the fight scene in his new book! After all, a good story must not only have love; it must have action, as well! So the sage countered with trying to grab **his** leg as payback.

Not happening. Naruto simply flipped hands (changing his balance and throwing the older man off) and then used chakra to launch himself in the air, where he twisted like a cat before landing back on his feet, smiling. The whole episode--from the first strike to him getting back on the ground--hand taken no more than a split second. By this time, the boy's sweat was already drenching his shirt and he had to wonder about it being due to fear.

Jiraiya wasn't going to take this lying down! He charged, seemingly recklessly, but in reality very controlled, and launched an impressive series of punches and kicks. Their speed seemed about equal, though, as most were blocked. However, it only took one getting through. He lifted his knee and slammed it into the kid's stomach, knocking the breath (and a little blood) out of him. _Ooh yeah! Blondie's going down!_ He stepped back to allow him to recover--he wasn't trying to kill him, since it was just a test, after all. But "blondie" had never stopped smiling.

"Congratulations, Jiraiya-san! Not very many people can actually hit me. That's the first time in years that I've been kneed in the stomach. Still, an injury like that is nothing more than a pinprick. I hope you feel the same when I'm done with you." And just like that, Naruto was dead serious, eyes as hard as diamond.

"Yeah, yeah, Mini-Minato. Bring it on."

Big mistake. The next move left his jaw on the ground as he rushed towards him, stopped exactly two inches out of Jiraiya's reach, and then slid the rest of the way, trying to knock one of the man's legs out from under him. He jumped up just in time, and Naruto quickly flipped to his feet again, getting in what appeared to be a modified Jyuuken stance. _Ok, that's a little strange, but at least he doesn't have the Byakugan, so there's no way he can touch the chakra network, even if he does know the moves themselves._

He was right, but just because the boy couldn't touch the network didn't mean that every single hit he managed to get past the man's guard was harmless. It was all Jiraiya could do not to yell in surprised pain at one particular blow that landed on his chest. He spun around to avoid the next attack and managed to kick the boy's feet out from under him for a moment--and only a moment, because he sprang back up so quickly that it was almost as if he hadn't fallen down in the first place. Jiraiya didn't let that stop him, though. He dropped into one of his more advanced moves, taught to him by his toad friends. Sure, the techniques weren't nearly as effective without sage mode being activated, but at least the kid wouldn't know the style and it'd catch him off guard, right?

..._apparently not._ The boy's grin stretched from ear to ear as he carefully countered each and every move as though he himself had been trained in them, even though that was impossible.

So he switched tactics, even as Naruto landed one very heavy kick on his left shin. He decided to go with his personally invented style would be the best choice; after all, he'd only used it a few times outside of training, and there were no living witnesses to tell anyone about it. And the only one he'd ever trained with was Minato, who had been sworn to secrecy. It would work; he'd beat the little punk down and gloat as he stood over his unconscious form. And it had just enough Judo and Savate mixed in to make it really annoying. Jiraiya smiled as he sent a deadly kick towards his opponent's head...

...who blocked it with his arm like he'd been expecting it. Darn it! The brat was still grinning the whole time, too!

"I see you put a little Savate in that one. Good call! But I'm already pretty well-versed in that style. Might not want to use it again." Despite the great, big smile on his face, Naruto's eyes were, once again, dead serious.

Jiraiya cursed under his breath. Ok, well, he supposed he could use Kuntao instead And then the blonde menace himself switched from his apparently random styles to the same thing, or something like it. After about thirty seconds of high-speed combat, it was obvious that no attacks were likely to get through on either side and it was infuriating. He'd had enough.

"Geez, kid! I've used at least five different styles against you and you've countered every single one like you're an expert! How many types of taijutsu do you know, anyway!?"

"You mean apart from the ones you've shown me?" was the innocent reply. _Well, duh._ "I guess I know of about 20...but I'm really only experienced in half those. Shadow clones come in handy when learning new forms," the boy shrugged, as though it were nothing to be as skilled as that! But he wasn't finished. "I'm not an expert, though. I never fully mastered any method except my own."

"Why not?" the sage asked, curious as well as irritated, and as they talked, their fighting paused and their stances relaxed...mostly.

"Simple. There's no need to. They're all predictable; after observing them for long enough, it's easy to tell what the opponent is likely to do next. No need to master something I can find ways around by creating another that's completely unpredictable."

That made the white-haired man pause. He had a point, especially since that was his reason for creating _his_ own style. Jiraiya had to smile. "I guess you've got a point there, and it looks like you and I think a lot alike. In that case, I guess there's really no reason in continuing this part of the test, is there?"

"Nope!" the chipper 13-year-old replied.

Time to move on. Why not? They were evenly matched.

"Alright, then, we'll move on to ninjutsu, but unless you've got perfect control over the direction that Water Drill of yours goes, DO NOT use it. From what I've seen, it could bend, if not plow right through, solid steel. We don't want our audience getting hurt, after all."

The boy nodded happily, but the older man got the sneaky suspicion that **all** of his techniques would be perfectly controlled. "Here's what we'll do; I don't particularly want either one of us on the receiving end of a high-powered jutsu that we can't block, so create as many shadow clones of yours as you feel are necessary and just give us a good demonstration. If you want to send them fighting at each other, fine, but be careful."

"Yeah, yeah, I got it, Super Pervert. I know how to handle my own clones and techniques," Naruto muttered and then walked a little distance away.

Without words or signs, 100 clones popped into existence. The group of observers gasped. Obito scratched. Where was Minato and the rest of the team, though? They really needed to see this, but maybe they already had and didn't care to see more...? That's when he actually stopped to truly look at Obito. The boy's face was bright red in a combination of frustration and anger as he desperately tried to reach between his shoulder blades. _Oh, no, he didn't!_ Oh, yes, he did. The rest of the team wasn't there because Naruto just couldn't resist a little prank every now and then, the turd. Sarutobi, however, didn't seem like he was upset. Actually, it looked more like he was trying not to burst out laughing. _Well, the Uchiha kid does look pretty funny contorting like that._

But now to get back to the **other** kid, the one who was making his head hurt. Apparently, he'd taken his "make your clones fight" suggestion to heart, and they were now having an all-out brawl with groups of 10 (or 20) fighting against each other. The more he watched, the more he was shocked. One group was using that water-wind combo that he had a feeling the blonde would become well-known for, while others were using a fire-wind combo, the Rasengan (which flabbergasted the sannin), or blades made from two of the elements he'd apparently mastered. But it was the group using fire as armor that really made his jaws drop.

From what Jiraiya could tell, it wasn't complete, but each clone had fire covering its body, almost like a cloak, protecting it from the attacks of the other group that was using wind-blades to cut through. Amazingly, the wind was small enough and compact enough to have an effect, sort of like blowing out a candle, perhaps, although that analogy didn't quite seem to fit. That blade was an impressive weapon, but he wondered if it would have been that effective if the fire cloak (he had instantly dubbed it as such) had been complete.

As for the other matches, the Water Drill (which had 20 clones working on creating it) and the Rasengan seemed about equal in terms of strength. In terms of distance, however, the Drill was better suited for mid-range attacks, so the Rasengan was not working against it, as the other clones weren't letting those things anywhere near them.

The fire-wind combo (which was being created by 20 clones, as well, shot from the clones' hands but had no form as the other combo did) was going up against the Water Blade...and was canceling it out, if not outright beating it--something that was unheard-of for a fire-based attack going against water.

If their audience had been shocked at the display before, they were staggered at the ones they were seeing now. The weirdest part was that the original, the real Naruto, was directly in the center of all the confrontations, lying down and staring at the clouds. The boy was cloud-watching while his minions destroyed each other. He'd occasionally wince when one of them dispersed, of course, but other than that, the kid looked absolutely bored.

Until the last two remaining clones started charging at each other, that is. One was using the Water Drill and the other was using the fire-wind technique, and both were bearing down on each other fast when the blonde shot up and started yelling at them.

"HEY, STOP! YOU IDIOTS! That hasn't been tested yet and there are innocent bystanders!" Eyes glaring and fists on his hips, the original stared down his sheepish clones. "Sorry, Boss," they both said before promptly dispelling. Then the young ninja turned their way and apologized for his copies' rash behavior...only to find that they were all staring at him in utter amazement and fear.

Jiraiya was the first to find his voice. "Naruto, I don't think we really need to go any further with this test. Uh, Hokage-sama, may I respectfully suggest that we retire to your office to discuss our findings?" _Crap! Even my voice is shaking a bit! But at least I'm not rolling on the ground trying to scratch my back like Obito._ But his boss simply nodded his head as they all headed back to the tower. The shinobi that had followed them out there, however, all looked at each other and silently agreed: they wanted this young boy as a friend and not an enemy. Especially considering the itching powder.

It didn't take them long to reach the tower and soon they stood outside the Hokage's door, where the sage suggested they let Obito and Naruto wait outside for a bit while they discussed the master spy's "findings."

"Sarutobi-sensei, that kid--" he began, till his former teacher interrupted him.

"--is far more than the average shinobi, correct?" Seeing Jiraiya nod, he continued. "He's far above Genin or even Chunin level. In fact, I think he's probably far above Jonin. Do you agree?" Once again, the pervert nodded. "But it's not as though I can make him a fourth Sannin, is it?" Jiraiya's eyes widened, but he didn't interrupt. "I have no doubts about his loyalty, just so you are aware. We had quite the...discussion very early this morning, where he told me enough to be sure he's only interested in the good of this village. So, if you will call our young friend back in, please."

The sage moved to do just that, but as he opened the door, he had to wonder what exactly the world-renowned Professor had found out about their random guest.

"Hiya! You sent for me, Old Man?"

Amazingly, the "Old Man" did not seem offended by the title (although Jiraiya thought the kid should know better than to be so disrespectful) and told the blonde whirlwind of energy that he was giving him the rank of Jonin, effective immediately.

Before Naruto could throw a party at the happy news, Sarutobi continued. "And as soon as you have returned from your mission, you will also be given a team. No sense putting all your talent to waste, now is there?"

For perhaps the thousandth time that day--no, that morning--Jiraiya felt his jaws drop. "And what about the Council?! They'll have a fit!"

To his surprise--once again, DARN IT!--Naruto spoke up. "Actually, they have absolutely no say in ninja matters. The Shinobi Council deals with individual clan issues and brings things to the Hokage's attention, but they can't touch any of the Sandaime's decisions. And the Civilian Council brings up, well, civilian matters. In other words, they can't actually do anything but run their mouths, especially in war time. If I'd been a civilian or a member of a clan, it'd be a different story. But since I'm not...they can just stuff it."

Chuckling from the Hokage was the only thing the toad sage heard after that as his mind started spinning in a hundred directions at once. The boss was so sure that he could be trusted; there had to be something significant to make that happen, since Sarutobi had been suspicious until that morning, and yet, here he was accepting the miniature Namikaze without hesitation. It nagged at the back of his mind, but for the life of him...Jiraiya couldn't figure out what.

And seriously, where was Minato?!?!

"Hey, kid."

"Yeah?"

"Where's your uncle? I know you put itching powder on your teammates, but they should have washed it off by now."

To his fear, Naruto's eyes glinted mischievously. "Oh, that kind doesn't come off with water. It comes off with sake."

Which meant..."You mean that my student and his students are going to have to go around town smelling like a couple of drunks until that stuff wears off?? WE'RE ABOUT TO LEAVE ON A DANGEROUS MISSION! IF THE ENEMY CAN SMELL US COMING, THEN WE'RE DEAD, YOU IDIOT!!"

But he just rolled his eyes and said, "Hardly. Sake doesn't take that long to wear off. You should know that it disappears within a few hours at most after a good shower. Quit being so dramatic. Besides, the itching powder's effects only last that long, themselves. The itching should stop any time now. I wouldn't put a mission at risk just for a prank, you know."

Oh.

But it didn't really matter what he was about to say as an apology as each one of them felt a tremendous--and furious--presence headed straight for their location. _Ah, there's Minato. He'll probably want to kick his nephew's butt, too. I think I'll sit back and watch._

"NARUTOOOO!!" Minato yelled as he burst into the room. "It took me TWO HOURS to wash that stuff off, and I know it wasn't Obito's version, so tell me how to get it off or I will kick you from one side of this continent to the other like a volleyball until you do!"

Perhaps the Yellow Flash's anger would have been more effective had he not come in the room dripping wet and with...less than appropriate attire. Not that he was naked, but most people prefer it if men walked out of their houses with more than a pair of boxers and a white t-shirt (which was wet and therefore see-through) on. As it was, the sight was distinctly un-intimidating.

The Hokage intervened before the man's nephew could collapse from laughter. "Ah, Minato-san!" he said, getting up and putting his robes on the poor, shivering, and blushing blonde who'd just realized his mistake in his choice of outfits. "You'll be happy to know that your nephew passed his test with flying colors. In fact, he did so well, that I have given him the rank of Jonin." Minato's head jerked up at that, all traces of embarrassment gone as he gave his leader his undivided attention. "Also, when you have returned from your assignment, I will be assigning him his own team. Congratulations; you have one very skilled relative."

_Hmmm...that distracted him rather well. Darn. I guess he won't be throwing the kid around anytime soon. So much for entertainment._

Indeed, the boy's uncle was wide-eyed as he heard the news, even though it shouldn't have been such a surprise. Seriously, had he not been paying any attention to Naruto's training sessions?

Jiraiya didn't realize he'd said the words out loud until his former student corrected him with a smile. "It's not that. I knew he was a genius right from the first session. I just didn't expect the Hokage to trust him this soon, especially not with his own team."

Again, oh.

And, again, he was interrupted before he could apologize, but by Sarutobi this time. "Let's just say he brought some things to light yesterday and that we have come to a sort of understanding. Although, I still wish to speak to him once the two of you have left. Apparently, Minato-san, your nephew has uncovered quite the dangerous spy within our midst and I'd like to know what other pieces of information he can provide his home with."

Master and blonde student looked at each other. That was their cue to leave. "Right, well, I'll see you at home, Naruto, where you WILL be punished for that itching powder incident."

"Hey, that's not fair" the newest Jonin protested. "Obito did it, too! In fact, he's the one who got me! I just happened to be there first...darn kid could get away with murder just because of those puppy dog eyes he turns on everyone." He muttered the last part with a slight glare on his face.

_Wait, that reminds me..._ "Naruto, I noticed that he was scratching the whole time. How come you weren't?"

It was very amusing to watch the sparkle return to sky-blue eyes as Jiraiya received his answer. "Simple. He used the kind that washes off in water, and since water is my second element, well, all I had to do was soak my shirt. See? Easy."

_No, kid, not so easy. You released it from your skin! Most Jonin couldn't do that! Not only does it require a huge amount of chakra, but it also takes an obscene amount of training and most would never say it's worth it after, much less call it easy._ "You just can't do anything normal, can you, kid?"

"Nope!"

Then the two men stepped out of the room and left the tower with Obito having already left, only to be reminded of the Yellow Flash's amusing outfit. He pulled the robe close to his body as he and Jiraiya hurried back to his apartment. He'd forgotten his three-pronged kunai again and they had a lot to talk about.

* * *

As soon as the two of them arrived in the living room in the mid-afternoon (after having escaped a horde of fan-girls...and boys), the questions began. "Ok, Minato, first of all, when the heck did you teach that kid the Rasengan?"

"Um, yesterday?" he replied sheepishly.

This day was just full of surprises. "Are you telling me he learned that technique in one. Single. Day."

"Yeah, pretty much, although I didn't think he'd finished it. He was probably up really late and had his clones working on it or something. I don't think he got in before 2 or 3 a.m. Still, even with those shadow clones, if he really mastered it in less than 24 hours, I have to wonder just who in the world were his teachers, because they must have done one heck of a job!"

Well, that was the understatement of the year. "No kidding. Did you know that he was able to counter every single taijutsu style I hit him with, including my own? My original that no one except you and a few dead people have seen enough of to know?"

Blue eyes stared straight at him, disbelief warring with awe in his face. "You-you can't be serious!"

"I most certainly am. Ask Inoichi. He and his student, I think his name was Ibiki, were both there watching. And speaking of the Head of Torture and Interrogation, he came to me a few days ago to discuss his sessions with that blonde enigma you call nephew."

Minato's eyes became wary. If there was one thing about his student that he admired more than anything, it was the absolute loyalty he had for his loved ones, and since Naruto was the only family he had left, he was starting to get extremely protective of the mini-blonde. "What did he say?"

"He said that he couldn't get anything from him that he hadn't already told us. Not one thing no matter which method he used--besides that one that reads memories, anyway. And Ibiki apparently sat in on one or two of their sessions, so I went to ask him about it. Guess what he said."

The man was on the edge of his seat. "What?"

"He said that Naruto was intentionally teasing Inoichi, acting like he was nervous about a question, as though he had something to hide to make the interrogator go all nuts about it for a few minutes, trying to 'dig out the truth.' Then, he'd throw out some ridiculous and off-the-wall answer, just to mess with the interrogators head further. Not only that, but the little squirt would start questioning **him** as though he were the one in charge! So far, he's found out everything from Inoichi's shoe size to his girlfriend's favorite clothing store--hardly dangerous information, but still, to turn the tables like that! And you can be sure Ibiki was laughing his head off while telling me; he said it was the most entertaining thing he'd ever seen, and also that he thought some of your nephew's methods should be taught to our fellow shinobi. Now, how's THAT for impressive?"

Minato was cracking up laughing and spoke between gasps. "He...did that...to the head...of the Interrogation Unit!? Hahahaha! Oh, I would pay big money to see that! Hahahahahaha!" He stopped abruptly as the front door opened and in walked the younger Namikaze. "Naruto! I thought you'd be there for awhile, at least. You were barely there for an hour."

"Yeah, well, I sorta already knew what he was probably going to ask me, so I wrote up a scroll last night and handed it to him and he handed me a mission scroll for the trip to Iwa in return. But I really didn't get much sleep, so goodnight!" And just like that, with a smile on his face and a hand rubbing the back of his head, he collapsed from exhaustion. Minato caught him and panicked until he saw that the boy was just asleep, and then sighed and carried his nephew to his room.

Jiraiya thought it was good for him to have family around again. With someone to take care of, the famous jonin looked like he was finally relaxing. The war had gotten to everyone, sure, but him more than most, and he'd nearly snapped two months ago. That was why his team had been given such a long vacation, and the sage himself had been asked to keep an eye on his former student. It had helped that there was a lull in the war, anyway, but he'd never forget the look on Minato's face as he'd walked back into the village gates after a year of nothing but bloodshed.

The Yellow Flash had been holding onto his sanity by a thread. Just about every commander wanted him in his army or team, and he got no rest, since distance meant practically nothing with his Hiraishin technique. Amazingly, it was Kushina who'd first picked up on it. To that day, Jiraiya still remembered her words with perfect clarity: "Listen, Pervert, if you don't get him away from here for awhile, he's gonna end up slitting his wrists. I can see it in his eyes, and I know, because if I weren't needed so much, I'd do it, as well." Naturally, that had gotten her a break right along with her best friend.

And now they were going back--all of them, but thankfully they were getting a relatively simple mission first. Go scout a base. No big deal. In enemy territory. Ok, possibly a big deal; Minato's face was well-known in Iwa (to say the least), but with that Sexy Jutsu, no problem. Piece of cake with two jonin, one sannin, and three chunin along. And since that Uchiha probably already knew the technique, as well, it meant that only Kakashi and Rin would have to worry about disguises...unless they wanted to learn the jutsu, too, which Jiraiya seriously doubted. Yes, indeed, it would be easy, he hoped, because this war was lasting way too long and this new kid was a balm to his uncle's soul.

For that alone, Jiraiya realized that he'd always owe Naruto a debt he could never repay.

Just then, Minato came back into the room and Jiraiya broke off his thoughts with a question he'd been meaning to ask. "So, how'd you know Naruto didn't get back here until 2 or 3 this morning?"

The blonde blushed bright crimson and the toad sage knew he'd just hit the jackpot. "Uh, I, um, couldn't sleep." _HA! Liar! I bet he'd just gotten home himself!_

Time to dig the knife in a little deeper. "You know, I went to go visit Kushina last night to see if she was up to pranking one of the more irritating council members and I could have sworn that I saw you two through a window--"

"OK!" he snapped. _Victory!_ "Yes, I was there, alright? Look, please don't tell anyone about this. I care about her a lot and I don't want her to get hurt. You know how careful she is about her personal life becoming public. For her sake, I'm begging you, leave it alone."

But Jiraiya just smirked. "I lied. Never saw you. Never even visited. GOTCHA!"

Minato cussed long and hard, but the hermit had never felt so pleased. He wasn't a master spy for nothing!

"So..." he started, conversationally, "how long till Naruto gets a cousin?"

He left that afternoon with significantly more bruises than he'd walked into the home with.

* * *

Jonin. His nephew had made Jonin at age 13. It was unheard of, but if what he'd heard was true, even that ranking was downplaying his skills considerably. Obito had come over shortly after Jiraiya had left (covered in suspicious black and blue markings, of course) and had told him a bit more than the older ninja. If it'd been a full-out fight between the two of them, his former sensei would have gotten his butt kicked. Well, maybe not, if he'd used Sage Mode, but it was pretty rare for him to "sink that low," as Jiraiya liked to put it.

Which immediately made him wonder what Naruto could do with Sage Mode. Ah, yes, that would be a sight to see! And with the war going as poorly as it was, the village desperately needed it. Needed _him._ All of them. Hiraishin and this nephew of his could tip the scales drastically in their favor. Still...he'd experienced the horrors of war and was loathe to let anyone as innocent and carefree as Naruto learn of it firsthand. And he didn't want the boy to be used as a weapon, as he often was.

He laid down on his bed as he pondered these things, wondering how he could save the only family he had in the world from the brink of insanity that he'd just recently come back from himself. Minato knew that it wouldn't always be this way; they wouldn't always be treated with kid gloves. This was temporary, and reality was going to smack them in the face sooner or later. He hated that. Oh, how he hated that. Peace...was it all just a dream, something to strive for but never achieve? Countless generations and lives had been spent pursuing a rumor to find the truth that lay behind it, and each and every time, all was lost. In truth, too few wanted that peace, and too many wanted death. It had been a difficult reality for him to accept, but sometimes war could not be avoided for that reason.

_"Sometimes I think the human heart is the source of all evil in this world. We fragile humans are so easily corrupted and we suffer at our own hands; the worst part is that the innocent suffer with us."_ He could remember telling Kushina that very thing last night, and for the first time in years, she had broken down crying. They hadn't done what Jiraiya had implied, but he'd let the pervert think that, because he knew his friend would rather die than have anyone see her as weak, and so he'd held her for hours until the tears had stopped as she fell asleep. Then, Minato had carefully picked her up off the sofa and gently, ever so gently, taken her to her room and laid her on her bed. He'd stayed there for awhile just to watch her as she slept without nightmares--the first time in weeks, he knew--and the whole time, all he could think was how strong she was and how beautiful.

The more he thought about it, the more he realized that she'd needed help a lot longer than he had and no one had really taken the time out to see to it that she got it. Kushina's one stress-relief in her life was her pranks, and she'd been pulling more and more of them lately until they seemed non-stop. While he had been healing...for awhile...she had been eaten from the inside out. And when he thought about that, he realized something else: Naruto. He'd recovered more than he'd ever expected to because somehow, this cheerful beam of light had entered his life. They'd gotten along well; maybe he'd be willing to help her the same way he'd helped Minato, and in turn, maybe they'd all help each other. Because all ninja knew that a shinobi on the battlefield was not the same as a shinobi off the battlefield. Broken people could still throw a kunai straight, as he'd proven time and time again, but it was never worth the price.

Yes, he was glad--exceedingly glad--that he'd found a family he'd never thought to have, a welcoming light in a time of vicious darkness.

But something about that very boy was bothering him. As he'd carried his nephew to his room, he'd muttered out a few strange words in his sleep. Where the heck had he heard the name Madara Uchiha and how did he even know the words, "Mangekyou Sharingan"?? It was very disturbing. Oh, and one other question flooded his mind: what exactly did he mean by "Akatsuki"?

As he pondered his confusing, enigma (as Jiraiya had so aptly put it) of a nephew, he slowly fell asleep. The last image to flash before his eyes just before drifting off was Kushina as she threw a balloon filled with chocolate sauce at his head. _Good times, good times._

* * *

_Six months of pregnancy had done wonders for her temperament. People no longer had to wonder if she was about to throttle them or lash out, screaming in their ears as rage overtook her senses. No, they no longer had to wonder...because they knew for a fact she would._

_Sakura Haruno was an explosion of irritation, anger, and temper-tantrums. Any and all who dared to cross her path regretted it immediately. Which is why most people preferred the use of clones or ignorant genins when speaking to her; it was less risky that way._

_But today, the now-eighteen-year-old girl was calm, unbelievably calm, as she sat in her office in the hospital, thinking about the months both behind her and ahead of her. Naruto had been a far better friend than she could ever have hoped to have; he was practically giving up his dream just to make sure she stayed safe, even if it was only temporary. He could already have been Hokage, but then he would have had to swear to uphold certain rules that he simply wasn't ready to yet, all because of her._

_The one bright spot in his life had been his and Hinata's wedding, and the Hyuuga was every bit as great a friend as her husband. Instead of turning Sakura in for being a traitor to her home, they had both hashed a pretty decent plan out. In three weeks, she would be traveling to a small border village in desperate need of medical care and would stay there for three months, and guess who was going along as "backup." Hinata. She would help her give birth, and then take the child back to Konoha as an "orphan" to raise as her own. It was the only thing they could really do, unless the pink-haired girl wanted to be executed. Sleeping with the enemy when not on a mission was frowned on, to say the least. The Council, in its anger at the Uchiha, would use her condition to say that she had been helping him escape their grasps for years by giving him information and plans._

_Ridiculous, especially since she hadn't exactly volunteered. But to tell Naruto that...Sakura would rather die than to cause him more pain. And to think, having that foolish emo's child had once been her dream. Now it was a nightmare that could easily cost her her life. No wonder she'd had a bad temper lately! Stupid male Uchihas..._

Naruto stared at his mission scroll. It was somewhat different than the ones Minato's team had been given; he knew because they'd gone over them that morning before heading to Ichiraku's for breakfast. After the little demonstration, he'd come home and fallen asleep immediately but had woken up after awhile. Now, thanks to it being late at night, there was nothing to do except think (which he hated). _Sitting around like this drives me nuts!_ Still, Naruto managed to stay fairly calm.

His fingers stroked his new Leaf headband for a moment. It made sense that he hadn't received a scroll from the old man until he'd become an official shinobi of his village again, but why was it different? The others had scouting duties with the option of attacking, if they felt it was necessary. Naruto, on the other hand, was ordered to take the base out **quietly**.

In other words, leave no witnesses and no evidence behind. _He's counting waaay too much on my transformation and huge stores of chakra. But I should still be able to pull it off, hopefully. I'm just glad I don't have to worry about the Kyuubi menace anymore...even though the furball did have its perks. _

"The cons far outweighed the pros," said a voice Naruto would recognize anywhere.

"Ayu! What are you doing here?" Then, he thought about the other times he'd seen the mysterious dude. "Wait a minute, am I unconscious?"

The man just laughed and reassured him that he was completely awake. "Your father is asleep just down the hall, however, so try not to be too loud."

Blondie eyed Brunette for a moment before nodding. "Right. So, then...what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to ask you what you think."

"Of what?"

"Your gift. And what you plan on doing with it."

"Oh, that." He paused as he considered how to put it into words. "Well, for one thing, my dad's great! It's awesome to actually get to see him in real life, every day! For that alone, I can honestly say that it's the best gift I've ever been given. And what I intend to do with it...I want to save him. Him and all the others--Obito, Rin, Sasuke's family, the--"

Ayu interrupted him before he could finish. "Naruto, not everyone can be saved." His voice was sad, filled with sorrow and compassion.

Naruto didn't understand. "What do you mean? All I have to do is be there when they go to take out that bridge to save Obito, and then all I have to do is kill Madara. After that, I can go get Granny Tsunade and bring her back to the village. Maybe some other stuff, too, but it doesn't seem so hard."

But Ayu simply shook his head and repeated himself. "No, Naruto. You can't save everyone." And with that, he disappeared. Not in a puff of smoke or any sound; he was just there one moment and gone before the next, leaving Naruto confused and wondering what was going to go wrong next.

He laid down on his bed and stared at the ceiling until he fell asleep and a new day and a new mission arrived.

* * *

_So, this is where Kakashi-sensei got his habit for being late all the time,_ the former Jinchuuriki thought to himself as he waited at the gate the next morning. Everyone had already shown up...except Obito.

They should have left an hour ago.

Naruto's foot tapped impatiently, as did Rin's, Jiraiya's, and Kakashi's. _I swear, if that Uchiha says one thing about being lost on the road of life, I'm going to--_

"Hi, everybody! Sorry I'm late! An old lady asked me to carry her groceries on the way here and I had to help." The rest of the shinobi groaned, not buying a word of it.

_Ooooh, you are so lucky I didn't mention that one._ Out loud, however, all he said was, "Great, then let's go."

And off they went, through the forests, through the meadows, through the rivers, through--_ GAHHH! THIS IS TAKING TOO FREAKIN' LONG! CAN WE JUST HURRY UP AND GET THERE ALREADY??_ Naruto was **not** at any point in his existence known for his patience, but at least he had gained the ability to keep his trap shut.

Obito, however...

"Hey, Mini-sensei, will you show me that awesome technique you used yesterday?" The rest of the group turned to look at the two of them, who were in the rear. Their eyes held both amusement and irritation.

_Mini-sensei. I can't believe he actually called me that. In front of people._ Yet, the Kage-level ninja replied carefully. "Which one? I used a lot of different techniques."

The Uchiha smiled. "Exactly! ALL of them!"

Jiraiya winced visibly. Naruto knew why. Each one of them had been at least B-level, some even A- or S-level, and according to the sage, this boy wasn't exactly the most--ahem--elegant of fighters.

However, Naruto knew better. Like with him, few people had ever truly given Obito the time of day; most had just written him off as worthless and left it at that. The one single exception to that seemed to be Minato, but even he couldn't spend all his time trying to train a kid who was more interested in driving people insane with pranks. Plus, the blonde boy had the sneaky suspicion that his father still had yet to fully earn the rambunctious 12-year-old's respect. After all, the Legendary Yellow Flash still hadn't seen through the Ramen Trick and fell for it nearly every time.

But since he apparently did have the kid's respect, well, it'd be fun to see just how much stronger he could get on the way to Iwa, which would take about two weeks, since they were doing their best to travel slowly to avoid detection. (Even their clothes had all had seals placed on them--compliments of Naruto--that kept up a constant genjutsu, making them look just like a civilian's. Minato had been thrilled when he'd learned his "nephew" could do that.) They still had four days before they reached the border and had to watch themselves, so why not?

"Hmmm...what's your chakra nature?"

"Fire, duh. I am an Uchiha, after all." Strangely, he didn't seem too happy about that, but Naruto had a solution.

"Well, which one would you like?" At that, all the others stopped dead in their tracks and turned around and stared at him.

Kakashi spoke what they were all thinking. "Are you implying that you have the ability to change the natural direction a person's chakra leans?" His voice was cold--as usual--but also curious.

"Um, sort of." His future sensei's eyes widened. "Look, it's not that simple, really, and it has its own drawbacks, but I can alter it with a seal...a very irritatingly difficult seal." Naruto muttered the last part because it truly was hard; the first time he'd tried it on himself, it had taken the better part of an entire day just to draw it on his skin (thankfully, he'd figured out how to use paper instead). And it had to be individually created for each person who wanted one. AND it had to be removed again in order for the person to use any other chakra nature. In his mind, the drawbacks weren't always worth it. _Hmmm...maybe if I add a few more lines in the left quadrant--_

"HEY! RAMEN FREAK!" (Obito again.)

The ramen freak broke out of his musings at once. The shocked expression on his father's face told him he'd probably never heard of this and was HIGHLY interested in hearing what his "nephew" had to say.

"What?"

"We asked you if you would be so kind as to demonstrate this ability for us," Minato kindly requested.

"Huh? Oh! Yeah, sure! Just give me a minute..." He sat on the ground (right in the middle of the road, in fact) and started to dig through his backpack.

"Um, I think we should move this off-road, everyone." Ah, Rin, the voice of reason. He nodded, picked up his pack, and walked off the road for a few minutes until he came to a small field, the rest of his team members trailing behind him in either excitement or uncertainly, and in Kakashi's case, no emotion whatsoever.

Then he started searching his bag again and brought out his notebook and his ink and brush. The Yellow Flash threw one of his special kunai next to the boy and flashed over quickly so as not to miss a thing. Obito ran as quickly as his shorter legs could carry him. The others...kept their distance.

"So, what would you like to switch it to, Obito?"

"Well, I've never been able to use wind like you, so...WIND!" The Uchiha all but clapped and danced at that. Everyone else felt beads of sweat running down their faces.

"Alright, then, let me see...height is 150.1 centimeters; age is 12 years, 3 months, and 11 days..." his voice trailed off as he stood, stared at the kid, and took everything into account; it was necessary because of the ways the seal interacted with both the body and the chakra network; there was a little leeway built in to make it safe, but if he were off by too much, bits of young Uchiha would be scattered across the grass. Naruto had to do one more thing before he could start creating the seal. He put his hand on Obito's shoulder and sent a pulse of green chakra running through him to get a good idea of what shape his network was in.

It wasn't precisely medical ninjutsu, just a safe way to check for vitals that almost every shinobi from his time knew as a necessity, but Rin's eyebrows still lifted sky-high, as did Minato's.

"Alright, looks like I've got all the information I need. Now I would suggest we all sit down, because this is going to take awhile, but thankfully only this once. If I ever have to do it again, I can have it done in 10 minutes."

So each team member sat around him to watch his art take shape. _Sai would be so proud of me! Couldn't draw a picture if my life depended on it, but this I can do._

After about six hours of practically burying the paper in scores of lines, swirls, circles, and kanji, he took out a new sheet to start the second layer. He'd finished the physical part; the chakra part was all that remained, and it only took five minutes. Then he went over every single bit of it with a fine-toothed comb. A sound of snoring interrupted him when he'd finished.

The whole team, except for his father, was asleep. Why not? It was a fine afternoon. He chuckled and the older Namikaze turned to him.

"Is it finished?" His words were spoken quietly to avoid waking the others.

"Yeah, and it didn't take quite as long as I'd thought. I guess it's because I've made it so many times before."

"Why and how did you manage to create it?"

"Why? Um, well, let's just say the fact that I can make over a thousand shadow clones would be a lot more handy if they can all use a ton of different elements. I met this guy once who could use all five due to a bloodline and I got curious. I thought that if I could somehow give myself that ability, I might be able to stop him or at least slow him down. Didn't quite work out the way I'd planned, but at least this came out of it"

"Stop whom?"

Oops. Foot in mouth again. The last thing Naruto wanted was to tell his father about Madara Uchiha. That would be a huge mistake. "Oh, uh, just some guy, that's all."

But Minato's voice got harder. "If he's so powerful that you had to create new seals and jutsus just to _hope_ to slow him down, then he's not just 'some guy.' I've seen enough of your abilities to know you're at least my level, so for you to be afraid you'd die while facing him, he must be unbelievably powerful. Tell me about him." Ah, such a simple request-slash-order.

_Sorry, Dad, it ain't happening._ "No can do. Now, let's wake Obito and show him his new toy." He moved his hand to nudge the boy sitting to his left (and drooling all over the grass) awake, but his father stopped him.

"It's Madara, isn't it."

Naruto gasped and cursed silently as he tried to come up with something--anything!--to tell this man he was mistaken. Too bad his face gave him away before he could.

"You talk in your sleep sometimes, you know. You mentioned the Mangekyou Sharingan and something called 'Akatsuki' as well. Who are they?"

He was sweating buckets and yet felt as cold as ice, and his hands began to shake. Before the man could say anything else, he stood up, grabbed his father's hand, and dragged him through the trees a decent distance away. Then, he activated a privacy jutsu that would extend for 10 meters in every direction. They could be seen but not heard, and their faces would be blurred to any who saw them and tried to read their lips.

"You should never have said that out loud, Minato-sensei! If I don't tell you and everyone else something, there's a reason for it--a GOOD reason! Which means you shouldn't go looking for answers or asking questions about things you aren't supposed to know!"

Minato just stared down at his young relative, face devoid of emotion as he let the boy rant until he ran out of breath. Then he spoke, his voice clipped and fiery. "You're the only family I have, Naruto, but if you think I'm going to avoid looking into things this serious, you'd better think again. If it pertains to either your safety or the safety of the village, you'd better believe that I will dig through every single nook and cranny to unravel the whole thing. Now, TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW."

Naruto had to sigh at the whole exchange. More and more, his mouth was getting him into trouble. Strange, he didn't remember being this bad when he was in his 20s; he must be regressing a bit. But he had to tell him something, that much was obvious. Just not _everything._

"I'll tell you what is safe to tell you and nothing more, and my reasons for that are the same as yours: keeping my family and my home safe, and I'm pretty sure the Hokage would agree with me on this, too, so don't use him as a threat." Blue eyes narrowed at blue eyes as Naruto continued. "Madara is alive. I won't explain how--especially since I don't have all the brains needed to fully understand it myself--but he is definitely alive and **pissed**. His short-term goal, if you can call it that, is to destroy the village Hidden in the Leaves. His long-term goal is to revive a creature that was essentially ripped apart before the Senju and Uchiha clans were even formed and use it to rule the world. He has the Mangekyou and created Akatsuki, an organization dedicated to fulfilling his goals. And let's just say that I intend to play a big part in kicking his tail to kingdom come."

"A big part. Right. You've left out quite a few details. Explain to me how you know about the Juubi."

_HOLY CRAP, DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO GIVE UP!!_ "What part of 'I can't tell you everything' did you not get?? Seriously, stop asking!"

His father's eyes flashed dangerously as he replied. "You think I didn't go and study the bijuu after hearing how much you knew about them? It's not well-known, but Sarutobi-sama was kind enough to let me use his personal library for research, where I found exactly what you've just described. That **thing** is a monster! Dear God," he said, then paused for a moment and hung his head as if praying (which he might have been, considering the circumstances), "I never expected you to be involved in something this serious."

A cold shiver made its way up the boy's spine as he remembered Ayu's words to him. Surely he didn't mean that he wouldn't be able to save his father? Surely... "What are you planning, Sensei?"

Sad eyes looked into his. "I honestly don't know, but I can't let you face this all on your own. Not you. Not my family. You're just a kid; you shouldn't have to suffer and bear a burden like this."

"Believe it or not, I'm not worried. And as for my age, that has nothing to do with it. I'm strong enough to handle it and you need to let me do so. Maybe one day I can tell you the whole story and you'll understand, and maybe one day you'll forgive me for not telling you now. Just...just please...please don't hate me for it. Please."

The discussion all but died there, the hurt and confused look in Minato's eyes something his son would never be able to forget. But he had no choice. He wanted to grow up with a family this time around, and preferably without the little furball tag-along he'd had his fill of. Even Sarutobi didn't know everything, and nor would he. No, this was his mission, his purpose, and his alone, and his father's life and his own very existence likely depended on him staying out of it. No matter how deeply it tore at his heart to see such disappointment on his parent's face, it had to be this way. Had to be. Had to be.

They both walked back to the clearing with those words running through Naruto's head the whole time until Obito practically tackled him to the ground.

"Naruto-san, why'd you both leave? We woke up and you'd disappeared and then Super Perv said you two needed to talk and then Rin-chan said I shouldn't bother you and then Ice Bucket said that I was too nosy and--"

"Obito, Obito! Slow down! Take a deep breath. Ok?" The boy nodded uncertainly. "Yes, we did need to talk about something, but we're back now so that you can try out your new element. Let's go!" He didn't think his happy act was truly fooling anyone except the dark-haired Uchiha and maybe Rin, since she always did have trouble looking people in the eyes. His nerves got even worse when he saw Jiraiya head over to talk to Minato, knowing that he was about to tell him everything that they'd discussed, knowing that he'd be desperate for some advice and help, knowing that he could very easily get himself killed.

And truthfully, he was worried, worried that he might not have the strength to defeat the wrinkly Uchiha without the Kyuubi backing him up, worried that he might not be able to stop the attack on October 10th and that he'd lose his father all over again, and most of all, he was worried that no matter what he did, it might happen, anyway. Even as Naruto activated the temporary seal onto Obito's skin, he had to fight the numbing, trembling terror that seemed to push every rational thought out of his brain. He watched from the corner of his eye as the sage's mouth fell open as his father spoke in a low, quiet voice. Suddenly, he couldn't stop the shaking anymore and he fell to his knees as his breath and heartbeat quickened as he hyperventilated.

"Naruto-san? What's wrong? Naruto? Na--RIN! HELP!!" Obito yelled, almost as scared as the young Namikaze on the ground, and naturally, everyone rushed over.

"Hey, kid, what's the matter?" "Naruto, calm down, take deep breaths." "Oh, no, I BROKE HIM!" "He's going to be fi--Obito, did you just say you broke him?"

"..."

The object of their worries would have listened to more, but they were fading out fast, and he felt so darn tired...so tired...

* * *

Hi! Sorry about the long wait; it was really difficult for me to write this one, but here it finally is. I made it a lot longer to make up for how late it is and I hope you like it! And Obito--gotta love him!

I have made an effort to keep the grammar as correct as possible, but there are probably typos, so if you would be so kind as to point them out if you see them, that'd be great!

Let me know what you think!


	11. Playing Games

Finally, Ch. 11 is up! (Standard "I don't own this, duh" applies)

* * *

_Dear Hinata,_

_ Well, I don't really know how else to say this except to come right out with it. By the time you get this, I'll be dead. You more than anyone knew what was going on with the seal, and it reached a point where this was the only option left. But hey, we had some good years, at least, and that was more than I ever thought to have, more than I ever deserved. Now, you can't go getting all depressed about this, ok? Hibiki and Shou are going to need you more than ever, and you don't want to let them or me down, right? Oh, and don't even think of going all timid and shy again; it took forever for you to break yourself out of that mess! By the way, the first time I ever heard you yell at a store clerk for trying to overcharge you, I did a little victory dance. Oh, and when you slapped that moron through a concrete wall for trying to grope you, well, that's when I truly started falling in love with you. Then, when you punched me clear across the village for, um, accidentally showing up on the wrong side of a hot springs in my sexy jutsu transformation, that's when I knew for sure you were the one for me. You know, as cheesy as it sounds, you remind me of the wind: gentle unless provoked by something else, and since my element is wind, well...you know what I mean. Don't laugh! I've never been one for fancy words and all, but it's times like this that I wish I could be. It's times like this when I remember you walking out of the Hyuuga compound after confronting, challenging, and ultimately beating the snot out of every single one of those stuck-up Main House elder-jerks and wish I could say something--anything--remotely intelligent. So here it is, the most intelligent thing I could think to say that might shape the future of society for generations to come: Don't forget to prank Neji!_

Naruto's eyes were slowly beginning to open, but it was difficult--his lids felt so heavy! He groaned with the effort and kept trying, not actually expecting anyone to hear him struggling with such a simple task.

"Naruto?" Rin said hesitantly. She didn't seem afraid, exactly. More like cautious, which meant they probably were safe and hadn't been attacked. _Good. Not sure if I could move right now._

"Yo," he managed. Seriously, why was he so exhausted?

"How are you feeling?"

"Just a little tired. Other than that, I'm fine. What happened?" _Well, I __**hope**__ I'm fine._

Jiraiya responded quickly but with surprising gentleness. "A little tired? Kid, you collapsed. We were all worried sick." _Eh??_

"Collapsed? Wait, why?" His eyes finally opened and he saw that it was night. Looked like they'd ended up staying in that field, too; they probably hadn't wanted to move him. He couldn't see the others, though, since he was having trouble moving his head to check. _Seems kinda like chakra exhaustion, but that can't be right. I hardly used any! Plus, even without the old furball I recover much faster than any other shinobi would. I'm still always ok within a day or two. Makes me think that wasn't all Kyuubi's doing._

As Naruto discussed his situation internally, the medic-nin looked him straight in the eyes before asking her own questions. "Naruto, how much sleep have you been getting lately?"

He froze. That question was completely unexpected, not to mention unappreciated. "Enough. Why?"

The truth would have been more along the lines of: not much. But hey, he was entitled to some secrets. And if Minato never noticed that he usually left a clone in his place at nights, well... Naruto just couldn't sleep well and nightmare-free unless he was on a mission, he completely exhausted himself, or Hinata knocked him unconscious with her family's techniques. Once again, these were not things his teammates needed to know. Besides, with the occasional cat nap and his unbelievable stamina, he'd always been fine before. Till now, apparently.

"I don't believe you." Her tone made him suspicious; she'd always been nice, but there was an extra layer of concern and irritation that bugged him. Not. Their. Business.

"Believe what you want. Look, I feel wide awake now, so I'm going to see if I can get some training in--"

Jiraiya cut in again (and with a far less gentle voice), much to the blonde's annoyance. "No, you won't. Kid, I don't know where you got the idea that you could push yourself this much, but based on what Rin's examination found, you just passed out from a combination of stress and exhaustion. Care to explain?"

_Uh, no._ The teen-slash-adult had had more than enough of people's nosy habits for one day. Not only that, but he just didn't feel up to playing 20 Questions with it being still too hard to move. He answered his future-slash-past sensei with silence and a glare, his expression a clear statement of _"When Hell freezes over."_ The glare he sent could very well have sent said location into an ice age.

"Geez, boy! You act like we're trying to sabotage you or something! A lack of adequate sleep combined with the stress of what you think your mission in life is," Naruto's hand clenched at that, "and the mission we're on right now, well, it'd be enough to break anyone down. What do you think you are, immortal?"

Well, shoot, if this weren't the peaches and cream to top off his day. Eyes flashing in anger, he turned to the pervert to let loose a few choice words. "Immortal? No, my best friend helped drive that lesson into my head--or should I say lung--a long time ago! I don't need you telling me what is and isn't good for my health; I'm not some incapable toddler, so leave it alone."

"Nope, sorry, can't do that, Naruto. Despite how you grew up, you should know that we take care of our own, so you are GOING to take a nice, long nap, whether it's voluntary or forced, and we're not moving one inch further towards the border until you've recovered. And since I'm the highest ranking shinobi here, I'm giving the orders and you will obey. Understood!" Geez, the Toad Man was scary! It'd been a long time since Naruto had been on that training trip with his old master, so this side of him would take some time getting used to once again. Quite frankly, without the Sage Mode available to him (what excuse could he possibly have for using THAT?), he wasn't sure if he could beat the old sannin. Equal him? Sure. Take him out? Rasenshuriken, check. But to take him down without taking him out? Um, no.

But that did give him an idea. Maybe he could convince the sage to train him in using Nature chakra. It'd have to be an even trade, of course. Perhaps Naruto could help him with his books--an unlimited supply of "inspiration" with his shadow clones and Sexy Jutsu, as disgusting as it was to the blonde, would probably be more than a few points in his favor...

Still, all that would have to wait. In the meantime, it was best to listen to him, since he was usually right about things like this. Besides, he wasn't so arrogant as to completely ignore sound advice (or orders) when they actually made sense. Although, he **would** grumble about it. "Look, believe it or not, I've been training that way ever since I can remember; it's gotten me to where I am now. But I will admit that I'm not usually this stressed and I do typically get a lot more sleep, so I'll take your advice for now. Just don't expect me to jump for joy or throw a parade about it. And get some sleep yourselves, especially you, Rin--you worry as much as I do. I'm fine, so relax."

With that, Naruto heard a collective sigh of relief; apparently, those who hadn't taken part in the "discussion" had been listening from their bed rolls. Both Jiraiya and the young medic looked like they felt as though a weight had just dropped off their shoulders, and strangely...so did he. Without the Kyuubi to take care of his wounds and exhaustion, he had to be more careful. Recklessness against his enemies would now only get him killed.

The boy drifted off into sleep, and for the first time in weeks, it was dreamless.

* * *

The sun was bright the next day, and everyone was hot and sweating. Although, it wouldn't do for _him_ to show such a ridiculous weakness. No, no, Kakashi refused to ever do anything to tarnish the family reputation he was struggling to rebuild. Thankfully, while he did have to deal with the annoying gossip, he didn't have to deal with people rejecting him and pretending he didn't exist. They'd stopped all that after his father's funeral. Plus, he was their resident genius and all the girls loved him, dark, mysterious, and brooding boy that he was. Kakashi estimated it'd take him a minimum of fifteen years to wipe the stain of his father's mistakes off of the family name. How irritating. At the very back of the group, he glared at the chunin in front of him.

Kakashi strongly suspected that it was mostly Obito's fault that it was taking so long. The Uchiha reject did little but hold him and his team back. The twit could never seem to improve no matter what he did, either, and resorted to pulling pathetic pranks to make him feel better about his failures. At least Rin's medical skills came in handy, but the runt? Ha! Not likely. What a waste of--

"Hey, Naruto." Obito's whispering interrupted his internal rant. Naruto. Now there was someone who'd grabbed Kakashi's interest! The teen standing next to the dead-last was a contradiction in more ways than one and did little but confuse his notions of a good ninja.

"Yeah?" the blonde whispered back. Obscenely powerful, and not just for his age, according to his sources...

"Minato-sensei and Jiraiya-sama are looking pretty serious, wouldn't you say?" ...clearly brilliant in a tactical sense...

"Hmmm. Whatcha thinkin' about?" ...decent leadership skills...

"Water balloons!" ...and absolutely no common sense.

"Great idea, Obito! I've got a few left over from learning the Rasengan. You take Minato and I'll take the giant perv, ok?"

"Deal," said the Uchiha with an evil grin. _Why is it that he destroys everything he comes across?_ He watched as Naruto took out a sealing scroll, removed two filled balloons, and handed one to his partner in crime to throw at the two men leading the group.

_I mean, Sensei's nephew is so strong! Why couldn't they replace Obito with him? Even if he's not less obnoxious, at least he'd be more useful and stop dragging everyone down! And he might even decide to teach me a few of his more effective moves, too, rather than wasting his time on that nobody._

SPLASH!

SPLASH!

"HEY!!" the two outraged men screamed, hair and clothes sopping. The two perpetrators turned their heads, put their hands behind their backs, and whistled. "Yeah, right, like that's not completely obvious, boys!" Minato yelled.

But the two boys stopped dead in their tracks, turned and looked at each other, grinned, _winked_, and stuck out their tongues at the angry men, who did their best to ignore the youngsters as they continued walking on ahead. _How immature,_Kakashi thought with contempt. And to think that one of the instigators was close to being on par with the sannin...how could that be? He was such an idiot! And he was teaching Obito how to use wind chakra. At the moment, the dead-last was attempting to cut a leaf in half. _Interesting. So, it's not as though anyone with that seal can just automatically use the element; it still requires training and mastery, just like any other. Seems like more trouble than it's worth, especially since it's temporary, but perhaps..._

"Naruto-san, may I ask you a question?" Kakashi said in a tone completely devoid of emotion.

"You just did," the grinning blonde replied, "but go ahead and ask as many as you want." _I'll be sure to remember that, Namikaze._

"What are the weaknesses of using that element seal?" That got both the Uchiha's and the two older seal masters' attention. Rin just continued staring at the ground as she walked, seemingly lost in her thoughts. _Probably of me,_ the silver-haired chunin assumed.

Naruto appeared to think it over for a moment. "Hmmm...well, for one thing, it only allows one element at a time. For example, Obito's main one may normally be fire, but right now, the only thing he can use is wind. And it's temporary. At best, the seal lasts a week before it has to be changed, or until the user runs out of chakra."

"Would it not be possible to create several different elemental seals, learn them, and then switch them out during a fight?" Kakashi wondered out loud.

"No, it's not that it's not possible. You see, it would take too much time for that. Real battles rely on moments, and the thirty seconds it would take to activate it would only put yourself at risk. Not only that, but the activation itself drains energy. Only someone with a large chakra reserve could even hope to fight efficiently using it. Also, you'd have to be trained in that specific element in the first place. The whole thing takes a lot of time, energy, focus, and patience that most people simply don't have. Their main use is for training, not fighting."

"Training?" a fascinated Minato spoke, with a smile on his face. "How can it be used for that?"

"Well, if wind is used by making the chakra as thin and sharp as possible, and fire is about heat, then what do you get when you combine the two, even if there is no actual wind present?"

Everyone paused. Surprisingly, Rin was the first to answer. "You get very sharp chakra--maybe even a blade--that will burn through almost anything, even if it doesn't make the flame itself any stronger."

Naruto's grin was huge. "Exactly!" Seemingly satisfied with that explanation, he started walking towards their destination again. Kakashi's mind was reeling with the possibilities. He was talking about shape manipulation! This blonde airhead-slash-genius was training the dead-weight both elemental and shape manipulation! Maybe he could use this information for his own techniques.

Sounding somewhat shocked, Minato asked, "You mean that you're combining both shape and nature at the same time?? I've been trying to do that for years! How in the world did you manage?"

"Huh? Um, practice, I guess?" he replied sheepishly.

"Wrong," Jiraiya spoke up. "Practice won't work if you don't have the instincts for it. But that depends on the technique's level, too. It's like you trying to combine the Rasengan with lighting, Minato. As hard as you've worked on it for years, you're still pretty far away from completing it."

Minato nodded. "It's like trying to look left and right at the same time, which is why I have such a hard time believing that Naruto can pull it off!"

"Well," Naruto interrupted, "like Jiraiya-pervert said, it's not that high of a technique; it's just a B-level at its completed stage. Obito can learn it, I'm sure. And I might have an idea for that thing with the Rasengan, but I'll tell you later."

"What else can be done with things like that?" he asked, walking after the jonin.

"Huh? Oh, um, learning how to use wind chakra to make the other elements sharper really only works with fire and water, as far as I know. Don't really know how to explain it, but that's all I've bothered to figure out."

Obito finally found his voice. "Is that how you learned those different elemental blades?"

"Yup! And while it is possible to learn them without knowing how to use wind, it's not nearly as easy. I guess you could say you're learning a shortcut."

Silent for a moment, the dark-haired chunin said, "But what if I'd asked to learn a different element instead, say, earth?"

"Then I'd teach you how to pick up clumps of dirt using only your chakra." Naruto shrugged. "I've actually never learned it myself, but I've heard that's the right way to teach it."

"It is one of the methods," Minato called, "but it's not used very often. Most people prefer to break down a rock's components and turn it into a pile of dirt using only chakra."

Both boys just blinked at though he'd spoken a foreign language. _My teammate is such an idiot. And so is the blonde airhead teaching him! How did I get stuck with people like this?? I'm never gonna get stronger..._

"Anyway," Naruto continued, pointedly ignoring the explanation, "you didn't ask and I didn't really think you would, so there's no point in going on about that right now. But how are you coming with that leaf?"

Before the Uchiha could say anything, Kakashi interrupted. "Naruto-san," he said, trying so very, very hard to be respectful to the nit-wit, "my main element is lightning. Do you know of any **useful** techniques I could learn?" Ok, so it was a little rude. Big deal. He deserved it.

Naruto just smiled, but it was a somewhat...painful one. "I only know _of_ them; I can't actually do any myself."

"But you have those seals. Surely, you could learn more elements even if you could only use them with one of the seals on?"

"I ran out of time and didn't really need it afterwards, anyway," he said simply, clearly not keen on discussing his thoughts, but Kakashi wasn't really interested in those, anyway.

"I see. What about the ones you know of?"

This time, the older boy's expression grew somewhat thoughtful and...something else that was hard to identify. "My best friend plowed one through my chest when I was younger. I guess you could say I know a little bit about that one. Anything else you want to ask?" His voice was surprisingly polite and calm. And yet, there was that same something else behind it. As much as he wanted to, the chunin just couldn't seem to identify it, though it was strangely familiar.

Everything paused and no one spoke. At the same time, Kakashi recalled the jonin's words from yesterday. Was that--

"That's what you were talking about last night, isn't it? What...happened?" Jiraiya ventured.

"Yes, it was. And, to answer your second question: Simple," Naruto replied with the same expressions as before, "he wanted power and thought he had to kill me to get it. That's all there was to it. Heck, the whole thing was almost completely impersonal. Could've been anybody, really, just as long as it was someone he considered a friend. Breaking bonds and all that, you know." An edge of bitterness emerged at that last statement.

He refused to say anything more on the subject, but Kakashi didn't believe it to be necessary, anyway. A lighting technique that could stab another in the chest to nearly kill such a powerful person...he wanted it. Badly. _Let's see, it'd probably need to combine both shape and nature manipulation to be powerful enough to do all that, so--_

But the blonde broke his musings, blue eyes distant as though deep in his thoughts. "I wonder where he ended up. For awhile there, I thought he was dead, but then...maybe he was still alive, after all." He looked up at the clouds for a moment. "Still, he would never have--"

"What are you talking about, Naruto-san?" Rin interrupted. She had a knack for picking up interesting gossip and completely useless tidbits of information that drove Kakashi nuts.

The teen jonin literally jumped. "Huh?? Oh! I was just thinking out loud. Nothing to worry about," he said, attempting to laugh it off while nervously scratching the back of his head, just as Minato often did. In fact, the more Kakashi observed, the more it seemed as though he was his sensei's son more than his nephew. A vastly less intelligent son, that is.

All those in front of him still glanced back occasionally as they were walking, though. Apparently, Kakashi wasn't the only one who found Naruto's words somewhat suspicious. Or, in Rin's case, intriguing. She was a nice girl and all--albeit a little weak--but she just loved gossip. And helpless kittens, rabbits, mice, even the occasional goldfish...it was really kind of pathetic. _Why doesn't she just become a vet and get it over with? She'd do a better job at that than being a ninja. I mean, look what happened last time she had to kill an enemy! We can't have that on the battlefield! No wonder this team sucks. There's a dead-weight Uchiha and a whimpy medic holding me and Minato-sensei back. Things sure were a lot easier when it was just the two of us._

And everyone kept walking in silence. Kakashi kept thinking. Power...that's what he'd said his best friend was after. While the young chunin couldn't agree with the mysterious boy's methods, he didn't see how seeking to become stronger was a bad thing. After considering this for a few minutes, he turned to his new teammate and told him so.

Naruto stopped dead in his tracks and grabbed Kakashi's arm gently to stop him, too. The others either didn't notice or decided to let them figure it out as they kept walking on ahead.

"Kakashi," he began, "the way I see it, strength and power can be two different things. Strength is what you find in others and what they give to you; until you find yourself fighting to protect those precious to you," and here the blonde got that far-away look in his eyes again, "you'll never experience true strength. Power is more like the ability to use jutsu and fight, and there's nothing wrong with that, but when it's your only focus, well, that's how psychopaths are made--take my word for it. And someone with nothing but power can always be defeated by those fighting for their precious people."

_Uh...huh. As if I care to hear what you have to say. And yet, he's strong, so strong that he's perhaps the youngest jonin the Hidden Leaf has ever had, on par with the Toad Sage himself! But is that really where he gets his strength--from others? We'll see, Naruto. We'll see._

They hurried to catch up with the others after that, and Kakashi kept thinking to himself. He wasn't stupid; prideful, yes, but not so much that he couldn't handle advice if it made him stronger. Still, what Naruto was saying seemed like the exact same thing that his father had done, and look where it got him. He would watch and see whose way was truly so, the teen had done something only a very few had ever been able to before. _Naruto Namikaze, you have gained my respect. At least until you decide to throw another water balloon at Sensei, that is._

...which both he and the Uchiha did ten minutes later. They laughed as they ran from the sannin and the Legendary Yellow Flash. They didn't get very far (the Yellow Flash didn't get his nickname for being slow, after all), but the laughter made Kakashi feel funny. He really, really hoped the whole trip wouldn't be this way. His sanity could only take so much of the combined efforts of THEM.

* * *

_La dee da dee la da dee,_ hummed the infamous Uchiha prankster. He was having such a great day! He was learning how to use wind chakra from his newest sensei (not that he'd ever say that out loud, of course), they had gotten their two leaders with some fun surprises, and best of all...Naruto had promised to teach him some of his kick-a..um, kick-butt techniques. (Rin had been getting onto him about his language; he figured he could make an effort to clean it up for her...no matter how irritating it was getting.) YAY!!

But he also wanted to learn more. The two of them thought alike and Naruto was one of the very few that didn't either frustrate him or get frustrated with him. Even Minato-sensei had only been able to somewhat manage the first one. _Geez, how am I supposed to respect a guy who can't even tell when he's being conned out of food?? Genius or not, he's got a lot to learn._ However, that thought gave Obito some ideas. Naruto had learned Rasengan, too, right? Well, why couldn't he teach him? All he had to do was give his team leader the puppy-dog eyes and he'd allow it for sure!

"Hey, Naruto!" Obito rarely used any honorifics after his name; the blonde actually seemed to prefer it, kind of like Minato-sensei.

"Yo?"

"Um, well, I was thinking and I don't want to be greedy or anything, but, uh...I WANT TO LEARN RASENGAN WILL YOU TEACH ME RASENGAN PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, there! That's Minato-sensei's special technique that he created himself. Don't you think it'd be better to ask him instead?" _Of course I should, but I don't __**want**__ to._

Indeed, their team leader glanced back in their direction for a moment with a strange expression on his face. It was more curious than anything, but not so much regarding the technique. No, it was all focused on his nephew, wondering what his only relative would do.

Obito replied, "Sensei's busy right now. Plus, you know how my brain works."

"**When** it works," muttered Kakashi, almost too quietly for him to overhear. Almost.

Obito shot him a glare that dared him to say one more word, just one, and he'd skewer him.

Sensei spoke up without turning around. "If you want to teach him, Naruto, that's fine. Just don't take any lip from him!"

"But you're working on elemental mastery right now. Can't really do two things at the same--" Naruto cut off suddenly, as though a thought or an idea had struck him. He hit his open palm with his fist. "Obito, how much chakra do you have?"

"I don't know. Enough, I guess. Why?"

"I mean, how much do you have compared to, say, Kakashi?" he corrected.

"More than he has, I think. Why?" he repeated.

The blonde rubbed his chin curiously. "Do you know how to make Shadow Clones?"

_Eh? What's that got to do with anything?_ "No."

At that, the younger Namikaze turned to him with a grin. "Then that's going to be first on the agenda!"

"Um, I hate to keep asking this, but WHY?"

Ahead of them, Minato and Jiraiya were actually chuckling as they strode towards the Iwa border. Obviously, Obito was missing something. He tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for his preferred sensei to answer.

"So you can learn both at the same time, of course. Here, I'll show you how to concentrate your chakra so that you can use them without hand seals." That statement really had Obito bug-eyed with excitement as everyone else tried to inconspicuously listen in. But no one stopped walking this time; after all, they were on a schedule. "You know how to make a regular clone, right?"

"Um...yeah, but they take a lot of concentration, so I don't like to make them."

Instead of the usual insults and suggestions that he should go back to the academy, Naruto smiled. "Great! Then you'll love this! Keep an image of yourself in your mind and think of pouring chakra into it like pouring water into a cup. Then, take it and push it out. The clone should appear without any need for seals, just as long as you can keep the image in your head and fill it all the way. Some of the method just requires some good instincts, but mostly it's imagination, and you have that in spades, so you should be able to do it."

Now everyone was bug-eyed and staring. And yet, they were still walking mechanically along the road...and no one was paying attention to where they were stepping...which would explain why Jiraiya tripped, pulled Minato down with him, and the rest followed like dominoes. Obito couldn't complain; he'd managed to land right on Rin, lips first. _A dream come true! My first kiss, accident or not, was with RIN!!_

She didn't share his enthusiasm. "Get. Off. Me."

A cold sweat broke out on his forehead. It took a lot for the medic to get **that** tone of voice. "He he...sorry, Rin! It was an accident! I didn't mean to! I'd never do something like that! Not that it was bad or anything--I mean, um, uh--"

"JUST GET OFF!"

Oh. Right. _Gulp._

He stood up, only to look and see the amused chuckles of his comrades. Except for Kakashi. Mr. Ice-In-His-Veins showed the same emotion as always: nothing. Needless to say, the Uchiha's face took on a distinctly red shade for quite awhile afterwards, and only partially because of the handprint.

Anyway, after THAT embarrassing episode, he decided to get to work on the Shadow Clones. It was hard for him to believe that he could master a more difficult version of regular clones (without hand signs, no less) when it was so hard to get the basic one down, but hey if it worked for Naruto, it was worth a shot. Besides, if it didn't work, he could always pelt the older kid with rocks. That would make him feel better. In fact, he'd better add Kakashi to that list, also. The more, the merrier!

_Alright, an image of myself, goggles and all...Got it! What'd he mean by filling it with chakra? Maybe I imagine myself pouring it in the image?...Hmmm. Not quite. OH! It's about gathering chakra into that shape in my mind first and then releasing it out into the open air! I get it! _ And just like that, a tangible copy of himself stood by his side._ Boy, it's a lot easier than I thought it'd be._ Actually, the more he thought about it, the less sense it made; the method was too weird. But those were questions for another day. What did he care? He had his clone!

"I dub thee chibi-Obito, learner of the Rasengan, capturer of the hearts of many, ninja extraordinaire, the fabulous, the one and only--"

"Obito, just shut up and learn the technique already," Naruto interrupted with laughter in his voice as he tossed him a water balloon. Apparently, the teen had more than just a few of them left over.

"Spoil my fun, why don't you. Fine." Then, the clone listened as the blonde jonin explained the fundamentals of the first step. Obito would never tell Naruto that he'd already been practicing it for some time after seeing Minato teaching Kakashi.

"The idea is to get the water inside the balloon to spin in a bunch of different directions--think clockwise--until it pops. After you've gotten that part, we'll have to stop at a town or something for the next one. I only brought these along for fun; I didn't think they'd actually be used for training," he added sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

But then, the teen's eyes brightened. "You know, come to think of it...I do believe that I put a little neon pink paint in one of those. Hmmm...I wonder which--"

_SPLASH!_

"Ah! There it is!"

The explosion of paint got both the clone and its creator right in the face. But while the clone could simply dispel, the original couldn't. Obito turned to give Naruto his most evil and terrifying glare. Too bad the pink liquid dripping off his bangs and nose ruined the effects. "DARN YOU!! I can't believe you just did that to ME, your partner in master pranks! You and I could rule the world together and here you are, betraying me!!"

"Hey, look at that! You completed the first stage of the Rasengan in less than an hour!" he replied, utterly ignoring the Uchiha's complaint, but also clearly holding back a smirk.

He gritted his teeth. "Do any more of those balloons have paint of _any_ color in them?" Despite his anger, the boy always made sure to use whatever life (or annoying Namikazes) sent his way. And judging by the blonde's evil grin, he was going to gain quite the arsenal.

_YEAH!! THE PRANK MASTERS RULE!!_ "Alright, my Eternal Rival," he spoke without thinking, "let the games being!" The others' shocked, worried, and slightly disgusted faces cued him in. He paused, then...

"AHHH!!! NO! NO, NO, NO! GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD! OUT, OUT, OUT!!"

Rin was in tears, muttering something about there being no cure. Naruto was shuddering in horror (which confused Obito, since the blonde had never met Gai). Minato and Jiraiya were both trying not to look at each other in shock and fear. Kakashi, though...

"You and that other loser have been hanging out too much. Unless you want to end your days dressed in green spandex, I suggest you repent of the error of your ways. And soon. Before it infects the rest of the team," he said, his voice just as cold as his veins as he threw a glance at Naruto.

Just the thought of the blonde powerhouse in green tights made Obito fall to his knees in laughter. _Oh, boy, who would'a thought! I think I've finally found a way to get under The Living Dead's skin! Hehehe..._

* * *

Contrary to popular belief within the village, the Hokage's job was not one of glorious heroics by day and sweet dreams by night. There were no princesses to save from dragons, no castles to storm with fearless abandon, and no swimsuit models hanging off his arm. It was...most distressing.

Paperwork, paperwork, and more useless, driveling, sniveling paperwork. If Hiruzen Sarutobi had known being the Sandaime involved a bunch of useless bureaucracy and politics, he might have just told Tobirama Senju to stuff it. But then, Danzo would've gotten it. What kind of alternative is that?? _I suppose this is the lesser of two evils,_ Sarutobi sighed to himself as he signed a mission report and reached for another.

But as irritating as that part of his job was, there was something far, far more terrible looming in his mind.

Orochimaru.

The scroll Naruto had left behind detailed exactly where to find his various hide-outs spread throughout and just beyond the borders of the village. The most shocking part is that some were actually INSIDE their walls. How had they not noticed that? Unless the blonde was lying, of course.

Except, he wasn't. They'd already found the entrance to one, exactly where he'd said it would be.

That didn't prove anything, though. It didn't prove that there was anything illegal or...inhumane...behind those doors. It just proved that Naruto was very observant and had noticed the area...which was twenty-five feet underground with the only entrance being guarded by a very powerful genjutsu. And all under Orochimaru's own house. Heck, maybe it wasn't a base at all. Some people did have basements, after all. And shinobi were pretty well-known for having hiding places in their homes for their family secrets and all. Really, it didn't prove anything except that Naruto was a trespasser. Right?

Sarutobi desperately, desperately hoped so. He couldn't know for sure until it was opened, though, and it had quite the seal arrangement over it. They couldn't even deactivate the genjutsu without disrupting the entire thing; a Hyuuga had had to point out its existence to them. Until Jiraiya returned, they weren't about to touch any of it.

Unless Orochimaru returned first. That didn't seem likely, though; he and his apprentice were leading a skirmish against Iwa ninjas, a distraction planned specifically for the mission he'd sent Jiraiya and the others on. Too bad he'd sent his most gifted student on ahead before meeting with Naruto.

But wait, why should he trust the blonde, anyway? So what if genetics proved he was from the future? He only SAID he was an ally, but what if Minato's son had turned against the village and had only somehow popped up in their decade to bring the nation down? He did say that his childhood had been pretty rotten...

The Hokage slammed his hand on the desk, the mission report blurring before his eyes. He didn't remember a word it said. The old man was grasping at straws and he knew it. His student had been acting more and more suspicious, and several of his teammates had disappeared recently. If Naruto was right, they--or what was left of them--would be just behind those doors they'd found.

Oh yes, this job was pure sunshine and sugar.

A rather loud knock sounded at the doors of his office. "Come in," he told the guest. His two former teammates and now self-styled advisors walked in, their self-important airs making him grit his teeth in annoyance. _It just HAD to be them. Here. Today. THEM, of all people!_ Sarutobi seriously didn't have the patience to deal with their arrogant attitudes. But appearances had to be kept up (for the moment), so he set down his pen and set the mission reports off to the side, speaking kindly. "Homura and Koharu, what can I do for you?"

She sniffed. "You can explain to us what you think you are doing allowing an unknown boy into our ninja ranks." Homura nodded, agreeing with her statement.

The Third's eye twitched, but his voice stayed the same. "Our ninja? I was under the impression that they were all my ninja and therefore under my jurisdiction. Was I mistaken?"

"Do you even know anything about this child? Other than the fact that he is related to Minato Namikaze somehow? Is that all this is? An attempt to expand the Namikaze bloodline here in the Hidden Leaf Village?"

"Homura is right," Koharu insisted. "And to assign him the level of jonin without a proper test or even any REAL information on his background is incompetent to say the least! I find it hard to believe that you, of all people, would be so reckless."

Sarutobi stared at them, trying very, very hard not to slug the two back out the doors they'd come in. His voice lost all semblance of politeness and turned to steel. "I know exactly who he is, where he is from, and why he is here. And as for not being given a proper test, I had him spar against Jiraiya himself, and Naruto showed his abilities to be on or even perhaps above his level. From what I could see, the young Namikaze went _easy_ on the sannin. Is that a proper enough test to satisfy you, **advisors**?" His stressing of the last word did not go unnoticed. The threat was clear: I am in charge; all you two can do is give advice, not dictate what will and will not happen or criticize me.

They exchanged an uncomfortable glance with each other. Koharu was the first to throw her two cents' worth in. "Sarutobi, would you at least mind explaining to us what you know about him? Everyone in the Council is furious that they were not informed of these developments until he had already been assigned as a jonin, and now we've just heard that he'll be given his own team! What kind of nonsense is this!? Do you wish to lose the trust of your people, the trust that you have worked on for decades? Is that--"

"SILENCE!" he thundered, standing up from his chair in rage. "The Council that you speak of is the Civilian Council, and as such, they should concern themselves with civilian affairs. These are ninja matters and therefore none of their business. And if I choose to assign one of MY shinobi a team, then that is MY prerogative, not yours or theirs. Do I make myself clear."

She gulped slightly, but Homura was still stubbornly clinging to his supposed authority. "And what of this genin team you're giving a ninja that didn't even exist until a month ago? Are you willing to trust an unknown quantity with the next generation?"

With that, the Hokage smiled. "Who said I was giving him a genin team?"

* * *

Minato was shocked. Obito had already completed the first stage of the Rasengan in the first day--no, the first hour of Naruto teaching him. The pink paint was proof of that, even if it was just a clone. But he didn't say anything and just kept walking, chatting with Jiraiya and Rin occasionally. She always had the best gossip. Recently, it seemed that Inoichi's girlfriend was quite upset with him for cutting holes in certain, ahem, undergarments of hers. The medic, however, guessed the true guilty party was his friend Kushina. But Yamanaka was the head of the interrogation department; he could fend for himself.

It also seemed that Obito had recently had his headband superglued to his wall in retaliation for something involving cotton candy and sugar water. Apparently, certain other items--such as every pair of underwear he owned--had been glued to the ceiling, as well. _I thought he looked awfully uncomfortable one day..._

Oh, but that wasn't all the gentle girl had been able to uncover. No, not by a long shot. Jiraiya had been visiting the hot springs. And he had pictures--hand-drawn,no less--of his little excursions, one of the subjects being the Lady Tsunade herself. Another being of...Kushina. Minato's head jerked towards his sensei at that, and the glare he sent the sage's way could have frozen the sun.

Never mind the fact that he wanted to see those particular drawings, it was wrong! It was degrading! It was--"Whoa...beautiful..."

Jiraiya had whipped them right out and shoved them under his student's nose. His **very grateful** student's nose.

Minato snatched them out of his hands. "You do realize that I'm going to have to confiscate these, don't you, Sensei?" he asked, hoping that Rin bought it.

She did. "Yeah! You tell him, Minato-sensei!" she cheered.

The sage played his role perfectly. "I suppose you're right, kid. Looks like I'll be spending a few months in the hospital when we get back..."

The jonin almost laughed. No way was he going to tell Kushina, and his former teacher and best friend knew it. He was keeping those for himself! Well...maybe. It all depended on how much he wanted to risk her wrath. At the very least, he'd have this mission to commit them to memory. He exchanged a wink with Jiraiya as Rin resumed her chatter.

But Minato's mind went elsewhere. Kushina, the last of the Uzumaki clan of Whirlpools. The country had been overrun five years ago by Iwa nins, leaving little but devastation in their paths. What few people had survived had been lead to the Hidden Leaf Village by Kushina's own hand. Not only was she the last Uzumaki, but she was also the last shinobi, period. That was because her clan had traditionally been charged with protecting the people; they were the guards, the police, and the entire army. She'd told him it had been so ingrained into their people that it was almost instinct to protect the civilian's lives at the cost of their own. That arrangement had worked well until the Third Ninja War hit right after a horrible famine. The civilians had integrated well into Leaf society, finding whatever refuge they could with their homes in ruin. One couple in particular had caught Minato's attention.

The woman had pink hair. According to his lady friend, they had come from a family of wealthy artisans and were already making quite the living continuing their business in their new home. Haruno, he thought the name was, and apparently, the hair color was a family trait that (thankfully) so far only showed up in girls. Still, they were a frugal couple, and Sarutobi had already placed the man on the Civilian Council, saying that he made more sense than most of the senseless morons that did nothing but twiddle their thumbs.

And then there were the--

"Hey, Minato-sensei!" his young nephew suddenly called out.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Can we head to a town nearby? Since Obito finished the first part so quickly and prettily," the blonde snickered, "I was thinking that we could go ahead with the next step. What do you say?"

Well, that made sense. But he didn't deny that it was somewhat hurtful that Obito had little interest in learning from him and yet would beg his nephew to teach him his techniques. Minato had noticed the slight lack of respect from the Uchiha and he'd never quite figured out why. Surely he'd bought the kid enough ramen to get on his good side by now! Still, at least he was wanting to learn now.

"Alright," he said, "we'll stop at this next town, but I warn you, the place is little more than a giant gambling hall. It won't be much fun."

Naruto smiled. "No problem! How long till we get there?"

"A few more hours. How long do these seals of yours last, anyway?" Jiraiya answered for him.

The teen shrugged. "Either till they're deactivated or have been running for more than a few months. Weather won't affect them, so you don't have to worry about that."

Minato nodded. Impressive. There weren't too many seal masters left in the world, and this boy was well on his way to becoming one, if he wasn't already. Which, the more he thought about it, was interesting.

He stared at his young family member in fascination. Sealing at that level took years of practice; even he'd had a difficult time learning some of it, and he was in his 20s! _I guess those Shadow Clones really do come in handy, then, but just how many did he say he could create? If he can make over 100 each day, well, he'll be ahead of me in no time!_ The Yellow Flash kept his thoughts to himself, but he noticed the sannin looking at him with the same expression as his own. Apparently, they were both thinking along the same lines.

And Naruto was still only 13 years old. "I'm glad he's on our side," he muttered to the sage. Rin had noticed their lack of attention and had decided to read a medical book she'd brought along.

"I'm telling ya," he muttered right back. "The little twerp probably really could take out the village in one shot if he really wanted to."

Minato nodded. Somehow, that claim didn't sound the least bit crazy now.

"You know, I think he was going easy on me," Jiraiya continued. "He never really tried to beat me in anything; he only tried to _equal_ me. Whatever taijutsu style I used, he'd merely find one that seemed to cancel it out. And the ninjutsu was specifically chosen to be flashy but not beyond any of the techniques I could have used. We didn't even get to genjutsu, although it wouldn't have done much good if we had. I suck at the stuff; can't do much more than break them, and I get the impression that he's the same way. And now there's _this_, his sealing abilities. This kid is off-the-charts amazing. I think that if he'd really wanted to hurt us," his voice dropped to barely a whisper, "he could've done it a thousand times by now."

Minato would have nodded at that if it weren't for the balloon that smashed against his head again. _Haven't we already done this today? Twice, in fact?_ And he still hadn't dried off from last time, either! The jonin reached back his hand to squeeze some of the water out of his golden hair and froze in mid-step.

That wasn't water.

His voice was as neutral as he could make it. "Naruto, what color paint was in that balloon?"

The snickers informed him that whatever color it was, it was embarrassing. He had to know. "It's not pink, is it?"

"Oh, no, it's not pink," Obito informed him.

"Good, at least it's not THAT bad," Minato sighed in relief.

"It's lavender."

L..lavender. N-no. It was...almost too horrible for words. Almost. There was one word that was perfectly appropriate for it.

"NARUTOOOO!!!"

Jiraiya just laughed.

* * *

Rin watched with amusement as Naruto darted around the group, zigging and zagging in an effort to escape his uncle's grasp, the uncle who was trailing sparkling paint as he ran, a few drops of which managed to land right in Kakashi's silvery-grey hair, thanks to a rambunctious squirrel that he turned his head to watch at just the right moment.

Kakashi didn't notice.

And she wasn't about to tell him just how good the color looked on him. Rin liked living just a little too much for that, thank you. But she did chuckle to herself once she realized that she was the only one who _had_ noticed.

Obito was dodging a bit, too, but mostly just to see if he could clobber their sensei with another paint balloon while he was focused on catching his nephew. _I wonder what color it'll be this time,_ she thought to herself, holding back a chuckle. Obito was always like that, cheering people up and challenging their assumptions and pride with little more than a phrase...or prank. Rin could honestly say that she was glad to have him on her team.

Just as long as he kept his distance so he didn't fall on her again.

Not that she had hated the event. Oh, no, she could barely keep it out of her mind, whether out of humiliation or...something else, she wasn't sure. But one thing was certain: the boy had some nice lips. And abs. Rin had, ahem, accidentally been feeling him up at the time.

Yup, just an accident.

One that was best forgotten...

...by staring at Kakashi's now lavender-and-orange hair.

After a few seconds of gawking, Rin realized something. Obito had been aiming for him the whole time.

Kakashi's face (what could be seen of it) was turning a fascinating shade of purple that actually seemed to match his hair pretty well. But did he realize he'd been hit with paint and not water?

There was no more holding back her laughter. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

The multi-colored chunin turned to look at her. "What," he demanded.

"You--haha!--mean you haven't noticed it yet?"

Blank eyes stared at her. The girl took that as a no.

"Then...never mind!" she said, still occasionally laughing and chuckling to herself.

And Kakashi traveled the rest of the way to the town with hair that would have put flowers to shame. And Rin? Rin had a new appreciation for the Prank Masters of Konoha.

...not that she'd ever, EVER say that out loud.

* * *

So far, he and Obito had managed to get every single person on the team with at least one balloon. Except Rin. They had an unspoken agreement to avoid her if at all possible. Naruto supposed it was instinct. She was the medic of the team; it was their job to protect her and her job to heal them. Of course they'd avoid her.

Plus, she kind of looked like Sakura with her short hair. Some of her actions were similar, too--such as the whole hitting-Obito-upside-the-head thing. And her secrecy. Sakura and Rin both kept to themselves--kept their information to themselves, kept their lives to themselves, and would keep all to themselves until death.

Rin would never tell her friends about her father just as Sakura would never have told him the truth about Sasuke even under extreme torture. He knew perfectly well that she would never have slept with him willingly, and he would never have forced her. He played along, for her sake and, he suspected, her sanity, but he knew she wasn't being completely honest.

So, that left...Karin. She was the only one who'd have enough contact with Sasuke to get the available...material. Maybe she'd had it with her all along and wanted to get some sort of sick revenge against Sakura and perhaps even the Uchiha himself; Naruto could just imagine it now. In her eyes, the pink-haired girl had kept her away from him, and then he'd betrayed her. What better way to get them both back than to have her incriminated for treachery and have his only offspring either killed outright or used as a tool-slash-weapon for the very village he hated. And Karin had the medical knowledge and expertise to pull it off without a hitch. Maybe Sasuke had been dead for a long time.

It made him sick just thinking about it. So Naruto did what he always did to calm his mind and relax: he pranked...but avoided Rin.

And before long, they arrived at the town.

Minato was right; it was just one big gambling hole. Naruto would bet his life's savings that it was Tsunade's favorite place in Fire Country. Maybe she'd even be there. But wasn't she supposed to be at the hospital taking care of injuries? Or on the front lines, fighting them off? Then again, she was a bit afraid of blood, so...who knew? And there was a very good chance that she'd already left the village and wasn't coming back anytime soon.

The town wasn't exactly huge, but it was big enough to have several gambling districts spread throughout. They all seemed to have some sort of competition over how sleezy they could get. Even Kakashi was showing some emotion--disgust--at the vile establishments. But surely they'd at least have a normal store there; Minato sure seemed to think they would.

"Let's see if we can get some directions for this little maze," Jiraiya suggested.

"Yeah, right, Sensei," Minato replied, "You just want directions to the nearest hot springs and brothel." Everyone chuckled.

The sage, however, was not the least bit ashamed (as he undoubtedly should have been). "Well, of course! The springs are where I get my research and the brothels are where I get my intel, and believe me, kids, there's more than one benefit to--"

"Geez, will you shut up, already? We don't need to hear all that, Pervy-Sage." Naruto had heard that speech before and he had no desire to hear it again. He muttered to himself. "I can't believe the prophecy's about this guy." How in the world had he ever managed to instruct and therefore push both himself and Nagato to change the world? All he did was stare at any X-rated sights he could find! Naruto crossed his arms in frustration. He loved seeing his godfather again, but darn it, this was too much!

He grumbled all the way to the first building. The first thing he noticed was that games of poker were going on in every single corner of the large room. Just poker; nothing else, besides a bar on the left side._ Huh?? No dice, Blackjack, or slot machines? Hmph. Whatever._

Minato (in his altered Sexy Transformation) walked up to the man at the bar. "Excuse me, but do you know where we can find a store that sells--"

The bartender interrupted. "Look, if you want anything, you're going to have to win it. Get me a dozen chips and we'll go from there."

"Well, we'll just head to the next establishment, then." They began walking towards the door but stopped when he spoke up again.

"HA! Good luck with that! We're all the same way, except they'll be sure to charge you more the further you go in. This is a gambling town, you know, so you're gonna have to play by OUR rules."

"And the rules are...?" Kakashi asked, voice tense and irritated.

The man smirked as he polished a glass and set it back on the counter. "If you want it, you have to bet for it."

Naruto just laughed. These guys didn't know what they were getting themselves into. He could handle this, believe it!

"What are you laughing about, Brat?" the bartender snapped at him.

"Oh, nothing," he replied, "except that you're screwed." Then he turned to Jiraiya and Minato (who were looking at him in confusion) and whispered to them. "Guys, let me handle this. I'll get the chips in no time."

"Are you sure, Naruto?" they both asked.

He grinned evilly. "Yup. I never, ever lose." And with that, they gave him some money and he promptly requested to join the game in the far right corner. It had the biggest spenders, as far as he could see, so he showed them how much money he had and they accepted immediately, exchanging them for chips. He made sure to put his dark-colored jacket on the back of his chair.

His team leaned against a wall as they watched one of the players--a woman with bright red hair and green eyes--passed out the cards.

The game had begun.

And it was over before it started.

Naruto exchanged two of his cards and placed his chips on the table, the rest of the players following suit. No one was taking this young teen seriously.

"Isn't it time to change your diaper, kiddy?" one man asked, smirking around his disgusting cigar.

"Isn't it time to get an oxygen tank, Mr. Cancer?" he threw back, bored. The rest of the table laughed, but Naruto noticed his friends looking tense. They couldn't see any of the players' hands from their angle, but there was a lot of money riding on this; of course they'd be worried. _No problem. They'll see._

And indeed they did. The others placed all their hands down: a straight, a full house, a pair of tens, and one with a set of three fives. Then, he put his down: a royal flush.

"WHAT THE--YOU CHEATED!!" Mr. Cancer yelled. Lady Green Eyes just stared and, like everyone else, including his team, her jaw hit the table in shock.

He could hear Obito's incredulous mutter. "Holy crap...he wasn't kidding!"

Naurto just told the man, "And how the heck am I supposed to have cheated? She passed out the cards, I don't have any sleeves to hide them in, and I just got here anyway. So tell me, how did I supposedly cheat?"

"Never mind all that," the woman said. She placed her hands in a familiar sign and yelled "KAI!" Nothing happened. "It's not a genjutsu; those cards are the real deal, and I know he didn't cheat 'cause I was watching him the whole time. If you'd spent less time smoking, you would have known that, too, you idiot!"

"Idiot?!! Why, I oughtta--"

Naruto really didn't feel like witnessing a petty spat, so he quietly collected his earnings and walked away as the whole table erupted into a yelling match. He walked over to Minato. "Can we go now?"

His wide eyes nodded. "Remind me never to be against you," he said in a weak voice.

With grin, he said, "Not a problem, Old Man, not a problem." His father was still so stunned by the magnificent win that he didn't even notice the nickname, but Obito did and snickered.

It didn't last long; someone was getting very irritated by the level of noise at that poker table. "HEY!! Shut it!!" a woman's voice rang out.

A very familiar woman's voice. Every noise ceased.

_Holy crap! You've gotta be kidding me! She really IS here!?_

"Tsunade??" Jiraiya's jaw dropped again. "What the heck are you doing here!"

The blonde-haired, busty woman blinked from her seat. "Jiraiya? I could ask you the same question." Before discussing anything else, however, they decided it'd be in their best interests to be somewhere a little less public. So they all walked back out of the village, where the two sannin smiled and greeted one another--the Senju far less enthusiastically.

"Well, well, well, if this isn't family reunion," Naruto smirked. This was going to be good!

He knew what he had to do, and he best part is that he'd have so much fun in doing it! _Lady Tsunade, I hope you're ready for the biggest wake-up call you've ever gotten._

She snapped. "Hey, who's this little brat think he is!"

"Now, now, Tsunade," the pervert attempted to calm her, "that's Minato-kun's nephew and the Hidden Leaf's newest jonin. He--"

"I couldn't care less about that crap! I was on a winning streak and hat kid caused all that ruckus back there in the--wait a minute. Minato has a nephew? Since when?"

"Since about a month ago," the "uncle" himself broke in. "He sort of popped up out of nowhere."

"Sort of?" Kakashi muttered.

"Yeah, and he's already a jonin!" Obito yelled, just as easily excited as ever.

Tsunade's eyes widened. "You mean Sarutobi-sensei allowed an unknown boy, who has only been here for a month--into the ninja ranks after only a single month of observation!? What the heck is he thinking!"

"Um, he's not your ordinary kid," Minato began.

"What do you mean?"

Naruto decided that it was about time for him to stand up for himself. "Tsundade Senju: 36 years old, granddaughter of the Shodaime Hokage, grandniece to the Nidaime, brother Nawaki and lover Dan killed in the Second Great Shinobi War, terrified of blood, has a supposedly cursed necklace, drinks to excess, is a horrible gambler, known as the Slug Queen and the Legendary Sucker, arguably the best medic the world has ever seen, can shatter boulders with a flick of her finger and cause earthquakes with a stomp of her foot, bad-tempered, sharp-witted, and all-around nice person. Did I leave anything out, Lady Tsunade?"

"...THAT'S what I mean," the Yellow Flash finally got to say.

"Holy...do you have information like that on all of us, kid?" Jiraiya asked.

"Yes," he simply stated. "But just in case you're wondering, I knew all of that long before I showed up in the Hidden Leaf Village. And no, I won't tell you how I learned it all."

"REALLY!? WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ME? TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME!" Obito insisted.

He sighed. This was going nowhere fast. Especially after Kakashi joined in.

"Yes, by all means, Naruto, tell us what you know." His tone was somewhat more, um, threatening.

Rin just stared, probably analyzing all the information she'd just heard.

"Fine," he obliged (partially). "Obito Uchiha: hyperactive prankster, loyal to the death to his friends and his village, kicked out of the Uchiha clan for not agreeing with some of their more...fascinating ideals and propositions," and the boy's eyes widened considerably at this, "has no interest in learning from those he doesn't fully respect, enjoys conning and manipulating people and playing the fool, and has one dream--to be strong enough to protect those precious to him. Oh, and he's also far more competent in ninjutsu than he lets his teammates and team leader believe.

Both said teammates and the team leader gasped. But Naruto wasn't finished.

"Kakashi Hatake: obsessed with supposedly redeeming his family name after his father abandoned a mission to save his comrades and then committed suicide, carries his father's sword with him at all times, wears a mask because he can't stand to see how much he resembles his father, trains night and day in the hopes that he can become stronger, practically worships the shinobi rules and has nothing but contempt for those who don't or are what he considers weak, is suffering from chronic depression, and secretly likes some less than appropriate reading material. Am I right so far?" he asked the young chunin.

Of course, his former/future sensei would never know that he was the one who'd revealed most of this information to him, but it was such a blast to be able to play with the kid's head! _Call it revenge for the Thousand Years of Death he pulled on me when I was 12._

But there was still one more thing he had to do, and it was for Rin. Kakashi-sensei had told him that it hadn't been until her death that they'd known what was going on. If they'd known before... "Rin: registered with no last name in an effort to throw off her father tracking her down, expert in the medical field, perfect chakra control, as affinities to at least two elements, shies away from killing due to seeing her mother slaughtered before her eyes, has an obvious crush on Kakashi Hatake, admires Obito Uchiha and Tsunade Senju, has an I.Q. higher than some Naras, keeps to herself but will fight to the death for her friends, and has more secrets than the Fire Country has trees."

He stopped there for the moment, seeing tears, shock, anger, and pain written all over their various faces, some more than others. His voice had been as gentle as he could make it, and although he had left out his father and the Toad Sage, he figured this would be a good way to break the stagnancy over the team and get them working together for once. Naruto didn't want it to take Obito's death to wake them all up this time, and if he was right, even Minato hadn't known half of what he'd just told them.

He was right. "H-h-how do you know all of that? T-that's stuff no one but me is supposed to know, and some of it I've never even heard of! So how?" Minato asked shakily.

Naruto shrugged. "I told you, I know a lot, and all I've ever wanted to do is help. Konoha is my home; you're my family and team. I don't want to see you all break apart because you're keeping yourselves isolated and hidden from each other. Teams have to have trust. You don't, and that's something I wanted to change, even if you hate me for it. Now you don't have much of a choice!" his voice changed from solemn to happy in a heartbeat, "Now that you've all got dirt on each other, you have to trust them!"

Sweat visibly beaded on the two sannins' heads; they'd stayed quiet throughout the entire thing but now proceeded to speak.

Jiraiya was the first up. "Uh, kid, I don't know how you got all that information, but I definitely want to know exactly whom your contacts are."

He smirked. "Wanting to use my spy network, huh, Old Man? Well, sorry; can't help you there. I don't have one."

The white-haired man's jaw dropped. "Then how the crap did you get your hands on that info!?!?" he shouted, probably far louder than he'd intended to.

Naruto's smile turned sad and almost bitter. "I've had it for a long time, but I had to die for it to be of use."

A calculating look passed over the Slug-princess's face. "Alright, Naruto, if you think we're all so pathetic, then why don't you prove it?"

Inwardly, he chucked evilly. Outwardly, he blinked in confusion. "What do you have in mind?"

"If you can land one punch on me, I'll return to Konoha again and give you my necklace. If you can't, then you agree to have all your chakra sealed."

"WHAT!! Tsunade, you can't be serious!"

"Nah, don't worry about it," the blonde boy interrupted before things could get too intense. "I'm pretty sure I can win."

"Are you nuts?! She's one of the Sannin for a reason, Naruto! There's no way you can beat her!" Rin insisted.

"Uh, actually," Jiraiya broke in, "that's not what I meant." All eyes turned to him. "What I mean is, are you sure you want to lose your grandfather's necklace, Tsunade? Because you definitely will."

Obito started snickering. "Yeah, I don't think you want to lose that pretty necklace of yours, Granny!"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!!"

_Ah, that brings back fond memories! Getting smashed through walls, into the ground, and over the trees...Good times, good times._

10 minutes later, and a far humbler sannin started the long trip back to Konoha. Without her necklace.

_One objective: complete!_

* * *

I have to apologize for the long wait. There were multiple problems with the internet connection and I'm not sure it's fully fixed yet, so it took a long time to even upload this chapter. Plus, I'm close to graduating, so I'm also working on that. But anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! If I were in Naruto's shoes, I would so mess with everybody's heads, too!

Heads up: I'll almost certainly be going back over the rest of the story to edit certain parts and clear some things up. The more I read over it, the more I realize I left out. I'm inexperienced, after all, but your comments are helping me learn, so thank you!

Oh, a little message to the guy who said this: "Jonin. His nephew had made Jonin at age 13. It was unheard of" - Kakashi became a jounin at 12 stop exaggerating things, its annoying. Also, Sarutobi was in his teens when he became the Hokage. Kakashi graduated at FIVE, was chuunin at SIX and became JOUNIN at twelve- that's also when he invented the chidori.

--hate to break it to you, but you should really check your facts again. Kakashi didn't become one until age 13. Look it up if you don't believe me. I don't mind you correcting me on stuff, but if you're going to do it, try being an adult about it. And also, try looking up the information before you attempt to shove it down my throat, especially since it doesn't have to fit the cannon unless I want it to.


	12. On Our Merry Way

Hey, guys! Sorry it has been awhile, but here's a new chapter, and the longest one I've written so far. Read below to see how Tsunade gets her butt handed to her. I call it poetic justice.

**Standard disclaimer applies. Yippeeee...

* * *

Minato looked over at his young nephew in a combination of awe and irritation. Yesterday, he'd just beaten one of the Legendary Sannin in less than one minute. She'd let him have the first move and had then never gotten to her own. The whole thing had been no contest.

Naruto had used the Sexy Jutsu.

_"Alright, little brat, I tell you what. I feel like being generous today, so I'm going to let you make the first move. Go ahead, pipsqueak. Let's see what's got the pervert over there--" she nodded towards Jiraiya, "--so bent out of shape."_

_The boy smiled innocently and said, "Suit yourself, old hag. Sexy Jutsu!"_

_**POOF!**_

_All of a sudden, instead of a13-year-old, a young (and VERY well-built) man with dark hair and dark eyes was standing in his place. Fully nude._

_Tsunade flew back as the blood shot out of her nose and landed several yards away with a perverted grin all over her face. Naruto walked up to her and lightly tapped her on the top of her head with his fist. "Gotcha." And then he walked away without a backwards glance. No one said a word as he passed them to head back into town._

_It took Tsunade a few hours to recover._

When they'd all found the kid after getting her back on her feet, he'd managed to gamble an expensive hotel suite out of a manager, as well as the rubber balls so that Obito could get the next step of Rasengan down. No one, least of all Rin--ahem--had mentioned the incident after that.

That night, both he and Jiraiya had tried to speak with his nephew regarding his ridiculous level of knowledge, but no luck; he and Obito were too busy jumping on the bed and singing, "I've Been Working on the Railroad" and "I'm a Little Teapot" for them to get a word in edge-wise. After the events of the day, it was really too much, and the two leaders had laughed and eventually joined in.

They were later charged for the bed. Apparently, it was not built to handle the weight of two grown men and two ramen-freak boys. Oops.

And that was only one of the amusing parts of the day. They'd also had a visitor.

_There they all were, rubbing the backs of their heads in embarrassment as they eyed the now practically shattered bed frame (Kakashi and Rin just shook their heads and walked out of the room to get away from them, Obito slyly following along to get out of trouble), when a voice Minato had certainly never heard before announced its owner's presence._

_"Wow, Naruto, you really do change everyone you come across...for better or worse," the person joked. (Well, somewhat joked. There was some truth to what he'd said, after all.)_

_As both Jiraiya and Naruto jumped three feet in the air (with a certain pervert letting out a very girly shriek), Minato spun around and had one of his three-pronged kunai in his hand as quick as lightning--being the Yellow Flash, and all--as he turned to face the intruder. The man with brown hair didn't seem to be anything special with his grey pants and light green shirt; nothing screamed "threat," but in spite of his civilian appearance, there was something about him that said this man was not at all ordinary._

_Brown eyes stared back into his glacial blue ones and smiled. "Hi!"_

_"Ayu!" Naruto called out, but his excitement soon turned to confusion. "Uh, what are you doing here? In, um, real life and all?"_

Real life? Huh? Where else would he be--in a video game?_ He reprimanded himself. _ I can figure out all that later! Concentrate, Minato! The guy with unbelievable powers and brought my nephew back from the dead, is standing right in front of us. Spacing out right now would be DUMB._ "Ayu, huh. Well, what do you want?" His eyes narrowed in suspicion. Although, he looked more stupid than dangerous..._

_The man simply laughed. "Just wanted to ask Naruto how he's doing and meet the two he holds highest in his esteem. Well, aside from the perverted tendencies of this one, anyway," he added, pointing at the sannin with his thumb. With that, he sat on the collapsed bed as the others continued to stand and stare at him._

_"Doing great, Ayu-san!" his nephew piped up with a slight warble in his voice. Heh, sounds like his voice is starting to change. At that thought, the Yellow Flash shuddered. That meant the youth was nearing puberty. And...he was the only family member around to give him The Talk. Just the thought was enough to make his face flame in embarrassment as he groaned out loud._

_The trio turned to look at him. "Uh, Minato, you ok, man?" his old sensei asked with a small bead of sweat trailing down his face._

_The jonin's eyes snapped to his old sensei. _Oh. Right. Gotta stop spacing out like that. Bad idea. Bad, bad, bad......and yet I'm still doing it._ Maybe the purple paint was affecting his brain or something. Wait a minute. He'd forgotten to wash it out. CRAP! No wonder people on the streets were staring at him! _Crap, crap, crap! _ And there was always the chance that it wouldn't wash out, anyway--he'd never forget that itching powder incident._

_"HEY! SENSEI! WAKE UP!" Ah, yes, there went his little mischief-maker of a nephew/student now._

_..._

_Darn it, he'd spaced out again! "What, Naruto?" He did his best to make his voice sound bored instead of dazed and,um, scared (about the hair, of course)._

_"Introduce yourself to Ayu, old man!"_

_"OLD! I'll have you know I'm only 23!" That comment was enough to break him out of daydream-mode, as Kushina liked to call it._

_The strange brunette chuckled. "No worries, Naruto. I already know all about him. Although, I have to admit that I find it very interesting to hear he has a nephew." _

_Said nephew paled so slightly that Minato almost didn't notice as the boy scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, small world, huh? Hehe..!"_

_Something was definitely going on, but what?_

_"So, I take it that means he doesn't know about your father yet?" Ayu added, a smile on his face and amusement in his voice. Minato felt like he was missing something important, very important._

_Naruto gulped. "Uh, no, and I'd appreciate it if it stayed that way, please."_

_"Why? Don't you trust him?"_

_"That's not the point, you know," he replied, muttering._

_The stranger hummed. "Well, like I said, it's up to you. And anyway, that's not what I came here to tell you--a piece of advice, if you will."_

_"Alright, what do you want with the little brat?" Jiraiya broke in suddenly. Poor guy was probably frustrated because he was almost certainly going to have to pay for the busted furniture, the "brat" had chased off the love of his life, and the entire conversation was keeping him from his research. On top of that, this weirdo had popped up out of nowhere. Most shinobi tended to get a wee bit testy when snuck up on._

_But rather than be offended at the sage's tone, the man's brown eyes seemed to laugh. "Oh, nothing much. I just wanted to tell him that it'd be a good idea to take a look at a **certain seal** of his. That's all," he shrugged. But the way he'd mentioned whichever seal he was blabbering on about let Minato and his former teacher know that something suspicious was up._

_Naruto's eyes widening almost imperceptively confirmed their thoughts. "What seal are you talking about, exactly?" _

_"THE seal," Ayu responded, eyes suddenly serious and no longer lit with laughter._

_The younger blonde cursed and muttered that he thought they'd gotten rid of "It."_

_"Don't blame me for it coming back, Naruto. You ARE the one who placed a Restoration Seal on top of it, remember? Besides, it's just the seal itself; there is nothing behind it."_

_Seemingly reassured, the youth wiped the sweat off of his forehead. "Well, at least that's done and over with, then." The boy's eyes became sad as he amended his statement. "For now, anyway."_

_As Jiraiya just watched the two speaking in confusion, the jonin closed his eyes to concentrate. There were a few things he wanted to ask this mysterious man, but he needed to be careful with how he worded his questions; this required subtlety--_

_"WHO THE HECK ARE YOU AND HOW DO YOU KNOW NARUTO!" Never mind. _Good work, Sensei, you idiot,_ Minato thought dryly. The man couldn't have kept his mouth shut for ten more seconds? Seriously..._

_But Ayu didn't seem the least bit offended. "My name, you already know. And Naruto met me a little over a month ago when he killed himself."_

_The men blinked. "Uh," the Yellow Flash began, "the kid's not dead."_

_With that, the boy himself laughed a little. "I told you already that this guy brought me back to life. What, did you think I meant it metaphorically or something?"_

_He stared in shock. "Of course we did! People don't just come back from the dead!"_

_"It's impossible!" the sage agreed._

_"Wrong," Naruto replied emphatically. "I've seen it before and now have experienced it for myself. It's not impossible. Although, the one that I saw cost the old woman her life." He turned to the brunette. "So how'd you survive it?"_

_Ayu smiled. "Not telling, but Naruto...you really should refrain from running your mouth so much," he said. And then he disappeared the same way he had shown up--with no smoke, no sound, and no evidence that he had ever been there in the first place._

_And these were the kinds of people his nephew liked to hang around._

That had all taken place yesterday, and he and his former master had still been reeling from the information overload even as everyone had pulled out their sleeping bags.

And now...now it was five in the morning and the Boy Wonder (in froggy pajamas, no less) had sat up, taken out his notebook, and was creating what looked like a new seal.

Kid hadn't been awake an hour and already he was working. And the lamp he'd turned on for light was doing a nice job of keeping Minato awake, too. Wonderful. It wasn't as though he'd already spent the entire night tossing and turning. Oh, no, he was perfectly rested. No problem.

He groaned. "What now, Naruto?"

"Hmm?" the blonde piped up in surprise. "Oh, this? Um, I just figured I'd add a seal to my body to store extra chakra. That way, when I run out, I can just access it and be ok. But I'm having a little trouble designing the thing and I've been working on it since last week."

Ah! A mystery! Minato (in his own set of froggy pajamas, ahem) hurried over to see and hummed. "I can see why it's giving you trouble. You'd think ones like this would be simple, but they actually require Level 10 knowledge. Seals are meant to store things; chakra's very different from a tangible object, after all."

"Huh? Tangi-what?"

The man blinked. "Tangible. It means that you can touch it. Intangible is the opposite; it's something you can't touch."

"Oh! Ok. Well, can you help me with this thing? I think I've gotten it mostly finished, but there's something wrong in the left quadrant; I just don't know how to fix it."

He looked over it and saw what his nephew meant. With seals of this nature, regardless of its shape, each line had to flow perfectly with all the others in order to work. But he couldn't just change all of them as he saw fit; every shape had a specific purpose, after all. And there was just one, tiny bit of it sticking out from the rest.

"I see...the Release Valve is in the right proportions, but it's not connected to the Stop Valve, so if you did put chakra in it, it'd send it right back out again. And you can't exactly flip either one around, either, since they also have to connect to the Containment section and Blood Seal. Hmm."

They worked on it for half an hour before a thought struck the older Namikaze. "Hey, add a second Containment Seal there and give yourself extra storage? You could add a second Release Valve on top of that and have a seal that holds twice the chakra."

Blonde eyebrows rose. "Whoa, you're right! It's perfect!" he yelled, waking everyone else--except Obito--up. Ignoring them, the young jonin carefully removed the newly-created seal, took off his pajama top, placed the paper on his shoulder, and ran chakra through it, closing his eyes and gritting his teeth in agony the entire time.

He thought it was strange that his nephew would place a paper version on himself rather than painting it on, but his confusion vanished when it started smoking. Naruto wasn't simply attaching it; he was burning it into his own skin. As Minato and the others in their pajamas (minus Obito) watched the teen sweat, the seal stopped smoking and glowed for a moment.

It was finished and its creator and now bearer collapsed back onto his sleeping bag panting heavily. "Ouch," he managed to croak before passing out.

It was 6:00 in the morning. They'd give him until 7:00 to wake up before tossing him in the tub. Minato really, really hoped he'd still be asleep; he wanted some payback after that whole paint incident. It'd taken him hours to get all the stuff out of his hair!

...and Kakashi still hadn't noticed his own multi-colored locks. That almost made the entire thing worthwhile.

But to his disappointment, Naruto woke up just 10 minutes later and managed to rouse Obito--by flinging him out of his sleeping bag--and immediately handed him one of the rubber training balls he'd won the day before.

"Here," he told the chunin, "this is what you want to do with it."

POP!

"Don't use the Shadow Clone Jutsu tomorrow; we'll continue that training after we get back, and I'd better remove that seal." Two minutes later, it was gone. "You've got till we reach the border to pop the rubber ball, since we don't want the enemy getting wise to whom we really are. Right?" he checked with his uncle.

"Right," Minato replied. "As soon as we've left the town, those who know how will use the...um..." Wow, it was so hard to get it out!

"The what, Sensei?" Rin asked, curious.

"...the Sexy Jutsu." His voice was small and clearly embarrassed. _How humiliating to be subjected to that._

Naturally, Naruto and Obito laughed, as did Jiraiya. Until the sage actually tried it. Naruto had tried to teach everyone in the group the technique during the first few days of their trip, but only the legendary pervert had really shown much interest; the others would simply have temporary seals placed on them, curtesy of the three Seal Masters in their group. Whatever came from that would be their own faults. And how strange that some of his nephew's more interesting tendencies were rubbing off on him!

Except for certain attributes, such as hair and eye color, they were careful to keep most things regarding appearance the same. It would cause less confusion that way. But that's where the similarities ended. Obito got transformed into a girl with freckles and a permanent blush (Jiraiya's work, of course), Rin was actually allowed to stay a girl, but without her facial markings and with much longer hair and a more-pointed chin, and Kakashi...well, Naruto took care of that one, giving him buck teeth and fish lips but leaving the grey hair the same. Minato had never laughed so hard. Till he saw Jiraiya, that is.

The sage simply couldn't pull it off.

Every time he'd tried, he'd ended up with what looked to be a 60-year-old woman with bloodshot eyes, scraggly white hair, a giant nose with a couple of warts on top of it, wrinkles galore, and sagging breasts. Poor Jiraiya. He'd cried as soon as he'd looked in a mirror (compliments of the only true female in the group), moaning about life being unfair. Obito had pointed and laughed until tears leaked from his eyes, and even Kakashi had gone suspiciously red-faced from holding back chuckles.

But the laughter stopped one day from the border.

Iwa had crossed over into Hi no Kuni.

* * *

Jiraiya was minding his business, not bothering anyone at all, even the ladies bathing in the river just outside of the gambling town they'd stayed at--well, mostly, that is--when some Iwa jerks had decided to attack a group of patrolling shinobi from Konoha. And then the "minding my own business" mindset was out the window.

Thankfully, it was a nice and woodsy area, so there was plenty of cover to watch and sneak around in. The group hid behind a nearby set of bushes and trees about a dozen yards away the second they saw the fight, and then they realized their allies were outmatched and outnumbered with a strike force of 15 Iwa and 4 Konoha nins. Time to step in.

Naruto jumped in almost immediately after creating several dozen Shadow Clones and transforming them to look like nothing more than squirrels and sending them in to attack and pull them away from their allies. (Thankfully, the fighters were too busy to notice the sudden chakra spike.) Minato pulled out and readied some of his three-pronged kunai, Obito began gearing up for a fire jutsu, Kakashi pulled out a kyoketsu shoge from nowhere--darn thing looked wicked--and Rin stayed back, as all good medics were taught to do unless needed.

And he, Jiraiya, tried not to giggle as he realized that each person with a seal was still in a transformed state. They looked like a bunch of idiots pulling weapons from invisible stashes, since they didn't have the physical changes that the Sexy Jutsu gave. And with that thought, he got into action, forming his student's technique, the Rasengan, in the palm of his left hand and pulling out a few shuriken in his right. All that happened in the space of five seconds.

He nodded at Minato and the two of them waited along with the real Naruto for his clones to get closer.

3...

2...

1...

POP! While the rest of the group charged, the clones transformed back into their blondie states and the ones that didn't slam their fists into the enemies' faces grabbed ahold of their weapon hands and twisted.

It didn't hold the jonin-level ninjas for long, but that was ok. Minato's kunai hit one man in the chest, and the blonde flashed over, yanked it out, and slammed it back into the man's heart in less than an instant. Kakashi's weapon swung through the air at the end of its chain and the double-bladed object ripped and sliced everything it touched; the woman on the receiving end was far less appreciative of its effects, but Jiraiya's eyes went wide as he slammed Rasengan into the face of his opponent.

Blood splattered everywhere as the man's head exploded. Some of it hit the nearby Obito, whose Great Fireball Jutsu had just finished burning two enemies to a crisp, but the chunin didn't falter. _Strong kid, _the sage thought as he tossed his shuriken into one of Naruto's opponents arms.

But that was the most anyone got to do as Minato zipped through and removed the heads of those his nephew was restraining (all except one), since they were the only ones left alive by the time Obito's attack had barbecued his opponents.

The whole thing had taken less than a minute. He looked around and saw that Rin was leaning over one of the attacked Leaf ninjas with her hands glowing a soothing green. All things considered, it wasn't too bad; that ally had been the only one injured, even though the others were exhausted. After all, Konoha always had had higher quality shinobi than Iwa.

"Sensei," began the red-stained Uchiha, "I think I need to--" and with that, he lost his lunch. Nobody who had seen what landed on him blamed him. Nobody, that is, except Kakashi, the little twit.

"Wuss," he muttered below his breath, just loud enough for the two nearest to him, the Super Pervert and Rin, to hear.

The chunin's words weren't shocking; the boy had been a stuck-up snob ever since his father's death. No, that hadn't bothered Jiraiya at all. Rin's reaction, however, did. She stood up from finishing her healing, calmly walked up to the boy she'd had a crush on ever since meeting, grabbed his arm, and swung him into a nearby tree, leaving a fascinating Hatake-shaped indention. THAT had his jaws dropping, especially since she'd smiled the whole time.

Naruto and Minato whistled at the same time as they watched the grey-haired chunin fall to the ground unconscious. The elder Namikaze was the first to speak. "Been a little testy lately, huh."

Everyone knew why. Naruto's personal revelations--not that the teen had revealed anything regarding himself, of course--had clearly terrified the girl. And it was a well-known fact amongst those of Minato's team that when Rin got scared, Rin got pissed. Being the new kid, so to speak, the little nephew hadn't been aware of that.

Ah, but he was now! Fortunately, it wasn't directed at him, so he was safe for the moment.

Jiraiya turned to their single prisoner and reached into his bag for a special seal he liked to carry around sometimes. Just in case he had to perform an interrogation. He put it on the woman (who was really hot with her dark blue hair and grey eyes) just above her elbow and pushed a small amount of chakra into it. She stiffened before screaming.

He noticed when Obito and Rin looked away uncomfortably and especially when Naruto hung his head sadly. The blonde had probably done this before. His thoughts were confirmed when the teen spoke up.

"You don't have to do that, Jiraiya-sama. I can get the information without electrocuting her."

_How'd the brat know it was electrocuting her? It's not as though sparks are flying out. Interesting..._ "Alright," he said, removing the seal for a moment, "what do you suggest?"

"I've got a couple of mind jutsu that will give me access to whatever memories she has. I think I'll choose the safer one, if you don't mind," he replied, much to everyone's shock.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute," Obito cut in, "I thought only the Yamanakas had techniques like that. How the heck did you learn a jutsu specific to their clan?"

"Good question, Naruto. How did you?" The boy's uncle seemed more than a little curious, a sign that he was getting irritated by all his nephew's suspicious abilities.

But the young Namikaze just sighed and said, "Look, I don't know much about the clan, but I do know that it's not a bloodline trait, which means that technically anyone can learn it. Is it that surprising to hear that someone did?"

_Actually..._ "Yes. Yes, it is, since it's a very closely guarded secret."

"All I know is I blackmailed it out of a friend, ok? If you want to know how she got it, well, I'm sorry, but she's not exactly here anymore. Alright?" Minato's eyes narrowed as the blonde continued. "Let's just get this over with."

The woman had passed out as soon as Jiraiya had removed the seal and he had to wonder if it was better or worse for her that she was unconscious. Naruto placed his hand on her head and closed his eyes as his chakra spiked slightly for a moment. After about thirty seconds, he removed his hand and opened his eyes again.

"It was a Guerilla party. They were supposed to raid all the nearby farms, towns, villages, homes--whatever they came across--and kill every single person in their paths, even children."

Dead silence greeted that news. Even the Leaf ninjas they'd helped were quiet, although that could have been due to the fact that they'd passed out from exhaustion. Whichever.

"...Seriously, Naruto, what mind-reading techniques do you know?" Minato asked.

"The one that I just used examines memories gained over the last few days. Another one lets me view memories years old, but depending on how far it goes, it could leave the person as nothing but a vegetable."

"So, how'd you con that person into teaching you?" Jiraiya was hoping for a dramatic life-or-death match with an enemy nin to rescue the beautiful woman--and her twin sister--from the ultimate doom, and to show their appreciation, they'd taught him their techniques...among other things. It'd be perfect for his new book! Absolutely perfect!

But he was sorely disappointed.

"Hehehe, I saw her, um, making herself _really_ happy and got her to promise that if I kept my mouth shut, she'd teach me some of her special jutsu."

_Aw, darn! That's not nearly as interesting as--wait a minute...that would actually go pretty well in the book, too! I can see it now! A beautiful girl, struggling against the loneliness of life and the urges of her body--_ The pervert's thoughts were interrupted by Obito's snickers.

"Wow! That's hilarious! How the heck did you get out of that one alive?"

"Ahem, I wrote it down in a scroll that would only open in the event of my death and gave it to...a friend to hold onto. Plus, I set her up with the guy she was interested in, so she actually ended up being in my debt."

A thousand perverted thoughts were running through the author's head as he pulled out his notebook, eager to get every last detail.

"Jiraiya-sensei, please put that away. We've got to send a message to the Third about this and need one of your toads."

"Huh? Oh, sure, Minato. But don't blame me if my next series is lacking in depth because you interrupted me."

Naruto snorted but didn't comment. Lately, he seemed to be taking Ayu's words about watching his mouth to heart. That reminded the self-proclaimed toad-charmer that he'd better tell Sarutobi about that little encounter as well as this one.

_ "Hey, Sensei! Hope you like the surprise! Be sure Inoichi treats her with extra love and attention. Iwa's beginning to stoop rather low. Anyway, got a couple of things to tell you. Ayu came to visit and mentioned something about a seal and junior blonde's father, though he didn't say the guy's name or anything. Oh, and it looks like the kid picked up some Yamanaka techniques somewhere along the way. Should I be looking into this? The whole thing's fishy."_

_ --Jiraiya_

_P.S. Saw Tsunade. Sent her back to the village. When she gets there, ask her what she thought of Naruto's male version of Sexy Jutsu. You'll get a kick out of it, trust me!_

With his message finished, he summoned a toad, had it swallow the surviving enemy, tied the scroll to its back, and sent it on its way with a POOF! It would arrive within a few hours, if all went well. Sarutobi kept a certain scroll and vial of blood in his office for that reason; it glowed whenever he had a message for his old teacher, and with a drop from the vial, he had instant mail.

But that all hinged on the Hokage not being distracted by, er, literature. Either way, the team would wait around until the Leaf ninjas were capable of looking after themselves again, probably for the rest of the day. In the meantime, Kakashi began to wake up.

Naruto sat next to the boy as he moaned about how much his head hurt. "You know, 'Kashi, if you shove that stick any further up your butt, it's gonna impale your brain. As it is, you're already spitting splinters."

Everything paused for about thirty seconds. Then...

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH, WOW, HE SO GOT YOU, ICE CUBE! OH YEAH! RIGHT ON, NARUTO! AWESO--"

One of the rescued ninjas had stood and slapped his hand over the Uchiha's mouth. "Listen, kid, I don't know who you are, but unless you want every enemy within a hundred miles breathing down our necks, I strongly suggest you shut up." With that, he removed his hand to watch those around him with his pupil-less, white eyes, typical of a Hyuuga.

Naruto turned to the now-awake man and said, "Hey, welcome back! How ya feeling?"

"Not too bad, considering." The jonin eyed the blonde boy for a moment. "You're the kid who made all those Shadow Clones, aren't you? What's your name?"

"Naruto Namikaze, at your service. Who are you?"

But the man's eyes had gone wide, very wide. "Namikaze? As in Minato Namikaze?"

The Yellow Flash himself (who had been standing behind the man the whole time) spoke next. "Yes. He's my nephew."

"Wow! Who would have guessed! Although, you two certainly do look alike. Huh. Well, anyway, I'm Hizashi Hyuuga, and I'm pleased to meet your acquaintance, Naruto and Minato Namikaze-samas." The man bowed to them both, albeit somewhat shakily. "And the others must be his well-known team, with Uchiha-san, Rin-san, and Hata--uh, sir, was your hair always those colors?"

Confused, the boy asked, "What colors?" From there, things went south; he glowered, they laughed, and then finally got the paint out. Too bad.

Hizashi continued introducing himself to their group after that. "And I assume that this is one of the Legendary Sannin, Master Jiraiya himself?"

The sage practically preened at that. "Yup, that's me!" The man bowed and thanked him and the others for all their help, since there was a good chance they would have been killed without it.

"Alright, already," Rin butted in as she handed the Hyuuga a soldier pill. "Here, this will help you regain your energy. I'm actually surprised you're up this fast, but our team has to get moving now. We're on a schedule, even if it is somewhat flexible."

After giving Obito a bit to clean himself off, compliments of a water jutsu, they left their allies behind (Jiraiya making sure to leave a strong toad just in case), got in formation with the sannin and older jonin in front and Naruto in the back, and continued onwards. But he was bothered by the entire incident. Shouldn't Orochimaru have been distracting the enemy enough to prevent this? Sure, it wasn't exactly a big battle, but the thought of catching one of the Legendary Sannin should have been enough bait to lure out every single spare man. Except, maybe they weren't the only ones using that battle as a distraction. It was disturbing, to say the least, and they only had three more guaranteed days to make it across the border.

He told his thoughts to the elder Namikaze to see his reaction. "Are you worried about your old teammate?"

"No, he can take care of himself just fine. All he'd have to do is summon Manda for a little snack." He shuddered. _Never did like that giant garter snake,_ he muttered in his head. After all, saying it out loud could very well get him put on the creature's list of future snacks, and that would totally mess up his research.

"Hmmm...well, then we need to be especially on guard. And speaking of that," he turned around to face the rest of the group, "everyone needs to get in transformation." The man waited till everyone had obeyed, including himself. "Remember to stay in it unless specifically told not to. Based on the conflict we just got out of, it's likely that we'll encounter more enemy nins. Be very, very careful. There will be no backup for us if something goes wrong. That's why three chunin, two jonin--"

"And a partridge in a pear tree," his fellow jonin interrupted in his womanly form.

"--and one sannin," Minato continued with slightly clenched teeth, "taking this on. Now, is everyone ready?"

Yup. They were ready. Time to hit the road!...and since Obito tripped and fell flat on his face, they hit it rather literally. _Just another day in the life of the outcast Uchiha. Sorry, Naruto, but I seriously doubt the kid's faking it. He truly IS as dumb as he seems._

"Hey, blonde kid!" he yelled to the youth in his cackling, granny-voice, "Got a couple questions I'd like to ask ya. Get over here."

"Yo. Whaddaya want?"

"Is there any way to improve their transformation seals to make them physical like your Sexy Jutsu?"

"Dunno. My technique is somewhat similar to the Shadow Clones, you know, and I created it by accident, anyway. I was working on the regular transformation and made a mistake in the hand seal. I put one finger in the wrong location and came up with this," he gestured towards himself. "It's not even a typical hand seal, so I wouldn't even know what to draw to represent it; I could probably do it, but it'd take months of research and practice that we don't have."

"So, the only way would be if they learned your jutsu itself. And we don't have the time for that, either."

Naruto nodded but said nothing.

"Ah well, it should be enough. No problems! No problems..." The teen jonin got back into formation and the group continued, hiding their chakra and practically crawling to the border. And what lay beyond? A living weapon. Yes, Jiraiya could definitely think of easier missions.

* * *

Naruto was not pleased. No, he was not pleased at all. The fox was dead, no doubt about it, so why was that stupid seal still on his stomach? Well, not the whole thing; it had been too sabotaged for it to have regenerated so quickly, but still, it shouldn't be there!

He'd searched for years to find out how to fix that stupid thing, but he'd only ever been able to slow it down by splicing a Chakra Absorption Seal with one that changed that chakra into healing energy; the results of that had given birth to his Regeneration Seal. Naruto had then grafted his hybrid into the thing that held the fox back so that it could hopefully gradually repair, or at least stop, the damage to it. It would have worked, too, except that Kyuubi wouldn't leave well enough alone. _Guess I can't blame it for wanting its freedom, but no way was I going to let that beast out so easily._

But seriously, when he'd died, it should have disappeared. So why hadn't it? It made sense that it was finally repairing itself without the irritating demon to fight, but that was the only thing that he really understood. And even so, why hadn't he seen it while training? Ok, so he'd always kept his shirt on, so that could be explained, but that didn't make it any less annoying; the darn thing should NOT be there!

Then, he remembered what had happened to the Third when he'd fought Orochimaru. The old man had used the same sealing method and died, and yet, the seal had stayed on his skin, so...maybe it wasn't completely ridiculous.

He'd have to enter his mindscape to check and be sure that only the seal (and not the demon) was there, though. A little extra reassurance never hurt, after all. But that was something he needed to do when no one else was around.

Not happening on this mission, clearly.

Oh well. Time to pull a prank. Actually, it was time to _activate_ a prank. He took out his notebook, turned to a page he hadn't let his father see, and pushed a small amount of chakra into the seal he'd drawn on it. The results were instantaneous.

Kakashi's underwear glowed a soft pink, and since he was just behind their two leaders, well...

"What are you laughing about?" the irritated genius snapped as he heard Obito snickering from behind him.

"Oh, nothing, nothing. Just saw something that...tickled me pink." How the boy managed to keep from bursting, Naruto didn't know, but his teammate turned back around and ignored him. He never noticed Rin's eyes become as round as saucers as she, too, saw the "light."

Things were like that for the rest of the day, with their cold and stiff companion being none the wiser. And thanks to Neji's father, his hair was no longer multi-colored. How disappointing. Now it didn't look nearly as awesome as it could've.

Darn it...

Ah, but that wasn't all he had up his sleeves. No, no. Master Pranksters simply did not stop after such a simple thing as that; their ambitions were far greater. As were their pranks.

But he had a good reason for them this time. No self-respecting ninja would be caught dead like that in enemy territory, so it added to their cover of being, well, incompetent travelers. And it would take the focus off certain aspects about themselves that they couldn't so easily change, such as the ways they carried themselves: warily, carefully, and smoothly; all signs of battle-hardened shinobi. However, the glowing underwear would surely grab their attention away from those little facts.

However, just as he was about to pull out another one of his previously-prepared seals, a puff of smoke on the side of the road caught his attention.

"Heya, Super Perv! Your toad's back."

Jiraiya turned around, an irritated expression on his face (probably from the nickname). He walked over to the creature and pulled out the message, his eyes going wide as he read it several times over. Minato walked over to him as his hands started shaking.

"This...can't be..." he muttered. "No, not...not him. He would never..."

"What's wrong, Sensei?"

He quietly handed the message to his former student who read over it and immediately paled. "Is this some kind of joke?" he demanded of the still-present toad, but it simply looked offended and croaked out an insult in its language before POOFing away. "Guess I'll take that as a no, then."

"Um," Naruto began, "what's up, guys?"

Without a word, Jiraiya took the letter from Minato and handed it to him to read. It was simple and to the point.

_ Nice to hear from you, Jiraiya-kun. In answer to your question, I know all about Naruto. He's not a threat to our village. Just pay his weird tendencies no mind. As for the little gift of yours, thanks. Ibiki and Inoichi are having a blast examining it. Got some recent news you're not going to like. Found a secret lab; can't access it till you and the others return, but it's probable that he's been experimenting on people there. Need to be sure before making a move. Also, Suna sends its regards; says it has located Sasori and is asking for a joint operation in taking him down. Naruto was personally requested for the assignment, so hurry up and hurry back. Show him this letter and then get back to the mission, you lazy bum. And Tsuna-chan's being a pain. Why do you think I gave her some time off in the first place?_

_Sarutobi_

_P.S. Yes, I'm pretty sure about Orochimaru. Tell no one except Minato and Naruto for now._

Ah. So that's what had their panties in a twist. Orochimaru. The very name made him sick to his stomach, to say the least. So much for the special ramen cup he'd been saving for dinner. Other than that, it wasn't something he'd lose sleep over. He shrugged and burned the paper with a small fire jutsu.

"This doesn't disturb or bother you at all?" Jiraiya demanded.

"Nope." Naruto didn't bother to explain. There was really no need to. He could see it in their eyes as the facts clicked; the strange knowledge regarding all of them that no one should have, his long talk with the Sandaime that night, and his immediate acceptance into the ranks all said that he had been the one to bring this to the Hokage's attention.

Perhaps he really should have faked a different reaction, because the sage exploded and grabbed and picked him up by his collar, making his backpack fall off and onto the dirt path.

"How dare you," he hissed as he pushed the blonde against a tree and held him there. "That was your plan all along, wasn't it? To gain the Hokage's trust and then make the village a laughingstock before taking it down, is that it? Well, if you think I'm going to let you get away with that, you've--"

"Shut it, Pervy Sage," the boy snapped back. "That monster murdered 59 innocent babies!" Shocked, Jiraiya dropped him and stepped back. "Yeah, that's right, BABIES. Not toddlers, not children, not teens or adults! **BABIES!** Out of 60 he experimented on, only **ONE** survived!" He could tell by looking in their eyes that they remembered the incident when one of their Genin teams had accidentally stumbled onto a small lab and almost gotten killed trying to open the door. And once a team of ANBU had gotten inside...there had only been that single survivor, and to that day, no one had any clue whom his parents were. Naruto knew all of this. Tenzou had eventually told him about his origins as they'd become friends; the whole time, the blonde had had to fight not to loose his lunch. Just like now.

"That's n-not true! He had nothing to do with any of that and you have no proof that he did! And you just got here, so what business is it of yours, anyway!" The toad man was shouting, his eyes glinting both dangerously and in fear that he spoke the truth.

"You would have me just ignore all that? You want me to pretend I don't know things about you and your teammates that make you uncomfortable? Did you know he's working on an immortality jutsu that will allow him to steal other people's bodies? Did you? Tell me you didn't have suspicions about the people around him just up and vanishing. Go ahead, TELL ME!"

Jiraiya looked down and closed his eyes. "It wasn't like that..." he muttered. Everyone else was wisely staying out of the argument, though their horrified expressions and whispers amongst themselves said enough for them. Naruto ignored his former/future sensei's words, because the future perv had already confessed the truth long ago.

"We'll never know how many people could've been saved if you had acted instead of forcing my hand. I've lost enough people to that snake, and I'll rip out his intestines before I lose another, so don't come crying to me about your poor teammate. Just be glad I'm not his executioner, because I wouldn't be the least bit merciful to that treacherous murderer."

Now the hermit had anything to say to that. All those around him were dead silent as they stared. And then Naruto remembered. They weren't supposed to tell the chunin about all that. Oops. But, hey, it was the sage who'd brought it up, not him, so he wouldn't be the one in trouble. Jiraiya realized it, too, apparently, as his face blanched. Double oops.

And then, after a few minutes, Minato spoke. "So, that's the whole reason why you came to Konoha. He killed someone close to you and you wanted revenge. That's all. Not for family or a better life. Just revenge." The disappointment and hurt practically dripped from his voice; it made the famous jonin look old and ragged--worn down long before his time.

Just the sight broke the teen's heart. Naruto couldn't let him think such things. "No. I thought he'd already been dealt with before I showed up. My coming to the village had nothing to do with revenge. Not that I wouldn't have killed him if given the chance, but that's one of my smaller goals."

His father's eyes seemed to light up with life again. "So, what are your goals? Better yet, what is your ultimate goal?"

"My ultimate goal? To finish what the First started. That, and to be the legacy that my father can truly be proud of in the years to come by protecting that which he held dear to him: Konoha. Now, let's all get going, ok? We kinda have a schedule to keep."

With that, they all continued on their way with him still staying behind the others (although, Jiraiya had decided to keep him company), but he--back in his transformation--whistled as he walked...and pulled out another scroll.

Obito now had a picture of a kitten glowing in purple on the back of his jacket. Why not? He'd been the one to put the seals on the clothes, after all. Besides, he was in the form of a girl. What harm could it do?

Jiraiya--in his ancient woman form--cackled under his breath as he saw both the Uchiha's jacket and Kakashi's underwear, which could only be seen glowing from behind. They spoke quietly back and forth so that the others could not hear them. Wouldn't want the boys getting wise to their newest decorations, after all.

"Geez, kid, what exactly ARE you?"

"Who, me? I'm a master assassin. Naruto Namikaze's the name! Remember it!" He wasn't lying. One of the reasons he was such an excellent negotiator, besides his somehow infectious attitude, was his infamous and yet unprovable reputation. Certain nations and individuals had learned the hard way to never even THINK of touching one of Naruto's precious people. Those who did were typically dead by sunrise with absolutely no evidence linking back to him. Only the fact that all the criminals had targeted his friends had pinpointed him as the assassin. His friend's rankings and bounties in the Bingo books had gone up just because of that (not that anyone was stupid enough to take advantage of it).

Eyebrows raised at that. "Really? I've never heard of you and I have quite the spy network." His voice wasn't particularly doubtful, but it was awfully darn curious...and still cackling. Like a cat. Like Tora. It made the blonde shudder in his mind.

He humphed out loud. "Yeah, well, I don't visit brothels, so there's half your network right there."

The wrinkles on his-slash-her face seemed to sag as his jaw dropped. "How the heck--never mind. What are your techniques?"

Naruto turned to his future/former sensei and gave him a cheeky grin (which he could pull off VERY well in his feminine form). "What, can't you guess? My physical transformation combined with my Shadow Clones make me one of the deadliest and most difficult to track assassins in the world. I'm just that good, old woman!"

"Old woman!" he yelled in outrage. Obito turned his head to look, and the sage immediately quieted down again. "I'll have you know that I'm a strong, virile male in the prime of my youth! And there's no way you're that good; I know of everyone at that level, and you, young man, I've never heard of."

"Ah, but I've heard of you...Granny. And since I can transform into any person or object that I want to and come out of it completely undetected, you'd better believe it! Here,watch this!" And with that, he created a Shadow Clone, transformed it into a bumblebee, and sent it towards Kakashi. It landed on the chunin's simple, brown jacket and started crawling up towards the boy's arm. Then...

"OWCH!"

"What's wrong, Kakashi-kun?"

"Some stupid bee stung me for no reason!" he told Rin, swatting at it as it flew away into the grass. Then, the irritated youth threw a kunai in its direction, releasing a very tiny puff of smoke that he didn't notice as he turned around and began following Minato again.

But Naruto smirked. "See? Got him without the Ice Cube even noticing. If he'd been an enemy, he'd be dead right now."

"...I see. Pretty ingenious, kid, not to mention scary. So, um, what other things can you do besides that?"

"Oh, uh, let me think." He put his chin on his hand as he thought about it. "Well, besides all those moves you saw me use in our little match and the seals that you've seen lately, there's the Rasengan, Shadow Shuriken Jutsu, a few variations of the Sexy Jutsu--"

"Whoa, wait, wait, wait. Did you just say you know a FEW variations of it?" The man was practically--no, scratch that--literally drooling.

"Uh...huh."

"..."

"..."

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Aren't you gonna show 'em to me?" he pleaded.

"Wasn't planning on it."

And with that, the author stopped, got down on his hands and knees, and literally began begging like a man needing water in a desert. It was really pitiful.

"ARG! Fine, I'll show you one, but not until much later. I don't want you passing out from blood loss, you old, perverted hag."

Jiraiya hung his head. "I guess you've got a point there," he sighed. "I'll wait to see it." And then he got serious. "Naruto, you've traveled all over the world before, haven't you?"

"More or less, I suppose." That much was definitely true, as he'd been sent on more than one diplomatic mission to other nations. Even with his brash and abrasive manner, he'd managed to set up more treaties and trade alliances than almost any other ambassador in Konoha's history. There was just something about the blonde that people couldn't help but like or, at the very least, highly respect. And that was only counting the _men_. The _women_ were just a wee bit different.

"Well, I-I need to know. Have you ever visited the Hidden Rain Village?"

That brought his (or her, whichever) head up. "Amegakure? Why?" Had to be about--

"Because," he unknowingly interrupted the thirteen-year-old's thoughts, "I wanted to know how things are there--if you've ever met...a friend of mine."

Yup. That's what it was about, alright. Nagato. "I have visited there," (which was completely true) "but about the only thing I remember about it is seeing this guy with these weird eyes and this woman with blue hair who was constantly making stuff out of paper." (That part was only half true; he had met them, but not quite the way he'd described.)

But he knew enough of Nagato's history to bluff his way through this, no problem.

Jiraiya turned to him suddenly and grabbed him by the shoulders, causing everyone else to turn around and look. Naruto signaled to them to keep walking as the man holding him started rambling a thousand miles an hour. "You've seen them! How long ago was it? How were they doing? Are they happy? What awesome techniques did you see them use?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Pervy Sage! One thing at a time! How long ago was it? Huh. Don't really know, but not too long; a couple of years, maybe? And they seemed ok, but the guy with the weird eyes didn't look too great. Don't really know why, but I get the impression something bad happened. And the only technique that I saw is that the girl made a giant bird to transport herself and the guy to another location."

The man was just staring at him. "A couple of years ago? Kid, that's not possible. They've been dead for at least that long. There's no way you could've seen them."

"Huh?" Of course, he knew what his sort-of sensei was talking about, but it would be just a liiiittle awkward explaining how.

"They were attacked and killed two and a half years ago. No one survived. Are you sure of what you're saying?"

Ah, so he was wanting to either test him or was just really hopeful that his students had survived. Fine. He'd go along with it. He began to explain as they started walking again. "Well, I hate to tell you this, but those two were alive, alright. Not gonna say they were in the best of shape, but they were definitely still breathing. Come to think of it, it did look like they'd been in a fight, and there was some old, wrinkly guy trying to run off without getting caught. Hmm...it's hard to remember." He shook his head, trying to make it look as real as he could. "If you give me a few minutes, I can probe my memories and see if maybe I can tell you more."

"W-what? Probe your memories? Is that one of those mental techniques you know?"

"Huh? Oh, those? No, not at all, although, I suppose it is similar, since it does the same thing. Except, it's my own mind, not someone else's, and no one taught it to me; I learned it a long time ago when I got thrown off a cliff."

Jiraiya choked. "Thrown off a cliff! And you survived? How'd that--"

"I'd reeeally rather not get into that, ok? Anyway, you wanna know or not?"

"...right." He turned to the group walking a good bit in front of them. "Hey, Minato!" The addressed man turned around. "We'll catch up with you in a bit! 'K?" The other jonin nodded as they continued onwards. "Alright, brat, you've got your few minutes."

He sighed. He'd wanted to be alone when he did this, but everything should be fine. Naruto had yet to sense anything worrying about his seal, so...why not? Plus, if he was going to tell anyone whom he really was, it'd be the toad sage. As perverted as the guy was, he also happened to be one of the most intelligent and wise. If told, he'd be smart and keep it to himself, and maybe he'd even end up helping out. And he might not find out, anyway. It was worth a shot.

He walked over to a tree and sat down, dropped the transformation, breathed deeply a few times to make sure he was calm, and closed his eyes...

When Naruto opened them again, he looked up to see he was standing in front of the fox's old cage, except that now it was empty. The bars were bent and looked as though a great force had tried to push its way through--which was exactly what had happened--and on the door was a slip of paper that looked like it had been practically shredded at one point. The word "Seal" was barely legible. Just above that was another piece of paper, and on it was the word "Restore." Out of the second seal flowed healing, green chakra, and everywhere it touched, the bars were straightening and the other seal was strengthening.

Ayu was right; it was gradually taking care of itself. Heck, the last time Naruto had seen it, half the bars were broken and the primary seal was barely more than a scrap of paper. Still, it wasn't like he really needed it now. There was nothing for it to hold back.

"Aaaaanyway," he said to no one in particular, "now that the scenic tour is over, I have a memory to find." And with that, he sloshed through the water, left the chamber and headed to the right. In the past (or future, whatever), once he'd realized what was happening with the demon and weakening seal, he'd gone there to take a walk through his memories to find out what had caused it. Since then, he had used that ability to help him remember all sorts of things, such as where he'd put his house keys. Very useful. He forgot them all the time.

The hallway was long, stretching farther than his eyes could see, and on one side was a door. The thing looked like it was made with a powerful, reinforced, black steel, and there was no doorknob of any sort; it didn't need one. Naruto placed his hand on the side and it opened hesitatingly with a squeak of its hinges. Ino had told him it was an indication of his stupidity. She was probably right.

When he walked in, he saw a large room with nothing in it except a long, wooden table with pictures and various objects strewn all over it. None of it was in any particular order--another sign of his lack of intelligence, he'd heard--but the former jinchuuriki typically knew where to look, anyway. He began rummaging through a pile on the far left corner of the table where he "kept" some of his most important moments. Every picture he touched brought a set of memories to his mind.

His and Hinata's first fight was among them.

_"...can't believe you, Naruto! Neji almost wet his pants when Ibiki came to question him! And stop snickering! It's not funny!"_

_"Hehehe yes, it is!"_

_"Oh?" she demanded, "and just what makes it so funny?" Her hands were on her hips, clearly expecting nothing but nonsense to spew out of his mouth._

_"Aw, come on! It was the perfect prank! It didn't hurt anyone. Plus, it gave Ibiki something to do, didn't it? Old man was getting bored out of his mind, and let me tell you that's not a good--"_

_"CAN IT! My cousin was terrified! And you, the one he calls one of his best friends, set him up for it! What were you thinking, stealing his underwear and putting it in Tsunade's desk in place of her sake like that? AND STOP LAUGHING!"_

_"C-can't...help...it!" he gasped out as he held his stomach and cracked up._

_Hinata's eyes narrowed as she closed the gap between them. "You are going to apologize, do you hear me? Or you'll be sleeping on the couch for a month!"_

_His jaw dropped. That meant no, er, nice and comfy blankets. Yeah. Blankets. "Hinata, you can't be serious!" But she was. And then, he thought of how he might use this to his advantage. "What if I apologize within the next thirty minutes?" he asked in that low tone that always sent shivers down her spine._

_She turned a deep red as she explained to him exactly what his reward would be._

_Neji had his apology five minutes later._

Naruto chuckled as he placed the photo back down on the table. It was one of his favorite memories, in fact, because it showed Hinata's spirit so clearly. But it wasn't the one he was looking for, unfortunately.

His fingers touched another picture, and the images were far less pleasant.

_"You're actually serious about this..."_

_"Yeah, I'm serious. I intend to kill you."_

_"Do you...no longer consider me your friend! Everything we did together as Team 7, was it all just meaningless to you!"_

_"...No. It was not meaningless. To me, you have become...my closest friend."_

Naruto hurriedly put the picture back down. Just the memory of those words sent a chill down his spine, now that he knew exactly what Sasuke was trying to get. The Mangekyou Sharingan. And the only way to get it? To kill his best friend. Once he'd understood the implications years later, he'd been horrified and had puked his guts up for hours. And with the amount of ramen he had just finished eating, there was a lot to puke up.

With that, he moved onto the next one and found exactly what he was looking for. It was in this, his most important pile, not because of how much Nagato's words had impacted and changed his life, but because it was the first time he'd ever spoken to someone he could truly call "Father." The boy/man had only gone there to check his facts and make sure he didn't screw up anything he told Jiraiya. But seeing those memories again had both healed and given him the resolution needed to keep trying, no matter the consequences.

Because if he kept changing things, there was a chance that the people he knew and loved...

...might cease to exist forever.

And that was worse than death. But he'd been reminded that nothing worthwhile is without risk and sacrifice. Some things SHOULD be changed! So he picked up the photo and held it as words half-forgotten echoed in his mind and his very soul.

After all, they were the children of prophecy. It was their job to change things, no?

* * *

Jiraiya waited nervously for the blonde boy to wake up. For one thing, the rest of the group was getting further ahead. And for another, he was just plain impatient. If Nagato at least truly was still alive...! Not that he didn't hope the others were ok, as well, but it was _him_! He was sure of it. The prophesied one who could flip the nations around.

So he watched as emotions flowed over the boy's face like rain. First, there was a sense of surprise, then happiness, then something clearly perverted (and where the heck did THAT come from, anyway?), and after that, sadness. As the boy's face continued to change, something about that sadness stayed with the lecher. Sure, the kid had had a hard life, so that shouldn't have been a surprise.

But still. To imagine this happy-go-lucky blonde near tears...it sent a cold chill down his spine.

Just as he was considering slapping the kid to wake him up (3 minutes being a looooong time, and all), his favorite student's nephew opened his eyes.

"Heya, Perv!" were the first words out of his mouth. What a coincidence that they were also insulting.

"Well?" he insisted.

With a smile, the teen told his story. There had been a battle and he'd gotten there shortly after it ended; all across the field, bodies had been strewn, and the most shocking part? A good number of them seemed to be from Konoha. That had the lecher clenching his hand till his nails pierced his hand. Naruto had seen the girl and the guy with the weird eyes escape on a paper bird that she'd created, but they'd been carrying the body of an orange-haired teen with them. After that, he said he'd felt uncomfortable being there and decided to high-tail it to a safer location.

Along the way, he'd met a man who called himself Danzo. He, too, had a Hidden Leaf headband. "I got curious about the dude. I mean, everyone else from there had been killed; I wanted to know what had happened and all. But I got the feeling he wouldn't be too happy to answer me while he was awake, so..."

"You did your little mind jutsu on him, didn't you?" While Jiraiya was horrified at the events, he also couldn't help but be just a little bit impressed. And furious at the stupid old man he was strongly considering assassinating the next time he saw him.

The little sneak got a particular gleam in his eyes. "Yup! And guess what I found out."

"What?"

"Nuh-uh. You have to guess."

"...you've gotta be kidding me."

"Nope!"

"Geez, fine. Uh, he went there looking for someone to play Red Rover with him?"

"..."

"..."

"That's the best you could come up with?"

"OH FOR PETE'S SAKE JUST TELL ME ALREADY!"

"Well, aren't we snippy. Fine, then, spoilsport, I'll tell you. He was trying to ally with Hanzo--hey, Hanzo and Danzo! Never thought of that before!--and plotting against the Hokage. Basically, he would help the Salamander Man squash those three people and, in return, he would help Danzo in his goal to become the Hokage. Didn't work, obviously." Then, the devious thirteen-year-old snickered. "I doubt he even knows I got his mind in a jutsu, hehehe."

Jiraiya blinked. "And you didn't think to tell Sarutobi this while we were still in the village?"

"One thing at a time, Perv. I think he's got enough to deal with right now, don't you? Besides, if necessary, I'll just gather the evidence and quietly assassinate him myself after showing the proof to him. If nothing else, it'll save on the paperwork. Going through the legal system to execute a traitor is frickin' annoying."

"Uhhhhhh, I'm pretty sure that, as a Konoha jonin, you HAVE to go through the legal system. All shinobi sign a form swearing to abide...by...all the--why are you shaking your head, Naruto?"

"I signed a different form. I'm liable to one person, and one person ONLY. And he, the Hokage, specifically told me that all I had to do was check with him first. Legalities are not necessary."

"WHAT? But that's a privilege only ANBU members are supposed to have! Did you sign up for it and are just going on this mission as a jonin or what?"

The little bugger actually had the nerve to smirk. "Nope! You'll have to ask to see the contract when we get back, but it's basically like a new position he made just for me. And there was a **good** reason for it, too, believe me." After that, the white-haired sannin and the golden-haired child soldier made their way towards their comrades. The last part of what Naruto had said had sounded more than just a little dark, but there was no threat behind it, so it didn't make Jiraiya feel too tense.

That was good. He hated tense. Especially when there were no bathhouses around. Oh, how he missed the hot springs of Konoha! He needed to see the toads soon about Nagato, but only _after_ he'd seen the boy's variations of the Sexy Jutsu. There was only so much stress he could take! He'd sobbed into his water--water! How insulting!--just last night as he thought of how long it'd been since he'd last enjoyed the company of a beautiful lady...even though he typically ended up in the hospital after such "company."

But since the kid refused to show him the variations he was dying to see, Jiraiya figured he'd just ask the shrimp some other questions he had on his mind. They had already caught up with the others, but the two of them still made sure to stay out of their hearing range as they talked.

"Who'd you lose?"

"Huh?"

"You said that you'd lost people to Orochimaru before. Who was it?"

Naruto sighed and looked down sadly. "One of them I saw as my brother. The other was like a grandfather to me. Neither one was blood-related, but that didn't matter to me."

"I see." The sannin paused. That brought to mind another question. He had a suspicion... "Who was the man you saw as your grandfather?"

"Hm? Oh, he was the leader of the village I was born in. He did a lot to take care of me when no one else would."

"Naruto, there's something I've been meaning to ask you. You said you were mistreated in your old village. Correct?"

"Yeah...why?"

Jiraiya's eyes narrowed. "Well, if he took care of you so well, then why couldn't he even control his own men who were supposed to be protecting you?"

He shrugged. "Dunno. He couldn't control everything that went on, though, and I think the guards were working for someone else--a traitor, I think. Besides, if I complained, it just got worse."

"But wait a minute," He pointed out, "you said that the leader checked up on you from time to time. How could the guards get away with that while he was watching? And if the people really did want you dead, then how did you survive killing that civilian who attacked you? Wouldn't they have jumped on any excuse available to have you executed?"

Naruto stopped dead in his tracks as his eyes blinked slowly. Jiraiya got the distinct impression that he'd never thought of it before. He was right. "Ummm, never thought of it like that before, and honestly, I don't know."

"Well, it sounds just a little too convenient to me. Makes me think it never actually happened." Jiraiya stated. _For all this kid's abilities, he just ain't that brilliant._

"You...have a point. It doesn't make sense. Old Man would never have let them get away with stuff like that, and he would've known even if I hadn't told him."

The more the sage thought about it, the more certain he was. Someone had been torturing the blonde, alright, but not like Naruto was thinking. It might have been better if it were.

Understanding dawned on the boy's face. "Genjutsu," he whispered in shock. "It's always been my greatest weakness, and a kid not even old enough to start school wouldn't have any defense against it, wouldn't know not to trust everything his eyes saw, and wouldn't even know what genjutsu was, period. But still...what parts were real and what parts...weren't?" During the last part, his voice dropped so low that he might as well have not spoken at all. Even so, the lecher had no trouble reading his lips; he'd used the ability many times while capturing certain, ahem, scenes for his very graphic novel--which he was almost finished writing! Yay!

"Yes," he nodded, "that does bring up a ton of questions, doesn't it. But none of that matters; whether or not it happened in real life, it affected you just the same and probably damaged your mind a bit. Children that young who are subjected to things like that without being prepared for them can end up vegetables or severely crippled for life. You're lucky you weren't."

The young jonin nodded, face still shockingly pale. Maybe it hadn't made the kid's day, but it had helped him gain more of his trust. Plus, knowing that he hadn't killed a (very stupid) civilian probably did make him feel better.

But now Blondie looked depressed! He missed the old, hyperactive, obnoxious, little twit! New topic.

Time for Operation: Distract Blondie.

"Hey, kid," he started out, "how many jutsus do you have?"

Startled, Naruto looked up, a slight frown on his face replacing the serious scowl. "Hmm? Didn't we have this discussion earlier? What's the interest, anyway?"

"I'm curious, that's all, and we never finished, anyway. Give me some names of a few you've created, besides the Sexy Jutsu."

"Well, that's just it. After awhile, I stopped naming them. It got to a certain point where there simply _was_ no point."

When Jiraiya asked why, the kid shrugged and told him, "I invent them as I need them and have at least two variations of each." He shook his blonde mop. "Too much to keep up with."

A simple, logical, and utterly annoying explanation. "Well, what about that Water Drill of yours? Surely, that one deserves a name!"

He smiled. "If you want to call it that, be my guest, but does it really matter? I mean, calling it 'Daffodils in the Spring' isn't going to make it any more or less lethal, so what difference does it make if I name it or not? Besides, isn't it kinda stupid to let the enemy know _exactly_ which one you're about to use?"

Ok, ok, so Jiraiya had to admit that Naruto had an excellent point, even if it did make him seem like a stick-in-the-mud. Wait a minute...did he say "two variations of each"? Yeesh! Just who the heck was this kid? It was better not to ask. "Alright, then, what are your weaknesses as a shinobi?" Oh, gee, if that didn't make it completely obvious that he was sizing the super-blonde up...

Not that _he_ noticed. His head tilted back as he blankly stared at the clouds. "My weaknesses? Hmmm...let's see...Well, genjutsu, obviously, and I do pretty much suck at fighting with certain weapons. I'm mostly a close-range fighter with a few mid-range attacks, so that means that I'm weak against long-range. But my greatest weakness is probably...a certain...jutsu."

Well, wasn't that a nifty way to get the sannin's attention. He just shook his head and refused to tell what it was, but even so, the grim expression on his face was more than enough to say it was something big.

_Darn it, he's still being too serious!_ "Geez, kid, you look like someone threw your dog off a cliff. Lighten up! You're freakin' me out!"

At that, the young Namikaze looked sheepish, rubbed the back of his head (much like his uncle often did), and apologized. "Heh, sorry about that, Pervy-Sage. Maybe another prank is in order..."

* * *

Darn it, he'd taken the seal off. Darn it, darn it, darn it! And all for what? _Because it'd be too risky to be training in enemy territory. Well, WHO CARES! _ He hadn't even gotten to cut the leaf yet. Why did life have to be so cruel?

Now he was back to nothin' but fire. Yay. Although, the ability to barbecue small animals was somewhat appealing. Obito had been growing very fond of squirrel. Just like chicken! Except faster and smaller. Oh, and waaaay more tender! Yummy...

Well, at least they'd finally crossed the stupid border. Thank goodness, 'cause he was bored as crap! And both he and Naruto had run out of ramen yesterday...no fair... He told his sensei his thoughts and feelings on the matter.

"Obito," the man replied, exasperated, "you and he had packed a combination of over 100 cups of the instant variety. That should have been enough to last you for months, let alone--"

"NO, NO, NO! You don't **understand** the wonders of it all." And here, the Uchiha got a dreamy look on his face. "The perfectly-cooked noodles just waiting to be slurped down with a smooth, savory sauce, a few pieces of tender squirrel--I mean, beef, some carrots and other veggies...aaaahhh, it's like...it's like..."

"Like heaven..." Naruto helped him out, his own dreamy expression adorning his features.

"Yeah..."

Minato's eyebrow twitched before he turned away from the two ramen freaks. "You're both nuts," he muttered. Kakashi and Jiraiya hummed in agreement. Rin just rolled her eyes.

Obito could understand why. It wasn't that Minato didn't like ramen. Oh, no, he loved the stuff! But only--ONLY--when it was Ichiraku's. Instant ramen simply would not do. But Obito and Naruto had no problems corrupting their taste buds if it helped them get through another day without the world's most wonderful shop. And it did help sate the desire, but alas, only briefly, which, of course, called for more ramen. Which, of course, was why they'd run out less than four days after buying it.

And the worst part? Iwa. Didn't. Have. Any. It was the land of Hell. He'd pointed it out to his fellow Ramenite (it was a very exclusive club) and he'd nodded with a look of utter horror and tears barely contained behind his eyelids.

But to top it all off, he was a frickin' girl. Admittedly, he thought he looked kinda hot, but that wasn't the point! He _hated_ it, actually, because they'd passed through a town that morning and at least three guys had tried to either pinch or smack him on the butt! Only Naruto's quick thinking and creepy glares had saved him both the embarrassment and discovery that (gasp!) he was in a transformed state.

But the young jonin didn't have to watch out for Kakashi. 'Nough said, even if the glowing-underwear jutsu had worn off...double darn.

No one bothered Rin, either, but that's because she stood in between the two of them.

And no one, absolutely NO ONE, touched Jiraiya. Heck, most wouldn't even look his direction. It was probably the most humiliating thing he'd ever been through, and Minato could barely hold back his laughter till they'd left the village.

The most interesting part, however, was the men's reaction to Naruto himself. The dude worked the freaking crowd like he'd been born to do it. And the first one to dare to touch him (well, try, anyway)? "Nuh-uh-uh, Mister. You don't want to lose your favorite body parts, do you?" For some strange reason, no one ever questioned "Naruko's" sincerity in "her" statement. The males all pretty much kept their hands to themselves after that. But they sure did watch as "she" walked away. Correction: _especially _when walking away.

Kinda gross.

But they passed through it without any serious incidents, or even any suspicions. And they kept going, and going, and going towards the base-thingy to tear it apart. Well, actually, he'd only be observing and stepping in if needed, just as his fellow chunin and sensei were ordered. In fact, the only one who'd specifically been told to attack and bring it down was Naruto. The rest of them were backup.

...darn it. He really was bored. Super-duper bored.

Till he remembered the exploding head of an enemy. It'd really freaked him out, and pure instinct had been the only thing keeping him going. He'd had a guy's still-hot brains splattered all over him, for goodness' sake. Obito had never felt so sick in all his life. But, for once in true Uchiha style, he'd quickly hidden his emotions and pretended everything was just fine. Just fine.

He really, _really_ needed some ramen right now.

Or at least something to distract him from the hip-swinging Naruko! Geez! Not that he was attracted, though. He just had a morbid fascination and couldn't help but watch as he pulled off his girl-routine a little _too_ perfectly for his comfort. Clearly, he'd been doing some observing and practicing to have gotten it down so well. Seriously, he'd turned himself in to one hot chick; exactly how much porn had he had to look at in order to get the perfect body?

Obito had gone straight up to the jonin and asked him, "Hey! Are you a pervert?"

He blinked for a moment. "Yeah, why?"

Jiraiya had heard and jerked his head around so fast that it looked like his head was going to pop right off. "WHAT! And you criticize ME?"

"Uh-huh. Takes one to know one, after all, and I'm a pervert in only one circumstance." With that, a very big grin split his face, and it was every bit as perverted as one of the sannin's. "And no, I'm not telling you what."

"Oooh, got a lady somewhere, eh?" _Ok, I've changed my mind. Naruto's smile was no where near as lecherous as his!_

But the smile seemed strained all of a sudden. "Had, Jiraiya. Had. I'm not gonna lie to you; by coming here and helping you and the village, I've literally given up everything. Those that are still alive don't even remember me. This was a lifetime commitment and I can't go back. She and many others were very special to me, but they're gone now and I'll probably never see any of them again."

There was a long silence. No one really knew what to say. Until, surprise, surprise, the toad hermit spoke again. "'Many others,' Naruto? Many? How many girlfriends are we talking about here?"

Scoffing, the jonin turned to his irritating leader. "Should've figured YOU'D go for the perverted translation. The 'many others' referred to friends and those I called family. Seriously, when's the last time you gave your brain a bath?"

Practically everyone was rolling in stitches at that. _Way to put the old man in his place, dude!_ Obito thought to himself. Then, he was struck with a realization. _Hey! I stopped thinking about ramen for a bit, there. Huh. Maybe this won't be so bad, after all._

But first, he had a question. "Yo, Naruto."

"Yo."

"Um, this living weapon you mentioned...you said she's a girl, right? Well, what's so special about her?"

He sighed. "Hmm. I can't tell you everything, but I will say this: from what I've read about her, she's been under their control since birth--brainwashed her whole life to never think for herself."

"So, she's done nothing but essentially train to be the best weapon she can," Minato cut in sadly.

Naruto was every bit as sad. "Yeah. And she can't be touched."

Obito, confused, asked, "What do you mean?"

"No pats on the back, no hugs, no handshakes, no threatening gestures--need I go on?" Not...really. But since they were curious and could use whatever information he had, yes.

"Please tell us what you know, Naruto-san," Kakashi demanded. His words were polite, but his voice tone...not so much. Still, it was what Obito called progress.

"Fine, but you're not going to like it." He sighed again. "My main goal is to get her out of there _before_ starting the assault on the base. If they get wind of it and unleash her, things will get ugly FAST. Not only has she been trained to levels _I_ wouldn't touch, but she's also armed to the teeth and has a special, one-of-a-kind bloodline."

"OOOH! TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME!" The Uchiha was excited. Who wouldn't be? It all sounded so cool!

"I've never seen it myself, so I'm not a hundred percent sure what it actually does, but I do know that it has to do with the eyes."

Rin, ever the medic, broke in. "The eyes? So, it's like the Sharingan or the Byakugan?"

"Dunno. Like I said, I've never seen it."

"But those are the only two in the world."

"No, not true. There's at least one more. Still, that's besides the point. I just said it had to do with the eyes; whether or not it's a dojutsu remains to be seen. It might just be something that affects the enemy's eyes or something along those lines."

Everyone nodded. Yup. It was possible. But..."Naruto, what's the other dojutsu you mentioned?"

From the front, Jiraiya and the blonde Ramenite exchanged a glance. "I'll tell you some other time. Just know that there definitely is at least one other. And maybe even two others."

This time, even the pervert was surprised. "What do you mean, kid?"

Rolling his eyes, Naruto told him plainly that they all should really pay more attention to the lore surrounding the Sharingan and Byakugan. "Seriously, how is it that I know more about this than the Uchiha and master spy themselves? I mean, I can understand the others not knowing, since they're not part of those clans and don't have networks that reach unto the far corners of the earth, but you two don't have that excuse."

A light bulb seemed to click for said master spy. "Oh, I think I see what you're getting at: the origin of those two dojutsu. Right?"

"Right!"

"Eh?" the resident Uchiha said. "Are you talking about that rumor that says the Sharingan comes from the Byakugan?"

The sage answered him this time. "Not exactly, brat. They just happen to come from the _same_ source, that's all."

After that, no matter how much everyone in the group tried to pester them, the two refused to speak of it any further, except for Naruto to suggest that they stop talking period because they were getting close to an enemy patrol. "Hide your chakra, if you're not doing so already," Minato ordered quietly as their enemies came into view.

There were four of them, a regular-sized patrol team--three chunin and a jonin. No problem for their group if they had to defend themselves, but it could draw a lot more attention than they needed behind enemy lines.

The four came right up to the six of them. "State your purpose for traveling," the jonin, a woman with short, brown hair and a slightly upturned nose commanded.

Minato took over at that point. "We're trying to reach my sister's home in the northeast near the ocean. My nieces and nephew are driving me and my mother nuts. Plus," he gestured towards Kakashi, "Ken here is about the ugliest thing in existence and chases away all the girls. How am I supposed to settle down with all these kids hanging around?" he demanded, putting up a surprisingly good act.

"Pathetic excuse," the patrol leader spat. Hmm. Maybe not so good an act after all.

"Yeah, well, she shouldn't have sent them to me in the first place and I intend to find out why she did."

Disgusted, the woman sneered but let them pass, stating that if they ever crossed paths again, she'd be happy to take a knife and--

"Wow!" Obito said without thinking. "You sound just like Naruko here! She threatened the same thing!" _Well, at least I remembered not to call "her" Naruto._

"Hmph. At least one of you has brains, then. Now get moving. We don't have all day to waste on the likes of you."

Needless to say, they gladly took the woman's advice. _Whew! Thank goodness we got through that without any trouble!_ He never spoke his thoughts out loud, though; everyone in the group had seemingly come to an unspoken agreement after that incident: play this up to the hilt. There was no telling whether or not they were still being watched. After all, Iwa nins were well-known for their skills in hiding.

While the Land of Fire had forests practically covering every square inch of it, this place was different. It was mostly made up of canyons with gigantic boulders littering the bottom and valleys that, while grassy, usually had very little foliage. Oh, there were a few forests, but there was a reason it was called the Land of Earth. So, the ninjas there had to learn better and more efficient methods of keeping out of sight. It was pure luck that they'd even spotted that patrol, although the enemies had probably figured that there was no reason to disguise themselves that far from their borders.

Still, it wasn't a chance the group including the famous Yellow Flash, one of the Legendary Sannin, a brand new jonin, and three chunin were interested in taking. 'Nough said.

So they used a type of sign language, instead. Too bad for Naruto, though; it was one known only to Jiraiya and his protege and, by extension, said protege's team. There was no way Naruto would be able to effectively join in. He'd have to find other means of expressing his thoughts.

Or so he'd thought, but the group had been at it for no more than a minute when the youthful jonin started joining in. It was, to say the least, impossible. Even Kakashi's eyes lost their half-asleep look and widened to the size of dinner plates once he saw.

But no one questioned the ability out loud. No, that would be stupid; an enemy could be nearby. So they signed it.

_"What the heck, kid? How do you know what we're saying!" (Jiraiya)_

_"What can I say? Fast learner. We've got more important things to worry about now, though. We are definitely being watched. I can smell that at least one of those chunin stayed behind." (Naruto)_

_"How can you smell that when I can't?" (Kakashi)_

_"Enhanced senses from years of practice. Anyway, we'd better start clowning around like regular siblings before they start getting suspicious." (Naruto)_

_"Good idea. Do something stupid, Obito, or should I say Mai?" (Rin)_

_"...I'll get you for that later, Rin." (Obito)_

She'd been the only member not forced to take up a different name. And it seriously pissed Obito off.

So she'd be his first target.

He walked right behind her and flicked her on the back of her head. She turned around to glare and roll her eyes at his stupidity.

Yeah, not one of his best moments, but she was RIN! He couldn't just prank her like everyone else.

However, Naruto had no such hesitations. A clod of dirt in her hair later, and...

"NARUKOOOOO!" The normally-calm girl exploded. To be honest, she had no choice; it was part of their cover. Obito was supposed to be the slightly (ahem) dense younger sister who was pretty but weak; Naruto was the oldest with a plethora of charms and a disarmingly sexy yet dangerous demeanor; Kakashi was the ugly, disgruntled older brother; and Rin was the violent and angry middle child.

It was all Naruto's idea; after all, he'd put himself in the most positive light while the others were left looking like fools and incompetent human beings.

_Thanks a lot, you turd. First, you tattle on my amazing con-artist abilities. Then, you eat all the ramen. And now, you've made me a dolt. I could have forgiven you if it weren't for the ramen!_ But then again, competitiveness for the delicious food was a prerequisite for being in the club, so he technically hadn't done anything wrong by eating the last five cups himself. Not that it made Obito feel any better, of course!

Still, he was highly enjoying the little spat between his "siblings." He'd alternate between, "Yay! Go, Rin!" and "Alright, Naruko! Pull her hair! Pull her hair!"

"Mai," Rin interrupted his cheering, "we're not even hitting each other."

Naruto agreed. "But if you don't stop your stupid yelling, we just might decide to hit you."

Ah. "Good point! Uh, I-I-I'll shut up now."

"There's a good girl," Rin purred. _Man, she's different when she's like this! She's scary and...freakin' HOT!_

It wasn't surprising; she'd been the best actor in their graduating class, although she rarely used her skills on her friends--and he was good enough at seeing through masks to tell, Kakashi being the one exception with his literal mask, the jerk.

Speaking of Kakashi..."Will you all shut up?"

Obito smiled. This was going to be fun! "What's wrong? Did someone shove that stick up your butt a little too far?"

Naruto picked up his train of thought and continued for him. "You know, Ken, that's pretty dangerous. After all, if it goes any further, it'll stab your brain, and then where will you be?" Rin snorted as she tried to hold back her laughter. Granny, also called Jiraiya, didn't even bother holding it back.

The chunin visibly tensed as his jaws tightened and his eyes glinted harshly, but before he had the chance to retort, the Uchiha added a few more comments that he figured might get him killed later. _Oh well. Live while ya can!_

"Yeah, and with those splinters constantly flying out of your mouth every time you speak, I'd say it's pretty close to that point!"

"Hey, hey, hey! Kids!" Minato, alias Arata, snapped back at them. "Either calm down or I'll toss you off a cliff! You've been getting on my nerves since my blasted sister sent you to me, so I won't exactly cry at your funerals, got it!"

Gulp. Oh, they got it, alright. Although their teacher would never do such a thing, their "uncle" most definitely would, which meant..._he_ really would. _I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die!_ _I don't think they have ramen in the afterlife! _Obito's mind screamed.

"Understood, Uncle Arata," Naruto said for all of them.

Minato paused in his steps for just a moment, and it didn't take a genius to figure out why. Cover story or not, it was the first time he'd ever called him "uncle."

They'd arrived. After what felt like years without the wonder that was ramen, the group had finally arrived at the base, and to be honest, it was disappointing.

Located on a flat plain with practically no vegetation but plenty of boulders the size of laundry baskets, it looked something like a giant, stone box. Just a big square, really, with only two doors into the entire installation. It was even brown like a box. Bor-ing. But with there being nowhere to hide and no way to sneak up for a regular shinobi, the thing was perhaps one of the safest bases in all of Earth Country.

No wonder the Hokage had ordered everyone but Naruto to stay out of it unless absolutely necessary; he was the only one with the experience with Shadow Clones and his special transformation who could sneak in and actually get the job done. All he had to do was fly in as a small swarm of bugs or flock of birds.

Ingenious.

And irritating. All he and the others could do was sit and watch. From two miles away and with telescopes. Obito muttered underneath his breath about how unfair it was till Naruto slapped him on the back of his head. Well, one of Naruto's clones slapped him; the original and about 100 other clones had all transformed as birds and gone to first "bombard" the base, and then, to land and...do whatever. He'd been rather vague at that point about what he'd do. _Probably fly by the seat of his pants,_ grumbled Obito. _That's supposed to be MY job!_

And so, they all waited anxiously as every clone of the flock that dispersed carried with it important information.

* * *

There were certain things Naruto had left out in his report to his team when they'd asked about the person at the base. For one thing, he was pretty sure he'd never met her before in the future, but he wasn't certain. Most of the information in that file had been so classified that even he hadn't gotten to it. And for another, he knew perfectly well what her bloodline was. But that was knowledge he couldn't get away with without a good explanation. So he'd left it there and carried a pair of sunglasses in his kunai pouch because he knew that this girl's eyes were extremely sensitive to light.

As he flew with his other clones, questions started pouring through his mind. The girl had been rescued in the original time line, true, but it had been a year later than this. First, the team had done nothing more than scout and gather information. After that, after an entire year of that, they had attacked and not left a single brick in place. Jiraiya and Minato had been a part of that mission, too. If he did this now, Naruto wondered how much it would change history. He ran out of time to consider the possibilities, though, as he and the rest approached the square little area.

_Oh, looky! They have a small courtyard right in the middle, and whaddaya know! There's a guard taking a smoke break! Perfect..._

And with that, 100 birds "attacked," raining down poo upon poo, right over the man's head. Oh yeah. The guard was seriously pissed and swatted at the birds as they dive-bombed him (in more ways than one). There was no one else around, though, so he was on his own.

The first clone that landed on the ground transformed back into himself, then quickly slid underground while the guard was distracted. At the same time, his real self transformed from behind the guard, grabbed both sides of the man's head, and quickly snapped his neck with a twist. Then, the underground clone used the Head Hunter Jutsu his sensei had shown him many years before, quickly burying him before it dispersed.

The real Naruto transformed into the man's likeness and began walking towards the entrance.

No evidence. Quiet, quick, and easy.

* * *

The clone's head shot up. "He's in. Killed a guard, buried him, and took his place."

"Whoa!" Obito whispered in awe. "That took, like--"

"Thirteen seconds," the clone informed him, "from the time he began his attack to the time he finished it."

Minato whistled. _Impressive. He may not know Hiraishin, but with those clones of his, he doesn't really need to._

"What'd he use?" Rin asked.

"Snapped his neck and pulled him underground with the Head Hunter Jutsu."

Minato's eyes raised. "I didn't realize he knew any Earth Styles."

The clone's eyes rolled. "It's the only one he ever bothered to learn and the only one he could find that didn't require him to have an Earth affinity. Of course, he could have just been lazy..." Its head jerked up again. "Boss found her and got her to behave. He's having a few clones bring her back. Should be here soon."

It was shockingly easy to find the kid. The girl was exercising in a room literally two doors down from the courtyard entrance. He'd gone in and she'd immediately stopped, bowed, and in a completely blank tone, asked Naruto, "What is your wish, my lord?"

"I will show you my true form," he stated in an authoritative voice. He knew what to do, thanks to Sai's help in explaining how brainwashed people responded to others. It was said that while Danzo's hobby had been turning people into weapons, Naruto's goal was turning weapons back into human beings. Gaara had merely been the first in a long line of emotionally-stunted shinobi.

So, he dropped his transformation and she showed no reaction whatsoever. Just as expected. It was all in the tone. He reached into his kunai pouch and pulled out the sunglasses. "Put these on," he commanded. She obeyed. He then created two more Shadow Clones (as the rest were scouring the base and quietly killing all except one) and ordered her to follow and obey them. "I'll be along shortly."

Once again, she obeyed. As soon as she was far enough away, he created one last clone and immediately dispelled it, sending a message to all that remained: clear a path for her to get to the southern door. Also, it updated his team. Naruto hoped they were being wise and staying out of it.

He then turned to finding the one researcher in the whole base who had--or would, he wasn't sure which--risked her life to get the young girl out of that place. The woman had been brutally slaughtered in the other time line, but hopefully she could be saved in this one, and he knew just which researcher it was for the simple fact that she was the only woman in the entire installation.

_Found her!_ Two clones noiselessly walked up behind her as she was sitting on a stool in a white lab coat, staring at a test tube. As one knocked her out with a hit to the back of her neck, the other caught the tube before it could fall and break, putting it back where it belonged. Then, the original created another hundred clones, took the woman himself, and left. The rest would finish the job.

All in all, it was...pathetically easy. He wondered why...

* * *

This was a difficult chapter to write for several reasons. A.) I've been thinking more and more about things I'm going to edit in past chapters, and when I do, I'll upload both the changes and a new chapter at the same time. B.) There was also the issue of the half-way working internet connection. Yay, customer service; after about a month of it not working, they finally fixed it. Too bad for them we already switched to another provider. C.) I also want to iron out inconsistencies, if there are any. So far, this story has taken up around 150 pages on my computer, and it's difficult to keep up with it all. D.) My writing has improved and I think it's only fair that the chapters improve with it.

Anyway, I hope you liked this latest chapter. If you didn't, let me know; it's not like I can't change it :)

Oh, and before anyone asks about the squirrels, a friend of mine tried one, and yes, that's exactly how she said they tasted.


	13. Small Hours

Wow, it's been awhile, and not by choice, let me assure you. (See end notes for more details.) Anyway, loving the new manga updates…even if they do screw up my own… *mutter mutter*

Standard disclaimer applies, and I hope you like!

* * *

_Father,_

_ I miss you and I've only met you once. What hurts the most is that I will probably never see you again. What do I say? What _is_ there to say? You are not just dead; you are gone to me forever. Is there any going back? I would give my life a thousand times over if there were. My heart breaks just in knowing that you will never read this and never know how much I respect you and understand the choices you made. But at the same time, I hate you for it. I hate that you voluntarily took yourself away from me the day I was born. I hate that you weren't there for me when I scraped my knees, banged my head, and saw my first friend die. I needed you, but you weren't, couldn't, and never would be there. You couldn't be there for my wedding; you weren't there for the birth of your grandchild; and you won't be there to comfort them in my absence. And yet, Father, all this time, you _have_ been there. I can't help but forgive you for everything. I can't help but wish you hadn't been the one to suffer an eternity of torture. And I can't help but honor your sacrifice for your loved ones with my own-not as a leader, a teacher, or a Hokage, but as a father, a friend, and a brother. Also, I can't help but love you and ask you to forgive me. I wasn't strong enough to hold it back, but I am strong enough to stop it forever. Maybe there will be a way to see you in the next life. Maybe there is a way to free you; I don't know, but if prayers are answered in mercy, you and I will see each other again. Thank you for everything._

Naruto did his best to hurry away from the base with the unconscious woman thrown over his shoulder. She wasn't injured or anything, but he knew perfectly well what his clones were about to do to the place. Besides kill everyone present (aside from the two he'd dragged out of there, anyway), they were also to take whatever notes they could and then blow up the place, and since his clones were nothing if not efficient and quick...he figured it'd be a good idea to get some distance as soon as possible.

But that wasn't the only reason he was in a hurry. Naruto had finally figured out why this mission had been different in the previous timeline. He could see it all now: the Hokage had received information via some spy or another (perhaps even from Jiraiya's network, but it's not like the Sandaime didn't have his own informants, anyway) regarding Iwa's plans to release a sort of "ultimate weapon" on them. Thinking this a Very Bad Thing, the Hokage had ordered his spy-master student and his potential successor to check the place out and, if needed, blow it to smithereens. Sarutobi couldn't exactly send a huge group to demolish the place-Iwa would surely have noticed-so a small and very capable group would have to do, and who better than the Yellow Flash, who could stand up to an entire army by himself, and one of the Legendary Sannin? The three Chuunin tag-alongs were the only backup the pair would need.

So the small team had dispatched with the Hokage using his other student to make certain the sneak-in was successful and they had arrived at the base, snuck in, and discovered something truly disturbing. The so-called "ultimate weapons" the Tsushikage had in his possession weren't machines, devastating techniques, or even amazing warriors; they were children.

Children. PLURAL. As in _more than one_.

Somehow, Naruto had missed reading that in the report. Not surprising, since the whole thing was very highly classified and his clearance had only allowed him to read a portion of it, but still, that definitely should NOT have escaped his attention. And, thanks to his misreading, one of those children was out for blood.

If it were just him, he would have stopped to face him, but he sort of had a passenger at the moment, making it a wee bit difficult. And he couldn't simply pass her off to a clone; they sort of had a tendency to disperse when he got hit hard enough, and Han, the jinchuuriki of the Gobi, was no slouch, kid or not.

Naruto had no doubts whatsoever that Han was the reason the original expedition had gone no further than surveillance. It would have been too risky for them to face an unknown container in enemy territory, so they'd waited a bit until they were sure he'd left before getting the girl out of there. Unfortunately, the time-traveling blonde had been left out of the loop and attacked _without _checking the place out first, a big mistake. Now, thanks to his over-confidence, he was scrambling for a solution that didn't involve getting his teammates involved too much.

He glanced behind him at the figure he could only sense, not see, as he leapt over rocks and whatever half-dead shrubs got in his way. _What to do, what to do?_ he thought, surprisingly calmly. His brain was beginning to think through it finally, and a sort-of plan began to form.

The teen smirked; if things worked out the way he was hoping, he could seriously put a wrench in the Tsuchikage's plans. Oh, yeah, the guy was going to be _pissed._ Whoever thought he'd get to tick him off in this timeline AND the other? He'd have to remember to thank Ayu next time he saw the mysterious man.

* * *

_What a weird little girl_, Rin thought as she stared at the dark-haired, sunglasses-wearing eight-year-old before her. In what appeared to be a typical Jonin-style outfit, except that it was a deep red-and-black combination rather than the tans Rock preferred, the kid seemed harmless and completely ordinary...if she didn't consider the fact that the girl hadn't moved an inch since the two clones had brought her by and told her to follow Minato's and Jiraiya's instructions before dispersing. It was somewhat...disturbing.

And they'd naturally given her charge over their guest. Men. Why'd they automatically assume that, just because Rin was a girl, she'd be the perfect, mothering-type? True, she did tend to spoil her teammates with her medical abilities, but that was different; for one thing, it was her job, and for another, she didn't really like little kids all that much...

..despite the fact that she was only four years older and therefore hardly more than a little kid herself.

And the worst of it? Obito was standing next to the stranger and poking at her curiously. "Hey, Sensei?" _Poke, poke._ "Is she alive?" _Poke._ "She kinda ain't movin'."

Kakashi rolled his eyes, an impressive emotional expression for him. "Idiot," he muttered as he watched his teammate continue to poke the girl's shoulder as though he were examining a dead animal with a stick-which the Uchiha had actually done on more than one occasion, much to their embarrassment.

But even the dead animal had shown more of a reaction than this child. The medic wondered if she'd ever find a fellow ninja who was even halfway normal or at least sane. She was pretty sure she herself was, right?

Rin decided she should stop asking questions she didn't want the answers to and turned to observe their team leaders instead. They had wandered off a short distance from the group, sitting down behind another large boulder, and were talking quietly. Too quietly for her to hear under normal circumstances.

However, she had excellent chakra control, and as she focused just the right amount to her ears, she managed to get a nice chunk of their conversation as she sat down, closed her eyes, and rested against her pack.

Minato looked rather disturbed as he addressed the older Sannin. "...do you think the Hokage would allow that? You'd be gone for-"

"I don't have much of a choice. Can't just leave them all on their own like that. He's the child of prophecy, I'm sure of it, and if he turns...it won't be pretty, believe me. I think I don't have any choice."

"But how can you be sure he was telling the truth?" Minato's almost desperate voice whispered.

Jiraiya snorted. "Because it's Danzo, that's why. You saw how badly injured he was when he came back to the village that day. And what about the sudden disappearance of half his ROOT forces on a single mission? No one except a very small handful of people knows about that. And with how ambitious the creep is? It just makes sense, and it'd be just like Ol' Band-Aid to try it."

Rin noticed her sensei had gone rather mute as the Toad Sage added one more piece of information that surprised the medic more than anything else she'd overheard.

"Besides, do you really think your nephew would lie, much less have bad information?" The white-haired man chuckled. "I'm telling you, that kid is a regular gold mine when it comes to other people. Whatever his spy network is, it makes mine look like an amateur created it."

The Jonin chuckled, as well. "Yeah, he does know a lot more than he's letting on, doesn't he?"

"Oh, you have no idea. Did you know that he can actually go inside his own mind to view his memories any time he wants?"

The eavesdropper blinked. _What the...?_ Was such a thing even possible?

Apparently, Minato agreed. "Are you serious?" His voice expressed awe and more than just a tinge of shock.

"Yup. That would explain why he has such an impressive mental block on him, too. But ya know, it's also kind of surprising that he can do half of the things we've seen."

"Why?"

_Why, indeed?_ Rin echoed.

"Looks like someone messed with his mind a bit when he was younger. _Too_ young."

Rin didn't like the way he emphasized that, and neither did the boy's uncle. "What are you talking about?"

"Someone used genjutsu on his mind, and it's a miracle that he isn't a broken wreck right now."

At that, the Chuunin stopped listening. There was no more need to. She'd seen the effects of that on little children whose minds were still in that very fragile stage. If the technique was strong enough, it was entirely possible to completely destroy the victim. It was one of the reasons that genius child-ninjas, like Kakashi had been, were so incredibly rare. That teammate of hers was no doubt a pain in the butt (a very hot pain, but a pain nonetheless), but even so, he was a _brilliant_ and extremely talented kid with one of the most advanced minds the village had ever seen. It was that advanced, genius intellect that had made him first a Genin and then a Chuunin at the youngest age in Konoha history. Even at the age of five, genjutsu (the lower levels of it, at least) was nothing to him.

She'd bet her life savings that Naruto was not at all the same. Other children had become vegetables, a few had committed suicide, and a larger percentage than she was comfortable with had been sent to the psychiatric wards. Some from just a single exposure. And if what Jiraiya had implied was true, that Naruto had suffered _more than once_, then it was a miracle for him to be alive, let alone what he had referred to as "a broken wreck."

But at least it explained a few things to her mind. _Brain damage. So that's why he's such an idiot. Hmph. Figures it'd be incurable..._ It only took a second for her to connect the dots to her other teammate, Obito. The Uchiha and the Namikaze acted so much alike...was it possible?

After all, weren't the Uchiha known especially for their genjutsu capabilities?

Just thinking about it sent a cold shiver up her spine. But even with the similarities in personalities, Rin doubted that was the case. Yes, they were well known for it, but her teammate's family was also well-known for their insistence on having the most powerful warriors the Hidden Villages had to offer. No one would mess with a kid whose parents had been genetically chosen specifically to produce him, right?

At least, she was pretty sure they wouldn't...

Rin was suddenly and almost violently broken from her thoughts by a new pressure in the air. Chakra-and a lot of it-had just been released in what had to have been a massive attack. Several seconds later, the sound of it reached the small group.

**BOOM!**

Startled, she stood up and glanced in the direction of the base, only to find what looked like a smoking pile of debris even from that distance. She really hoped Naruto was alright. He really should've been back before he blew the place, in her opinion. What was going on?

And...what was up with that other feeling? It was almost as though Hell itself had opened up, her senses were registering so much pure evil. A shudder ran up Rin's spine, and she saw from her fellow teammates' expressions that she wasn't the only one.

Obito had stopped poking at the girl-with his finger stopped half a foot from her shoulder-and had turned his head in the direction the smoke was coming from. Kakashi's normally droopy eyes had widened, and a cold sweat had started at his brow.

_W-what is this?_

She looked over at her sensei for answers, only to see him frozen in fear and Jiraiya muttering expletives not quite underneath his breath. The words "jinchuuriki" and "weapon" registered in her ears.

"S-sensei?" she called to Minato, nervous as a train wreck.

His eyes turned to hers slowly, and as soon as he looked at her, it was as though he snapped back to reality. Turning towards the Sage, he said, "Jiraiya-sensei, I've gotta go back him up. Stay here with the kids, 'k?" And with that, the Yellow Flash disappeared in a yellow...flash. _Huh. Guess he must've put one of those seals on his nephew's clothing. Couldn't do that otherwise. Makes me wonder if we have them, too..._

* * *

_Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!_ Minato's mind screamed at him. _I knew I shouldn't have let him go by himself!_ But he was rooted to the ground and couldn't seem to move. It had nothing to do with the chakra itself. No, he'd dealt, or at least encountered, jinchuurki before, so that wasn't the problem. Instead, it was the overwhelming fear that Naruto might be hurt.

That very fact in and of itself was shocking to him. He'd known the boy for such a short time, but already he was that attached. Was that how all uncles saw their nephews? Maybe, but all the Jonin knew was that he would die before he let anything harm his only living relative. If only he could move-!

It was Rin's voice that broke him out of the paralysis-an embarrassing situation for such a respected war-hero as himself-and he turned to his old teacher before he activated the seal he'd placed on his nephew's jacket.

The world around him seemed to pause, each flying insect appearing to freeze in time, and even the molecules in the air themselves stopped as he called upon his chakra and sent it towards the seal he'd placed on his nephew. With that, the world around him disappeared for a brief moment as he entered a dimensional void, only to appear a few feet away from Naruto less than a moment later.

It'd taken him a lot of work to get Hiraishin, the Flying Thunder God technique, just right. The reason for that was in how it worked, which was literally on the theory that one traveling fast enough, past the speed of light, could go back in time (1). Minato, being the genius he was, had figured that light could only go so quickly, given the laws of nature and physics-his, in particular. A person going so fast within the Earth's gravity and friction would be shredded.

So, he'd created a unique seal that was originally supposed to only negate the effects of gravity-and any other laws of nature that could harm him at that speed-on his body while using the Hiraishin. But when that presented its own problems (such as staying on the surface of the planet without anything holding him there), he realized there'd have to be more to it than that. Much more.

It wasn't until he'd read the notes of space-time ninjutsu that a certain past Hokage had left behind that he had been able to get past the roadblock to his progress. The process had taken him three years to create and four to master afterwards. He'd invented the Rasengan at around the same time just to give himself a break and keep from getting frustrated with the difficult procedures.

Kushina had been one heck of a great help with her clan's knowledge of seals, and so, here he was now, staring at his young nephew, whom he had not even known for a year, as the boy calmly faced down his opponent—the jinchuuriki.

_I wonder which bijuu he has..._ the Yellow Flash thought idly. He figured he could just watch for a bit and step in only if Naruto seemed to be in trouble. After all, the young Jonin did seem to be holding his own quite effectively; the massive crater they were standing in told him that much.

Besides, Naruto's glare pretty much dared him to even _think _of getting involved. _Whoa! I could've sworn that only Kushina knew how to give the Glare- of-a-Thousand-Deaths-if-You-Don't-Back-Off. Apparently, I was wrong. Yeesh..!_

But apparently, he didn't mind an audience. "Pay attention, Sensei; you're about to see what a true master of the Shadow Cone and Sexy Jutsu can do," he said as he just stood there, eyeing the newcomer with one eye and the container with the other, all while keeping completely still even as the wind ruffled his jacket.

"True master, eh?" Minato chuckled. "I'm looking forward to seeing that."

And he did. Oh, did he.

Right after Naruto, with the biggest, thousand-watt grin he'd ever seen, struck up a conversation with the Iwa nin. Minato shook his head in confusion. Since when did enemies chit-chat on the field of battle? He had one strange relative.

"Yo, Hanny-chan! How's life been treatin' ya? Gobi-chan been a little restless lately?"

As the fumed, the older Leaf nin's eyes widened. He now knew what bijuu the teen carried, but-

"How did you know about that?" the recently-labeled Hanny-chan hissed, taking the words right out of his mouth.

At that, the young Jonin turned dead serious. "I know more about the bijuu than almost anyone alive; of course I'd know about you, Han. But I wasn't aware that you'd be here in this nightmarish hole."

Han gulped. Well, at least Minato thought he gulped; it was just a little hard to tell with all the bandages around his face, arms, legs, and pretty much whatever other skin was showing. If it weren't for his red pants and vest, he'd look like a mummy or maybe a hospital patient. And what was that thing on his back?

Naruto wasn't finished, though. "They're the ones who did it, aren't they? They sealed it in you not too long ago. But in order to do that to someone your age..."

"SHUT UP!" Han screamed, enraged.

"Insane much?" Minato quietly quipped. Naruto snorted slightly with the effort to hold back his laughter.

The teen continued without hearing the brief interruption. "YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT IT! I do this gladly for my Tsuchikage. My grandfather knows what he's doing, and I will NOT have you slandering his name!" At that, the furious teen attacked with a vicious charge.

That is, he _tried_ to, only to be stopped dead in his tracks after getting five feet from Naruto. There he stood, frozen, one foot up in the air as though he had been about to take his next step towards his target. Han's eyes widened as he stared at the young Jonin, who was staring him straight in the eyes just a few dozen inches away, kneeling with his hand on the ground. But he couldn't move his jaws enough to speak.

"Yeah, that's what I was getting at with the whole 'True Master of the Shadow Clone and Sexy Jutsu' thing. It's an attack that ya just never see comin'!" the blonde remarked happily, while his uncle figured he'd just take a seat and see how it all turned out.

He was looking around for a spot when he saw her, some woman in a lab coat lying several meters away from the crater. _Interesting_, Minato thought as he moved next to her and sat down after seeing she was just unconscious. _Well, nice view of the fight, at least._ And the woman's legs, too, but he was pointedly looking away from them. Besides, Kushina's were better. He wondered if he should ask her out on a date when they got back...

In the meantime, the boy had been speaking to the p.o.'ed in an almost carefree, amused manner. "You should know that there are some drawbacks to using this kind of transformation. For one thing, each clone that becomes a creature has to lower its chakra level to whatever would be normal for it, or else you'd sense something off for sure. And that is especially hard to do with _objects._"

His opponent glared from behind his mask (it was just about all he could do, after all). Minato-who was rather fascinated at where this was going-could only assume he didn't care for the younger blonde's explanation, but that didn't seem to matter to the other Leaf shinobi, as he continued with one gigantic grin on his face.

"In order to transform back, you have to raise your levels at just the right moment so that your enemy can't catch it in time. If you can do that, you have truly mastered the Sexy Jutsu, 'cause, you see, it ain't what you transform into that makes it sexy..." Naruto's grin changed to a smirk and his voice dropped as he continued, "...it's how you _use_ it."

And with that, what appeared to be hundreds of Naruto clones sprang up from rocks, dirt clods, and...was that dust?

On the one hand, Minato's jaw dropped. For 13-year-old to casually use an extremely draining Jonin jutsu, combine it with his own brand of Transformation, and then to explain just how difficult it was and use it at a level like _this_? It was unreal.

He'd had individual clones transform into particular _colors_ of dirt clods so that the couldn't see the ink seals underneath. And so what if they got stepped on? Who would notice a small poof of smoke from stepping on dirt? It was the fact that he hadn't gotten his chakra levels down low enough with those dirt clods that made it so risky. Any enemy that had been paying enough attention would have noticed a slight reading in a certain patch of ground, enough to alert said enemy of a trap.

However, Naruto had had a plan for that; all he'd needed to do was get Han to focus only on him and then angry enough to charge ahead without thinking or checking his surroundings, and-presto!-the teen stepped into the seal and essentially trapped himself. It was pretty ingenious, really; the kid was brilliant.

"Not bad, Naruto. Not bad," the Yellow Flash muttered under his breath.

On the other hand, Minato just had to wonder about this young nephew of his. What would he do with his captive? Would he kill the Iwa nin with all his attacking clones? It'd be the safer option, but that also depended on the seal used to keep the bijuu prisoner...

...and speaking of said prison and prisoner, it looked like one was attempting to stage a break-out.

A strange, silvery chakra began emitting from his pores even as Naruto's seal was sucking it away. But Naruto didn't seem worried in the slightest (although Minato was certainly a bit more tense than before-that chakra radiated pure, unadulterated evil).

"Nuh-uh-uh, Hanny-chan. I'm no fool. I know very good and well you can't break out of that seal even _with_ the Gobi's help, so quit trying." Despite his words, it was obvious that this was taking a lot of concentration from the blonde. How he was still able to carry on a conversation, Minato didn't know.

A feral growl was his only response as the levels of demonic energy kept growing. (Right at the same rate as the Yellow Flash's blood pressure, strangely enough.)

Naruto pretended he understood the animalistic noises, though. "Oh, you say you wanted to know how I could do that?" he asked, pretending to be deeply engrossed in the conversation even as the bits of silver chakra simply sank into the seal at the nin's feet. "Well, like I said, I know a lot about the bijuu, so of course I have at least _some_ ability to counteract them. Geez...give me some credit..."

An expletive left Minato's mouth at that. He'd just connected the dots. His nephew's knowledge of bijuu and sealing (not to mention Madara Uchiha), his horrible childhood, repeated mentions of someone trying to make him a weapon, his ridiculous chakra capacity and stamina-heck, even his birthmarks all pointed to one thing: at some point, Naruto had been a jinchuuriki. All he ever seemed to talk about in his past had to do with suffering and death.

_"The man. He called me a monster, said that demon-boys couldn't do anything about it..."_

_"When I was born, one of the leaders of the village decided I'd make a nice 'experiment.' That's how my father died-protecting me..."_

_"After my sensei died, I got very angry and depressed. He'd died trying to get rid of those jerks who wanted me either dead or used as a weapon and succeeded at the cost of his life..."_

_"I'm not dead now, but I did manage to get rid of the thing that was causing me all the trouble...I'm finally free of that thing..."_

The Jonin began shaking slightly-very slightly. Naruto, his only living relative (so far; who knew what other surprises his father had gallivanting around the Shinobi Nations?), had slit his own throat just to get out of being a jinchuuriki. Sure, it may have been to keep those around him safe, but still!

What other things was he capable of?

The more he watched the boy as he drained away the jinchuuriki's chakra now faster than Han could draw it out, the more he wondered. Just who was Naruto Namikaze? And how in the world could anyone forget him?

But before he could ponder on those questions any longer, he saw something that truly chilled him to the bone.

Rin had followed him.

* * *

She had known it was stupid, not to mention downright reckless, but she was worried, darn it! And when she was worried or scared, Rin tended to do stupid things. It was in her nature, perhaps; her father had been rather similar. The difference was that _she_ wasn't going insane while he did. At least, that was her hope.

How in the world Naruto had ever found out about him, she didn't know. But only the Hokage and maybe two or three others were supposed to be aware of that information. It wasn't that she didn't actually _have_ a clan name; she simply couldn't _use_ it.

After all, the daughter of the daimyo of Kirigakure was supposed to be dead, or in hiding, at the very least. And it was all his fault. _All_ of it. That...monster had done something to her father-to his mind. It was the only explanation; he would never have done that on his own. No, it all started after the daimyo had received a visit from Yagura, the Mizukage. What had he told or done to him to make her father murder the mother of his child and almost the child, as well?

It just-it didn't make sense! Jiro wasn't a monster! It was that _THING_! _He_ was the one who cut her open with the edge of a sword, not her loving parent. But why? It was a question she might never find the answer to, but she asked it daily nonetheless.

Yagura...only a single day after his visit, the daimyo had gone positively crazy. He'd picked up his sword and literally hacked through whatever objects or too-slow servants were in his way just to get to the both of them. No guards interfered; they worked for him-had sworn to protect and obey him-so of course they'd stay out of it!

...all except one, that is, and he was the one and only reason Rin had survived. Never having been told his name, she was shocked when her newly-assigned personal bodyguard stepped in his employer's way.

She remembered that hour very clearly. As her mother finished reading her a bedtime story in her room, her father-drenched in blood and bits of random debris-had burst in with a sword in his hand. No amount of pleading seemed to get through to him as his crazed and bloodshot eyes fell upon his intended victims. He'd started with his wife. It was over for her within moments, but he'd still...kept going for so long.

Then, he had turned his head and moved towards her, his wife's blood dripping from his hair and down his face. Rin had shivered in terror, having lost her lunch some time ago, and was shaking too badly to move away; her pink, frilly, and all-around girly nightgown was stained with the remainder of her dinner, and even with her fear, she had wondered if perhaps her shaking wasn't partially due to the now-damp clothing. (The Land of Water was typically quite chilly, after all.) It wasn't until years later that Rin realized that she'd gone into shock and wasn't thinking clearly in the least.

The closer the insane man had stalked, the further she tried to move away, but already being against a wall ruined that, and so he came closer and closer as she ceased her frenzied crawling backwards.

If it weren't for him, the man whose face she had never seen and whose name she would almost certainly never know, the daimyo would surely have murdered his own child. But instead, he had come bursting through the door-just as she'd always imagined a hero would-and promptly...sliced off her father's head.

It landed in her lap.

After that, Rin's memory became fuzzy. She did, however, have the distinct impression that he had cleaned up what he could of the mess, put a blindfold over her eyes, and carried her out of there, away from the city, away from the dangerous and unstable Mizukage, and away from what very little remained of her childhood. Then, somehow, he'd gotten her out of the nation itself and handed her to what must have been either a contact or a friend who had taken her to Konoha-the only place, she remembered him saying, that she would be safe.

Two months later, she was enrolled in their ninja academy and the rest was history.

Except she still couldn't kill, and that, for a shinobi, was very, very bad.

So perhaps it wasn't merely due to fear or worry that she had gone after her sensei to help Naruto. Sure, his safety was a concern to her and she wanted to be able to heal any injuries he sustained, but was that it? It had only taken her a moment to find that an honest answer would be no. No, Rin had really wanted to prove she was a capable kunoichi to her teammates and to herself-to prove that she could be ruthless, that she could and would kill if necessary, and that she wouldn't break like a china doll as the blood dripped off her fingers.

Of course, now she realized what a colossal and foolish mistake it was. Now that Minato's left arm had been burned, now that Naruto had been thrown several yards in some haphazard direction, and now that darkness was beginning to close her eyes-yes, she finally understood just how stupidly she'd acted.

_I'm sorry, Kakashi...Mother...Minato-sensei and Naruto...I guess I just keep failing..._

* * *

Naruto had to chuckle. He'd seen the look on his father's face as he held a rather one-sided conversation with Han. It was priceless! And it was pathetically easy to read. "You're actually chit-chatting with the enemy?" he might as well have screamed.

Eh, Minato had a point there; most sane ninjas would simply kill the guy and be done with it.

But Naruto wasn't normal and never had been. He used talking to focus himself on his task. When he and the rest of Team Seven had faced Zabuza and Haku, he'd talked-talked the enemies into helping them, even. When he'd faced Orochimaru the first time, he'd taunted both it (seriously, which gender _had_ that body been?) and Sasuke enough to hold the freak-show off...for awhile. He'd carried on a conversation with Kiba and managed to focus so efficiently that he'd actually farted himself to a win. Oh, and then there was Neji; a lengthy discussion on the virtues of family and a nasty uppercut to the jaw later, and the guy's whole worldview was changed. Then, there was Gaara-a simple yet audacious beat-him-up-till-he-stops-ignoring-my-words approach did the job just fine.

Yes, those were all well and good, but the best? The most ultimate one? Pain. First, he'd beaten the guy into submission, and then he'd talked him into fighting for them rather than against them (much like Zabuza).

Yeah, Naruto _definitely _wasn't ordinary.

And he was very, very focused on draining every shred of Gobi's chakra he could with that seal he'd created just for this purpose. Took some time setting the darn thing up, too. Maybe he shouldn't have blown up the base quite so quickly...both it and the Oodama Rasengan had hit at the same time, making the noise at least twice as loud and his team twice as likely to be nosy.

He _really_ didn't need nosy. But he got it in the form of a Yellow Flash. _He'd better keep out of this. That's all I have to say_, he thought to himself as he glared at the older Jonin. Minato noticeably flinched and backed off after a bit, choosing to sit next to the Doc, as he'd decided to call her, while pointedly ignoring the fact that the woman was wearing a skirt that was somewhat...hiked up.

Hilarious. Who'd' a ever thought the famous future Yondaime was nervous around an unconscious woman? Then again, it was probably in self-preservation, considering Kushina was rather well-known for her hot-blooded temper.

Anyway, at least Minato was keeping his mouth shut so that Naruto could open his and concentrate better on drawing the chakra towards himself. At least it wasn't demonic, thanks to the converters he'd made sure to draw in the seal; he wasn't sure this body could handle it anymore, so better safe than very sorry. But it would probably take awhile, because tended to have a butt load-

A familiar chakra presence rushing towards his location caught his attention, and his concentration faltered.

"NO!" he cried, but it was too late. The seal shattered and let the transforming teenager free. Correction: The seal shattered and let the _furious, not-quite-sane_ teenager transforming _into the deadly, five-tailed dolphin horse demon_ free. Yeah, it sounded much better like that.

Within half a second, he was upon him, attempting to crush him with a chakra-enhanced stomp to his head, but Naruto was faster than that. He quickly rolled out of the way...

...only to be caught by one of the "tails." Unlike the Kyuubi cloak, it didn't transform into the shape of a hand; it stayed in its tail form and simply wrapped around his waist and tossed him aside like he was little more than a pebble-_ironic, considering most of my clones had been just that_, Naruto thought to himself as intense agony engulfed him from head to toe.

It didn't take a genius to figure out why. After all, every jinchuuriki knows that a bijuu's chakra is toxic to ordinary humans. It was the reason why he'd had to be extra careful when sparring as he neared the end of his other life. Still, it wasn't until the higher-tailed states that it became uncontrollable, and at the lower levels, it had to be willingly _forced_ into another's system. Clearly, Han had done just that, the little booger.

However, those were the least of his worries right now. Yes, he realized as he lay on his back and sucked in air greedily after every scream of agony, he really should be concentrating on containing their enemy who now seemed to be up to two tails.

But first, he needed to deal with the poisonous chakra eating away at his insides like acid.

"AND JUST HOW THE CRAP AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!" he yelled out loud as he curled up into a little ball, insides continuing to spasm. Seriously, how was he supposed to do that when he didn't have the Kyuubi anymore?

_Wait a second…_ It dawned on Naruto right then that, while his tenant might be gone, the seal on his stomach was still very much present, even if it was a bit…run down.

Still, if it had managed to hold the most powerful demon in existence, then surely a little Gobi backlash would be no problem!

He closed his eyes and REALLY concentrated, pulling the demonic energy away from his organs and sending it to the seal on his stomach, gathering whatever other foreign chakra he encountered along the way. It was agonizing and, though only dimly aware of it, he was screaming. It only took two seconds of that for him to pass out, body still tense and drawn into itself.

In his mindscape...

A blonde man stood in a room, floor covered in water up to his shins, with a gigantic cage directly in front of him. And directly in front of that? A silvery mist was taking a spherical shape even as Naruto began pushing it through the banged-up bars.

"Gah-!" he cried out, struggling with the effort. It was mainly an exercise of the force of his will, not the force of his muscles, but it was searing his hands, making concentration difficult. He could literally _hear_ the sizzle as his skin began to look extra-crispy. (Naruto wasn't sure he'd ever be able to eat fried chicken again after that.)

Little by little, he was able to herd the almost-glittery substance into the cage, and there-he sighed in relief-it quickly dissipated as the seal did its job by taking the chakra and converting it into his own. It had done it with the Kyuubi for over twenty years; what was a little bit of Gobi overflow even _with _its somewhat decrepit state?

And with the deadly chakra finally gone, he snapped back to reality and stood back on his feet to see something that made a cold shiver run up his spine. There was no telling how long he had really been out; one hour in his mind could easily have been no more than a quarter of a second in the real world, but Naruto had a sneaking suspicion that he'd been out of it for longer than that.

Han was at three tails, his face almost unrecognizable as human. The bandages had seemingly been stripped off his face and merely dangled in the air, blowing in the wind haphazardly, and the teen's face had become rather…odd-looking. It was almost as though it were nothing but a giant snout, covered in what appeared to be silver scales or even veins. _No wonder he wears a mask…_ Naruto thought to himself with amusement.

Thankfully, for the moment, his father was holding his own, giving Naruto a little more time to plan. He didn't want to kill the jinchuuriki, but it might be for the best; Leaf was at war, and there was Madara's Moon's Eye Plan to consider, after all. Still, it would only stop the bijuu for a short time. Eventually, it'd just reform, and then what?

The blonde quickly came to a solution that wouldn't kill the teen but also wouldn't let the bijuu free.

Seal it up, Orochimaru-style.

So, he created around a hundred Shadow Clones or so (numbers really meant nothing to someone with his stamina) and charged towards the transformed bijuu container, only for his eyes to widen in shock as another tail began forming. Even from two hundred yards away, Naruto could still hear Minato curse as Han got faster, stronger, and…more out of control.

One silver tail raced through the air at such speed that Minato was forced to throw his one special kunai (darn man had raced off after him without thinking to grab more, much less his weapons pouch, which had his unknown-son fuming) in order to dodge it.

Naruto absently wondered how many times the famous Yellow Flash could actually use that thing before its batteries ran out.

Apparently…a lot. A flash here, a flash there, and BOOM! Han was thrown right back into the crater Naruto's Giant Rasengan had formed. Minato stood at the edge, foot still extended into the air, breathing heavily.

Hiraishin Version Two took a lot more chakra than Version One, it would seem.

No more than two seconds had passed since Naruto had begun running towards them.

_Ooookay, now I see why Iwa nins have a flee-on-sight order whenever they see him._ Without wasting a single moment, Naruto made the short leap towards the rising jinchuuriki, five of his clones forming Wind Swords, another one going to help Minato, a few others grabbing chakra-laced paper from the original's pouch, and the rest "politely suggesting" to Han that he stay down.

"Nuh-uh-uh! No moving around, now, Hanny-chan. Boss-man over there wants to have a few—" POOF!

"—words with you," another clone finished for the recently dispersed one.

Yes, all in all, it was very polite.

Minato landed beside him, clearly trying to catch his second wind. _Just how long was I out of it, anyway?_ He didn't realize he'd voiced his thoughts out loud.

"About five minutes, give or take," his father replied. "If I had just remembered to bring my weapons pouch—"

"Why don't you use the Shadow Shuriken Jutsu?"

"…the what?" Minato asked, clearly in confusion.

A light suddenly dawned in Naruto's head. His father wasn't using it because it hadn't been invented yet. In fact, if forced to guess, he'd say that the Yellow Flash himself was, er, would be, the one to invent it in the near future for this exact reason. So that made it somewhat…difficult to use.

Another "Oops" moment to add to Naruto's rapidly-growing collection.

"Oh. I take it you've never heard of it, then?" the blonde asked nervously.

"Obviously not." The Yellow Flash's irritation was pretty clear.

"Ah. Um, I'll tell you about it later, then."

"Great. Now, can we get back to handling the transforming jinchuuriki or are we just going to stand around talking all day?"

"Huh? Oh, that? Relax; my clones have got it under control for now," he insisted, even as one sailed over their heads, slammed up against the wall of the crater, and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

"WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO PLAY AROUND, NARUTO!" The younger blonde stepped away from the furious older one in surprise. Since when did Minato yell? "Rin's hurt. I've left a clone of mine with her, but it's bad and we need to get her help fast, alright?"

Naruto went cold at that news. Deathly cold. Was that what Ayu had meant when he'd told him that he couldn't save everyone? He gulped even as he struggled to contain his shaking hands before turning to his future father. "A-alright, but we'll have to seal him; we can't simply kill him or we could make things worse for us in the long run."

Gritting his teeth, the older Jonin said, "And just how the h*** do you suppose we do that, Naruto?"

Ah. Yet one more "Oops." He smiled sheepishly. "Guess you haven't heard of the Five Elements Seal, huh?"

"…"

"Right. Later. I just need an opening to his jinchuuriki seal before I can put it on over it."

Easier said than done. Even his clones with the Wind Swords were having problems cutting through the incredibly dense chakra. Heck, in his own four-tailed state, even the Kusanagi hadn't been able to pierce through, and although this chakra was definitely weaker, it was still powerful enough to cause headaches.

A blast of steam from Han wiped out a group of three clones who had been preparing to launch one of their members above the enraged teen. Two had just hoisted one into the air when the contraption on Han's back spouted the deadly steam in their general direction. Naruto absently noted that the jinchuuriki's aim wasn't all that great and had blasted it over a wide area to catch them.

That told the young Jonin how to dodge, but not how to counteract it. It was very troubling, considering the Steam sub-element was created by mixing water and fire, and neither one by itself would stop the combination. So, wind would have to do.

The five clones with the Wind Swords it was. (He'd finally broken down and decided to name a few of his more-used techniques…secretly, anyway. He'd fibbed a bit when he'd told his team that it was because he'd made so many that it was pointless to keep up with them. In truth, Naruto was just sick of the annoying, little twit council members forcing him to get them all copyrighted and approved—something about too many Forbidden Techniques in the world as it was.)

On the one hand, Naruto got a great idea for a new movie: "When Clones Attack." On the other hand, he had to tell his father to "stay out of it or else you'll get diced." Minato wasn't too pleased to hear that, but he did at least keep away as the copies attacked.

Clone 1 leapt from the ground, spun in the air, and brought the sword down on the enemy's left arm, leaving a small but negligible cut.

Clone 2 was hoisted into the air and propelled forwards by three other clones and headed straight for Han's heart. The teen, who was now more beast than human with his altered physical features, twisted at the last moment and roared in fury as the incredibly sharp instrument grazed his side and several ribs.

Clone 3 merely lunged from ground level and managed to plunge his Wind Sword (darn kids naming things got to him again…) into the ninja's right ankle, severing the tendon. A screech of intense agony greeted Naruto's ears.

Clone 4 simply did his best to sneak up on him from behind and made an attempt to slice his head off. That was a complete failure, as Tail Number 1 stabbed him through the brain and therefore dispersed him.

It was Clone 5 who had the best results, however. He got a thumb, meaning no ninjutsu, if Han even knew any other than whatever that Steam contraption could do, that is. Very few people in Naruto's time were even remotely aware of the theories behind seal-less jutsu, so he doubted that was an option for the jinchuuriki, either. Yup, it was one heck of a lucky shot.

All of those clone attacks hit within the same three-second timeframe, working in almost perfect synchronization with the surrounding clones, who threw random and sometimes insane techniques (the Double Female version of the Sexy Jutsu, for example) at Han to keep him occupied long enough for the five to even hope to get a hit or two in; they'd used mostly wind and water, thinking a little liquid might help cool the steam down a tad, if nothing else.

And then…

The jinchuuriki, wounds bleeding freely, let out a roar that made Naruto's hair on the back of his neck stand straight up. He had a bad feeling and grabbed hold of Minato with his right hand.

"Uh, Sensei? I think you'd better get to Rin and the lady. It's best you get them out of here right now, because, if I'm right…" he drifted off for a moment as he watched the four tails demolish every single clone remaining and then point to a spot above the jinchuuriki's head. "Great, he's doing it, alright! Get out of here! Move it!"

"What are you—"

Naruto cursed. He didn't have time to explain this to his father! He created a herd of clones once again and used a group of them to grab his startled sensei and literally toss him as far as they could (which was pretty far, considering they all used chakra). While Minato was taking his first clone-inspired flying lesson and Han was forming a giant ball of pure chakra, Naruto quickly phased underground as, in groups of four, his remaining copies created the same type of barrier that had been used during the Chuunin exams that had claimed the life of the Third, each one of the barriers fixed right behind the other in a straight line in the direction the other Leaf nin had been tossed.

It was a technique that he really didn't like using all that much, to be honest. He'd only used it twice in the future, and he'd never told a single soul how he'd learned it, and nor did he intend to now. Some things were simply best left unsaid.

As that thought ran through his mind, an incredible shockwave ran through the dirt around him. All he could do was hope and pray he'd thrown Minato far enough away and that the barrier would provide some form of protection. Naruto knew that he himself was safe; he'd managed to suppress his chakra and travel through the earth till he was situated directly underneath the jinchuuriki.

Of course, he was a quarter of a mile underneath him, but hey, it had paid to be cautious more than once before.

He waited there as he received the memories of all his dispersed clones, wincing with each one and at least grateful that the Gobi was weaker than the Kyuubi, meaning that, while the barriers were being destroyed, they were also slowing the blast down considerably. He sighed in relief as the last one survived and the clones dispersed on their own to let him know it was safe to come out. If it weren't for his chakra augmenting his oxygen, he would've suffocated—not a pleasant experience.

But he wasn't going to spring up any old fashioned way. Oh, no. Naruto was going to come out in style!

Shooting through the ground at a very high speed, the little blonde headed straight for the confused jinchuuriki; he could imagine the Gobi's thoughts: "How the heck did that blonde airhead survive? And where's he at, anyway?"

In all of Naruto's many, many battles, it had always fascinated him to find that the most arrogant and powerful of enemies never bothered to make sure the chakra coming from under them was actually theirs and not their enemy's. And what a handy observation it was! _Thank you, future Kakashi,_ he thought to himself, just as he popped out of the ground and…

…decked Han in the chin. _Oy, is this familiar, or what? Ever since fighting Neji, I swear this has happened at LEAST ten times!_

The teen flew up and back several meters, and Naruto quickly got the seal ready and on his fingers. The moment the jinchuuriki landed, he was on the other teen like Hinata on cinnamon buns.

"Five Elements Seal!" he yelled, more for his father's benefit than his; he wanted the old man to know he was still alive, after all.

"AHHHH!"

Naruto had to pity him. He remembered how much it had hurt when Orochimaru had put it on him and felt kinda sorry for the guy.

He shrugged. "Better him than me."

"NARUTO!" Minato called out.

"Yeah, right here!" Naruto replied as he turned around…and got a good look at the new landscape developments. "Holy sh…"

The place that had once had a nice-sized crater now had one big enough to fit a small village, all except for where the barriers had been. The Leaf ninja found it very amusing to see a square-shaped path that looked like an upraised road, since all around it was gone. Han himself was unconscious and probably would be out of it for a few days. With that kind of damage, no way was Naruto feeling guilty now.

Being turned into fried chicken of the extra-crispy variety was not exactly on his list of things to do.

"Naruto!" Minato once again called, but this time standing on the edge of the "road."

"Yeah!" he replied, again.

"Hurry and get up here! Rin needs your help! HURRY!" he repeated.

_Crap! Rin! I forgot!_

Thirty seconds later, he was at her side, and what he saw chilled him to the bone.

If it were just a matter of poisonous chakra, he could probably use a seal and draw it out.

This wasn't that.

She had a hole through her stomach. There was not a doubt in his mind it had been caused by the Gobi's tail, probably in a one-tailed state, as there was no foreign chakra floating about the bloody injury. The hole itself seemed to be a couple inches in diameter and didn't seem to go all the way through.

No doubt a medic-nin could handle the injury—although, it'd be taxing—but he wasn't a medic-nin. All he had were seals…and all she had were five minutes.

It would take at least ten for him to create the proper seal for a wound that severe.

Rin was going to die.

Minato must have seen it in his eyes, because he took the younger blonde by the shoulders. "Naruto, you can do this. I know you can, and even if you feel you can't, you have to at least try!"

The young Jonin was hyperventilating slightly. "I-I can't! The seal—not enough time! I—"

"You have medical training, right?"

"I—"

"Right?"

"Yeah, for seals! Not for—"

"What do you mean, not for this? A Seal Master who can create those seals is extremely rare for a REASON! It takes years to learn all that medical crap, and they have to go through the exact same training as any one of those nins! Not even _I_ have gone through that! But you have and you can save her!"

"I CAN'T! ALRIGHT! My chakra control sucks; medical techniques require it to be nearly perfect! I DON'T HAVE IT! THAT'S WHY I LEARNED THE SEALS IN THE FIRST PLACE!" _Besides, jinchuuriki can't take that risk; what if a pulse of Kyuubi's leaks through? It'd only do more harm than good._

Then, to his shock, Minato grinned. "But that's just it, Naruto. You said so yourself: half the chakra that you used to have is gone."

And that was when he understood. He should have gotten tired a thousand times by now; how many hundreds of clones—all using extremely high techniques—had he been using with absolutely no sense of exhaustion? He would have expected to be able to do less with the Kyuubi gone, but it was almost as if…

Naruto slapped himself on the forehead. **It was almost as if the Kyuubi had been holding him back,** and surprise, surprise, it was. But now, Kyuubi was gone, so his control was better and _there was no more poisonous chakra to interfere!_

But that didn't mean he wasn't nervous. Oh, no. Even as he carefully placed his hands over the wound, they shook. Then, he concentrated, speaking his thoughts out loud.

"Ok, change it to green, change it to green, change it—" His emitted a soft, green light.

"Alright, now, how did Sakura say to do this? 'Locate the vital organs first and heal them.'" The liver was damaged, there was a nick in her small intestines, and the stomach had a rip.

"Stomach first. Gotta get the acid out fast," Naruto said as sweat began pouring down his brow and he brought one hand up, holding what looked like smoking, red liquid—acid mixed with blood. As soon as his hand was away from Rin's body, he let it splash on the ground, where it sizzled.

"Now, what next? Um, 'Use chakra to hold the edges of the wound together. Then, while injecting the healing energy, take the patient's own normal chakra and create a bond—'" he grunted. It was incredibly difficult.

Breath rasping, Naruto continued, "'—c-create a bond with the patient's chakra and yours, and his or her energy will become healing, as well. Direct it to the injury and it will instinctively begin fixing the wound; keep feeding yours until there is a light coating covering the organ. The patient's chakra will continue to draw yours in and use it to heal the body. Now, move on to the next one…'"

The world around him darkened until all the light that remained were the stars overhead, as there was no moon that night. He never noticed it when the rest of the team came upon them and made a fire. He never noticed it when the seal on his shoulder activated, letting loose a steady stream of chakra when he had exhausted his own. He never noticed the girl waking up at the end of the procedure, healed enough to finish by herself. And he never noticed the look of pride he never thought he'd see on his father's face again.

He, Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze, was too freakin' tired.

* * *

(1) See wikipedia's article on this. Can't say how scientifically accurate it is and all, but who cares? Ain't like this is real life, anyway :) .org/wiki/Time_travel

* * *

Ok, I have to say this. This chapter took such a ridiculously long time to write—seriously, I rewrote this sucker at least FOUR TIMES in the hopes of getting it just right. And you know what? I'm still not completely satisfied! (Perfectionism is such a pain sometimes.) But I figured you all had waited long enough to read this, so…here it is!

As for the edits on the other chapters, well…with the recent manga updates, I've had to rethink my story's entire ending. I'm also going to edit some of the older chapters to show that. Unfortunately, I have not yet finished doing so. However, there are a few that I have completed, one of which I am especially proud of: Chapter 6. I would suggest you go back and read that one, and as more get edited and I get them up, I'll let you know by putting the word EDIT in the chapter titles.

By the way, the girl that they got out of the base is my one and only original character. Well, so far, anyway, and she won't have a huge, important role; she's mostly there for Obito's sake, as well as the rest of the team's. She will not, I repeat, will not save the world. We're talking main-character development. But on a side note, I do hope she'll be awesome enough for you to like her J

Also, I hope you like what I did with Rin. For all the crap she went through for her bratty teammate and crush, I figured she deserved a great story, even if it is a little tragic. And she will definitely have a nice role to play in the future J

By the way, how's the fight scene? Hope it's alright and worth the wait!


	14. Hesitation

All that standard disclaimer crap still applies...like a little band-aid...or duct tape...or maybe even a sticker.

Hi, there, all my faithful readers I had a little brain fart on the last chapter (13), and now that I've had a few days to think about my mistake, I should tell you that I have several original characters and not just that one. Don't know why I said she was my only one, but call it me not using my brain for a few minutes (or days, if you prefer). Oh, and I finally managed to get Microsoft Word back on my laptop, which is great and all, except for the fact that it managed to delete several words in the previous chapter due to a Spell Checker error…on my part, once again. Yup, it was all me, not the program. *sigh* That's what happens when one gets very little sleep lol.

On with the story!

* * *

Not fear. Maybe, out there somewhere,  
the possibility of fear; the wall  
that might tumble down, because it's for sure  
that behind it is the sea.  
Not fear. Fear has a countenance;  
It's external, concrete,  
like a rifle, a shot bolt,  
a suffering child,  
like the darkness that's hidden  
in every human mouth.  
Not fear. Maybe only the brand  
of the offspring of fear.

"_Rin, look out!" _

_A scream tore through the air. _

"_NO! RIN!"_

_Blood everywhere, on his hands, his clothes, his face—he thought he even tasted some in his mouth. And it was all hers. He couldn't save her! Wasn't strong enough…too weak, too slow, too stupid!_

"_I can't do this, I can't do this!"_

_He stood up, looked down to see a puddle of blood up to his ankles. All of it was hers. He panicked._

"_Why did you choose me? Why me? I-I'm not strong! I can't—I-I can't protect them all! Why was I chosen? Huh? WHY ME!"_

_More bodies, this time of friends and loved ones that were cut to ribbons. All dying and there was nothing he could do. Piles of bodies all around, too many to count, too many to bury, too fresh to BURN!_

"_WHY!"_

_Silence. Dead silence. Everything, everyone dead and silent. He hated hated hated it! And it was all _his_ fault._

"_Come out! Face me! I want to see you, to look into your eyes! I want you to FACE ME! WHO ARE YOU?"_

_So many broken people. All broken, tiny pieces of glass. He stepped on one. Cut his foot. More blood dripped onto the ground and seemed to go on forever…it never stopped!_

"_No…NO!"_

Naruto shot up, panting and gasping as his own sweat soaked clean through his shirt, pants, and even the small sleeping bag he laid in between. Why the heck did his nightmares always have to be so horrible? It was hot—_too_ hot, and he desperately kicked at the covers as he scrambled out to sit on them and hopefully cool off. Then, he took a look around.

The teen had no clue where he was, except that the team had apparently taken his unconscious self and high-tailed it the heck away from the "Base from Hell" and ended up in some sort of dense forest at night. He could just see the distant stars as they slowly spun overhead. The tiny light sources calmed his heart enough so that it no longer felt as though it wanted to leap from his chest.

But his mind was still in turmoil and it didn't stop him from remembering what had almost happened on this mission because of him. Because of his carelessness. He knew the future! What had possessed him to be so arrogant as to think nothing could possibly go wrong—heck, that things couldn't change, or not be what he expected?

The entire team could've been killed right there, and then what? What would happen to the future—to his friends, family, and Konoha itself? Without the Yellow Flash, even if they won the war, they'd still have to contend with the Kyuubi attack, and who would seal it then? Jiraiya would be out of the question; perhaps the Third could, but who would take over the mantle of Hokage then? _Danzo?_ Oh, yeah, that'd work really well. Madara would surely have destroyed the village and taken over the world. And the best part? HE COULD HAVE BEEN RESPONSIBLE FOR ENDING HIS OWN EXISTENCE! The prophecy regarding his life came to his mind; he had the ability to either save or destroy the world, and he could very well have sealed its fate with his own stupidity.

_What was I thinking? I didn't even check the place out before I decided to blow it to smithereens! What kind of incompetent Jonin am I! _Naruto's hands began trembling, unknown to him. _Rin could've died, my FATHER could've died, heck, that girl could've died! All because of me! I…I don't know if I can do this, Ayu. I thought that maybe I could make things better, but it looks like I'm only making things worse. It was so close this time! What about next time? Now, I don't know what to do. I'll get no break to think about it, either; as soon as we get back, we'll be going up against Orochimaru—one of the Sannin, for crying out loud! A Kage-level ninja who, in my time, had the ability to raise the dead as mindless drones and actually managed to kill "The Professor," his teacher and the Hokage! What in the world was I thinking…?_

He put his head in his still-trembling hands as he sat on top of the sleeping bag. It was no wonder he had trouble sleeping and would much rather be training at night. The nightmares were getting to be a serious pain; he was starting to dread closing his eyes. Tonight, it was about Rin and his foolish screw-up. Tomorrow, it could very well be of Pain once again destroying Konoha, only with him failing to save his beloved home. Most nights, though, he remembered those he had lost. Especially…

"You ok, kid?" Jiraiya interrupted the young teen's inner musings.

Naruto jerked his head up in surprise. For the first time since his rude awakening, he noticed that the Super Pervert was sitting on a tree branch just a few feet away, watching him in a somewhat creepy manner, as though he were a fascinating new species of bug the older man was trying to catalogue.

Seriously, what did he want? There was no real harm in finding out, Naruto supposed. Besides, everyone else seemed to still be asleep, so it probably wouldn't hurt to talk quietly for awhile.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" he answered with a confused expression on his face and a slight defiance in his heart. Just because he'd talk didn't mean he'd cooperate. Inoichi never could seem to get that straight in their little sessions. Naruto chuckled in his head. The Interrogation Head was something else—brilliant and clearly in his element when at his job, but it would do little good against someone like himself. _Who do ya think trained me to resist torture, after all? Ino was freakin' genius at giving people the ol' run-around. Yeah, ain't gonna happen, like, ever._

The man's eyes went wide. "Uh, gee, I don't know. Maybe because you woke up all panicky and soaked to the bone in your own sweat? You do realize that this is, like, the tenth nightmare you've had since you got your memories back, don't you?"

Nah, he'd never noticed, he thought to himself with dark humor; there was truly nothing funny about the things that haunted his memories. "Well, it's not like I keep track of 'em, but sure. It's a lot. What's your point?" In reality, the boy was beginning to worry. There was a reason for that; missions seemed to give him a sense of purpose—enough for him to fight against the horrific scenes his mind liked to cook up. But it wasn't working this time, and Naruto had no idea why. Insomniacs needed every minute of sleep they could get, and preferably un-medicated. After all, it was a well-known fact that the human body could only survive for so long without it.

"Mind telling me why?" A white eyebrow lifted in…curiosity? Worry?

He couldn't have that. Curiosity always got him in trouble…especially when it was someone else's, so his reply was more than a little snippy. "Yes, I do, so stop asking."

There was silence for a brief moment—in which Naruto sighed in relief instead of exasperation or irritation for once—before the peace was suddenly broken by the older man's equally snippy response.

"Would it kill you to trust your own teammates, for once—something that you're supposedly such a big advocate of?"

It only took a moment for those words to send a cold, trembling wave of fear through the blonde. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to someone. It was that he couldn't. He wouldn't have been far off the mark in saying he would never be able to be completely open again—never fully be able to trust those around him for the simple fact that they couldn't **know** or things might change for the worse. Just the thought made his heart clench painfully, because he'd also never be free of the slight suspicion of those he loved and only wished to protect for the rest of his life…which wasn't likely to be very long.

_Please don't let this be happening. Please, please, please! I can't—I can't deal with this right now!_ But he couldn't stop the bitter laugh that quietly made its way out his mouth. "Kill me? That's the least of my concerns."

Jiraiya sniffed and looked away as his voice took on a somewhat strained tone. "Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder—is that what this is? You saw everyone die in front of you and suddenly decided that it was because you had opened up to people?"

"No," he whispered so quietly that air hardly left his lungs. "It's because I might fail, and if that happens..." The Jonin's voice slightly broke at the end as he remembered the days those he cared for had fallen and never risen again. Haku, the first agonizing blow to his heart…Old Man Sarutobi, the only grandfather he'd ever known and the first one to earn his undying respect…Jiraiya, his godfather…Nagato, even though he'd only been a friend for a few moments…Sasuke, the one he'd never been able to truly reach…and…_her_…

Contrary to popular belief, Naruto had discovered the hard way that time did not always heal all wounds; some simply rotted from the inside out.

Or was _that_ Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in and of itself?

Jiraiya had nothing to say to that for one more brief, glorious moment. Just one more slight reprieve before the attack continued. "Why did you become an assassin?"

_What the…? Where the crap did that question come from? Still, it ain't one I'm comfortable with him asking._ "That's none of your business."

"Humph," the Sage said, clearly not quite willing to back down. "It's pretty obvious that you don't like killing people, and yet you're supposedly one of the greatest killers in the world today? Gimme a break. You weren't born that way; you were **made** that way, and I want know why." He shifted off his perch on the tree branch to leap down and sit beside the blonde, who wasn't at all happy about this impromptu interrogation.

In fact, Naruto was seething, but he still had the presence of mind to speak quietly and softly so as not to wake the others. "I believe I mentioned this before, but just in case you forgot…stop asking, because it's none of your business," he hissed.

Jiraiya just snorted. "Kid, you don't scare me. Yeah, sure, you could probably crush me into a billion microscopic pieces, but you won't do it."

"Oh? You sure seem confident." The pervert was right, but that didn't mean his time-traveling student didn't **want** to blow him into atom-sized chunks. He did have a temper, after all.

"You bet I am. If you were going to do something, you would've done it back in Iwa where the people would probably build monuments to you for killing us all off, but you didn't. Instead, so far on this mission, you have managed to get Tsunade to return to the village—Sensei and I thought she'd never come back this time!—started teaching Obito the finer arts of chakra manipulation (both shape and nature, I might add) AND your wonderful Sexy Jutsu…although, he sure is taking a long time to get it…" Jiraiya paused for just a second, eyes squinting in curiosity, before continuing, "you've also gotten Rin to grow a bit of a backbone and Kakashi a bit of a heart…maybe…helped get us through the security back there with that same wonderful jutsu (I've got a few questions I want to ask you about that, by the way), revealed that two of my students in Ame are still living and that there is a traitor back in Konoha, and—"

"—and not one bit of it makes any real difference."

"…what?"

"It just…doesn't matter. I can't pull this off on my own. I-I just can't do it. What was I thinking? Maybe I just should've stayed dead. Now, I don't know what'll happen to them… Madara is still gonna start killing the bloodlines, then he's gonna come after the village-"

It was the Sage's turn to hiss now. "_What?_ What the heck do you mean by 'killing the bloodlines?' You know a lot more details about his plans than you should—than _anyone_ should. What exactly happened to you?"

"Man, Ayu seriously wasn't kidding; I really DO have a mouth," he muttered to himself, quietly enough so that all Jiraiya would have heard would be indistinguishable hums.

"What? What did you say?"

This time, instead of irritable, the boy was saddened. "Trust me, you don't want to know. Where I come from, a lot of terrible things happened. Sure, it turned out mostly ok at the end, but the sacrifice to get there-! I-I don't…" he paused for a moment to swallow before continuing in a somewhat panicked and hysterical voice, "I don't want you and the others to have to go through the same things that _we_ did, and I know that you will if I can't do something! I-I-I have to keep everyone safe! I have to! It's the only chance we've got and I won't let their sacrifices be in vain! I won't—"

He was interrupted by an arm around his shoulders and Naruto stiffened. He'd done it again; he'd gone and opened his mouth once again. Darn it, this staying quiet thing was hard on him! Interrogation he could handle; sheer loneliness, on the other hand… Maybe he should consider Ayu's advice, after all; he really did need someone to talk to, and not having that was driving him up the wall. After hanging around with Jiraiya for those two years, he'd figured out that what he needed—what he'd ALWAYS needed—was a father.

Minato was that genetically, but while he loved his dad and always would, he hardly knew him and was uncomfortable around the infamous and genius Jonin half the time. He had to be ridiculously careful around his old man as it was with his secrets! Adding to that would be idiotic.

No, Minato was out of the question.

But Jiraiya was a different story; he'd practically raised Naruto through the two most hormone-driven teenage years of his life, and the boy/man was tempted, oh so tempted, to tell him. The perv had always been easy to talk to… However, he could already imagine the conversation and its results:

"_Hey, Jiraiya! Guess what! I'm from the future! That's how I know all this stuff, like when you're going to die, when Sarutobi finally kicks the bucket, and—hey!—even that thing with your teammate came straight from my mouth! Isn't that exciting? Oh, and Minato's my dad and you're my godfather! Great, huh!"_

Then, when he'd finish, the older man would, of course, either: attack him and interrogate him if he'd finally crossed that fine line between trusting the youth and wanting to dissect him for info; call him crazy and get him one of those comfy, white jackets he'd heard so much about in his ADHD-fueled youth; or believe him and go nuts trying to change events he had no business touching because the results would be devastating. (Come to think of it, even Naruto wasn't sure he himself should be messing with certain things, but there wasn't much choice anymore.)

So, it was with a bitter and almost pathetic realization that, no matter how desperately he needed the advice and guidance—heck, even the companionship—he couldn't risk having it. No, the young Jonin would not be telling the older Sannin about the other time line. He was alone, and he hated it.

But still, the Toad Sage's arm around his shoulder was rather comforting.

Shaking ever so slightly, Naruto's soft voice seemed to echo around them in whichever forest they were. "He's so incredibly dangerous. You-you have no idea. Madara…I trained with clones constantly for so long, I've got a thousand or more techniques I could use, and I know all of his plans and a fair number of his techniques—including how to beat them—and you know what?"

Jiriaya's eyes never left the blonde's face as he continued. "Right now, I'm still no match for him."

As he took in his one-time sensei's shocked face, Naruto explained, "He can summon the bijuu, Jiraiya; he can control the Nine-Tails. No matter how strong I am right now, I simply can't face both him and that beast and hope to come out on top. If I could…he'd already be dead," he finished in a dark, dark tone.

"Holy…whoa, kid…you really should've told us this before."

"Why? What would it help? Hmm? We're at least equal in power, so if I don't stand a chance—"

"That's not what I meant, Naruto."

"Then what did you mean?"

But the older man simply turned his head away and refused to meet his eyes, choosing instead to only reply with some advice to go see the Hokage when they returned to Konoha.

"Why? What does the Hokage have to do with this? Does he know something that could help?"

"Just ask him. Trust me on this."

"…alright, if you say so." Although, he seriously doubted the Old Man knew anything he himself was unaware of with the time travel and all.

"You getting sleepy again yet?" Jiraiya suddenly changed the subject.

Naruto sighed. He wished. _Tired_ and _sleepy_ were not the same things.

"I'll take that as a no."

"Good guess." It'd be awhile longer yet.

"Yeah, chakra exhaustion does that to you sometimes."

"Really? I didn't know that."

"…yes...haven't you ever had it before?"

"Um, maybe once. I think." Or was it twice? He'd always recovered so fast that had hardly ever made any kind of impact on him, so it wasn't like he'd bothered to notice or keep count.

Jiraiya just stared at him again before closing his eyes and looking away. "You've got to be kidding me. Some people have all the luck." The older man sighed. "Alright, then, since you're awake, you can answer a few more questions, if you don't mind."

Naruto went through his entire list of expletives in his head as he growled out loud that Jiraiya was a major pain in the neck. He'd have to play with the man like he did with Inoichi in one of his little interrogation sessions—not something he looked forward to doing to his godfather, but the older ninja was leaving him with little choice.

The Sage chuckled. "Yeah, I've been told that once or twice, albeit with slightly different wording. Now," he suddenly became serious, "I'm not going to ask you too much, since Sarutobi-sensei specifically ordered us to treat you with some respect, but I do expect you to answer some basic questions, got it?"

"I'll answer whatever I darn well please, and if I don't feel like it, I expect you to back off," Naruto threw back with a blue-eyed glare that he could tell made a slight shiver take over the member of the Legendary Sannin.

"Fine, runt. Alright, first question: What is your date of birth?"

"October 10."

"Year?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure. Next question." Actually, that answer was only partially honest, but surely what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him, right?

"What the-? How can you not be sure?"

"A lot of things got messed up when I…" Naruto drifted off, not seeing a need to explain further.

"Your memory's still wacked?"

_Wacked? Did he actually say that?_ "No, my memory's just as good as it has always been. It's…because of something else, and I don't intend to you what, so move on."

"Alright, then. Here's something I've wanted to know for quite some time. Who taught you sealing?"

It was all Naruto could do to keep a perfectly straight face. _Wouldn't you like to know. _ "Sensei number…huh. You know, I don't actually remember which number." _Hmmm…the Sandaime had taught him a few things—did he count as a sensei? Iruka was his first official one, and Mizuki, even with as horrible as he was had technically been one. That list also includes Kakashi, Jiraiya, Yamato/Tenzou, Asuma, the toads, Killer Bee…yeah, there were a lot. Hmmm…how shall I put this?_ "One of the perverted ones started me off, and then I just sorta taught myself from there."

"Seriously? Self-taught?"

"Yeah, somewhat. Why? Is something wrong with that?"

With his eyes wide, the self-proclaimed super-pervert simply stuttered that no, there was nothing wrong with it. Naruto got the impression he was being a bit sarcastic. "Geez, kid, with your chakra and sealing abilities, I'd almost think you were related to—" but he broke himself off quickly and refused to elaborate.

Darn it. The old man had just made him curious and then left him hanging. How cruel.

"Well, is that all you wanted to know? Or do you have other questions you want to irritate me with?"

"Just one," he drawled as he gazed intently at his target. "Which demon did you hold?"

The teen couldn't help it; his jaw practically dropped to the ground for a brief moment as a burst of panic set in. How exactly was he supposed to get out of this one?

"Yeah, that's what Minato and I thought." Jiraiya nodded and sighed, not meeting his sort-of protégé in the eyes.

"W-w-what?"

"You take this whole madman-hunting-the-jinchuuriki thing _way_ too personally, and some of the very things you've described, well, let's just say it fits with certain profiles and leave it at that. So we've established you were once a jinchuuriki. Now, I'd like to know for what bijuu."

Naruto gulped. He was caught. Well, halfway, at least. It wasn't such a big deal, the new Jonin supposed; them knowing of his former container status wasn't terribly harmful…as long as they didn't know which one. "Sorry, but that is something I REALLY can't tell you."

Smiling and stretching slightly, the older ninja replied, "Fair enough. I already know for sure that it's not Gobi, but I just needed to confirm that you were no longer one, anyway. Now that that's taken care of, I can go to sleep." Then, he abruptly stood, yawned, walked over to an empty sleeping bag, laid down, and was softly snoring in moments.

"Wait a minute…" the now-alone blonde muttered to himself. "Who's supposed to be on watch, then?"

No one answered.

_Great._

He took a look at the other sleeping bags in hopes that one person was awake and simply being a pain. Seriously, he'd just woken up from who knew how many days of rest! Surely, his father or one of the Chuunin was up.

Minato's spiky, blonde hair peeked out of a bag two feet away. No movement.

Kakashi's almost glow-in-the-dark grey was just a few feet beyond that, and the kid shifted restlessly in his sleep, but he was definitely out of it.

Rin…she was probably still a little injured or at least sore, so even if it were her turn, he wouldn't ask. His control had just _barely_ been good enough for the medical techniques; she'd probably get a big, ugly scar from it. Poor girl, she'd technically been his first test subject. Yikes.

Obito was sprawled in some random position on top of his sleeping bag, snoring away. He looked like someone had just thrown him there. Yup, the Uchiha was definitely asleep, as well.

The girl and the woman he'd pulled from the base were both lying on a blanket, possibly awake, but they were technically prisoners and not exactly fit to watch camp. Their chakra was probably sealed, besides.

Han was tied to a tree and gagged. Enough said.

A few choice words left the 13-year-old's mouth. There was no one else. Jiraiya was sooo getting pranked.

Then, Minato began chuckling. "I'll watch the camp, Naruto."

"Geez!" he yelped (quietly, of course). "You almost literally scared the crap out of me!"

His father sheepishly rubbed the back of his head as he sat up and gave him a halfhearted "sorry 'bout that."

"Uh-huh. Yeah, sure."

"I was just hoping you and Jiraiya-sensei would talk a little bit more, that's all."

"You were listening in?"

"Well, yeah. I hardly know anything about you. You're so secretive all the time, and it'd be nice to have some idea what's going on in that head of yours."

"Didn't I already tell you enough?"

Minato sniffed. "The things you told us were so vague half the time that we have no idea how honest you're being. I know you're not out to betray us or the village, but that doesn't mean you won't make a huge mistake somewhere along the way. It doesn't mean that you won't accidentally cause harm to Konoha or your teammates. That's why both Sensei and I feel the need to push you to open up a little bit more. Ok?"

The shorter blonde sighed. "Look, as much as I sometimes want to tell you everything, I can't. There's just too much at stake. But I will tell you this…in about two years, maybe a little more, I'll be able to tell you what you want to know…if I'm still alive."

He didn't even have to see his father's eyes to know that they were glowing in anger. "You are not going to self-destruct on me over some misguided notion that you're some savior of the world. I refuse to lose the only family I've got in this world. If that means I have to drug and imprison you to keep you safe—"

"You won't be doing anything of the sort, _Dad_," he snarled with his own brand of irritation.

"'Dad'?"

Naruto knew his face probably paled, but in the dim light, he doubted his father really noticed. That was good. It meant he still had a chance to salvage this Night from Hell. "That's how you're acting—like a paranoid parent, and it's getting on my nerves. I've been taking care of myself since I was old enough to walk. I've been doing just fine on my own and I don't need your supervision or permission to do what I know I have to."

The Yellow Flash tensed and looked like he was going to say something, but Naruto interrupted before he could. "Look, can we not talk about this now? It's kinda late at night in…only God knows where, we have a captured jinchuuriki chained up to a tree, two possible opponents," he pointed, "in that direction, and no idea whether or not there are any enemies nearby. So, seriously, can we do this later?"

Minato's disgusted sigh was the only sound he got in return, and silence returned to the forest once more.

All in all, it was really surprising that no one had woken up.

...

The next morning was peaceful, thankfully, and Naruto was finally able to get a good idea on where they were located. The trees…there was only one place in all the Elemental Countries they grew: Grass.

"Hey, we're in Kuso?" he asked over breakfast on his sleeping bag, which was little more than a special Akimichi nutrition bar (Minato absolutely refused the standard and much cheaper variation), that tasted something like apple pie. _Yummy. Not quite ramen, but then, nothing is._

Everyone else was packing their bags and blankets up, and all stopped in their tracks and stared at him.

"What?" He pulled his jacket around him as a slight chill went down his spine.

"Kusa, Naruto. Kus_a_," Rin emphasized with a very cold glare. She really hated cussing.

But Obito was having a hard time reigning in his laughter and had to add his own two cents in. "Are you sure, Rin? I mean, it is often—hahahaha!—hidden in the grass!"

Many pairs of eyes rolled at that one, but Naruto secretly thought that the Chuunin had made a very valid point, even if it was completely wrong and even a little gross. He said nothing out loud, though, and just shook his head as he finished his third nutrition bar and attempted to stand.

"Whoa…" he muttered as the world tilted beneath him. _Didn't know they had earthquakes here…_

Obito was at his side in a split second to catch him. "Naruto, are you ok?" he asked, worried.

For some odd reason, the blonde was having a hard time speaking clearly. "Yay, yay, 'm 'k."

The Uchiha blinked. "Uh, I kinda doubt that. You sound like you're drunk. Here, let me put you back down."

"No, da'n it…don' feel 'leepy…" the Jonin managed to stumble his way through before mercifully losing consciousness.

Chakra exhaustion, he realized, was quite a pain, and he wondered just how long he'd been out of it if they were already all the way in Kuso, er, Kusa.

* * *

Jiraiya couldn't help but chuckle as he watched the pair. "Man, he really wasn't kidding!"

"Wasn't kidding about what?" Minato suddenly popped up right behind his teacher and asked.

"GEEZ!" he jumped. "DON'T DO THAT!"

But the blonde man just laughed. "You should mind your surroundings better, eh?"

The Sage grumbled at having one of his older phrases thrown back in his face. _No respect! I swear!_

"Now, what'd my nephew do this time?"

Hmm? Oh, right! He'd been asked a question. "Oh. Uh, he just said that he'd only experienced chakra exhaustion once in his entire life. He kinda proved it by falling on his butt, that's for sure."

"Right, right! You two talked about that last night. I remember now."

"…you were listening in the whole time, huh." It was a statement, not a question.

"Well, yeah. I thought you knew."

"I knew you were watching, sure, but I also thought that those seals would keep you from listening," he said as he gestured towards the small pieces of paper carefully surrounding the boy's area. His eyes did a double take.

There was one that had been moved suspiciously closely to where Minato had slept.

Ah. Mystery solved. "Jerk," Jiraiya threw at his student.

"Hey! That's not fair. I was worried about him…"

The elder man sighed. "Yeah, and I can see why. I wasn't sure I believed you at first when you told me what you suspected his former home had done to him, but you convinced me, and seeing the look in his eyes when I asked—! I've seen broken people before, Minato; you and I both have, but…"

"Not like this," Minato finished quietly. "I could happily draw and quarter the man who did that to him, who turned him into a—"

"Hey, Minato-sensei!" Obito suddenly interrupted, much to the secret relief of the Sannin.

"Yo." His student, however, did not appear to feel the same.

"What do we do about the prisoners? I was packing Naruto's stuff up when Jito-san asked. She said something about not wanting to be carried by a pervert this time, whatever that means, and Emi, well, she's sorta just standing around staring at the trees. It's just a lil' bit disturbing."

Jito, the woman researcher whom Naruto had dragged along (rather literally, in fact) had turned out to be quite the interesting character. She wasn't exactly pretty, although she also wasn't horribly disfigured, either. In fact, her appearance was very plain and ordinary—nose maybe just a little too big for her face, lips a tad bit too thin, and a few freckles and pimples here and there—except for her hair, a very light blue, and her eyes, which were a soft, dove grey. They were the only things that stood out about her, except for her legs.

Why all women scientists seemed to have nice legs, he hadn't a clue, but Jito had apparently noticed that he found it rather difficult to stop staring at them. He still had research to conduct, after all. Not that he was attracted to her, of course; he simply wanted to look, not touch. Mostly. _Ahem._

But as for someone else carrying her, well, that wasn't likely to happen. Minato already had his hands full with Rin and Naruto (so to speak; the man used Shadow Clones, for the most part) and would probably blush so hard that every enemy within a 100-mile radius would see the beacon and attack.

And that was a lot of enemies. Iwa had not been pleased with their actions.

After Minato had run after Naruto to "rescue" him from the jinchuuriki, Obito had noticed Rin missing, setting off a mild panic. However, before they could organize themselves to go and look for her, a group of enemy ninjas had attacked—five of them, all Jonin level. Even he, the Great Toad Sage, was pushed to his limits with trying to watch his own back as well as the two Chuunin and one strange, blank child.

Emi, the blue-haired woman had informed him, was her name, and what she had done had shocked and frozen him to the core.

Obito and Kakashi had been fighting like crazy against two Jonin all on their own, and not doing too badly, either. The Uchiha had later proudly informed him that he'd activated his Sharingan after seeing an enemy lunging for a caught-off-guard Kakashi and Replacing himself with his teammate. The boy had unflinchingly placed his comrade's life above his own, and the grey-haired preteen had been silent ever since.

Jiraiya had turned his head to see how they were faring only to witness the Replacement in growing horror. Not realizing what he was saying and forgetting Rin wasn't there, he'd turned to the girl who hadn't moved a muscle and screamed, "Help him!"

And just like that, it was as though a dozen flashes of lightning fell from her fingertips and pierced the Iwa ninja's various organs including his brain and heart, killing him instantly. But only half of those little bolts of lightning went towards that Jonin; the other half went straight for the other one still fighting a desperate Kakashi. Jiraiya had to wonder just what the heck those people at the base had done to this child. A "weapon," she'd been called, and that's exactly what she acted like. Emi had followed his commands so perfectly that the man felt almost as if he'd been given a kunai launcher and been told to, "just point and shoot and all your targets will go down." It was frightening to think she barely seemed human.

The Sage himself had finally killed all of his opponents, only to see that the last one had merely been an Earth Clone with the original probably watching and planning to report on everything he'd seen and heard.

Which meant they needed to be leaving the country FAST. It was the very reason they'd been so careful to use disguises the whole way to Iwa. Those brats had spies practically everywhere. Well, not as likely to be in Fire Country, of course, and a good number of them were rather incompetent anyway, but they'd still made sure not to draw too much attention to themselves by even dressing as civilians.

Better safe than sorry, even if it was a wasted effort.

And now that they had been found out (and had Iwa on their tail for the past two days that Naruto had been out of it), there was no point in pretending. Jiraiya was sure that if it hadn't been for Orochimaru's distraction, they would've had the whole freakin' army after them. As it was, thanks to Obito's Sharingan, Minato's Hiraishin, and a few specially placed seals, they'd managed to stay a few steps ahead of them. And all that was with carrying a subdued and now somewhat insane jinchuuriki, one injured Chuunin—although she was mostly healed, some of the muscles would take a few more days to completely mend the holes—and one knocked out Jonin, and an almost glow-in-the-dark scientist that Naruto had brought along just for the heck of it.

Or had he brought her for _another_ purpose? Jiraiya's perverted chuckle made Obito frown.

"Hey, Old Dude! What are ya laughing about?"

Oh. Right. There were children present. He'd continue that line of thought later. "Ahem. Sorry about that," he told the confused Chuunin without bothering to explain what had been going through his head. "Anyway, Jito-san said she didn't want me to carry her anymore, correct?"

Obito nodded.

"Well, I'm afraid that's probably not going to happen. Your sensei's already got his hands full with mini-blonde and your teammate, and since he won't trust them with me, we're not about to switch. You're not tall enough and she'd simply drag the ground, quite frankly, and the same is true with Kakashi. So, that leaves yours truly. If it makes her feel more comfortable, I can have my clone carry her, instead, but that's the best deal she's getting with this."

The boy looked very unhappy and uncomfortable with this news. "Crap. She's gonna get ticked; I just know it…" he muttered to himself as he walked away to give the woman the unfortunate news.

The self-proclaimed skirt-chaser felt absolutely no pity for the kid. Why should he? All great men should know how to handle ladies, and this was a perfect opportunity for him to learn! And if he got injured, they had an excellent medic (NOT Naruto; the kid's chakra control was so lousy that he'd easily used three times more than was necessary) who was recovering quickly, according to her analysis. Heck, if necessary, their young Jonin could wake his butt up and use his seals to take care of the scrapes and bruises.

No harm done.

Ah, geez, who was he kidding? The little runt was going to get creamed and he was looking forward to seeing it. He figured he could use their fight scene as a little extra research; what man didn't like a little love spat that ended with—

"You're not being perverted again, are you, Sensei?"

Jiraiya turned toward his favorite student and just stared. Minato's eyes were practically begging him to deny it, to say that, for once, his mind wasn't filled with dirty and degrading thoughts, but… "Of course I am. What the heck did you expect from me?" Then, he dropped down to his small pack and began searching through a few of his more specialized seals. He might need them, especially in what was still hostile territory.

The man sighed. "Darn it…" he muttered, all hope drained from his voice. "Anyway, while you and Obito were chatting, I went and checked on a few things. Naruto's all packed and ready to go; I'll have a Shadow Clone carry him till he wakes back up and is able to move around again. Rin's actually doing alright and said that she'll only need to be carried for one more day."

"That's good. 'Bout what I expected for the blonde, but I'm surprised the girl's almost good to go like that." _Hmm, a blood tag. It's about the only medical seal I can do, since I don't have all the training Naruto does. I should probably look into learning a bit more, though, now that I've seen the value of that knowledge in action. This, at least, will prevent a person from dying of blood loss for twenty-four hours._

"Yeah, so was she. Apparently, Naruto left a ton of extra chakra in her system—not exactly a shock with his lousy control—and it just keeps healing. Rin told me she's never seen anything like it and says it's probably like a bloodline, except that if it really were, it should affect Naruto himself. Weird."

That made the Sage pause in his searching and mental ramblings. He knew about almost every single bloodline in the world, thanks to Orochimaru and his obsession for them as well as his own research, and as far as he knew, nothing like that existed in the world.

Bloodlines were a form of microevolution—small changes within a species that could do a variety of things from making the person darker-skinned (which he wished he'd been born with, as it would have saved him many embarrassing sunburns, darn it!), less susceptible to diseases, slightly faster or stronger than average, or any number of other things. The difference between those minute changes and developing bloodlines was that one was chakra-based.

Every now and then, two parents with different elemental affinities would have children with the ability to use both at the same time. When the child got old enough to have his or her own family, the traits had a 50% chance of being passed on. It was extremely rare, and many people simply believed it to be a myth, instead choosing to think it was a type of horrid deformity or a miracle given to them by some sort of deity.

Well, miracle or not, that's how the elemental types had come about. And if a god was involved, fine. It's not like he or anyone else could tell him, her, it, or them, "No, you can't do that," after all. Even if a certain Mizukage was rumored to be trying his darndest, poor Rin—she still didn't know.

No, elemental bloodlines weren't really much of a mystery.

Dojutsu, such as Obito's Sharingan, however, were another story. The combination of opposing or differing elements made sense, but how the heck was one supposed to explain freaky-looking eyes randomly popping up? The fact that they appeared in ONLY two families in the entire world said enough to let Jiraiya know there was something special about them, something…different.

Besides the fact that most of their wielders were nothing more than arrogant little jerks, that is, Obito being one of the few exceptions.

The entire Uchiha clan was obsessed with their eyes to the point that they even bred their lower-class members in an effort to get faster-activating bloodlines. Those who were considered fast enough were given the dubious award of marrying the higher-class members, a prime example being the current clan head's wife. Her Sharingan having activated at age nine—the youngest of any female in Uchiha history—she had immediately been betrothed to the future leader, Fugaku. To be fair, Mikoto was thrilled with the prospects, but even if she hadn't been, it would have made no difference.

It was always the clan, the clan, the clan.

And Obito had foolishly been kicked from it. Boy, was Fugaku going to be pissed when he learned that the kid he'd kicked out six months ago had just activated his bloodline. It was supposedly because the boy was weak, but Jiraiya had always had his questions regarding that. Uchiha normally developed their Sharingan by the time they reached a certain age, and those who didn't had a very slim chance of ever getting it and had an even slimmer chance of ever passing it on. That could account for the very wrong opinion being that he had no physical strength worth speaking of. It didn't, however, account for the fact that at least a third of all Uchiha were the same way and were simply used as a source of slaves or manual labor. They were the lowest of the low and had no hope of ever climbing out of their stations, not that most of them really cared with how brainwashed they typically were.

But none of them were kicked out. That, in and of itself, was extremely rare, and the Sage seriously doubted it had anything to do with the Chuunin's abilities whatsoever. No, this was something else, something more sinister.

Was it because Obito was different in both mannerisms and thinking that he'd been removed—as something of a risk to established order? The kid wasn't one to be easily manipulated. No, he was the one to do the manipulating himself! Brainwashing him would've been an exercise in frustration at best and a disaster in any foreseeable future.

Exile had the very convenient result of solving all the problems he would've certainly caused the clan leaders.

And now that he had the Sharingan? He'd very likely be targeted for assassination. The clan had, over the years, become corrupt. Oh, they were loyal to the village, certainly, but they were loyal to themselves and their way of life, first and foremost, much like the Hyuuga. Most of them were genuinely good, caring, and hardworking people when taken as individuals. But get them in a group and they'd tear themselves apart. Hyuuga had solved the problem with a seal; Uchiha used brainwashing. Weren't they basically the same?

It made the Hermit glad that the boy's former family wasn't aware of one more little secret that only Minato and the Pervert himself knew. Obito had _two_ bloodlines. _Ha! Eat that, you inbred sticks-in-the-mud!_ In fact, the mischievous youth was where a good deal of his own personal research regarding inherited traits had come from.

Three generations of Uchiha on his father's side had had fire as their main element and earth as their secondary. Coincidentally, the same was true of his mother's side, except hers had had earth as the main. It didn't come as too much of a surprise, actually, since most of the clan had either fire, earth, or lightning, but what _did_ come as a shock was the fact that Obito—out of all the children born in the group's history—had been the one-in-a-million to get Lava.

Like he'd said, it took awhile for those things to stabilize enough to show up. If the current Clan Head found out that he'd not only removed a viable wielder (and therefore passer-on) of the Sharingan but also a first-generation Lava elemental, it was highly likely that the assassination attempts would double. Thankfully, not even Obito knew about his ability just yet, so they were at least somewhat safer. Minato had already made arrangements for the boy to stay with him and his nephew, just in case.

In the meantime, perhaps Jiraiya could get a little more REAL research in and take a look at the Chuunin's eyes. Maybe he could finally figure out what the heck caused the dojutsu and then work on seeing what Naruto had.

According to what he'd seen, there was no way an ability like the Jonin's should exist. The reason? Bloodlines were meant to benefit the _user_, not a random person nearby. If the kid had a healing ability, then why didn't it heal _him_? Naruto had gotten injured in practice several times, and never once had it started knitting up the small gashes in his body. What was up with that? As far as the Perv was aware, there was nothing in the world like it.

"That's…not possible," he muttered aloud after taking a few minutes to think over the available facts.

"Yeah, I know," replied Minato, sounding equally confused. "It's like the darn thing's backwards or something, or maybe even messed up. Foreign chakra left in injuries like that isn't supposed to keep healing after the original owner's no longer controlling it. It should just add itself to her own reserves or dissipate altogether, but it doesn't. It's almost like—"

"It either has a mind of its own or follows its master's will, even when he's unconscious," Jiraiya whispered, shocked.

Holy friggin' crap. Well, that might change things. Might even explain a few…

His student jerked his head to meet the older man's eyes. "You think that's what it is?"

The Sage shrugged. "Beats the heck out of me, but if it is, that is one heck of a powerful ability and we should probably get it tested—and fast."

"Yeah, and keep it away from The Mummy, too. Who knows what that walking parasite would try to do to my nephew?"

He nodded. It was a good idea. "We can at least ask him whenever he wakes up."

At that, the blonde chuckled. "Sure, if he doesn't pass out first."

"Hahaha! Yeah, the little brat was stumbling around like a drunk! It was hilarious! Makes me think we should pass him some sake sometime just to see what his reaction will be." He made sure to mutter the last part very, very quietly so that the boy's uncle didn't hear him. It wouldn't do to get killed before he finished his latest masterpiece, after all. Nor before he confessed to his one true love…again. Speaking of which… "Hey, Minato, you ever going to ask Kushina out on a date?"

The man sputtered out some half-formed excuse and denial as Jiraiya closed his pack and told him to shut up and make some clones so they could get moving. He could amuse himself by torturing the young man later. Right now, they were still a day's run from the border and had patrols to avoid.

Hence, why he'd pulled quite a few of his newest creation out—tags that applied his invisibility jutsu to an object or person of his choosing, an idea he'd gotten from their newest little Jonin. They only worked for about six hours each, but it would be enough for now. Besides, their chakra would still be sensed the moment they used it, so all the small strips of paper would really do would be to camouflage them a little better.

Still, it had kept them from being discovered numerous times already. But now would be a good time to get the heck out of there. Minato, having used Naruto's example, had created half a dozen Shadow Clones and, using Sexy Jutsu (the most brilliant invention in the modern age, in Jiraiya's opinion), had transformed them into various woodland animals to spy on the enemy. They were good for another hour, which would make this the perfect time to get a move on.

So, after a few more minutes of creating his own clones and tying their prisoners to them, they were ready to go.

Now, if only there was a hot springs nearby.

* * *

It's a narrow, interminable street  
with all the windows darkened,  
a thread spun out from a sticky hand,  
friendly, yes, not a friend.  
It's a nightmare  
of polite ritual wearing a frightwig.  
Not fear. Fear is a door slammed in your face.  
I'm speaking here of a labyrinth  
of doors already closed, with assumed  
reasons for being, or not being,  
for categorizing bad luck  
or good, bread, or an expression

— tenderness and panic and frigidity - for the children  
growing up. And the silence.  
And the cities, sparkling, empty.  
and the mediocrity, like a hot  
lava, spewed out over  
the grain, and the voice, and the idea.

* * *

She didn't get it. The healing rate was astounding. Rin had fibbed a bit to her sensei after finishing the healing on her own stomach. She'd told him she needed a few days to fully recover, but she had already been fully healed just a couple hours afterwards. It truly should have taken a few days extra; heck, she probably shouldn't have even survived the injury in the first place.

Large holes through intestines, the stomach, and several other vital organs were considered very serious. He had practically no experience in using medical jutsu without seals, chakra control just barely good enough for clumsy healing, and what Kakashi had eloquently referred to as a "pea-sized brain." Rin didn't know about the brain part—after all, she was pretty sure that the size of one's brain had absolutely nothing to do with intelligence—but she did know that with the severity of the injury, there was no way an amateur with zero field experience should have been able to fix it up that well.

No freakin' way. She was a medic, one of the best of her rank, so she ought to know.

During the healing, Rin had woken up on the ground with a wonderful feeling of warmth and safety enveloping her; somehow, she just knew she'd be ok, and she'd looked up to see an exhausted, sweaty Naruto leaning over her stomach with brightly glowing hands.

It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen; she was so relieved to simply be _alive_. Rising up off the ground just as he was collapsing, she'd run her own healing chakra through her system and gasped in amazement at what she'd sensed.

The Jonin's chakra was healing her _on its own_—while the originator was out cold, no less—and it was also the source of that reassuring warmth she felt.

"What's wrong?" a panicked Minato had asked as soon as he'd heard her gasp.

"Uh, nothing, Minato-sensei. It's just that I didn't expect Naruto to be able to handle this kind of injury; he used up a lot more chakra than he needed to."

He'd asked her no questions after that and had merely let her finish the healing process. What Rin mostly did, however, was observe how Naruto's chakra acted by sensing it out with her own.

A scrape she'd gotten on her knee the day before disappeared right before her eyes (which no one else noticed); the slight scar she'd gotten under her chin when she was five after insisting she was old enough to ride the big horse was gone; and it felt as though even her slight case of acne was clearing up.

What the heck was this?

How could his chakra be healing her without him controlling it, much less healing wounds years old that even the best of healing jutsu couldn't touch, things that technically weren't even injuries at all, and scratches that weren't anywhere near her stomach?

Two words: Im. Possible.

Bloodline? Couldn't be. Bloodlines didn't act like that. Strange, one-time-only aberration? That made the most sense.

But hadn't he mentioned something about a certain ability of his that Naruto had had before randomly appearing in the buff? (_Emphasis on "buff,"_ a small part of her muttered deep in the recesses of her mind; she didn't have a crush on him, but she could definitely appreciate a nice-looking body.) And didn't it have to do with healing? GAHH! She didn't know! How was she supposed to remember a conversation that had happened…how many weeks ago, again? Well, either way, she suspected it to be some sort of clue as to what the heck that ability was.

Either way, she'd taken two days just to think and study the phenomena. That had been rather easy, as the stuff had stayed active until the blonde Jonin had woken up after the two days. She'd noticed it this morning—it had finally dissipated completely sometime last night, she'd realized while Naruto sitting on his sleeping bag and scarfing down "the world's most delicious nutrition bars," as he'd called them.

They tasted ok. Far, far better than the usual fare, she would give him that, but Rin just hadn't been all that hungry lately.

It was the same sick-to-her-stomach feeling she'd gotten when eating too much candy before dinner. "Guilt will do that to you," her mother had always said when the girl had complained of an upset stomach, "and so will too much sugar."

_Good thinkin', Rin. Run right out into the middle of a fight between a jinchuuriki of unknown strength and two S-Class Jonin. Yeah, nothing bad'll happen with THAT one, right? After all, I have to prove myself to Kakashi-kun, right? Pfft. What an __**idiot**__ I was, and now I'm on this fancy new diet plan called, "Guilt-Trip: The Ultimate in Fat-Burning Solutions." Wonderful._

But seriously, how the heck was she supposed to have known that a jinchuuriki was even there in the first place? Minato had calmly explained the situation to her only afterwards, saying that if she ever did something like that again, he'd seal her chakra away till she learned a little discipline.

Ouch.

Not that she blamed him; she had almost gotten himself and his nephew killed. Oh, and that strange woman and herself. Rin supposed she'd be a little pissed, too; hence, the guilt.

It looked like there were several things she'd have to do as soon as the shorter blonde Jonin woke up.

She'd have to apologize.

She needed to find out what he'd done with his chakra to heal her like that.

If it wasn't a bloodline, per se, and was more like a special technique, it could increase their shinobi survival rate exponentially. If it did turn out to be an inherited ability, well, at least his kids would probably make excellent medics and save many lives. And if it were nothing more than a one-time thing, she'd work with Tsunade and find some way to make it a jutsu; after all, if it had happened once, it could be made to happen again.

Until then, she had all the time in the world to think as Minato's clone carried her through the thick grass or leapt from tree branch to tree branch in fluid, silent motions. It was almost enough to lull her to sleep and had already done so the two days previous.

Of course, Naruto's warm jacket helped. She'd sort of…stolen it that morning after he'd collapsed again. And Rin had also "borrowed" it the other two days, since riding on someone else's back could get rather cold. Besides, she'd been eyeing the thing ever since she'd first seen it with its giant phoenix on the back. Eventually, it'd have to permanently given back, but for now, it was all hers.

So, settling her head on her sensei's strong, broad shoulders, she yawned and prepared to sleep the trip away just as Naruto himself was doing. It was…nice…to relax…

...

Jiraiya cursed. Not too loudly, since they were making an effort to be silent as well as swift, but she heard it just the same and woke straight up. The man quickly jumped over to Minato (the real one) and whispered something into the man's ear. Rin enhanced her hearing just as she'd done the other day, only to hear, "We've got company coming to our left." The Jonin nodded, indicating that he'd already noticed.

Her eyes scanned the trees around them as her sensei stopped on a branch and hopped down gently and without making a sound; the clone stayed in the tree, and she looked to see Naruto every bit as awake as she was. It made her happy, not because he'd be any help in his exhausted condition, but because it was simply nice knowing that her mistakes hadn't hurt him too much. He was recovering just fine.

Even so, he pushed himself off of his uncle's back and sat down on the branch as steadily as he could with the man's help. "Go and help. I'll just hang out here."

Rin nodded her head in understanding. "Yeah, you, too, Clone-sensei. I'll stay here with Naruto and make sure he's ok."

"Alright," the copy replied, "but I'm going to put you both on the ground so that you can keep an eye on the prisoners."

"Works for me," a sleepy-sounding Naruto let it know just before it dispersed.

He was still chakra-exhausted, obviously, and if it came down to them as the last line of defense, he'd be zero help. No doubt the Jonin and his adult counterparts knew it, too.

And then there were Obito and Kakashi. They were both situated just a few yards from their position beneath the tree, clearly meant as a way to make sure no stray weapons or techniques got through. It was a wise choice; despite the rivalry and downright cruelty the two occasionally displayed towards each other, they'd always made the perfect team.

Except for now, as they were refusing to meet each other's eyes. It'd been like that ever since she'd woken up after getting her wound healed. Out of curiosity, Rin had asked her sensei why, and he'd explained to her what Jiraiya had told him. Apparently, the two were having a little spat.

They were acting like kindergarteners who'd both reached for the same crayon and gotten in a fistfight over it.

Or was there more to it than that? Had Obito's selfless actions somehow gotten through his teammate's cold exterior? Rin had never fooled herself about the young Hatake; she knew perfectly well that someone like him wouldn't make a good friend, let alone boyfriend, with his attitude and flaws. But she also knew that love wasn't right unless it was without strings attached.

"Love makes up for practically anything" was her favorite quote, after all. It was the reason why she had been able to mostly recover after what had happened with her father. Secretly, they were also the words she lived by. She could forgive Obito's ridiculous habits, his frustrating manner, and even irritating pranks because she cared for him like she would a brother.

Kakashi, for whom she cared far more than just as a friend, didn't have to be perfect or even agreeable for her to love him. Not that anything would ever come of her feelings, either. Oh, she might tell him some day—if he didn't already know—but she'd never let it progress further than that unless he shaped up. Still, she accepted him just as he was—whole, warts and all. (1)

And now it looked like Obito might have finally had some sort of impact on the silver-haired (he insisted it _wasn't_ grey) boy and opened him up a bit. Rin found it both highly amusing and somewhat annoying that another _male_ had accomplished in one day what dozens of fellow kunoichi (herself included) and citizen girls had tried doing for years.

Darn it.

So focused on her thoughts, the medic missed the moment when several kunai and shuriken came flying at her from the bushes to her left. Naruto, however, did not, and sprang to his feet to snatch them from the air (and two inches from her body) before flinging them back exactly ten degrees to the right of they'd originated from. A sharp yelp and cursing informed the two Leaf ninjas of the Jonin's success.

But he was still chakra-exhausted, so he promptly fell back down and glanced at her. "You almost kicked the bucket again, Rin," he said, panting. "Seriously, is this a normal occurrence? Because if it is, you really need to step up in your dodging and awareness."

Ouch. That hurt. But it was also true. Spacing out—while bad in and of itself—was no excuse for missing the presence of enemies and the hurling of pointy objects at her head.

"Sorry about that, Naruto," she muttered. "My head was elsewhere."

"Yeah…" he drew out with a strange expression on his face.

"Are you all ok over there?" Obito called to them, having intercepted his own attacks at the moment Naruto had been catching theirs. Kakashi was no better off.

"Yeah, we're good for now," the blonde let the Chuunin know, "but I'm not sure I have the strength to do that again."

"Duly noted," he replied.

That made Rin blink. Since when did the Black Sheep of the Uchiha use phrases like "duly noted"? Wouldn't "gotcha" have been more his style? Interesting…

Other thrown weapons were sent towards the adults, Jiraiya and Minato valiantly repelling them with their own weapons as they also faced off against several incoming jutsu. The clones came in especially handy there.

But she had to wonder what exactly her sensei and his sensei were waiting for. Surely they wouldn't simply stand around deflecting attacks while their enemies tossed them, right? It'd only wear them down, and ninjas couldn't afford long battles like this, anyway.

Spikes of earth rolled towards Jiraiya, who merely hit the ground with his right hand to form a mini-earthquake that collapsed and canceled out the technique, while one of his clones caught the three kunai heading towards its creator's leg. A move like that was not exactly light on chakra.

Minato simply stood there while his own Shadow Clone kept him from all harm as he concentrated on…something. Rin couldn't really tell what, but the amount of energy he was putting out wasn't exactly making her feel comfortable or confident.

And Obito and Kakashi were, as usual, doing a great job keeping them and the captives safe; no more attacks of any sort had gotten through, although that was doubtless partially due to her chakra-increased hearing. If an enemy so much as breathed within ten yards of them, she simply flicked her eyes towards the silver-haired Jonin and then towards the opponent to let him know where to aim. Obito simply used his Sharingan to check for chakra signatures.

Just then, what appeared to be a thousand brilliant flashes of light erupted all around them in the forest. Rin was shocked; when the heck had her sensei pulled that one off? Wasn't he still standing in the same sp—

She looked. No, he wasn't.

Then, the flashes stopped and he was abruptly back exactly where he'd been standing before, except covered in pecks of blood. That meant that the enemies had been standing in groups; normally, the famous man would travel so quickly that even blood spatter couldn't touch him unless he stopped somewhere very close by to kill another one. At least, that's what she thought happened; it was hard to tell without actually being able to _see_, much less _hear,_ the Jonin when he moved.

And then the medic noticed that every single attack had ceased.

They were dead. All their enemies were dead.

Minato never left any of them alive, and it both relieved Rin and tore her up inside. Those men and women…they'd once had families, friends, perhaps even children. Heck, some of them probably _were_ still children (like themselves), and now they were gone. Forever. Despite being on opposite sides of the war, she understood that the concept of suffering coming from loss did not merely apply to the Leaf.

Looking at Naruto, she could see that he, too, understood it. Like both herself and Minato, the thirteen-year-old could sympathize but never side with the enemy. If given a choice, they'd all prefer to spare them.

But such things were not possible in war—a war that Iwa had been at least halfway responsible for, and a war that they had continually refused to back down from. She'd briefly remembered hearing Obito proclaim that "no one attacks my home and gets away with it," and she agreed. Iwa was the aggressor here, so what else could they do to keep their homes safe?

And just like that, the fight was over and the bodies collected in sealing scrolls. Rin looked over at Naruto once more. He seemed close to falling back asleep, not at all uncommon with his condition, but it made her snicker quietly to see his head nodding and a small line of drool coming from his lips. _And Minato-sensei gets to carry him aaaalll the way back home_, she grinned to herself. It really shouldn't take much longer, she knew, since they were through trying to move in secret and were making excellent time.

A few more hours at most, then they'd reach the borders of Kusa, and after that…Fire Country and the Leaf Village. Soon, hopefully very soon, they'd be home free.

* * *

Darn it. Anytime now, and they'd be back in the village. Jiraiya was NOT looking forward to this. For one thing, he'd have to hand in a very interesting report, one woman, a young girl, and a still unconscious jinchuuriki over to his boss and former teacher, the Hokage himself. Needless to say, he was expecting the reception to be somewhat…tense. There were unspoken rules about villages capturing each other's bijuu in any form—even if they were enemies—for a reason.

The things were notoriously hard to handle, and finding a good container for them was also not the simplest thing in the world. According to rumors, only a few bloodlines were even capable of fully containing and controlling the monsters, and even that wasn't easy. Jiraiya himself didn't fully believe that about the bloodlines, but he could see how it would take a person of massive will power to subdue the demons and keep their influence away from his or her mind.

Although he personally believed it had far more to do with the seal and person's strength of mind, the theory might help explain why someone would contain a _thing_ like that in Naruto. If he truly did have an inherited trait and it truly did respond to his will like they were supposing, then the boy would probably have been seen as the perfect choice.

To think that a strong-willed person with chakra to back him up would be chosen as a jinchuuriki—against his parents' wishes, apparently—wasn't much of a shock.

But he sure didn't get that bloodline from his uncle's family. Although no one knew exactly who his parents had been, the one thing for sure was that he was a Namikaze, but they had no special abilities, unless one counted their rather…infamous reputation, which actually had nothing to do with Minato's Hiraishin, for once.

No, no. The Namikaze had been infamous for _centuries._ And NOT in a good way; sure, they were pretty powerful, but that had nothing on their reputation. His student's father was the first in his entire clan to actually choose something less than completely disreputable for an occupation. Known as charmers (brilliant political manipulators, in other words) and keepers of their word, they were also considered one of the most likely to…_bend_…just about every rule known to man.

A Namikaze was a little short on cash one week? His neighbor would suddenly be missing several valuable items, which would mysteriously end up in a pawn shop of some sort. One didn't have enough chicken to finish making lunch? Rather than travel _all the way_ to the butcher's or the grocer's, it was far more likely to find a few feathered pets missing from the nearby farm. A cheating spouse? That was synonymous with "one dead lover." The severed head was typically laid at the cheater's feet with a solemn vow that his or her next "friend" would end up worse.

Needless to say, it was extremely rare to find a case of a cheating Namikaze…and even rarer to find one who cheated _twice_. But it was even rarer for one to swear fealty to anyone other than the clan. They simply didn't like following anyone else's rules. And Minato's father had been the rarest of them all: a ladies' man as well as a very loyal and powerful ninja serving under the Hokage.

The Sage knew perfectly well how that had come about. As a powerful twenty-year-old, his family of semi-nomads had been in the village, where he'd spotted a beautiful girl several years younger than himself in the marketplace. He was immediately hooked and began following her around everywhere she went. Eventually, he caught the attention of the girl's father—who was not at all impressed, of course, and who just happened to be Tobirama Senju, Hokage number two. From the reports the girl herself and his own sensei had given, there had been some sort of scuffle between Kaito and the overprotective father, ending with a choice between an oath of fealty to the village or the young Namikaze parting with some very…important anatomy. Just like that, the young genius' ties to his clan were permanently transferred over to the Hokage as he essentially died to his own family.

No one who left the clan's ways was ever allowed to go back.

From that day forward, Tobirama had gained the village an invaluable ally, not to mention what many considered to be an irredeemable pervert who'd gotten Hiruzen Sarutobi started on peeping on women. The two had been best friends practically since the moment they'd met, and just to seal the deal between Kaito and the village, the kid had actually ended up marrying the daimyo's daughter.

The little devil had actually managed to land himself a princess fifteen years after stalking the Second Hokage's only offspring. Charmers, indeed.

And he'd fathered a child sometime beforehand. Who knew when? Or with whom? Only Naruto could say who his parents were, and Jiraiya highly doubted such a thing would ever happen. He'd been pretty secretive so far.

But whether or not he answered that question, the one about his former status as a jinchuuriki was solved. And that was bound to cause plenty of problems with the Sandaime; technically, it meant he was bringing _two_ containers back to Konoha, or, as some would see it, a demon with a current host and a loyal ninja who could easily "take" the job off of Han's hands and make the Gobi _their_ weapon instead of Iwa's.

At least, that's how Danzo would see it, the creep. All the more reason to get rid of him, Jiraiya supposed.

And all the more reason to dread returning home. Danzo would be a dangerous, deadly opponent even for himself. He'd been in the running for Sandaime for a reason, after all. Could Naruto take him like he was planning? Or would his precious student lose his only living relative?

"That would kill him," he muttered to himself as he continued dodging twigs and leaping from one branch to another. They were already far past the border.

Jiraiya looked around for a moment, spying the Chuunin running side by side with Rin in the middle and the two boys still stubbornly ignoring each other.

Naruto himself was still attached to his uncle's back. He was recovered enough to stand and even run for awhile if he wanted, but only if he didn't use chakra. Jiraiya wondered if it had something to do with his bloodline—if that thing actually was one. And the commotion THAT would cause in the village along with all the other little surprises regarding the Jonin? He could think of less painful headaches, such as getting crushed by an avalanche. Three times.

But that wasn't the worst of it. Oh, no, that wasn't the worst by far.

That title belonged to Orochimaru, his former teammate, rival, and best friend. After his talk with the young Namikaze, he'd found it impossible to avoid the subject of his betrayal. And the more he thought about it, the more he realized he had missed. Whatever the man had been to his comrades in the past, he wasn't any longer. The boy, the genius that was his friend, was dead forever. And now, with such a powerful enemy needing to be taken down, he'd be expected to play a part in it.

He was going to have to watch his teammate die and maybe even kill him himself.

_Why_ would he want to go back for that—to see blood spilled and a life he'd seen grow up ended? It both terrified and horrified the Sannin to know that it was absolutely necessary. Someone that powerful and influential could not be allowed to remain a threat

He glanced over at Naruto, who was once again riding on his uncle's back (or was it a clone's back?) and realized that the boy was looking at him with a mixture of sadness, regret, and fear all of his own. The kid wasn't looking forward to this, either, although it might have been for different reasons. Having been a jinchuuriki, there was a very good chance that he'd been used before—probably his entire life. Would it happen again? Would he be forced to carry another demon "for the good of the village"? Better yet, if that did happen, would he simply kill himself a second time to get out of it again?

And if that happened, Jiraiya could only imagine how his uncle would react. Minato would probably tear the village down piece by piece.

And he'd probably join him. There was something about the kid, something that drew people to him, whether in anger or in love, and to see a person like that destroyed would be the worst kind of sin, the Sage felt. And right now, the boy seemed like he was absolutely dreading returning to Konoha; the happy-go-lucky, smiling face was marred by a frown and troubled eyes.

He had a feeling it reflected his own.

A thousand trees had passed him by and still that little fact was on his mind: their return home meant his best friend's execution. Jito's hostile glare as his clone grabbed a little too high on her legs (according to her) didn't even phase him. Seeing Obito and Kakashi studiously ignore each other didn't make him bat an eye. Watching as Rin drooled all over her sensei's back (or was it his clones?) wasn't even bringing a smile to his face.

By the time they had finally stopped for the night, he had gone completely numb. Reality was hitting home in the worst of ways.

The sun was setting, its rays glowing over the small clearing they were resting in, and all he did was stand in the same spot for ten minutes while everyone else was busy setting up camp. Jiraiya took no notice when Jito viciously kicked and dispelled the clone that had carried her, and the little child that climbed down his back, he also ignored.

He sat down and simply stared as Obito started a tiny campfire. When it was built, he just stared into the flames and watched as they danced their complex rhythm, beating it out on the logs beneath in sharp-sounding pops and crackles. It was a dance almost as old as time itself, soon reaching its climax with a glorious wave of heat and glittering ash that littered the air and died in the surrounding grass. And then, the fire also died. It became little more than glowing embers as the vicious dancers settled back down to sleep below the blistering remains of the logs. But even those soon went out, and all became dark.

Those around him had fallen asleep hours ago, but he couldn't sleep. Couldn't even make himself move.

Still, he couldn't move. His best friend was going to die.

The fire was dead and he was cold and numb.

He could remember their first meeting…

"_Team Seven!" the instructor called out, "Orochimaru, Jiraiya, and Tsunade Senju!"_

_An exasperated sigh escaped his mouth. Great. He was stuck with a flat-chested hag and a stuck-up, bast—_

"_Aw, man! Not the pervert and the creep! Can't I be assigned somewhere else? ANYWHERE else?"_

"_Humph," Orochimaru muttered, probably in agreement. A few girls near him giggled._

_Their sensei's sigh almost perfectly mirrored Jiraiya's. "Tsunade, all teams are carefully chosen to be balanced; this is the ideal placement for you."_

"_I. Don't. Care. I don't like them," she glared right back._

_Shaking his head, Jiraiya wondered what deity he'd pissed off enough to warrant this. Someone had to be getting a kick out of his misery, after all._

_The instructor's patience wore thin. She was holding up the rest of the team assignments with her attitude, so the white-haired boy could understand why he suddenly snapped, "Then I guess you'll just have to grow up and get over yourself, won't you."_

And after that, they'd finally met their new Team Seven sensei.

_A man with black hair, a goatee, and a dark grey outfit on walked into the room. Everything immediately stopped, and every person present bowed. _

_The Sandaime had just come into the room. What in the world was he doing there?_

_Jiraiya gulped from his seat. Surely, they hadn't found out about his Transparent Escape Jutsu? He could be in some real trouble if they had…_

"_Team Seven, come with me," he announced in a quiet yet clear tone that left no doubt in the boy's mind. He knew._

_Dreading what was to come, he followed the Hokage out to a training field, making sure to stay right behind the so-called prodigy and the temperamental hag just in case any flying projectiles came his way. Jiraiya wasn't a coward, but he also wasn't stupid; the Sandaime wouldn't kill innocents, which they were and he most certainly _wasn't.

_The tall man sat in the grass and motioned to the others to do the same. The boy figured if he sat in the middle and just slightly behind the other two, he could get behind them at a moment's notice._

"_Alright, let's get started. Introduce yourselves; tell me your name, likes, dislikes, dreams, and any hobbies."_

_Eh? What kind of punishment was this supposed to be, again?_

"_Um," he stuttered a little uncertainly, "why don't you go first, Mister, and show us how it's done?"_

_The Kage blinked. "Ok, well, I'm Hiruzen Sarutobi, your new sensei. I like the village, my family, learning new techniques, and my favorite food is hijiki. I dislike those who would harm the village and my family, and I find Narazuke unutterably disgusting. My dream is to train you to be excellent ninja and watch my children grow up. My hobbies…well, I'll just keep those to myself for now. Your turn, Tsunade-chan."_

_Jiraiya blinked. Did he just say he was their new instructor? So, did that mean he _wasn't_ in trouble? He _hadn't_ been caught! A slight smirk lifted the corner of his mouth as both a sense of relief and superiority filled him. The Transparent Escape Jutsu was safe!...and so was his neck._

"_I'm Tsunade Senju, granddaughter of the Shodaime—"_

_Both he and Orochimaru rolled their eyes. She'd always been a little arrogant._

"—_I like my family, beating up perverts—"_

_Well. Wasn't that just a bit obvious._

"—_and learning medical techniques. I dislike the same perverts I beat up, liver, men who don't think women can be good shinobi…"_

_Jiraiya drowned out the rest of the very long list until she got to her dreams._

"…_and my dream is to be the strongest kunoichi and best medic the world has ever seen."_

_Huh. An ambitious little brat._

"_Very good. And you, Orochimaru?"_

"…_I'm Orochimaru. I like…training and learning new techniques. I dislike…weakness. I don't really have a dream right now, but I'd like to try learning every jutsu in the world some day."_

"_Wow," Jiraiya drawled. "Aren't you one-dimensional."_

_The other boy snapped his head around to glare at the comment, golden eyes flashing in irritation. He opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, the white-haired pervert began speaking again._

"…_but at least your chest is _supposed_ to be flat."_

_Dead silence greeted his words, but he noticed that his rival's lips quirked upwards ever so slightly as he tried to hold back his laughter. It was the last scene he remembered before Tsunade's fist connected with his head._

_He'd woken up in the hospital a few hours later with Orochimaru sitting by his bed. "You know, you might not want to antagonize her so much. After all, you need all the brain cells you can get."_

_Jiraiya smiled, liking the challenge. He could get used to this guy! He'd have to beat him up later to show his appreciation._

Now, all of that was gone, only to be preserved in a few, bittersweet memories. "Orochimaru…" he whispered so quietly that the sound didn't even reach his own ears, "…what have you done?"

Morning came too soon for the exhausted Sannin. He knew that if they made good time today, they could easily be back in the village well before nightfall. Was it wrong of him to wish that they'd had one more fight—just one—to delay them a bit longer?

The early morning fog seemed like it would freeze his clothes to his own bones, his typical Jonin attire unable to hold back the moisture. But he still couldn't even move to shiver. All he could do was blink at the long-deceased fire as deep purples and oranges began to streak the sky, mocking him in its beauty and peacefulness. Making his heart ache.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" a young voice quietly asked him.

Naruto.

When had he woken up?

The boy stripped himself of his sleeping back and half stumbled over to the Sage.

"What do you mean?" he was amazingly able to respond back.

"Your best friend—knowing that you might have to…" the blonde's voice, filled with understanding and regret trailed off.

A lump formed in Jiraiya's throat as he found himself unable to respond without it tearing him limb from limb.

"I was once forced to do it, too."

What? What was he talking about?

"My friend, the one who stabbed a lightning jutsu through my chest. I had to kill him."

Ah. Yes, Jiraiya remembered the kid mentioning that.

"For a long time, I was alone. No family, no friends, no one who cared except the Old Man and the two people at the Ramen shop. Then, I found out there was someone else like me, someone else who was alone, and it…helped somehow, knowing that he understood. He also had no family and no friends—just people who cared about his status and his name and were constantly trying to suck up to him. Huh, now that I think back on it, I realize that he had it worse than I did in many ways."

Worse? Worse than a jinchuuriki? Jiraiya doubted it.

"The people scorned me, but at least they mostly did it honestly to my face. But him? The people acted like they loved him, when most of the time, they simply pitied him or loved what his family had been. But Sasuke himself, they didn't even know and didn't _care_ to know the slightest thing about him."

…massacre…what was this kid talking about? He turned his head slightly to look at the blue-eyed wonder to see a sad smile as he looked at the ground and drew circles in the dirt with his fingers.

"Me, they openly showed their hatred towards. They didn't hide their emotions behind pretty words, for the most part. But at least I knew whom I could trust; he didn't. What sort of guarantee was he supposed to have when he could never be sure of the people's intentions? Most of them just wanted his money and influence or thought he had a pretty face. The fan-girls were the worst of the bunch—shallow little twits who did nothing but hang all over him like he was some sort of possession. They didn't care that he was hurting and angry. He'd lost his whole family in a single night and thought of nothing but revenge. It was a feeling I never did understand until my sensei was killed…till my village was destroyed."

The smile had long since disappeared, only leaving the sorrow behind. Naruto shook his head, perhaps in an attempt to rid himself of the images plaguing his mind, before speaking again.

"But he betrayed us—left the village to join up with an S-ranked missing ninja all in the pursuit of power. Several of my friends were nearly killed trying to bring him back, and he left me lying at the edge of a river half-dead. When I finally managed to catch up with him some time later, he'd become so unbelievably cold. And powerful. We didn't stand a chance and were easily beaten, but we still didn't quit trying to bring him back home."

He paused for a moment, and the Sage realized Naruto was finding it very difficult to tell him these things. It was such a deep and integral part of his being that revealing it left him vulnerable and exposed. Naruto was willingly giving Jiraiya a weak point that he could use and exploit any time he wanted.

He didn't want to.

"Then…he attacked the village itself. Until then, he'd never actually raised a hand against it except to defend himself when attacked, so he wasn't really a criminal to us so much as a wayward comrade. But when he finally did…there was only one option left. I couldn't bring him out of the darkness like I'd promised my other teammate so long ago; I couldn't bring my brother back to her because he was just too far gone. The only thing left I could do was to make sure he didn't go any further. I-I had no choice. I killed him. My best friend, my brother, my rival—he was dead by my own hands. And I still can't forgive myself for it, even though I know it was the right thing to do."

Jiraiya gulped after the boy finished speaking, his voice becoming little more than a pained whisper at the end. He knew what the young genius was doing and was both sickened by it and grateful for it. Naruto was telling him that it might be too late to pull Orochimaru out of the darkness, but it wasn't too late to save him from a far worse fate. It was the last gift the Sage could give his friend, and his stomach rebelled at the very notion.

Springing to his feet, he managed to make it to a bush far enough away from everyone else so that they wouldn't smell it, and threw up the little food he'd had the day before. He heaved and heaved and heaved, even when there was nothing left and only bile to spit out, and still his stomach rebelled.

Had Naruto reacted like this, too?

As if he had been reading the Sage's mind, the boy spoke. "It's awful, isn't it—this ninja world full of violence and death, the cycle of hatred and revenge seemingly never ending? I read your book awhile back, you know. 'If there is such a thing as peace, I'll find it.' And you know what I did? I promised right then and there that I would be the one to find it. But it's a promise I still haven't kept."

The heaving stopped. The Sage was listening, curious about the Jonin who had come to stand beside him and hold his long, white hair out of the way. "You really think you can?"

He smiled, the sadness and fatigue suddenly gone from his bright blue eyes. "Yes, I do."

"How?"

"One person at a time, Super Perv. One person at a time."

Then, Naruto handed him a canteen full of water and he drank, the words echoing in his mind and helping to push his despair aside. For the first time since going on this nightmare of a mission, Jiraiya felt almost…free.

There was a long road ahead, true, and it was full of traps and pitfalls on either side, but with a friend who was willing to walk it with him, it suddenly didn't seem quite so long.

And like a boulder, the realization hit him. After he'd heard of Nagato's untimely demise, he thought that maybe the one to bring peace would end up being Minato; no doubt it was one of his lifelong goals and he'd strive and strain every molecule of his existence to bring it to pass. But now Jiraiya understood that, while the man would definitely be a deciding factor in that peace, he was not the child of prophecy.

For whatever reason, fate (or was it some unknown Deity?) ha d chosen this thirteen-year-old before him. He wasn't his student—which confused him a bit—but Jiraiya had no doubts that Naruto would be the one to start the revolution.

One person at a time.

* * *

Some hours later, the entire group stood before the Sandaime Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi. He found them tired-looking but healthy, and more than one seemed a little grim. He knew the feeling.

His student, the one he'd always valued as highly as his own sons, would soon die.

_Dear God, has it truly come to this? Oh that I could die instead of you! But I cannot allow you to put others' lives in danger any longer. My son, my son…I am sorry._

He straightened up and looked Naruto directly in the eye as the boy stared unflinchingly back. It was time.

"Naruto-san, please take the Chuunin to the hospital to check for any invisible injuries"—that was just an excuse to get them out—"and show our guests their temporary lodgings. Afterwards, please check on Han; they may need your assistance in dealing with him in Interrogation."

The blonde bowed and left with the Chuunin, the girl with sunglasses, and the woman.

As soon as the door was shut, Sarutobi turned to Minato. "Activate the silencing seals, if you please."

The walls glowed blue for a brief moment, and all sounds from the outside were immediately blocked out.

"Now, we need to discuss what we're going to do with Orochimaru…"

* * *

************************************

It's not fear. The real fear hasn't come yet.  
But it will. It's the doublethink  
that believes peace is only another movement.  
And I say it with suspicion, at the top of my lungs.  
And it's not fear, no. It's the certainty  
that I'm betting, on a single card,  
the whole haystack I've piled up,  
straw by straw, for my fellow man.

* * *

Thar' she blows!

I hope you liked the chapter and I hope the person who mentioned it being a little more serious and grim appreciates all the effort that went into this. I like somewhat grim things, too, and fully intended to make this one a bit darker than the others. Hope it meets your expectations!

At this point, Naruto has had a bit of a wake-up call. He's been getting little ones the entire mission but wasn't really paying attention like he should have been. He cares for those around him but kept pretending that it was ok that he was changing things. Sure, the people he'd known and loved would be different, but it would all be for the best. Now he's starting to understand that he could end up making things worse far more easily than he makes things better. He's a bit dense, ya know, so sometimes it takes awhile for things to really sink into his skull. The thing at the beginning was him panicking and not always making sense.

Jiraiya started his own brand of panicking. I mean, seriously, if you were just told you'd have to kill your best friend because he'd done horrible stuff, would you feel any better? I'd probably have a mini-melt down, too.

Hope you liked the little history bit about the Namikaze. A lot of stories on this site try to make the name out to be some great clan with a pristine history. I wanted this to be a little different, a little...dirtier, I guess you might say. After all, no one's got a family history that squeaky clean, right?

Anyway, let me know what you think :)

Notes on some things in the chapter that you might have noticed:

The poem that I sort of spaced throughout the story is called _Not Fear_ by Rafael Guillen. I read it and believed it would fit very well within the story but didn't want to just crowd it in at the beginning or make it one of those cheesy stories where a character has a great epiphany after reading something that rhymes or has a nice sound to it. The characters aren't reading, speaking, hearing, or even thinking this poem. This, dear readers, was for you, not to help some corny moment build up.

…I hate song-fics with very, very few exceptions.

This refers to Oliver Cromwell. When he was getting his picture painted (they didn't exactly have cameras back then), he reportedly insisted on being portrayed honestly—"warts and all". Don't know about you, but I wouldn't want someone painting my zits in a picture that's going to be passed down for centuries…like his was. Strange guy.


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